I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter!
What seems so out of reach,
We're holding it right in our hands.
Let's give up everything,
Let's jump in and never look back.
This is all I ever wanted,
But life got in my way.
You're all I ever wanted,
I didn't see how it could change,
That something was missing until today.
Chapter Twenty-One: Gifts and Phone Calls
Bella POV
I sat at the Cullen house talking to Angela and Alice, chatting about a new movie coming to theatres next week. It had been a week since I woke up in this new world, a week since my dad and Angela saw me for the first time. I felt really proud of myself for how well I've done. It wasn't all the difficult to be around my dad…Angela smelled better. She was the lavender smell in my yard that I noticed when I went to visit my dad. I was able to get over it after a moment to take her in. 'My own blood smelled much better than theirs anyway.' I thought humourlessly. It is kind of a strange feeling to know the best blood I've smelt so far is my own…and that blood no longer lives. I've been really good about the whole transformation…better than I thought I would be. I feel amazing, I get to keep my dad and my best human friend…and I know that I can give my dad the bulletproof daughter he's always wanted. Things have been an adjustment…I mean instead of pizza I drink blood out of bags from the butcher, I can see tiny lint particles on my dad's jacket 20 feet away and I still go way too fast…but I'm getting there. Carlisle thinks that it's such an adjustment because I am so humanistic. Go figure…I'm a supernatural being and I'm still clumsy. Well…as far as vampires go. My dad and Angela had commented on how graceful I have become but myself and the Cullen's can hear the slight stumble over my words and the hesitancy of my movements. Though I have to admit it's a big improvement.
I have spent my week "relaxing" as Alice put it. I just want to get myself in check and focus on self-control so that I can be more predictable for those around me. It is difficult when I am with my dad and I zip in and out of the room to grab him another beer or lunch. We have been at the Cullen house since the day I woke because we cannot chance others coming by and seeing me now that everyone believes I am dead. Angela convinced her mom that her and the Cullen's have become really close, Alice even went to "hang out" with Angela at her house one day after school for show and so her mom could meet Alice. Angela has been coming here almost every day after school and Carlisle or Esme always offer to drive her home so that Angela's mom doesn't worry. Since my death everyone has been on high alert in Forks. The entire town thinks that a "bear" attacked and killed the police chief's daughter in their own backyard. Apparently no one feels safe and no one knows what to do. We know that the threat is gone because James, Victoria and Laurent are all dead and the wolves have no new vampires to mistake with humans anymore, but the town is still terrified. Carlisle even suggested to my dad that they go bear hunting and once they have gotten a bear they can tell the town the peace has been restored. That is the goal next week apparently.
"Bella? You there? Youuuu-whoooooo." Angela said to me and snapped me out of my daze. I looked to Alice and Angela and was met with amusement. I could feel Jasper and Emmett looking at me from their place on the couch playing videogames as well. I shook my head.
"Sorry guys. I was in deep thought. I didn't hear a word you guys said." Alice giggled and Angela smiled to me and repeated her question.
"That's ok Bella. I just asked if you wanted to go see the movie next week?" I thought for a moment, which was like one second to Angela because my mind can work so much faster now.
"I'd love to!" Emmett spoke from the couch.
"Yea but you guys can't go to Port Angles. You can't risk someone recognizing Bella." I hadn't thought of that. Angela looked disapointed but nodded. Alice smiled.
"That's alright! If you don't mind letting one of us drive we can go to Port Townsend, even Seattle instead!" Angela looked wary.
"Three and a half hours just to see a move?" I laughed and looked to Alice.
"Well Angela, if you remember from when we drove you home the day Bella woke up…we can drive a lot faster than a human." Angela looked thoughtful until realization struck her.
"OH! I honestly didn't know if that was just my mind because of my panic… or if you guys actually drove THAT fast. That's…wow." I laughed. I knew how she felt.
"We could all go if you wanted. One of us could drive. We could even all fit in my jeep if you want? I haven't been to Seattle in a while." Emmett said from the couch smiling. I looked to Angela who smiled as well.
"Deal! I'm so excited Bella! I feel so lucky…everyone at school…they all think you're gone. It's getting so hard to sit there at school and listen to people be sad and cry and talk about you and Jessica when I know that I get to come here after school and see you. I get to be apart of your new amazing life and I just feel…so lucky. It's hard but when I come here and can see you…I remember that I'm keeping this incredible secret for you and it's worth it. Angela told me sincerely. She had tears welling in her eyes and I put my hand on hers. She shivered and I took it away but she found it again and shook her head.
