A/N: Oh, these kids have had it SO good for the last 23 chapters or so, haven't they? But as most of us have found out, you can't build a castle of cards without something coming along and bringing it crashing down. So let's get down to it already! We're about to get vicious and nasty. I am fully exercising my 'T' rating in this chapter with the use of the almighty eff-bomb, but c'mon, in a situation like this, wouldn't you say it too?

Also, I've totally caught up with myself; I wrote this last chapter on Saturday. (I'm frustrated with school and life, can you tell?) Your suggestions and requests are now more relevant than ever, as I'll most likely be able to implement them quickly and easily, so long as they make sense with my overarching plot line. We're in the home stretch, but please don't worry about me rushing these important bits. I'll do my best to give them all the care and attention they deserve. Thanks everybody for sticking with YotW for as long as you have, I appreciate all the reviews and comments. Without further ado, let's start throwing those monkey wrenches!

Mario jiggled his leg nervously as he waited for his darling Pauline. The waiters at the newly renovated and redesigned Sora Sora bustled by his table for two.

"More water, sir?" a finely dressed bus boy refilled Mario's glass. "I'm sure she'll come soon, sir."

Far from the quaint diner it had once been, Sora Sora had received generous investment from WarioWare Inc. and now filled a previously empty industry niche in the Mushroom Kingdom as an upscale four-star restaurant.

Mario swirled his water and took a sip as a flash of blond hair caught his eye. Up at the front of the restaurant, Princess Peach looked to be making an inquiry to which the maître d' was pointing in his direction. Mario's stomach wrenched in anxiety. What is she doing here? Is she looking for me? How did she know I was here? Questions raced though the plumber's mind as the princess approached the table.

Her usual pink dress replaced with a slinky, form-fitting black dress, which had a slit running all the way up the leg; Peach was looking entirely more voluptuous than he had ever seen before. At last, as she neared the table, he looked into her eyes and smiled. Instead of finding the clear cerulean irises he had been expecting, he was perplexed to encounter Pauline's misty gray ones staring back at him.

"Oh Mario, I'm so sorry I'm late. I hope you didn't wait too long, the salon took way longer than I thought it would."

Mario smiled back politely, heart still hammering in his chest. He had no idea why a single man should have been as scared of discovery as he was, but he supposed having a powerful monarch in love with him as he was actively trying to court another woman was as good a reason as any to be nervous. For now, he had many more things on his mind about which to be nervous. Amazingly, in his tumult, somewhere in the back of his mind he thought, what has she done to her hair?

"Well," Pauline started, smiling sheepishly. "What do you think?" She ran her hands though her dyed hair. Mario nodded politely, indicating his false approval.

"You're too nice; I think it's awful. I mean we go onstage tomorrow night! You still have that ticket I gave you, right? I can't believe that terrible director decided at the last minute that my coloring 'clashed' with his precious Madame Flurrie. He demanded that I completely change my physical appearance to highlight that…woman. Do you know how many years this is going to take to grow out?"

Mario did not know how many years it would take before her hair grew out, but he stayed silent to let Pauline rant. He was beginning to lose confidence; he had wanted her to be happier tonight. He wanted to make her happy always.

"And why couldn't she have changed her hair? Apparently being brunette doesn't make my character 'believable'. Believable, are you kidding me? I'll tell you what's unbelievable, casting some conceited has-been as the romantic lead and slowly demoting me to practically a background character. I realize there are no small roles but still…You know, she has him eating out of her hand and who knows where else; I'll bet she asked him to do this to me because she's mad that her diet isn't working. Jealousy is disgusting, isn't it?"

Mario offered his hand in comfort and solidarity with her predicament. He didn't know how he could help, so he kissed her on the cheek and nuzzled her softly, hoping she'd forget all about her days stresses and just relax to enjoy her time with him.

"Oh, you're so incredibly sweet to take me out to dinner like this, and here I am going on and on about work. You said you had something important to talk to me about; what is it?"

Mario shook his head coyly, with a smile and insisted they first enjoy dinner and some lighter conversation. The evening moved along splendidly thereafter. Pauline perked up and talked jovially in her usual manner about news, politics, and all sorts of interesting facets of her day. Mario was more than happy to listen, occasionally offering a joke or an insightful view. Perfectly matched conversationally, the pair always had a delightful time with one another.

