Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Gene Roddenberry. The new universe belongs to J.J. Abrams and Paramount.
A/N: Sorry it took so long. Writer's block sucks. Thanks to all the people who reviewed!
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Chapter 6: Secrets
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The Next Morning
Kirk was expecting to meet with Khan over breakfast, per usual. So he was mildly surprised to find that a guest was joining them for breakfast. The young woman was one of Khan's people. Kirk hoped that Khan hadn't managed to offend her.
"I hope you don't mind Alice joining us, Jim?" Khan's silky voice asked.
"No, of course not," he said, grinning at the pretty blonde. She was exactly the type of woman he would have gone after, before his feelings for Spock started complicating everything. "It's nice to meet you." They shook hands. "Alice, huh? How'd you decide on that?"
"When I was revived two hundred years in to the future, I felt a lot like I'd just gone down the rabbit hole." She shrugged. "It seemed appropriate."
"Alice has been incredibly helpful to me in dealing with the needs of our crew," said Khan, quick to praise the woman. "I have enjoyed sharing the responsibility with her."
"That's great!" Kirk clapped Khan on the shoulder. He was thrilled that 'Cochrane' was treating this woman as an equal. He'd made so much progress already from just a week ago.
"Some of the women feel more comfortable coming to me," said Alice. "Cochrane and I are usually able to work out a solution to any problem one of our crew has."
"But…" Kirk encouraged. He doubted that Alice had joined them simply to meet him.
"I have something to ask you," she said. "Well, rather to ask of Lt. McGivers and Ensign Palmer. My people have heard about their impending nuptials, and I know your chapel is small but if there is any way that some of them would be allowed to attend the ceremony…" She trailed off. "I think it would be a good opportunity for our crew and yours to mix."
"I don't know about the ceremony," said Kirk, "but I'm pretty positive the happy couple would be glad to have your people attend their reception. I'll ask them today."
"Thank you, Captain," said Alice, giving him an appreciative smile.
"It's a great idea, Alice. I wish I'd thought of it," Kirk said, nodding approvingly. "I know that your crew has been keeping to themselves, but what better way for you all to assimilate to life in the 23rd century than by interacting with us? Plus it will be good for crew morale..."
They chatted awhile longer over breakfast. Then Alice had to return to her duties.
"I'll see you later, Captain."
"See you," said Kirk. Once she left, he turned back to Khan. "So how did you like those books that you borrowed?"
"They were fine." Khan couldn't have sounded more bland than if he'd just tasted plomeek soup.
"Fine?" Kirk gaped at him. "You were all but having a nerdgasm over them earlier and now all you can say is that they were fine?"
Khan shrugged, all the while wondering what a 'nerdgasm' was. He'd ask the computer later. "I just have something on my mind."
Kirk instantly became concerned. "Anything I can help you with?"
Cochrane shook his head, still thinking about the rec room incident. Last night had to have been a coincidence. There was no way that he could will someone to carry out his thoughts. It was silly he was still thinking about it.
"Okay." Kirk shrugged. "Well, whatever it is, don't sweat it. You know, I think you're really starting to adjust to living in this time. I think it's great that you're collaborating with a woman."
"She has proved to be more than adequate at the task," he agreed with Kirk. Cochrane was pleased with the praise he'd received. Not that he needed the captain's approval, but it was nice to know that someone gave a damn.
This is getting ridiculous, Cochrane thought, squirming with guilt as he looked at Kirk. It was even interfering with his ability to carry out a conversation with the captain. He had to stop torturing himself about what had happened last night with the pillow in the rec room. Just one quick test would prove that he wasn't crazy and then he could forget the whole thing. I want a glass of orange juice, he wished with all his might.
About twenty seconds later, much to his horror, a female dressed in a red dress uniform approached the table, carrying a PADD and a glass of orange juice. Cochrane just barely managed to keep himself from outwardly reacting. But she didn't even acknowledge him.
"Here's your orange juice, Captain." She handed him the glass, and Kirk stared up at her in confusion.
"That's very nice of you, Carmichaels, but I didn't ask you to get me any orange juice."
