A/N: Well, I meant to post this three days ago but Document Manager was giving me tons of trouble. About the chapter: it seems that most of the Yoshis in Mario games don't have names other than "Yoshi", "Boshi", and "(color) Yoshi". This leads me to believe that Yoshi names are probably impossible to pronounce if you don't speak the Yoshi language. I wanted to call 'em something, and figured the Koopas would too, so I named 'em. Yes, it's based on Japanese; no I'm not a weeaboo (Spanish didn't work). Enjoy!
Junior rushed to give the princess a hug as the rest of the Koopalings smiled brightly from their plush thrones. "You sit over here, next to me!"
Peach took her place next to the excited young prince, nestling into the lush pillows and fabrics lining her throne. Junior quickly scrambled onto her lap while adjusting his jeweled cuffs that Kammy had made him wear for the occasion.
"You look very nice today, Junior," she remarked, taking notice of the rest of the Koopalings' attire.
Ludwig was wearing a deep blue cape, which had gold shoulder plates attached. It appeared that he had painstakingly groomed his usual mess of blue hair in such a fashion that it still appeared messy, but was obviously intentionally so. Except for his frequent nervous shifting, he looked every bit the part of the noble crown prince. The twins were wearing jeweled cuffs similar to Junior's along with matching red sashes tied around their upper arms. Roy was looking exceptionally dangerous, clad in a long black cape and more silver spikes than Peach had ever seen in her entire life. Kammy had deprived him of his trademark sunglasses; his kohl-rimmed eyes, unused to the sun, were squinting malevolently. Morton wore a light blue toga and an expression of excitement while, curiously, Larry seemed to be wearing something of a raccoon outfit. Perhaps most stunning of all was Wendy, who was wearing a tall crown like that of a Thai dancer, along with dozens of glittery jeweled bangles and a perfectly painted face.
"Thanks Mama Peach! Are you excited for the contests?"
"I suppose I am, but I don't know what they are."
Before Junior could describe the contests to her, a trumpet rang out and an elderly Magikoopa in a tall hat, flowing white robes, and a red tippet addressed the crowd in that strange language Peach could not understand. He droned on in the mysterious language, gesturing and raising his arms to throw salts and urge the crowd to repeat some of his chants. The Koopalings yawned and sunk in their chairs, but dutifully repeated the chants of the elders in the mysterious tongue.
When the speech was over, and the crowd resumed talking, Peach leaned over to the Koopalings. "What was that language, the one that old Koopa was speaking just now?"
"That's the ancient language of the Koopas," Iggy said.
"And you all speak and understand it?"
"Mostly. It's something we learn about in school, but honestly the old clergy gives the same speech every year, so it's kinda ingrained. I could probably translate it for you, if you'd like, but the speech is about as interesting as one of Morton's jokes."
"Hey!" Morton interjected, "That old, ancient, geezer man is way more totally and completely boring than my super-cool, super-funny, awesome, amazing jokes!"
"Don't worry Mama Peach, nobody really says anything important in that language, and if they do, just make Junior translate for you, I hear he could use the practice."
Junior shot Iggy a defensive look; he was not proud of the fact that he regularly received low marks on his ancient language tests. Most Koopa children were born with more of an innate aptitude for the language, but Bowser had assured the little prince that it was perfectly natural that he was a little behind in that area. "You'll just have to work extra hard to make your old man proud," he had growled.
Just then, an announcer's voice broke through the low din of the crowd. "Your attentions please, lords and ladies, citizens of the Darklands! It is time to welcome our eight legendary competitors!"
The cheer from the crowd was deafening and Junior clung to Peach as she stood at the railing of the balcony to get a better view of the competitor's entrance gate. "I, Raphael the Raven, will be your compère for this year's festival. Without further ado, may I present the competitors! First, a mighty presence who needs no introduction; representing the Koopa royal bloodline and championing his own son, the esteemed Bowser Koopa Jr., give it up for His Royal Majesty, King Bowser Koopa!"
Bowser strutted out of the gate to a crashing wave of noise. He wore a long crimson cape around his shoulders, clasped by an oxidized silver chain. He first gave his sweet princess a smile before running his claw though his fiery mane and let out a blood-curling roar.
"Yeah, that's my papa!"
