A/N: Wow, we're getting so close to the end of the story, I can almost taste it! There may be one or two more chapters after this one, but I don't foresee any more than that! You guys have been so terrific; thank you for all of your reviews!

Also, thanks to those that voted in my little poll. The results were overwhelmingly in favor of a Bowser and Peach adventure story, which would be another long one like this. If you have any suggestions regarding unique worlds for Bowser and Peach to visit or anything else you'd want to see, let me know right away, as I'm compiling ideas and writing my outline very soon. I may start up my collection of 100 oneshots at the same time though, because writing a oneshot is a lot easier than writing a chapter when your schedule is packed to the gills with school and other life stuff.

Thanks again everyone and enjoy the chapter!

Kamek banged on the door of Bowser's private study. "Uh, sire! There is important news, can I come in?"

Bowser narrowed his eyes at the noise and shouted, "Come in."

Kamek bounded into the room, full of energy and twittering with nervousness. "So, My Lord, I seem to have forgotten the address of the Mushroom Castle, you know, when you get old you forget stuff. It happens. So, um, can you give me the address? Please?"

Bowser heaved a great sigh and looked into his youngest son's eyes; those sapphire eyes were at once the first and last things he wanted to see right now. Junior was not exactly a master of disguise; sure, the figure looked like Kamek, but Junior just did not have the mental sophistication to sound like Kamek or the patience to act like Kamek.

"Kamek," he started with a sneer in his voice, "come over here. I know just what you're talking about when you mention getting older. Is your vision getting blurry too?"

Moving closer, Junior replied, "Oh yes, that's why I wear these big, thick glasses all the time, otherwise I'd be blind."

"A little closer if you please Kamek. You know how when you get old it gets harder to hear things?"

"Oh of course," Junior replied, taking another step forward, "it's all this dang hair in my ears, if I just had the time to pluck it all out, I could hear all the nasty things the Koopalings say behind my back. Then I could punish 'em real good."

"Kamek, pray tell, for what do you need the address to the Mushroom Castle?"

"Oh, um…routine…spy search…"

"Hm, well never mind that, I've found it, here on my desk. Come closer so I can read it to you, it's hard to yell across a room. You know how in your old age you get those dust balls in your throat every morning?"

Junior eagerly hopped over to the desk, "Oh ye—" His eyes widened in realization and fear. King Dad never has any trouble yelling across any room!

Bowser latched on to his son's arm, "Gotcha, you little nightmare!" He pulled down Junior's invisible bandana, effectively shattering Junior's illusion as the Koopaling futilely squirmed in his grasp.

Bowser's nostrils flared in supreme anger. Now that Peach had lied to him and made a fool of him, apparently his whole kingdom and even his own family thought him a laughingstock; nothing more than a naïve, trusting fool. "You lying to me son?"

"N-no, King Dad, it's not like that! You said we couldn't come into your study and we haven't seen you in da— ow ow, you're hurting my arm!"

"Suck it up, champ," he roared. "What are you trying to get the address to the Mushroom Castle for?"

Junior held out a little sheet of parchment and an envelope, "Toadette lives there and I wanted to send her a letter to see if she wants to be pen pals!"

Bowser narrowed his eyes and growled. "Idiot! Don't you know that girls are stupid? If you tell her you want to be her friend, her "pen pal", she'll abuse your feelings. You'll be dedicated to sending her letters while she's off finding someone else to love!"

"That's not true! I know she only plays pretend with herself. She's lonely, King Dad!"

Bowser picked his son up by the shell and shook him hard. He could hardly stand to be in the same room with Junior; his biological mother's genetics and mannerisms manifested themselves in all sorts of unwelcome ways. He was an idiotic optimist and a bleeding heart. "You stupid child! You will send no letters," he screamed. "Do you understand me?"

Tears began to form in Junior's eyes, "But…"

"Stop crying, you pathetic excuse for a Koopa! How could I have raised a son who turned out to be such a crybaby? Get out of here and come back when you have learned to behave like a real Koopa. Come back when you're ready to act like my son!"

Junior scampered out of the room, wailing and shedding huge tears, all the while hating himself for crying in front of his father. During the long trip down the stairs and back to his room, he grew angry and indignant. He was a proper Koopa; he was his father's son, and he would prove it.

He took out his sheet of parchment and his favorite green apple scented marker and began drafting his letter to Toadette. When he was finished, he called in a Parakoopa.

"Poco, I need your help on a super secret mission! I have a bet with a friend about how fast a Parakoopa can fly. She doesn't think any Parakoopa can make it to the Mushroom Kingdom an hour or less. You're the fastest Parakoopa I know, so I need you to take this letter to my friend as proof that I'm right and she's wrong."

