Chapter 9: Wanted Weakness
Time seemed to have stood still or slowed down as Natasha simply stared into the dominative and enveloping green eyes that stood before her. Natasha's entire mind had been consumed and fuzzed by the shade of emerald green like white noise and her consciousness was only breaking through at a delayed moment. Time changed back to normal speed which played out the moment of Loki suddenly holding his scepter up and trapping Natasha against the wall in a diagonal hold. Her hand had banged against the wall allowing the flaccidly held gun to fall from her grip. She only looked back again to see Loki's face inches away from hers while pressing down on the scepter. "And you're definitely not going anywhere. After all, you also desire not to"
Natasha's mind and body felt the rush of thoughts and spasm trying to coordinate together and respond to what the demi god before her was doing. She had only summoned enough control to bring her arms up to try and grab then push away the scepter on him. The struggle brought the conflict of strength in Natasha through corporal and mental ways with the mere closeness of Loki and his entire being virtually pressed against her body. It was even worst that his form towered over hers which provided the extra strength of trapping her by the scepter.
Loki could see – better yet – he could feel the fear and chaos bleeding out of Natasha. Her effort to push him away couldn't be organized effectively as she held a firm grasp on the scepter but wasn't forceful enough. She was squirming more so than fighting. He was growing tired from enjoying the state he'd diminish her to but Loki wanted the true Black Widow. Her real reputation and prestige as a warrior that had been painted by Barton. Or was it really the sentiment that clouded the archer's perception on the proclaimed super spy that was cowering before him while trapped in his hold? The slight doubt of Natasha's true capabilities moderated his force on the scepter trapping her which resulted in the opportunity for Natasha to push away with her might. Loki almost stumbled backwards while snapping out of the analytic trance that his mind plunged into. The things that made his mind race and wonder about Natasha. She had inhaled a shaky breath as she tried to think fast of what to do next or use against him. Run? No, it was too obvious and a cowardly resort of action. Use the gun or call for help? She used those as threats and a source of security but she had used those of the former encounters one too many times. It was becoming predictable. The only available option was to fight. Then why was she not taking the initiative? Why was she almost afraid or stuck in position to allow Loki every chance of getting the better of the situation? What is wrong with me?
He stared at Natasha still leaning against the wall. No amount of darkness could hide the presumed petrified expression on her face. Was this really how she was? Was it as far as she would go? Loki could feel himself deflate in disappointment for the lack of sought reaction or power to come from her. This wasn't the sort of weakness he wanted from her. It seemed decided: his agenda with the woman before him was a lost cause. Was it really a delusion that crossed his mind or a hazy lie that was formed to create the false identity of the infamous Black Widow? Was she like any other Midgardian? Loki felt nothing more than pathetic regret and confusion at trying to recall why he found interest in Natasha in the first place. Fixating his interest on her because of her complexion was rather shallow minded so it couldn't possibly be about that. It was something that ran deeper and it was hidden within a truth that had to be found. A truth that had to be unleashed but it appeared most unlikely if Natasha was eternally going to remain like this. Loki took the final moment to solidify the deeming of this lost cause.
Natasha watched Loki step closer after a prolonged pause that he took. Her breath was hitched in her throat and her heartbeat raced faster. Loki raised his scepter and was targeting it towards her chest. He deemed Natasha herself as an individual to be a lost cause but her service could be extraordinary if he were to control her instead. She couldn't hold her own so it looked logical for Loki to apply his own control over her. It only registered in Natasha's mind of the scepter's potential ability. She had seen the recovered footage of what happened in the old SHIELD headquarters and how Clint was taken away from her and the team. That little sharp point of the scepter transferred a controlling agent of power or magic that would land the minds of the victims in Loki's hands. The moment had been slowed down as she took the realization into account. It was heading towards her chest and the only outcome that was on the demigod's mind was one that she wasn't going to be subjected to. Something had clicked with the rising anger within her. Knowing this was the way that Clint became a prisoner and that this would be the ultimate loss of strength and control against the enemy did something to her.
The adrenaline mixed with desperation and determination created the dangerous cocktail within Natasha. It only drew the appropriate action which finally brought her mind and body together. She had grabbed the scepter whipping it away as her fist swung towards Loki's face. There could be a sound made out of a distinct crunch upon impact. That little crack of a bone unlocked it for her and also Loki.
