Disclaimer: I don't own anything affiliated with ER or NBC.

Up in the OR Peter and Elizabeth were working to save Lucy. Not since Gant had Peter been so shaken up, that his performance could possibly be affected. But he had to put his emotions aside and do his job, he didn't need any clouded judgment. The surgery continued with an eerie silence. The only sounds that could be heard, was Peter or Elizabeth asking for instruments and the beeps of Lucy's heart monitor that they were so desperate to keep beeping.
Back down in the ER, much to the relief of everybody it became a busy night. The busier it was, the fast time would go, and the sooner they would know what was going to happen to Lucy. Jerry had to take down all the decorations, it was no longer a celebration, nor would it be in the future, at the ER at least.
Carter didn't know what to do. He couldn't go home. He couldn't sit in the waiting room. He couldn't sit in the lounge. He needed to be doing something, he like everybody else needed to keep his mind off and as far away from Lucy as possible. He determined what he needed was a long walk. He needed to get out of the hospital, away from it all, out of sight out of mind so to say. He went to his locker and got his coat and headed out in to the cold.
As Carter walked he wasn't sure what he should be thinking. Should he be thinking of all the good times that he and Lucy had shared? If that was the case, none were coming to mind. He couldn't even really replay the day in his head. The last full memory he had was Dave, standing there in front of him, crying and covered in Lucy's blood. A sight that would never be shaken from his memory, he just had to keep walking and walking. That is when he came across the Tiki Lounge…maybe that is what he needed to forget…

A few hours later back at County, Peter and Elizabeth were standing at Lucy's bed. She had made it through surgery with little complications. Thank goodness. With time, she would wake up. Physically she was going to make it, but mentally, that was whole another ball park.

Elizabeth: "Have you talked to Dr. Carter? How is he taking all of this?

Peter: *sighing* "To tell you the truth I really don't know, I spoke to him right before she went under, and he was a mess. He didn't know what happened or how it happened. I think it's going to be a long road for him too…

Elizabeth: Well I guess we should go inform everybody that she made it through surgery. You can take the ER and I'll talk to Romano, I think this is affecting him pretty bad too.

Peter nodded and walked out. Elizabeth then took Lucy's hand in hers, squeezed it. She thought to herself how thankful she was that Lucy made it thought the surgery, she wasn't sure how everybody would have reacted if one of their own had died on duty. She only hopped that Carter was going to be okay, she felt there was a lot more to the story that she knew, how was this young girl left alone as long as she was, lying there bleeding on the floor. She quickly shock the horrific thoughts out of her head, put down Lucy's hand and walked down the hall to Romano's office…

Meanwhile back down in the ER Peter was looking for Dr. Greene and Dr. Weaver to inform them of Lucy's condition, he felt that they should be the ones to inform the staff, he didn't want to have to repeat the story over and over again, and he was already emotional spent for the day.

He asked Kerry and Mark to meet him in the lounge to discuss it. They sat at table in the lounge.

As Peter was explaining her condition, Dr. John Carter stumbled in the lounge and over to his locker. He put his combination in, after a few tries his locker opened and he got out his lab coat and tried to put it on but failed.

Peter, Kerry and Mark stared in disbelief. Finally Peter spoke.

Peter: Carter, have you been drinking?

Carter looked up at them, stumbled and giggled a little.

Carter: Look man I only had one, not that big of a deal.

Mark: Carter you have obviously had more than one, you are drunk and I can't let you work. Luckily the ER isn't very busy, you need to lie down and sober up.

Carter: NO! I HAVE TO WORK! I have too!

Mark: Carter. No. No you can't. You are drunk, you can't even walk, I will not let you see patients.

Carter: Well then I am going home. If you won't let me work, I will go home.

He went back to his locker and tried to open it. But failed. He then placed his head on his locker and took a deep breath.

Peter got up and walked over to him. Placed his and on Carter's back and spoke. "She made it through surgery. Carter we are pretty sure she is going to pull through this. The best thing you can do right now is sober up. When you have done so, you can go visit her. She might be awake by then."

Carter nodded and headed to an Exam room to sleep whatever he drank off. He hoped he would pass out fast and also hoped it would be a deep sleep. As he walked down the hallway of the ER, all eyes seemed to be on him. What else did he really expect from his place? As he went into an empty exam room, he heard someone behind him. It was Abby.

Abby: Dr. Carter are you okay?

Carter looked up at Abby.

Carter : I'm drunk.

Abby: That doesn't really answer my question. Are you okay?

Carter: No, no I'm not. I'm better off than Lucy though, and that is all that matters.

Carter lay down on the bed. Abby went over the cabinet and got out and IV.

Abby: Carter, you can't blame yourself, you didn't know what was going on.

Abby stuck the IV in his arm.

Carter looked at her with a look of thanks.

Carter: I wasn't doing my job. I was talking to you, I shouldn't have been up there with you, I shouldn't have been ignoring my student, I shouldn't have been doing Dave's job. Romano is right, because I wasn't doing my job, Lucy might have to pay with her life.

Abby: Carter you didn't think the ramifications could be this extreme; you have to stop blaming yourself.

Carter: But there are rules for a reason, and now I know this more than ever.

As all of these thoughts came back to Carter he began to become upset again. He sat up and pulled a flask out of his pocket. Abby saw this and grabbed it from Carter.

Abby: Carter you are just going to make this worse if you drink more. You have to sober up and deal with reality. A drunken reality is a lot worse, you think everything is going to end, your emotions are greater. Just go to sleep.

Carter tried to grab it out of Abby's hand but Abby wouldn't let him. She pushed slightly on his upper body so he would fall back on to the bed. As she did this Carter grabbed Abby's back and pulled her toward him and brought her in for a kiss.

Abby couldn't believe what was going on, though she felt that she should humor him. He needed some type of attention/affection. The kiss became more intense, so Abby pulled away. When she did, Carter just nodded and fell asleep.

A few hours later Romano made is way downstairs to the ER. Lucy had woken up and he was much relived. Although he felt that John Carter didn't need to know this little bit of information. So help him, he would not let another incident like this happen again. He was going to teach Carter a lesson, it would be tough, but it needed to be learned and Carter had to be the example for the rest of the ER.

Of course he had already heard about Carter's drunken incident. He knew that he should be angrier, but also understood the stress that Carter was under. But he defiantly would not let Carter, Kerry or the ER know his true feelings. He would have to put on one of his great acts.

Romano made his way to the exam room Carter was sleeping in. Walked in, turned the lights on and screamed "Dr. Carter" at the top of his lungs.

Carter set up with a jolt. His head pounded. He looked at Romano. Eyes squinted.

Carter: "Lucy...is she…"

Romano: "Suddenly you care about Miss. Knight? You care if she is alive? YOU CARE IF SHE HAS AWOKEN FROM HER COMA OR NOT?? YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT YOUR DURNK ASS CARES!"

Carter looked away.

Romano: Get up! Get out of bed right now!

Carter did as he was told.

Romano: Come with me, you need to see the extent of your irresponsibility.

Once again Carter did what he was told. The elevator ride was once again quiet and awkward. Once they got to the ICU, Romano took Carter to Lucy's room.

Carter sat down next to Lucy. He looked at her. She looked so helpless; Carter really didn't know how to react. So he took Lucy's hand in his, but his head down on the bed and wept while repeating over and over again.
"I'm so sorry Lucy, I'm so sorry".

Romano knew that his job was done, at least at this point. Patted Carter on the back, and spoke.

"Take all the time you need"

And with that he walked out leaving Carter and Lucy alone.

TBC

Sorry it took so long with the update guys…school has been killing me hardcore. I'll try to update soon though!