For dessert, the couple enjoyed a "Darklandian Shiver"; a veritable volcano of ice cream, dripping with molten fudge and engulfed in flaming liqueurs. Emboldened by the sparkling wine, Mario even sang along with the live band for Pauline's tipsy, embarrassed pleasure. As they exited the restaurant, Mario took Pauline by the hand and the couple walked to the lakeside. A half moon shining brightly above, Mario held Pauline's hand and sighed happily.

Mario did not notice the cloaked, shadowy figure standing stock still in the shadows as he knelt on one knee and removed a velvet box from his coat pocket. In her enthusiastic squeals of delight and acceptance, Pauline could not hear the figure disappear to report to its master.

Bowser was sleeping peacefully while lying on his stomach, his tacky satin sheets enveloping him in a loose cocoon. A light snore issued from his mouth and his claw rested upon his precious photo album.

Suddenly, his double doors burst open with a loud bang, nearly breaking the hinges on which they sat. "Sire!" Kamek yelled at his charge to awaken him. As expected, Bowser awoke in a rage until he realized that an army corps of Magikoopas was now facing him.

"Wh-What's going on?!" Bowser rubbed his eyes sleepily; something like this had not happened since the bomb threats in the years of the war. Who would be foolish enough to attack his kingdom now?

"Sorry to disturb you; please understand that time is of the essence. Get dressed…now."

Bowser's eyes widened; Kamek had not commanded him with that tone since he was a child. Indignant with sleep deprivation and pride, Bowser retorted, "No, you gonna tell me what's going on, right now; and in the future you better think twice about who you're ordering around. I'm the king; I'm not some little kid anymore."

Kamek was visually losing patience, biting his tongue to stop him from lashing out at his indignant sovereign. Kammy lightly touched the sleeve of Kamek's robe to warn him to remain silent. Pushing to the front, Kamea bowed and hastily uttered, "Forgive us, Your Majesty, but we have just received word that our worst fears have been confirmed. Princess Peach has accepted Mario's hand in marriage; our intelligence agents just confirmed the proposal and subsequent engagement. I am…so sorry."

"No…NO, you're wrong! It can't be!" he roared. "She promised me she wouldn't settle for less than love! She said she didn't love him!"

"Perhaps…"

"No 'perhaps'! No more motherfucking 'perhaps'! You are all worthless!" he screamed, sweeping various items to the floor. "I asked for one thing in this wretched life. I gave you ONE order, Kamek. I told you to keep him away from her."

"We had a gap in our intelligence, Sire. The agents swear they never saw Princess Peach leave her castle; we are merely fortunate we had an agent on Mario as well."

"Fortunate?! How fortunate are we? Are we fortunate that we know that Peach betrayed me? Lucky that we know how that bastard will be in Peach's bed for the rest of her life? Tell me, you worthless waste of air, tell me how lucky we are."

"Your Highness, please calm yourself, all is not lost."

"Screw you, hag. You're as useless as he is; maybe if you all didn't have one foot in the retirement home you might have followed orders! Consider yourselves dishonorably discharged." With that, Bowser spun on his heel and hastily stomped out of the room.

How could she? How could she? She promised; this has got to be a dream, a sick sick dream. Wake up, you idiot, wake up right now and tell me this isn't real! He pinched himself hard enough to piece his skin with his claw and draw blood. She had betrayed him, and now, he would betray her. He stomped to the hangar and boarded the Clown Car.

Not knowing what other noise to make, he cackled in hateful, menacing laughter. Laughter at his own broken heart, worthless feelings, and self-pity. He headed straight for Mushroom Castle. One way or another, he would have his Peach by his side. She would dance in his arms, whether she wanted to or not. This time, when she left her Mushroom Castle, she would never be back. The only reason he would hesitate to slay the cursed plumber is if there was some possibility of torture before he could murder him in the most brutal way imaginable. Thus, he would have his revenge.

Peach slept with a light smile on her lips and Buzzy in her arms. All day, she had a feeling something interesting was going to happen to her, but the most interesting thing that had happened all day was the discovery of an extra piece of chocolate that Toadette had placed on her pillow.