"Next, an athlete of amazing prowess, representing His Majesty Larry Koopa, fourteen-time gold medalist Khelps Koopham!" A thin, muscular Koopa jogged out of the gate winking at the ladies and smiling brightly. He offered to shake hands with the Koopa King, who begrudgingly reciprocated.
"Next, representing Morton Koopa Jr., a mysterious Magikoopa of the desert, give your applause to Tutankoopa!" Tutankoopa levitated self-importantly, adjusting his pharaoh's crown and stopping next to the posing athlete.
"Representing Her Highness Wendy O. Koopa, we have popular teen idol, Konas Koopinson!" The hysterical shrieks of several fan girls comingled with ubiquitous groans from male crowd members as Koopinson stalked out of his cage, half-drunk with a moody expression.
"We love you Konas! Have my babies!"
"Ahem, yes, next we have the deadliest toll-collector this side of the Midas River. Representing His Highness Iggy Koopa, though bearing no relation, let's hear it for Kent C. Koopa!" When announced, Kent skipped out of the gate and waved at the crowd members gawkily. Konas scoffed for being in the same arena as the socially awkward Kent, and silently vowed to contact his agent about it later.
"A female fighter who's all about mixing it up in the Glitz Pit; representing Prince Roy Koopa is the legendary, the incredible, Koolani Kai!" A bulky female Koopa with pink hair and a pink shell stormed out of the gate and threw her hands in the hair, basking in the cheers from the crowd. Bowser nodded to her in respectful acknowledgement.
"Representing Prince Lemmy Koopa, the terror of Yoshi's Island, Hookbill!" A large, unintelligent looking, red-shelled Koopa burst through the gate while waving, stuttering, and nearly tripping over his own feet.
"And last but certainly not least, a mysterious youth and fellow gifted student at the Darklandian Academy; representing Crown Prince Ludwig von Koopa, give your attentions to Lawrence Koopin!"
Lawrence walked out into the dusty arena with his eyes closed, his nervous muscles frozen in a rigid posture. His silky raven hair matched his black Magikoopa robes, which billowed in the hot winds. Roy narrowed his eyes at his older brother. Surely, he did not think that some dumb student would be able to take on King Dad. No, Ludo was smarter than that; obviously, the duo had some tricks up their sleeves.
"Now, our three judges, the Lady Kammy, Lord Kamek, and Her Majesty Princess Peach Toadstool of the Mushroom Kingdom, shall go into the arena and greet the competitors.
Kammy motioned for Peach to follow her and Kamek down the marble steps into the round arena.
"Just smile, say hello, and shake hands," Kammy whispered, "Kamek and I will use our abilities to examine the competitors. It's only a formality."
Peach nodded and then approached Bowser cautiously. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Princess," he said with a grin as he grasped her hand and kissed it gently. Taken aback, Peach quickly clasped her hands together and tried to fight the violent blush invading her cheeks.
Kamek shook hands with the various competitors, discreetly assessing their physical capabilities and prowess. He greeted Lawrence warmly. A young Magikoopa? How very unique. After shaking the student's hand, Kamek could not resist a look back at Ludwig with eyebrows raised in amused interest. Oh my, how very unique indeed.
At last, the judges had finished greeting the competitors. Kammy raised her wand to her mouth and said, "We the judges have finished the preliminaries and are ready to make our first elimination."
The crowd roared in shock and Peach spun to face the Magikoopa. She had no idea she was supposed to be prepared to eliminate anything.
"I have detected the use of certain enhancement substances not approved by the Darklandian Royal Council. Khelps Koopham is hereby disqualified from participating in the Darklandian Games. Furthermore, he shall submit to a review of the legitimacy of the rest of his achievements."
Larry screamed in outrage and then buried his head in his claws. My hero! How could he? Larry was not sure that Koopham ever stood a chance against King Koopa, but he was ashamed to learn that his ultimate idol was something of a fraud.
"Oh Larry, I'm so sorry." Peach attempted to comfort the distraught Koopaling as she took her place back on the balcony. "It doesn't seem fair does it? Sometimes our heroes just aren't who we thought they were."
"Here, I'll calculate the score on my phone, it'll be faster that way, and also I can make sure you're not slipping in any extra points."