"No, I don't mind. If being near you means dealing with the cold then I am willing to do that. I really can't thank any of you enough. You didn't need to let me in…and you did. You have all accepted me into your lives because you know how much I value my friendship with Bella and I'm so grateful." I gave Angela a hug and wiped away a tear. I pulled back and looked to my hands.
"Umm…so what was school like? You know…when the news was released?" I looked to Angela, who looked down. I turned to Alice, Jasper and Emmett. None of them would look at me. I waited patiently; I knew one of them would talk.
"It was awful Bella. Everyone was told that you were ripped to shreds by a big bear and everyone just lost it. I don't think people are over Jessica's death…and then your accident with your dad…no one was really expecting it and all the emotion just just…overwhelming." Angela told me. I heard Jasper sigh behind me.
"You're damn right it was overwhelming. Everyone was devastated when Jessica died but there was so much more…despair and hopelessness this time. Almost like people were thinking that if it could get the chief's daughter, no one was safe." I nodded.
"It was horrible. Having to sit there in class…knowing that you were here…silent…not moving…and have to convince myself that you were alive and making the change. Healing…and have everyone around you talk about how you were gone." We turned to Emmett as he spoke sadly. He wasn't looking at any of us. He just looked…broken. I stood up and sat beside him on the couch, giving him my hand. He took it gladly and clutched it.
"It was hard to remember that you weren't actually gone." He said so softly, I wasn't sure Angela would be able to hear him. I put my head on his shoulder and let him wrap his arms around me in a hug. We stayed quiet until Alice spoke.
"I know what you mean Em. It was like…you almost wanted to lash out at everyone and argue that you were still alive." Angela nodded.
"Sometimes its still hard to not lash out. I mean…when people talk about you it's hard to not just tell them they are wrong and that you're still here. Mike was saying he wanted to take you to prom and he misses you so much but…he was a total jerk when you were in school acting all protective about something he never had. I almost just want to shake him and tell him you're not gone and you'd love to give him a piece of your mind. He's just acting like you guys were so close and he's using your death for attention." I felt Emmett's embrace tighten when Angela spoke about Mike. I gave him a squeeze and pulled away.
"Seriously?" I asked, she nodded.
"Yea a few people are. Mike…Lauren…they act like you guys were best friends. Its so annoying." I shook my head. Mike and I haven't really spoken much since I let him have it about the Cullen's and Lauren always hated me.
"It's odd though because a lot of people have actually approached us and told us they are sorry for our loss. We have spoken to more students in the last week than we have since we got here 2 years ago." Alice said. I laughed knowing how weird that would be. Everyone would give me strange looks for talking to the Cullen's and now everyone was approaching them. I watched Angela for a moment, she seemed out of place.
"Hey, you alright?" I asked her, she looked up to me and nodded slowly.
"Yea, I'm good." Her eyes went from dark brown to an orangish hazel colour and I locked onto her.
"You're lying." I broke eye contact so that I didn't force the truth out of her but everyone looked at me incredulously.
"I will never get used to that. How does that gift work?!" Alice said excitedly and I looked to her and laughed.
"Eyes change colour when you lie."
"They do?" Angela asked me interested. I nodded.
"Yours just went an orangish hazel colour, eyes go orange when you lie. When I woke up and Jasper told me nothing was wrong, his eyes went orange. It's like a "tell"." Jasper looked interested, but I knew he would do some research. I turned back to Angela.
"So…what's wrong Ang?" She sighed.
"I just…feel so guilty. You guys are amazing…and I haven't taken the time to get to know you in two whole years. I just feel really bad." She hung her head and Alice placed a hand on hers.
"Hey now, it's ok. We don't blame you…we are hard to approach. It's in our nature to draw in prey on an individual basis but when you come across a group of us it's natural to avoid us. We are different." Angela smiled.
"Yea but you guys are incredible. I just wanted you to know that I wish I had have given you a chance before Bella came along." Alice shook her head.
"No! No, no. Never regret the past. Are you happy right now?" Angela nodded.
"Of course I am." Alice smiled.