Peach awoke with a start as she heard a crash and saw shattered glass fly across her room. Bowser laughed menacingly as he roughly directed Peach into his Clown Car.

"Bowser, what are you doing? You broke my balcony!"

Bowser did not reply and instead started piloting away.

"Hey, answer me! You're supposed to send an invitation or something, remember?"

Bowser turned around, stuffing his enormous face directly in front of hers. He stared her down and said nastily, "And you're supposed to keep your promises too, Princess!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Shut up! Don't act like you don't know why I'm here. Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

Peach recoiled in horror; Bowser had never spoken to her like this. Suddenly, she did not feel quite so safe around him anymore.

"I'm sorry…I really don't know what you're talking about."

Bowser grunted in anger and focused on piloting the Clown Car.

"Please, can we talk about this? If I forgot a promise, I don't remember and I'm really sorry. I'm sure I can make it up to you."

"There's nothing to talk about. You're right; you will make it up to me. You're going to stay with me in my castle for the rest of your life. You will never see Mario or the Mushroom Kingdom ever again."

Peach opened her mouth in protest as they neared the Darklandian Castle. Why is he doing this?

Bowser landed the Clown Car inside the hangar and pushed Peach out into the castle. "Go to your room or have the Koopatrols show you to the dungeons, it's your choice."

"Please, can you just tell me what I did wrong?" Peach beseeched, searching for kindness in his hardened eyes.

Bowser grimaced, scrunching his eyes with the pain of her pleas. "You…you know damn well what you've done!" he screamed. "You and that plumber! You promised me you'd never settle for less. You lied to me, Peach! You told me you didn't love him! So which is it, did you lie about being in love or did you simply say yes to the first fool who ran along with a ring?"

Now, it was Peach's turn to be angry. "I already told you, I have no idea what you're talking about. I was at my castle all day; I didn't lie or say yes to anybody! I was sleeping when you came along and completely destroyed my balcony, pushed me around, and screamed at me. Friends don't do these things!"

"I am not your friend!" he yelled back.

"Well, that's another bit of news, first I've heard of it!"

"Just tell me why you said yes. Why the hell would you agree to marry that plumb scum?"

Peach began to turn red from the heat of the argument, growing more indigent with every confusing accusation Bowser flung at her. "For the last time, I don't know what you're talking about. Furthermore, even if I did, what business is it of yours?"

"It's all of my business! You can't get married to anybody because you-- you're already married to me!"

"Oh enough! I am not married to you, I have never been married to you, and I will never be married to you. "

Peach's cold words and harsh tone struck Bowser's heart like an icy dagger. His eyes widened and he sharply inhaled through his nose. He wanted more than anything to force her to take back what she had said. Still, he could never bring himself to inflict physical harm. This is it…she said she would never marry me. She wants him and not me. He wanted to hate her, but all he could feel was a nauseating mix of frustration and general malice.

Peach gathered her courage in the resulting silence from her previous words. "What does it matter to you what I do with my life? How dare you break down my door, take me from my castle, shout at me, and make accusations about things that are none of your concern? Where do you get off?"

Bowser looked down and growled at her in the back of his throat. Looking upwards with an icy glare, he smirked maliciously. "You idiotic blonde bimbo. How many times do I have to answer the same question? It is my business. It has always been my business! I can't believe how wrong I was. I used to admire how smart you seemed, how quickly you caught on to new things, and what a good politician I thought you were. Obviously, I was blind."

"What are you talking about…?"

Bowser clenched his fists into tight balls and roared, "If you are too stupid to figure out that I am in love with you and have always, ALWAYS been in love with you, then you obviously don't deserve my crown, or any other crown for that matter!"

Peach stood stunned as Bowser commanded his Koopatrols, "Get her out of my sight!"

Before long, Peach found herself in her old room. She sat on the bed and, shaken by the stress of recent events and all that Bowser had said, she began to cry with frustration, fear, and anger.

Meanwhile, in the Mushroom Castle, Toadette whispered softly, "Call the Mario Brothers, something is desperately wrong."

Mario was laying awake in bed, slowly stroking Pauline's bare back and smiling to himself while thinking about his amazing day. Tomorrow, he would call Mama and tell her the good news, consequences be damned. He was just drifting off to sleep when the vibrations of his Mailbox SP against the nightstand jarred him awake. He quickly grabbed the device off the end table, glancing over at Pauline who was still asleep, breathing lightly but steadily.