He was ready for Natasha's true self knowing for sure that he had cracked her like a code. Almost that of a labyrinth but not complex enough to remain enigmatic. Natasha took the liberty of Loki's fleeting moment of recovery to flex her fist. Perfect clarity was filling her mind. She adopted the mentality of seeing him none other than an enemy who needed the beating down. Natasha took a deep breath in allowing the sides of her mouth quirk up in this breakthrough moment. It was the breakthrough moment that they both needed.
Loki held it proud of being the god of mischief. He had learnt the ways of observing upon how people act and twisting those actions to his advantage. Manipulation was an incredible tactic of his and he knew well enough that it was the same for Natasha. All ordinary people could easily be cracked or turned into a puppet in an instant. Take the fair example of his idiotic and naïve brother particularly during the times of their childhood. But even then, his manipulating skills weren't that vicious at the time. They wouldn't have had to be if it weren't for the biggest revelation that ended up turning his entire life upside down. Loki had been a puppet to his own life. His life cracked by itself like a code or more so, shattered like a mirror. His own alter persona of proclaimed "innocence" was long gone.
The deep train of thought was hidden by the temporary moment he took of physically shaking off the hit he had received from Natasha. She was still in a fighting stance getting ready to attack. Loki recollected himself mentally before adding the perfect tease. "Shall we have this dance?" Following by his dream that he had involving her, it was only fitting to be used for what was surely to occur. The true unraveling of the Black Widow before him which fired up the thrill inside him.
Natasha only then ran towards Loki to which he foresaw her oncoming fist. He had dodged while stepping to the side and catching her arm to propel her forward. She landed on the ground only to jump back up. Loki had retrieved his scepter while in a low bending position and caught gaze with Natasha. Nothing had to be said through the exchange of burning urge to push each other down. More like pulling each other down into the depths of an unending chasm. No one wanted to be put into defeat so it was most likely that they would rather be defeated together. This was only the beginning though. The outcome they hoped for of equal defeat or defeat more so on the other would have to be told through time. Yet, the time was now and it was now for the perfect confrontation. Loki had snapped back up and was directing his scepter towards Natasha again but he wasn't going the full distance since only this threat drew a reaction from her. He almost stabbed the air while giving Natasha the perfect time window to dodge and attempt to throw another fist. As soon as she swung, he had caught her fist in his hand and pulled her in towards him. Natasha could only make sense of their touching bodies and his tight smirk before he snapped his fingers and felt them elevating from the floor in a rapid blue spiral.
Within a rapid moment, Natasha stumbled back onto proper steady ground from the rush of spinning transportation thanks to Loki. She felt the wind rush by and clearly saw the night sky along with the shadowy silhouettes of military cargo marked with SHIELD's logo. It wasn't that much of a far distance to teleport to but this seemed to be the perfect space for a battle. The rooftop of the helicarrier was spacious and peaceful enough for the ultimate fight.
"Feeling off balance are we?" It was the first thing to break the conversational silence between them and Loki knew verbal action would add to the provoking and further development of Natasha's currently appreciated state. His malicious grin was based on the proud achievement of finally unlocking her. Natasha had turned everything around just at the moment he thought he was going to give up on her. She gave the reason and captivated his interest once more. This was what could be defined as beautiful. The inner fire and conflict that only now lit up in its full heat and flame drew him in and it didn't matter if he was to be burned.
Natasha's head tilted sideways while the corner of her lips was tugged upwards in amusement. "Quite the opposite actually". She straightened her head and her position to leap again into striking. They were circling each other ready for another moment of action. Natasha continued "Special thanks to you"
The scepter was being twisted in Loki's hand before it steadied while he raised an eyebrow. "Does my hearing deceive me? An acknowledgement of gratitude…for the assistance of one's self enlightenment?" Natasha appeared to be rather confident in a startling escalating rate. Was the fear immediately removed in a flash? Loki found it unbelievable at this present time for her change. Yet, it was for the better. This was what he wanted.
She had shaken her head in response. "Not exactly the friendly kind of gratitude. It's just the thank you for the chance that I'll be giving you a run for your money. The chance that might make you leave me alone". Just as she finished her sentence, she had made the first attack. In one stride, Natasha sent her fist forward along with her leg to follow the sequence. Loki only evaded and used his scepter to deflect her leg and push it back down.