"Then never wish to change something from the past. Your life has played out exactly to this moment. Take it from me…the future can always change based on what you decide. If you are happy where you are just know you made the best good and bad decisions." Everyone was silent for what felt like forever and I smiled.
"Never bet against wise, old Aunt Alice!" She rolled her eyes and pushed me. This time, I didn't move.
"Hah! Take that! You can't faze me." She laughed and shook her head at me. I excused myself, as slow as possible, to the kitchen. I came back a few moments later with a green plastic cup with a lid and straw.
Emmett POV
Bella came back into the room sipping on this green cup with a straw and sat back down on the floor beside the girls. I looked at her with interest; I could smell the blood.
"Bella…what are you doing?" She looked to me confused.
"…Having dinner?" Jasper chuckled and Angela looked a little unsure, looking at the cup.
"Bella…what's in there?" She gave a one shot laugh and looked at Angela.
"Angela. What do you think is in the cup? You guys act like I'm so strange…I was hungry!" Alice giggled and looked to Bella.
"Bella it's just strange because usually vampires can't feed around others so calmly. Blood sends us into hunt mode. We don't abide by human meals times…we hunt once every day or so and that's it." Bella looked down to her cup and took another sip. She really is incredible.
"Bella doesn't have a 'hunt mode' it seems." Jasper chuckled and Bella shot him a "you hush" look.
"Angela, I promise. It's just blood from a butcher shop, you don't need to worry." We all looked to Bella, Angela hadn't said anything. We were all silent and Bella put her cup down.
"Oh…sorry. I accidentally wished in my head that I could know what you guys were thinking. Angela couldn't shake the thought that it was human blood in my cup."
"God Bella stop being such a cool toy!" I yelled jokingly. We laughed and the girls fell back into conversation and Jasper and I continued our game.
Bella POV
I asked Alice to come for a run with me so that I could expel some energy, considering I don't go for a daily hunt. Alice said she could eat so we said goodbye to Angela at about 9pm and Carlisle took her home. Alice and I had been out for about an hour now when I knew we were far enough from home, and both fed, for me to talk to her.
"So I wanted to talk to you about something Alice." Alice looked to me with curiosity.
"Weird, usually I can see things like that." I grinned.
"I temporarily found this gift and I can keep you from seeing parts of my future." She shook her head and rolled her eyes.
"God girl! You're like an app store!" I laughed and nudged her.
"Oh hush. But I do need to talk to you about something." We stopped and sat up in a tree with a beautiful view of the stars and I had her full attention.
"Well…I have a gift that I haven't told anyone about." She looked at me curiously and I continued.
"And when I was figuring out my scanner system I scanned you guys…and you sort of have another gift that you don't know about too."
"I what?" She asked me in shock. I nodded.
"You see…there is apparently special gifts that are only given to vampires with blood relatives that are vampires."
"So, do we have the same gift?" I nodded.
"Oh my God that's so cool! So what is it?" I took a deep, unnecessary breath.
"Well…we are what they like to call a 'child barer'." She gave me a weird look.
"It's a very rare ability, and I'm not entirely sure how it works yet…but because we are blood relatives we now both have the ability to pro-create."
"Bella what are you saying?" Alice said in a low voice, looking at me with tears in her eyes.
"We can have children with our true mates."
I wasn't sure how long we had been sitting in the tree, just looking at the stars but I made sure to not read her mind. She needed time to process this. After what felt like forever I heard Alice speak quietly.
"But I don't see how that would work…" I nodded.
"I know. We will have to do some research." We were silent again for a few minutes until she spoke.
"I have always wanted a family. I am so lucky to have Carlisle and Esme…Edward…Emmett…Jasper. I was even lucky to have someone like Rosalie. Kind of like that sister you just can't get along with. As great as my family is I always knew it wasn't the family I always wanted. And then I found you." She looked to me with tears glowing in her eyes.
"I just knew you were what I always wanted. You felt like home Bella. And now I know why I was never able to give you up even when I know we weren't good for you. Finding my niece after decades of living in this existence… now being able to place myself in this world I feel…like the luckiest girl on earth. I didn't even know I was missing such a huge part of my maternal nature until now. Jasper always bugged me about treating you like my daughter. You brought out my maternal nature and I thought that was because I wanted to protect you but…maybe that wasn't the entire reason." I looked to her curiously.
