Title: Sono Retsu Enkin: We All Fall Down
Rated: M
Category: Naruto
Genre: Adventure/Romance/Horror/Humor
Beta'd By: Nobody
Rated For: Blood Gore Violence Swearing
Pairing: Undecided
Summary: When the idiot is an insane genius in disguise, they cower in fear. They will see his greatness, whether it being there or elsewhere. Dark, Cannibalistic, Crazy Naruto YAOI
Heart-chan: The title translates to The Cold Distance. To me, the title is kind of crappy so if anyone else has a better title, please tell me. Also, for the pairings, only YAOI is allowed for Naruto. Don't spam me saying 'Oh! NaruHina is better! Yaoi is unnatural! Blah blah blah-' Yeah, I'm not listening to that crap. So if you have a problem with that, tough shit, you can leave. This is my first multi-chapter fic and my first fic at all so it may not be that good. Also, Naruto along with some other characters are cannibal so if you don't like that, leave. Read and Review please!
ALSO: I was going to put chapter two up on 3/19/11 but FanFicition is being a douche and not letting me publish anything. So yeah, sorry for the delay.
"You're an idiot." – Demon/Summon Talking
"No I'm not!" – Regular Talking
'Then what are you?' – Demon/Summon Thoughts
'I'm different and a little insane.' – Regular Thoughts
"What a laugh." – Naruto Talking To Kyuubi
~YaoiLemons~
Chapter 3: Insanity Three
He loved it–the way people turned to stare at him. With his hood up and the henge released from his body, nobody could recognize him unless you saw the three sets of red eyes peering out from inside his cloak. He enjoyed the fear radiating off them. It was absolutely wonderful to be the one intimidating people for once. Parents were lined outside the Academy, wishing their kids good luck–he snorted. Those weaklings would get as much luck as much as he would get love from the villagers–none. He cocked his head curiously–he always had good luck for some reason. He had tried his hand at poker, black jack, and many other gambling games and he seemed pretty good, only loosing occasionally. He grinned–sorry fuckers, Lady Luck's ace was not sharing at all. He pushed through the crowd of the newly graduated Genin and parents rudely. Most turned to curse and yell at him–they didn't get far as he silenced them with a glance from his slitted eyes. He continued into the building, getting curious and fearful looks and stares. He ignored them and walked into his classroom, all noise ceasing immediately. Eyes were drawn to him, trying to figure out who he was. He walked over to his seat next to Sasuke, who wasn't there yet–probably at home taking forever to fix his damn duck ass shaped hair. Yami, Shadou, and Kuroi stayed curled up in his cloak, hidden.
Whispers broke out among the group of students, none of them brave enough to get up and actually talk to him. That was fine–he was going to say it again; he was a motherfucking G, he could give two shits about those stupid fools.
Sasuke strolled in not long afterwards, looking like the emo king himself. He was decked in a dark red shirt, with simple black shinobi pants, the Dracula cape draped over his shoulders… damn he looked sexy–no, he was not drooling. Apparently the fangirls agreed with him, going on the fact that almost all the girls were either passed out with nosebleeds or raping the raven with their eyes–no wait, Sasuke smirked at them, they were unconscious. The Uchiha sat in his usual seat next to him, grinning at the blond.
"Enjoying the site, are we?" Sasuke taunted quietly. Naruto growled threateningly.
"I should cut your balls off for this." Kyuubi took that as his moment to butt in.
"Oh please, denial is not just a river in Africa, kit."
"You can shut it too, asshole."
"Oh what are you going to do, blondie? Drain me of my chakra? You can't do that without summoning me and if you haven't noticed, we're in a classroom full of kids." A vicious grin broke out on the tanned face as he imagined the worst thing he could.
"YOUTH!"
"Wait, what? OH KAMI WHY?"
"C'MON KYUUBI-SAN! THE GREEN SPANDEX IS A MANLY MUST-HAVE!"
"NARUTO, MAKE IT STOP!" Said blond started to chuckle lightly.
"Revenge, sweet, revenge."
"YOUTH AT FULL POWER, KYUUBI-SAN! YOU LOOK AMAZING!"
"NARUTO!"
"NOW FOR THE EYEBROWS!"
"AHHHHHH!"