Mario gave Pauline a playfully offended expression.
"Oh, don't look at me that way. You can be almost as bad as your cousin, Wario! Besides, I remember back in school, you were terrible at math."
Mario responded by dipping his fingers in a nearby water trap and flicking the water droplets towards her face.
"Oh my Stars, you're the same now as you were back then. Mom was right; men never grow up. Well, I guess I'm lucky I'm with you though; you only fling water. Do you remember that time when you had to save me from Donkey Kong?" She shuddered, "Well, on second thought, I'd rather not mention all the things he'd fling about. Hey, look, you won. Wow, you won by a landslide, I guess I have to take you out to dinner later."
Mario smiled in mock triumph; he was looking forward to a nice dinner out with Pauline.
"Well, we have a bit of time before it's really dinner hour. I wonder what we should do until then," she asked, fixing Mario with a devious smile. "Mm, I just remembered I have this awesome little place I've been dying to show you, let's go!"
Peach clasped her hands softly in her lap as she watched the colorful Yoshis line up for a race. She had so many questions she was not sure where to start, or even if her questions were appropriate.
"You look a little troubled, Your Majesty," remarked Kitty, handing her a fancy glass goblet of orange liquid. "Mango juice; it gets really hot out here so it's my job to keep you hydrated."
"Mm, thank you. Yes, I have some questions, but I'm not sure if it would be offensive to ask."
"You won't offend me Mama Peach, I ask lots and lots of questions all day long, and nobody is ever offended because I say so and I'm the boss." Morton replied energetically.
"Um, okay, well, I was wondering why some Koopas look like Kamek and Kammy, while other Koopas, like Lawrence and Koolani, look a bit more like King Bowser and the Koopalings."
"Simple," replied Iggy, "It has to do with bloodlines and stuff. The Koopa royal family has always looked this way. Then, when we were back on a caste system, the more "upper class" you were, the more you looked like us. Now, those changes can be made with magic, and basically, families who have done some service to the royal family get to look like us for some number of generations."
"Oh, I see," Peach said, not sure if she fully understood.
"Anything else, Your Highness?"
"Well, I had kind of wondered what the Yoshis were doing here. I know that the Yoshis are not traditional members of the Koopa Troop."
"You're correct, Princess," said Kammy, who had returned from the refreshment table with a plateful of grapes. "The Koopa Nation and the Yoshi nation have had a historical master and slave relationship. Until this year, the Yoshis firmly refused to participate in our games, although traditionally they were very important and involved in many aspects of the celebration."
"So what changed?"
"His Nastiness offered some generous grants to various Yoshi tribes. He also signed some specific contracts of participation, including a ban on a game where the competitors attempt to prevent the Yoshis from reclaiming a model of the Super Happy Tree, the national tree of Yoshi independence. We are also banned from referring to any Yoshi as a 'Green Donkey', a traditional name, which many Yoshis now apparently consider a racial epithet."
"Oh my."
Raphael's voice suddenly boomed across the crowd, "Ladies and gentlemen, please direct your attention to the arena as the knights mount their noble steeds. First, Lawrence Koopin and Aoshi." Lawrence gracefully mounted a somber dark blue Yoshi with a shiny red shell.
"Hookbill and Akashi." Akashi, a fleet-footed red Yoshi looked at the large Koopa nervously and strained under the weight of Hookbill's bulk.
"Kent C. Koopa and Midoshi!" Kent gave Midoshi a gentle pat on her long green neck before saddling up for the race.
"Koolani Kai and Momoshi!" The brawny female Koopa was already atop her equally brawny pink steed.
"Konas Koopinson and Murashi!" The proud purple Yoshi stuck her nose up in the air as she paced with the handsome movie star on her back.
"Tutankoopa and Kiiroshi!" Tutankoopa looked a little frightened of the spirited yellow Yoshi under him.
"And finally, His Majesty Bowser Koopa and Kuroshi!" The crowd went wild as Bowser hopped on the sturdy black Yoshi. Peach giggled a little; even though Kuroshi was quite large for a Yoshi, the massive Koopa looked quite out of place on the back of a creature that was so much smaller than he was.