"I didn't realize how much I wanted to be a mom until you told me I was able. I feel like my entire existence has just been completed…that I have the last puzzle piece. I can have a child…have a family…a biological family. I always just ruled it out and never considered that it was missing from my life. I didn't know it was missing until now." I watched Alice break down without breaking down. She was baring her heart and soul to me and I felt for her. If anyone in this world deserved to have kids it was Alice. She would be such an amazing mom…and Jasper would make an amazing dad. I smiled to her and gave her a hug.
"You would make the bets mom." I whispered to her and she giggled.
"Oh my God…I have the chance to be a mom! What is Jasper going to say?!" I laughed and beamed at her. I felt so good for making her day. She was wiping her dry, tear-brimmed eyes and grumbled.
"Grr! I wish I could just CRY" I smiled to her and looked her dead in the eye. All of a sudden tears began to flow from her eyes. She looked at me in shock.
"Bella! What-?" I smiled at her.
"I've always heard you say that you wish you could cry. You deserve to hold those human traits that you miss." I looked into her eyes and my scanner popped up.
Alicia Clarke
Premonitions, Child Barer, Humanistic
Due to mental instability as a human, this vampire can tell the future, though it is subject to change based on decision. Because this vampire has a blood relative that is a vampire, this vampire has the ability to have children with their mate, but only their mate. They also have human traits and can easily camouflage into the human world.
I smiled as I came back to Alice and she was laughing as she cried.
"Oh my God…I cannot remember crying…I…woah my voice…" I grinned.
"I gave you the humanistic gift." She squealed and threw herself at me. She was still graceful as ever but she now possessed the ability to cry, stumble over her words, and other humanistic traits.
"Bella I don't even know how to thank you." I shook my head.
"Alice…you gave me the gift of life and invincibility. It is my pleasure to give this to you."
Emmett POV
Bella and Alice came back after a few hours and we could all tell something was off. Alice went and hugged Jasper immediately and began crying REAL tears. Not the ones she always got frustrated with because they wouldn't fall…but real human tears. Bella went to get Carlisle from his study and brought everyone together to the living room. We all stood around nervously…Jasper was fiddling with Alice's shirt sleeves…maybe he is projecting? Alice was smiling and wiping away tears and Bella looked fairly proud.
"Alright girls, you needed to speak to the family?" Alice and Bella looked to each other as Carlisle spoke and Alice broke into a fresh round of silent, happy tears.
"Well…Alice and I went for a run because I wanted to talk to her. There is a gift that I kept from all of you until I could talk to Alice about it." We all looked at each other surprised. This wasn't what we were expecting.
"Alright Bella, what is the gift?" Carlisle asked. Bella took a deep breath.
"Well, as I explained to Alice, there are certain gifts that I have found are restricted to vampires that have vampire blood relatives. When I became a vampire, Alice and I, as blood relatives, each gained an ability." Jasper looked to Alice, who was almost bouncing out of her skin. Bella continued.
"I don't know quite how it works, but I know that it is only possible with our true mates. Alice and I…we are child barers." Everyone was silent, not sure it meant what we all no doubt think it means. Alice was grinning and Bella went to hold Alice's hand.
"We have the ability to have children with our true mates." Bella confirmed and everyone had different reactions. Carlisle looked stunned, Esme's eyes were brimming with unshed tears and she was smiling with her hand over her still heart. Jasper looked at Alice incredulously. I see his mind swirling, as he stood there with his mouth wide open. Alice laughed at him and nodded.
I couldn't help but just watch Bella. Bella stood there watching Alice happily and everyone was no doubt thinking about what this meant for Alice and Jasper but it did not go unnoticed to me that Bella was able to have children too. Bella…my Bella…but what if she wasn't my Bella? She would be able to have kids with her true mate…and what if that isn't me? Bella and I hadn't been spending as much time together as we did when she was human because I have wanted to give her the time to adjust to her new life. I haven't forgotten that kiss though…the feeling I got when our lips met…I looked to Bella longingly. I want to be that person for her. I want so badly to be hers…but I might not be.
"You mean you…" Jasper finally got out, staring at Alice. She nodded.