With a satisfied smirk, he released the image from his head, hearing the shaky relieved sigh in his head. All attention was drawn from him and his evil cackling when the Genin heard the sound of a stampede heading towards the door. The door slammed open, leaving an imprint of the doorknob in the wall. Ino and Sakura forced their way through the doorway, tripping and falling to the floor, much to the class' amusement. The girls, however, were unaware of this fact as they started yelling at each other.
"I was here first, pig!"
"No you weren't forehead; my foot was in front of yours by a centimeter!"
"NO IT WASN'T!" Naruto grinded his teeth together in agitation–they ruined his mood. If these hussies didn't shut up…
"YES IT WAS!"
"YOU CHEATED!
"NO YOU DID!" He snapped. He stood up from his seat quickly, growling viciously at the two. Though apparently somebody beat him to it.
"If you two harpies don't shut up, I'm gonna rip your mouths off and shove them up your asses!" Kiba yelled at them, his partner barking and spitting in agreement. The two rounded on him, ready to give him a tongue lashing when they spotted the black clad blond settling back in the seat next to their Sasuke-kun. They had graduated, this was their time to shine and get Sasuke-kun to notice them! The two kunoichi turned away from the Inuzuka and opted to glare at the hooded half demon was his arms and legs crossed. They chose however to ignore him in favor of talking to said Uchiha of their disgusting wet dreams.
"Sasuke-kun is this seat taken?" the pinkette asked sickeningly sweetly. Naruto's eyebrow twitched–did they seriously just ignore him?
"Obviously you blind witches." he grumbled in retort, not let his friend answer–not that he was anyway.
Silence dominated for only a few seconds.
"Who are you and why are you sitting next to Sasuke-kun?" Ino demanded first–she was the president of the Sasuke Fanclub seeing as how Ami didn't graduate. The blond Jinchuuriki said nothing and proceeded to check his nail, scrapping the dirt and dried blood from under them.
"She was speaking to you!" Sakura snapped next–yep, the vice president. Silence.
"Hello!"
More silence. Sakura was about to reach for the blond's hood when Iruka dragged himself into the classroom in his pajamas, rubbing his eye with his left hand while holding a cup of Joe in his right. He yawned tiredly.
"This is the part where I'm suppose to giving you some stupid long ass inspirational speech but I'm too tired for so I'm gonna shorten it–you're Genin, you go on missions, if you fuck up, you'll most likely be raped up the ass for information then gutted and hung with your own intestines, the end. Now for the teams…" He started listing off the team names, oblivious to the shocked and afraid looks he got–being a ninja didn't truly mean that did it? "…Team 7, Uzumaki Naruto-"
"Iruka-sensei Naruto-baka is not here." Sakura pointed out. Iruka groaned–he didn't go through the trouble of getting dress because he wanted to be in and out of here, not to answer stupid questions.
"What are you talking about you blind bitch, he's right there." He then pointed to the cloaked blond who have the class a salute. "Anyway, Team 7, Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura." He was interrupted again by a loud excited yell. "Can you please just SHUT THE FUCK UP so I can go home and rest please?" he barked before sighing and rubbing his face in exasperation. "Team 8, Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata, and Aburame Shino. Team 9 is still in circulation… Team 10, Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, and Akamichi Chouji." He then turned and walked straight out the door, not even bothering to say good luck. Only minutes later did the senseis start coming into the room to retrieve their temporary students. The room emptied out to the point where only teams 7, 8, and 10 were left. To break the tense atmosphere, Sakura turned to Ino with a victorious grin.
"Ha Ino-pig, I got Sasuke-kun on my team and you didn't!" she said with excitement in her voice. "SHANNARO! TRUE LOVE PREVAILS!" Ino growled at her and let her head fall to the desk with a thump. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.
~YaoiLemons~
The Sandaime watched the blond with a calculating look. The boy was a wild card–from just how the blond carried himself around town, the fire shadow could just tell that he could care less if the village was burned to the ground. He didn't need to guess that the blond would happily take part if he wanted to. His eyes narrowed further–he needed to find something to tie the blond to the village. But the question was… what? 'Just you wait Naruto. I'll get you.'
~YaoiLemons~
Naruto vaguely noted that he and his teammates were the only ones left in the room. So that only meant one thing–Kakashi was going to be their sensei. It wasn't really hard to figure out. He had known the older man for years and it was hard not to hear some type of word of his reputation, both good and bad–the man was known for being late to almost everything. So with them still being there and having been for about–he glanced at the clock–an hour, it all clicked in place.