The brunette frowned. "You didn't?"
"No. Yeoman, you're not trying to spoil me so you'll get a promotion, are you?" Kirk teased.
"No, sir. I would never do that, sir." The girl blushed. "I just could have sworn-"
"Hey, have you been getting enough sleep?" Kirk asked.
"Not really. I've been having nightmares." Kirk didn't press her for more information, but then she volunteered, "My father was visiting Vulcan on that day."
No one had to ask what day she meant.
"I'm sorry for your loss," Kirk said quietly. He still felt mildly guilty that he hadn't done enough to save Vulcan in time. "You should ask Dr. McCoy for a sleeping-aid."
"I don't want to become dependent on sleep aids, sir," she replied, almost sounding stubborn in her delivery.
Kirk leaned forward just a tad and lowered his voice. "Would it help to know that I occasionally take sleep aids for nightmares?"
"You? Really?" Her eyes widened with shock as he nodded. Then her expression softened. "Yes, that helps a great deal, sir."
"So you'll visit Sickbay?"
"I will, sir. As soon as my shift is over."
"Good." He smiled reassuringly at her. "Don't worry about the orange juice. It was just a mistake. But since you brought it over, I think I'll have some."
"Thank you, sir." Carmichaels gave him a tentative smile before she walked away.
"That was strange," Khan said after the girl was out of earshot. He wanted to get Kirk's opinion on what had just happened. Was he suspicious of her behavior?
"Not really," Kirk chuckled. "She's probably just been working too hard. Trust me, that is not the weirdest thing I've seen sleep-deprived members of my crew do."
"I have to say that you handled that quite well," said Khan, secretly relieved by Kirk's lack of reaction. He didn't suspect a thing. Why would he? "You really put that girl at ease."
"Compared to a few of the diplomatic missions I've been on, that was nothing," said Kirk, but he was pleased by the compliment. "Well, I hate to eat and run, Cochrane, but I'm due on the bridge."
"I will see you later at the gym," said Khan.
"Wouldn't miss it," grinned Kirk. Then he was gone.
Cochrane continued to sit at the table, rooted to the spot. He could not believe what had just happened. True, he had wished for a glass of orange juice, not to have one given to Captain Kirk. But he couldn't deny his involvement in the proceedings. Somehow, that girl, who had been nearby when he'd made his wish, had 'heard' it and then carried it out. That should not be possible! He'd read up on telepathic species, of course, but humans as a whole were largely psi-null. He shouldn't even have the ability to influence other people's minds.
What he should do was tell Captain Kirk and then report to Sickbay for a check-up. But Cochrane was sure he'd be given drugs to suppress his 'unnatural' ability. Not only that, but Kirk would know that he had some strange mind power along with his superior strength. He didn't want to see the look on the captain's face when Kirk found out that he was even more of a freak than he already was. What if Kirk rejected his friendship, or worse, pitied him? Cochrane couldn't handle that reaction from Jim.
So, Cochrane chose to keep his strange ability a secret, at least for now. It's not like he would ever use it to hurt anyone. As much fun as it would be to explore how well he could use his newfound ability, he wasn't planning on using it again.
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Captain's Quarters, lunchtime
"Hey, Spock." Jim smiled at the Vulcan, who had requested that they take their meal in private. Jim knew that Spock did not want to discuss his relationship with Lieutenant Uhura in public. He had commed Khan and asked if they could cancel their lunch, citing that he needed to discuss a private matter with his First Officer. To his relief, Khan had amiably agreed.
Kirk was dreading what the Vulcan had to say about his meld with Uhura, but at the same time was looking forward to spending time with Spock, even if it was to discuss his girlfriend. He really was a masochist…
"I appreciate your discretion, Captain." Spock brought his tray over to the table and took a seat across from Kirk. The Vulcan had chosen his favorite Terran cuisine, the exact meal that Kirk had replicated for him the previous day. Kirk was warmed by this, but chose not to comment about it.
They ate in silence until Kirk decided to jumpstart their discussion, as Spock seemed reluctant to do so.
"So how was the surface meld with Uhura?" Kirk asked after finishing a bite of potato.