The Yoshis and their riders all took their places at the starting mark. Raphael announced that the riders would race five laps around the expansive arena. Kamek held his wand out in the air, "On your mark, get set, go!" A burst of shapes flew from the wand and the racers sped from the starting line.
Around the first lap, the competitors appeared evenly matched, with a slight lead to the speedy Momoshi and Koolani, with Murashi and Konas hot on their heels. During the second lap, Kent and Lawrence fell behind a little, while Hookbill made a dash from the middle to the front.
The Koopalings cheered and hollered for their respective teams, though in these games, it winning mattered much less than losing. The winner would receive a reward of some sort, while the loser would be eliminated from the competition.
Things began to heat up in the third lap. Bowser and Kuroshi edged towards the front of pack, edging out the competition with Bowser's sheer bulk. In response, Koolani urged Momoshi to press against the duo to force them to travel diagonally, cutting their speed. However, the fourth lap held the most dramatic turn of events. Kuroshi, Momoshi, Miroshi, and Akashi, the Yoshis who carried the heaviest of racers, began to feel the fatigue of toting their heavy racers. The other three Yoshis with lighter riders were more than happy to take advantage of the situation and soon found themselves in the top three.
At the beginning of the fifth and final lap, Lawrence, Konas, and Tutankoopa found themselves neck and neck, racing towards the finish line. Konas grinned maliciously at Lawrence and stuck his foot out to kick Aoshi. Lawrence's well-aimed claw deflected Konas' foot. Tutankoopa merely clutched Kiiroshi's neck for dear life and silently prayed to the Stars that it would not be another "one of those days." The high-energy Yoshi saw the finish line in the distance and called upon all of his reserve energy to sprint towards the finish. The yellow Yoshi sped past the feuding purple and blue and crossed the finish line in record time.
Morton leaped from his chair, cheered, jabbered, and blew raspberries at his siblings. Junior could not believe his dad had lost at anything; he was one place away from elimination for Granbi's sake!
Akashi bucked Hookbill, the last place competitor, off his back as they crossed the finish line, and then stomped off to go enjoy the fruit and refreshments promised by the festival committee. Lemmy sighed and then shrugged his shoulders as Koopatrols escorted his eliminated knight out of the arena.
"Congratulations Morton!" Peach said warmly. "What do you and Tutankoopa win for coming in first place?"
The Yoshis refreshed themselves with water and fruit as Morton told her, in his extended way, that Tutankoopa would have immunity from elimination for the next game. The crowd rejoiced as tiny sprinklers turned on to help relieve the heat from the sweltering mid afternoon sun. Kitty smiled happily as she waved Peach with a comically large fan and ate a tiny pastry. The buffet spread for the royal family was fabulous; Kitty and Kamea were thrilled to have the amazingly good fortune to be able to join Her Majesty as she watched the games.
Toadworth hovered nervously by the emergency communicator, prepared to pounce on it if it were to ring. He knew he should probably be enjoying his day off, but he could not help but worry for the princess' safety.
He shuffled some papers about, what the Queen Jaydes those monsters wanted from Peach, he could not imagine. He shuddered; rather, he could imagine what at least one of those monsters could be hoping to accomplish.
The way that nasty old conjurer behaved this morning! Completely unacceptable! Ordering around Her Majesty as if she, a lowly Magikoopa, had any right even to address the princess.
The more Toadsworth thought about it, the more enraged he became until, on his desk amidst the mess of papers, he saw something to make him smile.
Hmm, it has been quite some time since I have held any kind of congregation for the Silver Club. Yes, perhaps it is time that I do so, after all, we certainly won't be getting any younger.
Having temporarily forgotten about the plight of his royal charge, he hobbled off to receive permission from the king to hold an event for his Silver Club comrades.
"For our next exciting event, may we have our third and fourth place racers come to the stadium: Lawrence Koopin and Koolani Kai! The two Koopas will once again mount their noble Yoshis to participate in a challenge of strength and skill: jousting!"
Roy threw a smirk at Ludwig, who nervously picked at the edges of his cape. He could not wait to see what a puny little Magikoopa-in-training would do against the raw brawn of the legendary Kai.