He looked over at his pink haired comrade… he didn't like that word. It made it seem like he was trying to care for these people. Ew, just ew. He glared at the door–that lazy ass needed to get there soon or things wouldn't be pretty.
"Ugh, where is he?" Sakura yelled to the air. Naruto was already at the end of his rope with waiting on the grey haired Jonin even though he was used to it and Sakura yelling and making his ears ring wasn't helping at all. So he snapped at her.
"If we knew, he would be here already. Now would you please just shut up until he finally does decide to show?" he grumbled with much agitation. Sakura openly gaped at him. This was not the Naruto she knew. The idiot that was supposed to be her teammate would never say anything to agitate her, let alone insult her. Her eyes narrowed at the blond.
'I know what he's doing. He's trying to act nonchalant like Sasuke-kun so I'll notice him.' she thought. "SHANNARO! THAT IDIOT HAS FAILED!" 'If that's the truth, then he's still the same weak baka as before.' With that thought in mind, she stood up from her chair and marched over to him, glaring viciously. He calmly pulled his hood down, to look at her, his black single ringed purple eyes staring at her blankly. "Look here idiot," she started, making him raise an eyebrow in question, "changing your clothes and trying to act badass is not going to get me to notice you. So just stop because you look stupid." She closed her eyes and crossed her arms in triumph, sure that she got to him and that the blond what ask what could he do to go on a date with her. What she didn't expect was for him to start laughing at her. "What's so funny, loser?"
"You honestly think that I like you? Little girl, that was nothing but a façade, a mask. I could give two shits about you, let alone dating you. You can go ahead and continue to chase after Sasu-chan, whatever happens but don't hope for either of us to catch you when you reality catches up with you and knocks you down, fool." he answered with a light giggle, amused with the whole issue. I'm mean, think about it–him? Dating that pink witch? Hell to the motherfucking no. That was just plain scary. He stretched and laid his head down on the table, his three Ninken curling around it like a pillow.
Sakura's left eye started twitching madly and she cocked her fist back, bringing it down on his blond head. However, before it could hit him, a pale hand caught her punch. She looked up to see Sasuke giving her a frightening glare. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." he said simply although his eyes said something else. Sakura backed away, returning to her seat, fighting back tears that wanted to spill–Sasuke preferred to protect that idiot over her? Her fists clenched in determination.
'I'll just have to try harder to get you. I won't give up Sasuke-kun! I'll make you mine!' she thought with a slight nod. A few minutes, the door opened and in Kakashi strolled in, taking in the fact that nobody actually cared–Sakura was staring determinedly at Sasuke who was watching in amusement at Naruto and his three Ninken who were playing in his hair.
"Yo." he called lamely, getting their attention. Naruto lifted his head, not even wincing as his partners hung from his hair. "My first impression… you guys are quiet. Anyway, I'll meet you on the roof in five." Before he could disappear, Naruto glared at him.
"You better be up there or you'll pay." he hissed. Kakashi eye smiled at him before dispersing into smoke.
"Sure thing, Naru-kun." A blond eyebrow twitched but Naruto made no other indication that he heard his possible sensei as he sunk quickly through the shadows of his chair. Sasuke only shook his head before he burst into a flock of ravens. Sakura stood and walked numbly to the door to the stairs, her thought elsewhere at the moment–she had planning to do.
~YaoiLemons~
She had came up with the first part of her plan on her short slow trek up the stairs–she would focus harder on her looks, decking herself out on the best clothes and scented with the best and most expensive perfumes tomorrow. No doubt that would get Sasuke to notice her. She sat down on the other side of the raven happily and with smile, happy with her idea–it would work, she knew it.
Kakashi smiled–well, smiled as much as he could with that damnable mask on his face–at his Genin. He was going to have fun with his job. "Okay, let's start with introductions. State your name and age along with your likes and dislikes, hobbies, and your dream." he chirped. Naruto was sitting on one side on Sasuke with Yami and Kuroi in his lap, Shadou having taken refuge on top of Sasuke's head while Sakura sat on the other side of him, trying to scoot closer to the raven.
"Why don't you go first, Cyclops?" Naruto said he successfully summoned a smaller, simpler version of his throne and sat in it–the thing was damn comfy. Don't question him. Kakashi ignored the poke at his appearance.