"It was uneventful," Spock replied.
"Uneventful." Kirk narrowed his eyes at the Vulcan. What the hell did that mean? "So you were successful, then?"
"Affirmative."
"So what was it you wanted to talk to me about, if not the surface meld?" Kirk pressed.
"I should not make this request of you. You have every right to say no to my proposition. However, it seemed to be the only solution that would satisfy both Nyota and myself." Spock stared at his captain, reluctant to go on.
Kirk rolled his eyes. "Just spit it out, Spock."
Spock didn't even bother denying that he understood the human idiom. "Nyota wanted me to ask you if you wouldn't mind letting me perform a deep meld on you, before I do so with her."
Kirk's expression looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "A deep meld. On me."
"As I said before, you have every right to say no. I will not hold it against you if you refuse," Spock said softly.
"You would see my memories, and the feelings that I have for others," Jim said, with much trepidation.
"Yes, Jim," Spock affirmed.
"Huh." Jim shook his head in disbelief. He really should have seen this coming. "I really need some time to think about this."
"Please, take all the time you need."
"I'll let you know what my answer is as soon as I decide," Jim promised.
"Shall we discuss the Pelasian mission?" Spock seemed quite ready to change the subject.
"Sure." Kirk grinned at him. "I've looked over all the info that Starfleet has sent us. The Pelasians are humanoid in appearance, and their planet is very similar to Earth. They have little telepathic ability, but are receptive to telepathic suggestion. They don't have universal translators, so we'll have to bring some with us if we're going to get any sort of agreement made. They recently became a warp-capable society, but are still in the process of building a fleet that could defend them. From what I can tell, the Pelasians would rather ally themselves with the Federation, but the Klingons have given them a fair amount of incentives for choosing to ally with them."
"Then we must provide them with enough incentives to ally themselves with us," said Spock. "Without breaking the Prime Directive, of course."
"The Prime Directive is so subjective, though," said Kirk, with a teasing glint in his eyes.
"I do not believe that Starfleet Command believes that to be the case," Spock countered.
"Don't you at least want to hear what I have in mind?" Kirk shot him a mock-wounded look.
"Always, Captain," said Spock, with playful derision. 'So I can point out what you are doing wrong' was practically insinuated.
Kirk beamed at the Vulcan. "Okay, here's what I think we should do…"
They discussed the mission for about a half hour longer, and then Spock took his leave.
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Not five minutes after Spock had left, Kirk's door chime rang.
"Come in," he called.
It was Uhura. At his door. Wonders never ceased. "Captain. I'm sorry I didn't make an appointment, but I need to talk to you." There was no scorn, no disrespect in her tone. If anything, she sounded like she was pleading.
"Okay," said a befuddled Kirk. She had never come to him to discuss a problem before. What had prompted her sudden faith in him? "What can I do for you?"
Direct as always, Uhura got straight to the point. "Spock said that you needed some time to think about letting him meld with you."
"Yes I did." He barely concealed his surprise. Spock must have just told her. Was she here to try and convince him to go through with the meld? "I want to help you two, but it's not a decision I can make lightly. There are things about me I don't want anyone to know about, you know?"
"That's exactly how I feel," she agreed.
Kirk blinked in surprise. "It is?"
"Yes. Captain, I don't know if I could let Spock share a deep meld with me." Her sad eyes met his, and damn if he didn't feel bad for her, regardless of his own feelings for Spock.
"I appreciate you coming to me with a problem, but I don't think I'm the person you should be talking to about this particular problem." He winced slightly, thinking about Uhura's reaction if she found out about his feelings for Spock.
"You're exactly the person I should be talking to," she insisted. "Of everyone on the ship, you're the only human that's ever had a true meld with a Vulcan."
"That's true," Kirk admitted. "However, the circumstances of my meld with Ambassador Selik were different than what it would be like if Spock melded with you."
"Such as?" She inquired.
"For one thing, he had just watched the destruction of his planet. His emotional control wasn't exactly at its best. Spock's would be."
"What did it feel like?" Uhura asked softly. "Please tell me."