"And Bella gave me her humanistic gift as a wish! I can cry!" She said as a few more tears fell. I chuckled looking to Alice. She wouldn't be frustrated anymore over her tears, and I was happy for her. I looked to Carlisle who was trying to smile.
"Carlisle what's the matter darling?" Esme asked, placing a loving hand on his shoulder. He sat there for moment thinking.
"I just need to do some research into this gift. We need to know what the implications are here. If you are both able to get pregnant by your true mate, you may need to consider contraceptives. And we need to understand how the ability works. Vampires are not meant to bare children and your reproductive system is not prepared to house a baby. We need to know how safe this is and until we do know, I need to press on the two of you the importance of being careful." Alice and Jasper nodded. Bella stood there awkwardly, no doubt a little uncomfortable as a virgin discussing her sex life with five other people.
"Do you think it could be unsafe for them Carlisle?" Jasper asked protectively. He moved between Alice and Bella, clearly concerned for his wife and niece.
"Well I am unsure. I have heard of women giving birth to immortal children…and the mother almost never survives. They are usually ripped open by the children during the birth." Esme gasped and Jasper pulled Alice close and held Bella's hand paternally. Bella looked horrified I was focused on her. I couldn't lose her.
"But there has to be a way if it is a 'gift' Carlisle, don't you think?" Esme asked softly. I nodded looking to him and he looked thoughtful.
"If there is something I will find it. Until then girls, be safe?" Alice nodded and Bella laughed.
"Noo worries here." Carlisle smiled, almost like a proud father and retired to his study, no doubt to start his research. Esme approached Alice and put her hands on her stomach.
"Just think Alice…if this goes well you could have a little baby in there!" Alice beamed and nodded. Bella smiled and went to look out the window at the night sky. I watched her, unsure of what to say. How could I reopen the huge shift our relationship took with that kiss without making things awkward? How could I find out if she was truly my Bella?
I felt eyes on me and I turned to see Jasper watching me. He must have felt my despair because he nodded knowingly. My life would be officially complete if Bella was my true mate…if I could give her children… I shook my head of those thoughts. Right now I wanted to be there for her so I stood and went over to stand beside her.
"I feel like this is a moment that you share with your mom, you know? You tell her the big details…" I looked down to her as a tear fell down her cheek.
"She emailed me yesterday and I just couldn't reply. What can I say? If she gets told I died…I can't be replying to her now. But how can I be responsible for my mom being told that I died?" I put my arm around her shoulders and pulled her close.
"I just don't know how I could tell her about all of this. How can I explain to her that her only daughter is now an immortal, supernatural being?" I could hear the others go silent and heard someone approach us.
"Renee? You mean… my sister Renee?" We turned to see Alice a few feet from us looking hopeful. Bella nodded.
"I…I would love to meet my sister." I looked to Bella who looked confused.
"What are you saying Alice?" Alice grabbed Bella's hands, pulling her from me.
"I'm saying…I think you should tell your mom. I think she should come here and meet everyone." I looked at her surprised. I turned to Esme and Jasper who looked skeptical as well.
"But Alice…that may be too much I mean…I don't know how ok my mom and Phil will be about this whole thing." Bella told her hesitantly. Jasper nodded.
"Yea Alice maybe this is where we should draw the line. How can you be sure that will go well?" Alice shrugged.
"I don't know guys it's just a feeling. Look at where we are. Bella is a vampire; Charlie and Angela come here and are ok with the whole thing… Bella and I can have kids?! Why can't this be ok too?" I looked down to Bella who looked back up to me as if asking my opinion. I smiled to her.
"Well Bella that's your call." She nodded and turned back to Alice.
"I'll talk to my dad about it tomorrow?" Alice squealed and hugged Bella as a few tears fell.
"Ahhh! I love crying!" We all laughed, she always manages to lighten the mood.
Bella POV
I was currently getting ready to call my mom. I had spoken to my dad about it today when he came to see me on his day off. He was skeptical about telling my mom too but we both knew this was a lot easier than having to tell my mom that her only child had died in a brutal animal attack. My nerves were in overdrive as I listened to the phone ring…I could feel epilepsy symptoms that never took full form in my behaviour. I could feel my insides quivering but I was steady as a rock. I could also feel my thoughts jumble and knew that if I wasn't a vampire I would be stuttering from the stress. I liked not having those tells though. I enjoyed not being so breakable.