"Right, my name is Kakashi Hatake and I'm 22. I like plenty of things like my beloved book and I don't really dislike anything. I have many hobbies that I don't feel mentioning and I don't have a dream. You're up pinky." Sakura barely even twitched.
"My name is Sakura Haruno and I'm 13. I like… well the person I like…," she glanced over at Sasuke with a dreamy sigh, "is Sasuke-kun. I like to dance and sing and work out to stay fit." she added on to impress the Uchiha seated next to her. "My dream is to… uh, I don't have one."
"That's because you'll die before you can accomplish whatever dream of fucking Sasuke you may have." Naruto pointed out. Sakura growled at the blond and Kakashi raised an amused eyebrow.
"I'm assuming you dislike Naruto, no?"
"Yes." she said in a clipped tone.
"Mmhm… Okay Count Dracula, it's your turn."
"My name is Sasuke Uchiha and I am also 13. I like fighting and training. I dislike annoying fangirls," he glared at Sakura out the corner of his eye, "and weak opponents. My hobbies included training, fighting, and meditating. I don't have a dream, I have an ambition, because I will make it true, to kill a certain man." he ended darkly. Naruto was picking his teeth with a clawed finger, Kakashi was eye smiling knowingly at him, and Sakura was swooning–not the desired effect but it would do.
"Okay princess, you're last." Kakashi stated, loving the way the blond's eye twitched.
"Name's Naruto Uzumaki–don't fuck it up–and I'm 12. I like hunting, training, killing, and blood." He grinned slightly, his tongue poking outside his lips for a brief second. "I dislike most the people in this village, a certain scarecrow, and being bored. My hobbies are hunting, killing, and learning new jutsu. My goal–to become the strongest ninja in the world. I want people to fear my name while at the same thrive to kill me. It would make their death all the more enjoyable." At this, he grinned sadistically, the thought of a fight exciting him.
"Okay then kiddies. Meet me at training ground seven at 6 a.m. tomorrow for your first mission Any questions?" Sakura raised her hand.
"What is our mission going to be?" Kakashi eye brighten considerably with glee.
"Well, I'm glad you asked! For you first mission, for two hours, you'll be surviving in the forest with me! And it you'll have to fight me too!" he ended with full blown laughter. "Ne, ne, did you guys know that out of the 33 of you that graduated, only nine would become actually Genin? Isn't that hilarious?" The man burst into a new round of giggle and laughs. Naruto started to chuckle as well.
"You're right, Kakashi! That is funny. Because that means that every fucker who ever thought of degrading me has faced my wrath!" the boy mused.
"Alright then, remember, 6 o'clock. And a few words of advice–don't eat anything unless you want to throw up. Ja!" After Kakashi disappeared, Naruto dispersed his thrown and punched Sasuke in the arm.
"I'll see you later for training, Uchiha." he said as he lifted Shadou from the raven's head and jumped off the railing with his other two companions. Sasuke grunted before standing up and walking towards the stairs.
"Sasuke-kun!" He glanced back at the pink haired girl. She blushed. "Ano, would you like to go get dinner?"
"No, I have training to do."
"Oh." She looked around uncomfortably at the ground as Sasuke started to walk off. "Um, we can train together!" she yelled suddenly. Sasuke turned back to her.
"I don't think Naruto would like-" He stopped as sadistic smirk developed on his face. "I think you could use some work. Let's go." Sakura's face brightened up–Sasuke did care about her! She resisted the urge to grip the Uchiha's arm as they walked down the stairs. He suddenly grabbed her, pulling her into a one-armed hug and her face heated up.
"Sasuke, what-"
"Don't start thinking I like you. This is just so you don't find the location of our training grounds." With that, they burst into a flock of ravens.
~YaoiLemons~
Naruto pulled his hood back over his head as he tucked his Ninken back into his cloak as he walked down the street. A few of the villagers glared at him as they realized him from earlier. He, however, ignored them and started walking through the more crowded part of the village for window shopping. As he passed by the weapon shop, he saw something odd. It looked like a staff but very short one, only being about a foot long. He tried to will himself to keep moving but curiosity got the better of him and he walked into the store. He walked over to the staff and picked it up, examining it. There was nothing special about–the weight was average, it didn't have any type of marking on it–it was just a black leather staff like thing.
"Can I help you?" He whipped around to face the owner of the shop.