This is so not a good idea, Kirk thought. But he answered her anyway. "It was… incredible, the most incredible experience of my life," Kirk said honestly. "It was like the ambassador was a part of me, you know? When I was inside the meld, it didn't hurt, not one bit. I was able to receive information from him, no problem. But when I came out of it, I was honest-to-God sobbing. I hadn't cried like that since I was a kid. The ambassador told me that he was sorry for the emotional transference, but I didn't hold it against him. I was completely overwhelmed feeling his despair and his guilt at being helpless to stop the near extinction of his race." Kirk closed his eyes, remembering that moment. He opened them again, finding Uhura's eyes again. "I knew then for certain, that whatever crap they say, however they act, Vulcans have emotions and they feel them more intensely than we do."
"That sounds so awful," Uhura said in a small voice. "If you had a chance to go back in time and stop him from melding with you, would you?"
"No." Kirk sighed. He couldn't tell Uhura the real reason why, how he'd felt so safe, so protected, so cherished within the elder Spock's mind. He'd never known such feelings were possible. Elder Spock had had so much faith in him, faith that he would take command of his ship and save Earth from the ultimate destruction. The meld may have emotionally drained him, but he would never want to undo the most profound experience of his life. "I'll try anything once." He gave her a cocky grin that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Captain, I don't know if I could ever allow Spock to have that much power over me. It's not that I don't trust him, I do, but I just… I don't know." She grimaced. "I'm only twenty-two years old. I'm not ready for that kind of intimacy; I don't know if I'll ever be. It wouldn't be fair to Spock – he needs someone who will share that with him, and he needs it soon. I know this sounds crazy, but I've considered breaking up with him."
"That would really upset him," Kirk said diplomatically.
"I know." She looked away. "But he needs mental support. He told me that a bond would be preferable, but that he would accept a small link. He needs someone who would love him the Vulcan way, not just the human way." She looked at Kirk again. "I'm not so sure that's me."
"You should try a full meld, just once. If you don't try, you'll regret not knowing," Kirk advised. Why was he trying to help her? Why?
"I don't know if I'm that brave," she admitted. "I'm not like you."
Kirk winked at her. "Daredevil, that's me." Then his expression sobered. "But seriously, though – you're like one of the toughest people I know. You're a communications officer, right? Just think of it like another way of communicating."
"What if our minds aren't compatible?" She worried.
"Then at least you'll know." Kirk then gave a most selfless piece of advice. "Promise me you won't break up with him until you try the meld."
"Captain," she protested.
"Promise," he insisted.
"Fine." She scowled at him, but they both knew her heart wasn't in it. "I promise."
"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?" They shared a tentative smile. "If you truly love him, you'll find the strength to try the meld."
"Captain. Jim. Thank you for all the advice. You're a good friend." She nodded at him before taking her leave.
"Yeah – that's the problem," he answered after she'd left the room, lightly banging his head on the table in frustration.
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After another long shift on the bridge, Kirk ate a quick meal in the officer's mess. Scotty was there, along with Bones, Spock, and Uhura. Conversation was light, and when Kirk was finished eating, Scotty left with him.
"So what happened with the meld?" The Scot asked, the second the doors closed behind him.
"Not here," Kirk insisted. "I'll tell you when we get to my quarters."
The walk didn't take long, and soon they were comfortably seated in the captain's quarters. Kirk quickly brought him up to speed in regards to the Spock and Uhura meld situation.
"So now he wants to meld with you, for real." Scotty shook his head. "You cannae do it, Captain. He'll find out your true feelings for sure!"
"Don't you think I don't know that!" Kirk exclaimed. "But if I refuse, then Uhura will really be hesitant to meld with Spock and who knows what would happen with their relationship if she refuses."
"You're screwed either way."
"Yeah." Kirk sighed. "The thing is, I really am trying to help save their relationship."
"But why?" Scotty was incredulous. "Because you're the captain and you're trying to be impartial?"
"Because I want Spock to be happy. Even if he's with Uhura and not with me."
Scotty didn't know what to say to that.