The glow of the screen illuminated his face as he scanned the message from the Mushroom Castle. Mama Mia, what a terrible time for an attack. Mario rolled his eyes as he gathered his clothing off the floor to dress himself. Did that enormous reptile have nothing else to do in his free time besides attack other kingdoms? Mario was sure that being a king was probably a lot of hard work, even if one was only in control of one kingdom; He could not see why anyone would want to be in charge of two.

He sighed and glanced over at his beautiful fiancée one last time. Good thing she's a heavy sleeper. He grabbed his ticket to the next night's performance off the table and quickly wrote a note describing the circumstances and his whereabouts. Lastly, he put his shoes on his feet, tying the laces tightly, and burst out the door; ready to battle his way once again to the Darklands.

"Go away!" Peach moaned weakly at some Darklandian minion knocking at her door.

Despite the order, the door swung open noiselessly, revealing a three Magikoopas and a Boo.

"I said leave me alone, I have nothing to discuss with any minion of Bowser's."

"Your Highness," spoke Kamek, "unfortunately you have been demoted from 'guest' status to 'prisoner' status. Normally, under His Majesty's command, we would still acquiesce to your commands; however, we are by no means required to do so. At this moment in time, we have a matter most important to share with you."

Kitty wanted to reach out and hug the princess. She looked so sad and frustrated. It was as if she did not understand the pain that she had caused His Majesty.

"I don't want to hear it. I'm going to sit in this room by myself until the Mario Brothers come to rescue me and I hope to never see any of you ever again."

"Princess, that is exactly our fear. We don't know why you did what you did, but we understand that is not our place to be concerned. Even if we disagree and had hoped things might turn out differently, we must respect your decision and wish you health and happiness."

As Kamea paused, Peach prepared to vehemently deny she had made any choices and express her frustrations. However, when the time came, she found she was unable to utter even a word. She glanced at Kammy, who shrugged with a semi-agreeable smile. A simple silencing spell, Kammy felt, would make everyone's job a whole lot easier and more pleasant.

"It is not a subject's place to get involved with the personal affairs of royal bodies; however, as subjects, we are concerned about peace and stability between our kingdoms. We must make sure that Your Highness at least understands the Koopa King's position on the matter."

Peach sat in forced, angry silence at Kammy directed Kitty and Kamea to insert a video into the tape player in Peach's room. As the screen flickered to life, the face of a glowering young Bowser appeared, and Kamek turned off the lights for dramatic effect. He rather liked this video.

"And what's this dumb thing?" Bowser asked, taking a swat at the camera and missing.

The camera panned to reveal a much younger looking Kamek, who was piloting the Koopa Cruiser. "That would be a Paracamera, Young Lord. It will be present to ensure you won't be getting into any more mischief. After those fine presents you left in my hat, I feel it may be necessary to keep a closer eye on you, particularly while we are out travelling."

Bowser sniffed in annoyance, "If you think that little camera is gonna stop me from doin' anything I want, you've got another thing coming, Mekky."

The Magikoopa rolled his eyes and resumed piloting the copter in silence. Soon bored of the peace and quiet, Bowser whined loudly "So why do we have to go see this Princess Poop anyhow?"

"It's Princess Peach, My Lord, and we must be on our finest behavior. As I've told you at least a dozen times before, since the passing of your esteemed mother and father, we need the help of allies more than ever. The Mushroom Kingdom is a place of minor military might, but of considerable wealth."

Bowser let out a huge yawn to show Kamek that he found this explanation boring. Kamek narrowed his eyes and resumed talking with a grittier tone of voice. "Also, we have given the kingdom good reason to ally with our enemies; our quest for military power using the Star Children did not go as fortuitously as we might have hoped. In short, we are here to seek propitiation for the kidnapping of their princess in some meetings."

"But why do I have to be there? I didn't kidnap any smelly baby, you did!"

"You have to be there because you're the current head of state. You are going to present the princess with that toy you've got in your hands as a gesture of goodwill."

Bowser eyed the Buzzy Beetle plush in his hands indignantly. Finally something good to complain about! "But I want it! I'm not giving this to her, this is mine!"