Lawrence placed an iron helmet upon his head and lowered the visor before mounting the armor-clad Aoshi. A few Parakoopas handed him the lance, which was spiral striped in white and ebony woods. He almost dropped the lance as he grasped it; it was heavier than he expected. He could see his opponent across the arena preparing similarly, though she seemed to have a tighter grip on her lance. He chanced a glance at Ludwig, who looked positively sick with worry. Why did he ask me to do this? Did he really think I stood a chance in any of these games?
He called upon his magic to help steady his lance as he rode out to meet his fearsome opponent. Raphael announced that the two Koopas would race toward each other in attempt to knock the other off their Yoshi. They had three attempts and if nobody knocked the other off, the match would be declared a draw, and nobody would be up for elimination. Of the defeated Koopas, the Koopa who performed the worst in the racing event would be eliminated.
Finally, the wind settled in the dusty arena and the gong sounded, signaling the jousters to begin. Lawrence felt the breeze through the slits of his visor as Aoshi ran at full speed. He saw his opponent appear closer and closer until he ducked down, closed his eyes, and prepared for the inevitable crash. However, the crash did not come for either party.
"Missed on the first round! Knights, prepare for round two!"
Lawrence's heart hammered in his armored chest and he breathed heavily. It was a miracle he had found the courage to make the initial run; now he had to do it again? The gong sounded once more and the steadfast Aoshi ran at full speed. Lawrence's fondest hope was to achieve a draw, knowing that he would be unable, without perfect aim, to dismount Kai. However, the Magikoopa would not be so lucky. As the two competitors neared, Koolani struck Lawrence directly in the center of his armored carapace, knocking him cleanly off Aoshi. He landed hard on the dirt floor and the crowd cheered with excitement.
Lawrence clutched his arm in pain and took in a few short breaths. Medi Guys ushered Lawrence out of the arena while Bowser and Tutankoopa prepared to face off. Ludwig looked into the stadium, horrified.
"What a blow, Koopin looks to be injured! Next up, Tutankoopa and His Majesty King Bowser Koopa. Remember folks, if His Majesty gets knocked off his steed in this event, it's all over for Prince Bowser Jr."
"C'mon King Dad, knock his block off!" Junior yelled. Morton opened his mouth to protest, but Peach reminded him that Tutankoopa would remain in the game no matter the outcome of this event.
The gong sounded and Kuroshi and Kiiroshi ran towards each other on a collision course. Tutankoopa frowned and lowered his head, his robes fluttering in the wind. As the two passed each other, Bowser felt his lance get somewhat heavier. He looked up at the tip of his lance and saw that he had caught Tutankoopa by his robes.
"Well, look what I've got here!" he chortled, before flinging Tutankoopa from the lance to the other side of the arena, where he landed with a crash.
"And the victory goes to King Bowser Koopa! The Medi Guys have just informed me that Lawrence Koopin is okay, suffering only a minor strain to his right arm. Up next are Kent C. Koopa and Konas Koopinson!"
Konas strode out to the field, ready to face off against the large, nerdy Koopa before him. Kent plodded out good-naturedly, hoping to teach the haughty pretty-boy a little something about egotism. The gong sounded and the green and purple Yoshis charged one another. At the decisive moment, Konas barely dodged Kent's lance, then quickly spun around and threw his own lance like a javelin right into the back of Kent's helmet, knocking Kent off his Yoshi, onto the ground where he fell unconscious.
Peach covered her eyes in horror while the audience moaned in sympathy.
"What a nasty trick!" called the Raven announcer, "Kent C. Koopa is eliminated from the tournament!"
"Shoot!" Iggy yelled, as his sister watched Konas preen himself unapologetically.
"Second in the Yoshi race and winner of a jousting round," Wendy boasted. "I think it's totally safe to say that my knight is winning."
"Oh yeah? You just wait, King Dad won't lose to some stupid pretty-boy; you're going down!" Junior retorted.
Ludwig, who would normally join in with his siblings' competitive banter and sling about a few bombastic insults, could do little more than worry about his injured competitor. Perhaps I was iniquitous to persuade him to participate. Was I being too egocentric and inconsiderate?
Peach, who had noticed the Koopaling's odd behavior throughout the day, placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Everything is going to be okay, Ludwig. I'm certain your friend will be just fine, so try not to worry so much."
Ludwig gave her an appreciative smile. "Your friend?" Does she know?