"Of course…it'd be foolish to assume your appreciation of my company or actions existed. Yet, I'd ask if you could learn to show the slightest of it to equal mine. You must know how dull it is for our one-sided exchanges from time to time. Best to make it more exciting Natasha". Loki went in for a chance of a hit. He sped forward to grab at her arm but Natasha spun to the side and missed his clasp. He stretched his scepter past her arm and it made contact with her forearm ripping through the material and leaving a cut on her skin. Loki pulled back his scepter noticing the blood on the sharp tip. Natasha rubbed the place on her arm that held the cut. Wasn't exactly the best move from the demigod but Loki was trying his best to bring out the power in Natasha through every little or big exploit of aggravation.
The two of them were still moving to each side. Natasha exhaled calmly without the burden of apprehension. "Maybe if you cooled off with…your interest and appreciation of me then it'd be fine and equal".
"May I ask what you're implying?" Loki's tongue played against his teeth with the idea being brought in by Natasha. She was addressing his attention towards her and it almost seemed to be calling out on a context beyond the reason of their current situation. It was a complex reason and context that connected and it was one that Loki couldn't quite put his finger on. He questioned the thought of an involvement with Natasha being based on corporal attraction. Loki was attracted enough to Natasha's own intricate persona and mind that physicality could come in as a bonus factor. It was simply the thought being concocted by Natasha created the mischief in his awareness.
The annoyance had sunk back into Natasha but this time, she was going to go all out on shutting up Loki and his evil tongue. No holds were barred. She could feel her complete form ready to bring him down and it was to be done so in a valiant manner. Natasha sighed in exasperation in reply. "You know exactly what I'm talking about. You're just stalling for your own entertainment and I have to say, it's getting overused and pitiful now. Time for some originality Loki". She lunged again using the familiar order of attack combos. Loki only avoided most sent punches and kicks or endured the rest.
The impact of her assaults was tying him down to reality making sure he didn't get lost in the satisfaction of seeing Natasha disclose her proper self. This had been a notable experience with her and it was difficult to explain precisely why. Loki wasn't one to normally settle for the answer "because it just was" since he depended on much logic and complete knowledge when it came to the unknown. He never wanted to be deprived of knowing a solution yet this one unique matter of Natasha left him without some clarifications. It just so happened that he desired nothing more than to experience her presence. Loki had to admit he found himself almost enjoying the moments he spent with Natasha. Of all members or individuals of the mortal race, he found himself crossing paths with her. Again, he particularly appreciated the unfolding and observing of her. Natasha wasn't any of the ordinary. She truly was special. She was special to the extent of Loki not caring whether even the universe or other beings created and molded her to be distinctive or if it were only him that was deeming her the exception amongst mortals. Even if Natasha truly despised him, he was certain of their connection. A connection that just might overrule anything else. Right now, this battle was only the start.
Time couldn't be tracked when all that mattered was the crowning of conquest upon the other. Natasha simply wanted Loki to receive the appropriate beating to knock the constant complacency out of him. Meanwhile, Loki wanted to solve a form of weakness through this transformed and different Natasha. Again, the manipulation and personality deducing skills proved a helping hand for him. All he had to do was keep up the physical act of keeping Natasha up and moving and analyzing her every emotion and possible thought as her equally quick tongue would come back with a harsh or smart statement. She was particularly determined to find his purpose with her. She continued to badger on with questions of her brief health deterioration and the mind infiltration that he achieved. Loki kept the façade of acting in surprise but he truly didn't understand his reason of her as an objective in his agenda. He was caught in the tangle of admiration for this bitter and stronger Natasha. Who the Black Widow truly was. The exhibited admiration had sometimes tripped him up allowing Natasha the chance of a good strike. One in particular had clashed with his jaw to which Loki stood facing the side.
He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand which came away with a light smear of blood. The punch had been packed with a bigger force which only expressed her increasing frustration to his diversion of answers for her questions. The corner of his mouth quirked up to form the slightest grin. "Patience is a virtue Natasha"
She was already set in a sturdy fighting position a few feet away. She had broken out a brief swear but she didn't feel the slightest of fatigue "And you're the one for virtues aren't you?"
Only then as Loki begun to stand up, his mouth entirely spread to a grin. "How you amuse me. It is a supposed specialty of yours I would assume. Then again, it isn't that hard to make the most of amusing moments. It either involves sheer cleverness or foolishness"
Natasha ran towards him attempting to strike with her foot "Which one would I fall under?"