"My Lord, you have several at home and we don't have time to get another one right now. You will give that to Princess Peach."

"I don't wanna! It's mine! You can't make me! I'm the king; you're not the boss of me!"

"Sire? Do you still want to be the king when you grow up?"

"Of course!"

"Well do you want to rule a kingdom of people, or have a few plush toys?"

Bowser sighed and rolled his eyes. He understood. "Fine, you better not screw up those meetings."

Peach looked down at her hands as the video skipped forward. None of her subjects had ever told her that Buzzy was from Bowser. Some apology that was, it doesn't seem like anyone from the Darklands learned any lessons about kidnapping princesses.

The next clip in the video showed a close up of Young Bowser's face peering in at what was ostensibly his first peek at a human baby, swaddled in pink fabrics and gurgling to herself. He turned to Kamek with a look of disgust. "Does it even talk?" he asked. He was disappointed, as he had never seen a princess or a human before and had hoped that they would be good to play with.

"No, My Lord, she is but a few months old. Why don't you give her your present?" urged Kamek, on his most pleasant behavior in front of a Mushroom Chancellor.

Bowser rolled his eyes and peeked over the crib. "Hey. Hey you little princess baby thing…do you want a toy? It was gonna be mine but now I'm gonna give it to you because I'm bigger than you and have more toys than you." He looked at the baby, halfway expecting her to challenge his statement so that he may have an excuse to argue with her. Instead, she reached out her hand for the toy.

"Oh you do want it?" he smirked at the pathetic gesture; Kamek said he had to give her the toy, but he never said when. He held it just out of the princess' grasp until Kamek shot him a hard look.

"Oh fine," he muttered dejectedly, placing the plush into her tiny wet grasp. He watched in revulsion as she stuffed the entire head of the Buzzy Beetle in her mouth and gummed it contentedly, thick drool coating the fuzzy exterior. "Gross baby…"

Peach shook her head as scene after scene went by of different Darklandian visits to the Mushroom Kingdom while she was an infant. Beyond showing what a brat Bowser had been when he was young; she could not understand the significance of the video and why the retainers had been so insistent on her watching it.

The film now cut to a later visit. Peach was now a small toddler, still much more comfortable crawling than walking. By contrast, Bowser was a rambunctious young child who was interested in watching violent television programs and smashing his toys together in "contests" to see which one would break first. He now sat bored in a large playpen area looking numbed by a person on the television in a large, puffy Yoshi costume spewing out songs about familial love and educational facts.

The Princess was busy crawling about collecting noisy toys and rattles to shake. Bowser was in a bad mood and the incessant noise was beginning to get on his nerves. At last, Peach found her large, pink, watermelon lollipop and stuck it in her mouth, instantly earning the attention of her Koopa companion. Baited by the smell of the candy, he took the lollipop from her mouth in a childish display of might.

Predictably, the baby princess began to wail with the intensity of lovelorn banshee forever separated from her true love by the mists of time and death. Bowser stood stunned, unsure of what to do; he had heard her cry before, but never like this. Worried that someone might come along and figure out he had taken her candy, he quickly returned the lollipop to its rightful owner's hand.

To his surprise, this did not stop the crying. All the wailing was giving him a serious headache. Suddenly angry about the pain she was causing him, he screamed at the top of his lungs, "Stop crying, you stupid baby!"

To this outburst, Peach suddenly began to cry louder than before. Bowser lowered his head and covered his ears, trying to block out the awful noise. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain on the top of his head; the baby was pulling his hair! He roared with pain and outrage. Somehow, the expression on his face seemed to make the princess stop crying and start laughing.

At first, Bowser was angry that she had pulled his hair, but he soon discovered that he had some power in this playpen; that is, he could make the princess laugh by hurting himself. He spent the rest of the afternoon making Baby Peach spontaneously burst into fits of laughter by dropping blocks and other toys on himself.

When he had finally tired himself of that game, he sat bored, once again. This time, the princess crawled up and forcibly stuffed her used lollipop in Bowser's mouth and hugged him as one might embrace a large stuffed animal. Bowser nearly melted with the sweetness of it all. The candy was one of the most delicious things he had ever tasted and since his mom had passed away, hardly anybody took the time to hug him and he had very few playmates that Kamek did not hire primarily as living sacrifices to his destructive play practices. He still loved to be mean, but this was okay too, if only occasionally.