"So I am going to tell Spock tomorrow that I don't feel comfortable with a full meld. It's really going to hurt his feelings, even if he says otherwise. Then it'll be up to Uhura to take the plunge or not."
"Say, hypothetically, they do break up," said Scotty. "What do you think would happen if, after a few weeks or so, I went up to her and asked her out?"
Kirk winced. "Scotty, you barely even know her. To be honest, I think she would probably say no, thanks to your reputation."
"Reputation, Captain?" Scotty's brow knotted in confusion. "But I don't have a reputation."
"Yes you do. It's that you'd rather spend time working in engineering on some new project rather than go out with girls."
"But that's not true!" Scotty insisted.
Kirk gave him a look. "How many girls have you gone on a date with since we left Earth?"
"None, sir." Scotty looked sheepish. "At the beginning, I just didn't have the time with the responsibilities of being Chief Engineer. And as the months wore on, I developed feelings for Nyota but she was with Mr. Spock so obviously I wouldn't have made a move." A dejected look surfaced on the chief engineer's face. "You're right, Captain. But what can I do about it now?"
Kirk gave him a mischievous grin. "We need to up your cool factor."
"Pardon me?"
"We need to change your reputation."
The Scot's eyes widened. "But Captain, it would take years for me to develop a reputation like yours, even if I was a one night stand kind of guy."
Kirk groaned. "Not like that. Trust me, Scotty, most of my reputation was exaggerated."
"Really?"
"I was taking four years worth of classes condensed into three, which, to tell you the truth wasn't my brightest idea. But I couldn't back out once I started, you know?" Kirk smiled, fondly remembering his academy days, even if they had been somewhat stressful. "Trust me - there wasn't that much time for partying and carousing."
"But you're a genius," Scotty insisted.
"Even geniuses have to study, Kirk demurred politely. "But back to you. We need the girls on the ship to see you as the fun guy, the guy who isn't afraid to show them a good time."
"And how am I supposed to do that?"
"Start asking girls out. Take them on dinner dates and ask them about themselves. Girls love that. Then hit the rec room, and play a few games together. Make your date laugh."
"But the girl I really want to date is Uhura," Scotty protested. "Wouldn't it be unfair to the other girls?"
"Not if you don't lead them on," said Kirk. "Make it perfectly clear that it's not that kind of date. Then, at the end of the date, confide in them that if your heart wasn't already taken, you would have gone for them for sure."
"Wouldn't that just offend them?" Scotty asked.
"It might," Kirk admitted. "But I'm betting most girls will find it cute or endearing. Then they'll gossip amongst their friends about who has stolen Mr. Scott's heart. That should get you more dates, since they'll want to know more about your mysterious girl."
"But I'm not actually going to tell them who it is!"
"No, of course not," said Kirk. "But you'll be setting yourself to be the guy that Uhura could go to for a shoulder to cry on, if or when she breaks up with Spock."
"I willnae be her rebound boyfriend!" Scotty cried.
"No. At first, you'll be her friend," Kirk explained. "If you find out you have things in common, then just let nature take its course."
Scotty nodded, deep in thought. "I don't know if this will work, but I'm willing to give it a try."
"Great!" Kirk enthused. "Oh, and make sure you ask out at least one of the nurses. According to Bones, they're the biggest gossips on the ship. They'll practically be doing your work for you, especially since Uhura is friends with Chapel."
"Will do, Captain." Scotty smiled. "Thank you for your help."
"Anytime," said Kirk, and meant it. Scotty then took his leave.
Kirk watched him go. He really hoped that his plan would help Scotty be successful. Of course, it would only work if Spock and Uhura broke up. He hoped he wasn't setting Scotty up to fail. Still, it would be good for Scotty if he stopped spending so much time in engineering. Work was important, but it shouldn't be one's whole life.
He was one to talk. He barely had time to spend with anyone, thanks to the demands of his captaincy and his dedication to befriend Khan. On the other hand, people were starting to come to him with their problems. He was more than happy to help, even if he felt like he was caught up in the Enterprise edition of a soap opera. One thing's for sure, he thought, life on this ship is never boring.
End Ch. 6
A/N: Reviews would be appreciated!