"Both"
It seemed like a perpetuity of parry upon parry and punch combos after combos. Much like the figurative dance that Loki defined this interaction to be, the two of them never missed a beat or a step following close after each other to land a hit or evade. The choreography of each inflicted swing along with a jerk movement to the side was in perfect unison between the two of them. The product of the directed actions was always the clash and merge of their bodies often meeting half way from grabbing each other's limbs and pulling in with much strength. Natasha spared a moment of content realization to the fact that she was no longer intimidated by the moments of where she'd meet in close proximity of Loki. It was basically the main way to land some sort of physical impact. She was beyond loss of knowing whether it was Loki who continued to pull them in together or even if Natasha herself was committing to the act by roughly yanking in the demigod.
Now, they had pulled apart keeping a short distance from each other but taking the opportunity to catch a moment of pause. Loki and Natasha were both breathing heavily. She had just finished another successful hit that landed on Loki's neck. He had one knee on the ground assuming a crouching position and looking up to Natasha. She for once had the complete upper hand as Loki's fatigue was being exposed. Some bruises had developed already on his delicate and sharply defined face which added the slightest bit of appeal. Loki's smirk would only be wiped away for a tenth of a second before returning to a wider extent upon his face. It was an understatement to say that Loki was enjoying this. He let the slightest confession in his mind reveal that he did underestimate Natasha for the full power she could reach to.
She wasn't going to back down even if she now could feel the soreness of spots on body that had made focused impact of a hit. Natasha returned to fighting position as Loki stood up again broadening his shoulders to match her ferocity. This could go non-stop but they both wanted an end to this yet neither was willing to yield. Or more so, neither wished to yield on the bouts of definitive weakness. Loki wanted a loophole through this battle to settle the submission of Natasha without forfeiting this match on physical grounds. It had grown repetitive and tiresome and he wanted out and even though she didn't want to admit it, surely Natasha thought the same.
They raced towards each other landing a close hit and parry. The close proximity remained as each of their limbs blocked the others. They grunted as they kept pushing offense on defense before attempting to switch limb of attack. Loki and Natasha were soon tangled from matching punch to block. They were holding onto each other from varying degrees daring the other to move their position to allow the other to get an upper hand. It had reached an impasse as both wished to move but didn't with the risk of losing a controlled hand. The proximity between them was incredibly close it couldn't even be defined as distance. They simply glowered down at each other straight in the eyes. Not much was to be expressed except for the desire of the other giving up. They were both too headstrong to back down now.
Loki was still wishing for that loophole to appear but the irritation and fire got to him. He knew clearly of Natasha' strength that was at full adjust no doubt or even then, it was only near the highest of power she could reach. His certain attention of her was being defined by this very fight. It left an ache in his mind of the still empty clarity of why he was still here at this time with her instead of tending his own business and mission. Were matters still based upon infiltrating the opposition through her? It obviously had been developed to bigger and deeper extents rather than just using her to get through to the team of other proclaimed heroes. Then what was it!? The ache in his head caused him a blurred and spontaneous moment. He performed one action that was at the very end of the lure that this battle of brawn and repartee provided. What could've served as life's biggest distraction other than the ultimate action concerning the assumed purpose of males and females?
Natasha had remained frozen leaving her in a defenseless state as Loki's face neared closer to hers in a rapid movement. It was light contact as he placed his pursed lips on hers. The sturdy grip of each other had slackened as their arms slipped into a weaker form. After a moment, both of their lips stayed in contact but had slightly opened as they exhaled colliding warm breaths which encouraged after that brief moment to rejoin again for a serious and real kiss with force. This kiss demanded for both lips to join together like puzzle pieces which meant for vigorous enveloping to occur as they kissed. The space that originally possessed the clash of their arms blocking each other had closed as Loki's own arms had fallen down towards Natasha's waist pulling her in slightly. Natasha's arms were resting against his chest and they remained limp during that moment. There was no thinking or processing whatsoever. It was one switch that had turned on only allowing the action of their lips remaining tightly connected along with a hold of each other that wasn't for the usual attack. The physical combat wasn't even circulating in their minds. It was simply the introduction of a new type of feeling. An intoxicating one which left the hunger for this passionate kiss. Only then, it seemed the kiss could've gone for an eternity before Loki realized what he had done. Reality had sunk back into his mind shattering the treacherous euphoria that they had lost themselves in. Loki pulled away almost pushing back Natasha as they both gasped retrieving the breath they didn't realize had been held during that pause. Loki couldn't bear to look at Natasha as the horror sunk in to the mistake he just committed. What is wrong with me? He turned around and rescued his scepter which had fallen to the ground earlier before and gripped it tightly as if to determine whether what had happened was real or not. He wished it could erase what had just occurred. Loki shook his head and didn't realize the shaky breaths that were travelling in and out of his body. He waved the scepter with haste before leaving the scene of the crime.