Peach wanted to ask what the point of this video was supposed to be. Were they going to tell her that because she gave their king a lollipop when she was a baby that they were obviously "meant to be" and belonged together?

Kamek noticed the princess getting fidgety and urged Kitty to fast-forward to the important bit. He knew he must not lose the princess' attention. As the video skipped past various adventures between the young royals, Kamek narrated. "As you can see, His Highness and yourself became fast friends and enjoyed many afternoons together. The young prince even went so far as trying to kidnap you, with some interesting results. Fixing the space-time continuum after that ordeal was...tricky. In any case, I am sure this may come as something of a surprise to you. Our purpose tonight, is to show you where it all went wrong."

The film slowed to a normal pace as the screen showed Peach, who appeared to be just a little younger than school age. She stood in a simple pink dress, impeccably groomed with sweet little bows in her hair and a wide-eyed expression as she talked with her good friend Bowser.

The Koopa certainly seemed excited to tell her something. While he was reasonably older than she was, Peach seemed relatively smart and mature for her age. Coupled with Bowser's immaturity and lack of other viable playmates, the age disparity mattered less than it otherwise might.

"Peach, listen! Do you know what 'arranged marriage' is?"

The blond child shook her head and waited for him to tell her, as she knew he always would.

"I've been spying on Kamek again with my super awesome sneaky parasol toy. He said arranged marriage is when you have a wedding with me and come live at my castle."

Peach looked at him, somewhat puzzled.

"Isn't that great? One day, we're going to get married, then I'll be the king and you can be the queen and we'll rule the kingdom!"

Peach shook her head violently. "No, you're wrong; I'm going to marry a prince, not you."

Taken aback, he responded, "I am a prince, well, I'm really the king, that's even better! Don't you want to come live at my castle?"

Peach was indignant, "You're not a real prince; you're too bumpy and spiky. Grandma says I'm going to marry a real prince, so we can't have a wedding, we don't even have any cake."

"I—I am a real prince!" he yelled. "It doesn't matter; you have to marry me, that's what Kamek said so just…get used to it!"

Peach's eyes started to well with tears. She was supposed to marry a real prince; it was not fair. She did not want to have a wedding with Bowser and live in his castle. She wanted to live in her castle with her Grandma, Toadsworth, and all of her toys. She had made up her mind; she would not marry Bowser. She ran screaming into the room in which all of the Mushroom and Darklandian officials were going over their agreements, documents, and strategies.

"I won't! I won't, I won't, I won't!" she screamed, almost unintelligibly.

"You won't what, Poppet?" Toadsworth asked, trying to soothe the princess in this embarrassing scene.

"Bowser said that I had to have a wedding with him and live at his castle forever and I won't! Never ever!"

Peach continued to howl while the Mushroom retainers worked fruitlessly to assure her that there would be no weddings any time soon. The Darklandian officials stood around nervously; the news about the arranged marriage was not supposed to reach the children until a much later time when they would be better equipped to handle the information, and perhaps more enthusiastic.

At last, the king himself cradled his young daughter in his arms. Her nonsensical babble about "real princes" and what was "fair" barely reached his ears. His only daughter was obviously very upset about the proposition, and though she was not yet old enough to understand it. His heart went out to her; she looked so much like her departed mother, he could not bring himself to do a single thing against her wishes. When the princess had been comforted and sent on her way, the king advised the Darklandian council that there would be no further talk of any arranged marriages, now or in the future.

Bowser and the robotic Paracamera that followed him had seen the entire scene from behind a corner. As Kamek and Bowser journeyed home in the Koopa Cruiser, Bowser muttered darkly, "Do we still need them?"

"The Mushroom Kingdom's wealth is a great asset to have backing the Darklands, but they are not vital; why do you ask, My Lord?"

"Because, as king, I forbid you from ever going to that place ever again. You will never take me back to see that spoiled brat of a princess."

"Sire, she is but a child…"

"Shut up, Kamek! What I say goes."

Kamek nodded sadly and reached to disable the Paracamera.