"Actually yeah, you can. What is this?" he asked, holding it in front of his face.
"I don't know kid. I just found it one day and decided to put it in the shop in case one of the ninja knew something about it." The man eyed him suspiciously. "Who are you? I haven't seen you around before." The blond tapped the metal plate of his hatai-ite, the leaf symbol reflecting in the light.
"I just graduated from the Academy."
"Take your hood off boy."
"Why?"
"I just want to see your face. I prefer to see my customers. And you and that creepy cloak are making me feel uncomfortable." With a growl, the blond yanked his hood off his head. The man grunted. "Oh, just you. Okay then, do you want that thing or not?" Naruto blinked twice before shrugging.
"Sure, I'll figure out what that thing does."
"Here, take it. I don't have use for it."
"Thanks man." Naruto said as he walked out the door. "If I ever get hungry, you'll be last on my list." he muttered as he left the shop, sinking into the shadows of the room. The store owner stepped back in amazement–he knew the ninja had weird jutsu but that was a new one.
~YaoiLemons~
Naruto arrived at the training grounds to see Sasuke going to the basic kata to his Taijutsu style. He looked over as he felt the other chakra signature in the field. He glared at the raven. "Why is she here?"
"To annoy you." Naruto sighed–no matter how scary he tried to be, Sasuke was always an asshole.
The blond stalked over to a tree, removing his cloak, his Ninken jumping down. "Alright guys, it's the same as usual; go to the shadows and try to make a perfect sphere of darkness around you."
"Hai!" He sat down on the ground, observing the leather staff again as Kyuubi appeared beside him, arriving from the seal.
"What do you think it does?"
"If I knew that, I wouldn't be sitting here trying to figure it out."
"Well geez, no need to get all defensive." Naruto ignored the demon and started to look around at the thing again. Closing his eyes, he started prodding with his chakra at the staff. What he found surprised him–residue from Jaakai's chakra. He was about to tell his tenant what he discovered when he felt weak and slumped over. He was suddenly pulled into a memory like thought.
There a man standing in a clearing surround by plenty of mean looking, weapon wielding men. From what he could observe, in the solo man's hand was Jaakai though he looked much more menacing than he did now. In the man's other hand was a whip. As if a signal was made, the large group jumped the man. With grace that shouldn't have been available to a man wielding that big of a sword, he swung the blade in a big circle, leaving him open. Using the whip, he disabled and killed the others who tried to attack him through his obvious opening. The whip suddenly extended, killing many other men as it straightened out, piercing them in vital parts of their bodies.
The purple eyes slowly opened. Slitted red eyes were the first thing he saw and he grumpily pushed the demon lord away. "So, what the hell was that all about? You just blanked out."
"I don't know, but there's something special about this thing." Naruto said, holding up the staff. "I found some of Jaakai's chakra in it and after I found I pulled into this… thing so I'm guessing they have something to do with each other." Kyuubi blinked before shrugging. "Are you going to teach me anymore of the demon arts?"
"Can't; you're only part half demon so you don't have the right chakra to do it. The yokai in your body is still mixed with your human chakra so that wouldn't work either."
"So can't you just change me? And how the hell am I part half demon? Doesn't that just basically mean I'm one-fourth a demon then?"
"Nope. I need to have a reason or it'll kill you. And sure."
"Reason as in?"
"You'll know if the time ever comes. Plus the process is very tiring and long so I couldn't do it now. The only thing I could teach you is some of the basic step of the Kitsune no Hi Odori, the Fox Flame Dance, since you got the flame part done. This part is quiet similar to the Tailed Beast Bomb. Only difference is that it's apart of a style so you wouldn't have to use my chakra to do it. But seeing as you're still fully human, yours will only be half as powerful." Naruto sighed and removed his crown, cloak, and sheath from his body, laying them all against the tree before standing.
"Okay. Let's get started."
~YaoiLemons~
Heart-chan: Yep so that the end of this chapter. Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up soon. Remember, vote on the poll please! Ja!
Review Replies
silverxshadow: It's pretty interesting. Can't wait to see what happens to Sakura. Oh! Could you make Naruto be even crazier? You know, going off on random tangents. Cause some things can be creepier than threatening to eat someone.
*rubs the back of her head sheepishly* Thanks for the review. Um, unfortunately, I don't really know any ways to make Naruto any crazier than he is so if you could give me some examples…? (Is a noob.)