He had fled. Just like that. Natasha was still breathing heavily as her body began to shake rather violently. It could've been from the cool breeze that had picked up, the intense battle that had transpired a moment ago or simply that one particular pause in the battle could've ended up in something too close for comfort. Something that would've been a dangerous disaster if it passed what had been achieved. A temptingly beautiful disaster at the most. Natasha snapped herself out of the trance of reliving what had just happened and made her way to the entrance to the ship. She shakily raised a hand to her ear.
"This is Agent Romanoff…located on the helicarrier roof. Could anyone please allow clearance of entrance?"
No one responded as she continued walking up. Natasha reached the sliding door that was still tight shut and leaned against the outer frame. She had to admit that she received some quite powerful hits that would at the most only result in some bruises but nothing compares to that precarious moment of the two of them being so tangled up in resistance that it led to what could only be defined as the moment of stifling surrender to each other. If it had furthered, it could've resulted with her surrender to Loki but something had occurred to repel Loki. There was no mistaking the glint of distraught in his eyes as he backed away and escaped in a blue blaze. Yet, there was no denying the desire, the craving of seeing what was to follow suit of that moment. Well, Natasha unfortunately had to admit.
"I copy Agent Romanoff. Door should be open now". The response blared in her eye resulting in her flinching and being pulled out of that chasm in her mind. A chasm that had opened up or more so enlarged after this encounter. It made her border onto desperation of weakness or wanting to fall into that sweet oblivion. She took one last breath of the fresh air that still felt of the heat and ghost of this crucial event. Natasha stepped into the ship after hearing both sliding doors shut tight behind her. She headed down the hallway before running into Director Fury.
"I don't mean to be overly nosy but how were you able to access the roof without passing through the main entrance? Security had no recall of any agent exiting to the roof"
Natasha cleared her throat. "I was testing the air duct systems. Or more so figuring out if it led to specific locations as a security observation. I found it soon enough: it led to the roof. I apologize if any confusion has been brought forward. I should've gone after authorization before completing my minor mission". It was the only cover-up she could think of.
Director Fury only raised an eyebrow. "And I presume it was quite the workout. Hm?"
It was only when Natasha concentrated and raised her hand to her neck and cheeks that it felt incredibly hot. She must've had a tint of red on her face from the heavy action. It still was the repercussion of what had really happened on the roof. She simply nodded in response. Director Fury still seemed to be unconvinced and remained suspicious. He had the right to since Natasha herself believed she sounded overly shady but what she knew to be the truth was something too risky to reveal. "May I be dismissed sir?"
Fury paused before nodding. "You may. Rest up well Agent Romanoff. Next time I think we'll keep our eyes on you for when you might head up to the roof"
Natasha nodded in a respective way back before commencing her way down the hallway. She let out a breath of relief after another cover up of a lie that had to be let out. The people on this ship are supposed to be the good ones so why did it feel like she was betraying everyone by lying and not revealing the truth that the enemy was getting through to her. Natasha knew herself though. She held her cards close to her chest but she delivered in any circumstance anyway. She was on the side of the good people but it didn't necessarily mean she was one.
Yet, with the variable of Loki being brought in, Natasha could feel herself be tested to finding out if she can really identify her proper self. She thought she held her true self during that fight but it was close to being reverted to an anxious mess without focus like she had been earlier before. She did not want to return to that state in any circumstances. It was simply Loki all over again causing the great trouble. A kiss. It ran through her mind. That exact moment. A kiss. It was an understatement of it catching her off guard. Of all things he had to do, it was a kiss. Natasha shook her head clear. It wasn't right to think of such an incident or such a little gesture. A gesture she didn't want to dare find the meaning to. A gesture she questioned as to why she was so bothered about it. No, she was going to stop this escalating trouble no matter the cost.
A/N:
Welp, I am incredibly and infinitely sorry folks.
With a combination of writer's block and the disheartening of school (so much so it stopped me writing), there was only so much that could be done other than take a hiatus. I am sorry to have this story look like it was abandoned but I did honestly have trouble writing this part but I'm back on the horse and it was a long ride considering how many words this chapter is. Woo! Well, enjoy and I am deeply sorry to you guys. Please leave a review if you can. (Would be a nice welcome back for this story) and yea, Viva la Blackfrost!