"Hello?" I heard Phil answer and I cleared my throat out of habit, unsure if my voice would fail me.
"Hey Phil, it's Bella. Is my mom there?" He was hesitant on the other end, probably because of my more perfected voice.
"Uh…yea hey Bella, she is just pulling into the driveway. How have you been? Still feelin' 100%?" After my accident with the nomads and in the woods my mom was a wreck. The only way we could convince her to not come here with the chaotic mess our lives were was by promising that when I was well enough to travel and I would come to Phoenix and see her. I also let her know I was staying with friends whose dad was a doctor, which eased her mind a lot.
"Oh you know…healthy as a horse. What about you?" He chuckled.
"Sound like your dad. Things here have been good, your mom has been complaining that you need to come for a visit." I laughed when I could hear my mom come in the door.
"Is that Bella?! Let me talk to her! Don't pick on me!" Phil chuckled and said goodbye as he gave the phone to my less than patient mother.
"Bella? Baby, how are you! You didn't respond to my email I was worried." I smiled and shook my head.
"Yea, you always did know how to worry mom. Everything is great just wanted to call and check in."
"I miss you Bella…when are you coming to visit me?" I looked nervously at my hands.
"Well mom, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, I-" but she cut me off before I could continue.
"Hey now, no. You promised Isabella!" I could hear Jasper laughing as he sat on the couch beside me reading a book. I smiled and continued.
"Mom I'm not calling to cancel, just relax. I wanted to ask if you and Phil wanted to spend a bit of time here instead? I'm doing really well I just don't know how much I want to travel. And I would love for you to meet the Cullen's who took care of dad and I. You could come here and stay for a few days or a week…whatever you guys wanted." I could practically hear the excitement on the other end of the phone.
"Baby that's an amazing idea! When works for you? I mean you have school but we could work around that and…wait a minute. Bella it's 11am on a Thursday. Why aren't you in school?" I looked to Jasper and he looked to me stunned. I didn't think that through. I sighed.
"Well mom that is something I wanted to talk to you about when you got here…I have some news for you." I heard her demeanor change.
"Isabella Swan. Don't you dare tell me you're pregnant? I have told you that you need to be careful! Something like that changes your whole life!" I couldn't contain my laughter.
"Mom! No…I'm not pregnant. I do have news but it's nothing like that I promise." I could hear her relax, though I knew she was still on edge.
"Bella…are you ok? You sound…different." I sighed.
"I'm alright mom, I promise. I think I should just explain when you come here. But please don't worry ok? I've never been better." She wasn't convinced, but I knew she would be able to wait.
"Well, alright then. What if we came on Sunday? Phil has a week's holidays and we can come there and book a return flight when we are ready." I smiled.
"That sounds great mom. You can even stay here at the Cullen's house. They have plenty of guest rooms and have said it's no problem."
"Is that where you're staying Bella?" I realized my slip in saying 'stay here'. I rubbed the bridge of my nose.
"Umm.. yea. I am. Dad and I are getting along great, he actually comes here almost daily it's just…complicated. I have to ask that when you come here you don't tell anyone here that you are coming. And don't listen to anyone if they act like I'm not alright." My mom went quiet on the other end.
"Bella what is going on." She asked me determined.
"Mom…I know this isn't fair and that this is a lot to ask of you. But I promise you…everything is ok and I can't wait to see you. We are going to have an amazing time once you get here. Just please…trust me?" I waited a few moments to let my mom collect her thoughts.
"Alright Bella, but you'd better explain Sunday." I nodded.
"I will I promise. I love you mom…let me know what time your flight should be here and someone will pick you up from the airport in Seattle alright?" She agreed and we said our goodbyes. I took a deep breath and turned to Jasper, who was staring back at me. We sat in silence for a few minutes until he started to chuckle.
"So…Isabella." I nudged him and shook my head.
"Hey! My mom is the only one that can call me that!" He chuckled and tossed an arm around my shoulders, pulling me in for a hug.
"It will be alright Bella. I promise. We will get through this." I nodded and closed my eyes, just enjoying my uncle's comforting embrace.
HEY GUYS! I hope you enjoyed that chapter, it's a bit longer. I know it's not very action packed but I need a few filler chapters to keep the story progressing. Let me know what you think!
R&R!
Song: All I Ever Wanted – Brian Melo