Poco smiled and stretched his wings. Finally, some recognition! He always knew he was fast, but to hear a member of the royal family had noticed, well, that was a great honor! "Under an hour you say? Don't worry My Lord; you can count on me! Who is this friend in the Mushroom Kingdom and what does she look like?"

"Her name is Toadette, she's got a pink mushroom and some pink hair and she lives in the Mushroom Castle. She's pretty, so don't be getting any ideas."

"Oh, um, of course not, Your Highness. You can count on me! I will make it to the Mushroom Kingdom and I will find this Toadette in the Mushroom Castle!"

Junior took a deep breath and sat on his bed. His father's words about not acting like a proper Koopaling still stung. Even though he had disobeyed in retaliation, he still did not feel like he had proven himself a true Koopaling. Strengthening his resolve, he gathered a few items in a backpack and casually strolled out of the castle, utilizing a few secret passageways to get around the highly guarded areas. Once outside of the castle, he took off running though the forest that separated the Mushroom Kingdom and the Darklands.

Peach and Pauline sat side by side, going over wedding details. Peach had once again immersed herself in planning duties in order to forget the emotional turmoil she felt whenever she was alone and undistracted. Planning the wedding of the Mushroom Kingdom's hero also served to give her a break from political lessons and meetings.

"Ciao ladies!" Luigi called, stepping into the room.

"Hi Luigi," returned Peach. "What do you think? Should we go with aqua bridesmaid dresses or more of a periwinkle?"

"Ah, peri-wha? Oh, colors. How about you match them to Pauline's eyes? You know, from back there, you two look like twins! The eyes are the only way to tell you apart!"

The two girls rolled their eyes, it seemed like everyone and their brother had told them how similar they looked to one another; however, when they looked at each other, they felt they looked nothing alike.

Pauline stood up from the table, obviously stressed from the high volume of planning. "Well, that settles it. No offense Princess Peach, but I don't think I can hear that line about twins one more time. I'm going to go to the salon and get all my hair cut off!"

Peach looked at Pauline with a shocked face. Was she really going to make such a radical change right before her wedding?

Pauline smiled knowingly, "I'm only kidding, but I am going to go get it colored back to the preshow color. I'm just not cut out to be a blond bombshell, I have no idea how you do it!"

As Pauline exited the castle, Daisy appeared, exiting a shiny red sports car. "Whoa! Peach, you're looking smoking hot! Did you get a new bra or something; your rack looks amazing!"

Pauline grappled to find the correct words to answer Daisy as the real Peach walked out to greet her boisterous cousin.

"Oh, Peach, there you are. Wait, what's going on here, who's this?"

Finally finding her voice, Pauline answered, "Hi, I'm Pauline, Mario's fiancée."

Daisy's eyes widened comically. What in the Underwhere is going on here? I leave the Mushroom Kingdom for a few weeks and Mario replaces Peach with another blonde with a bigger chest? What a pig! "Well, it's very nice to meet you…Pauline."

As Pauline took her leave, Daisy practically dragged Peach back into the castle by her wrist. It was time to figure out what was going on.

Meanwhile, a Parakoopa circled the castle looking for Toadette. He was fifteen minutes early, but knew he could still fall short of his goal if he did not find the Mushroom girl quickly.

Pauline sat in her salon chair, a nervous wreck. She had never expected all of this to happen so quickly. She looked at herself in the mirror, her hair covered in shining foil. I hope this coloring doesn't ruin my hair.

"Excuse me," she called to the salon owner. "Can we add in a deep conditioning treatment? I'm worried my hair will feel like straw after all of this."

The Mushroom girl nodded, flipping her black straightened hair into her eyes. The neon glow of her wild rainbow Mushroom hat was obviously artificial, but at the same time made her look amazing, like a rock star.

"I'm so stressed," she finally sighed to the girl, who was hard at work, filing her fingernails. "Wedding planning is such hard work and I can't shake the feeling that I'm making a mistake."

"Getting married, eh? Yeah, my sister got married last year and she felt the same way. All that planning is a killer. By the time my sister was done with it all, she could barely remember the name of her groom!"

Pauline sighed. What if Mario did not have enough time for her? She knew one day she would like to have a family, but she had no idea how many children she would like. For that matter, she had no idea how many children Mario would like. "I used to know him so well, back when we were younger. Now, I feel the same attraction but, I also feel like I hardly know him at all."

"I know what you mean. Men are strange, they feel like they're starting to get older and they change. My sister's husband used to work the graveyard shift, and she worked in the daytime. They hardly ever saw each other and they were more like roommates than they were like spouses. They hardly ever talked and when they finally did, she felt like he had changed so much that he wasn't even the same man she fell in love with."

"What happened to your sister?"

"Oh, they're divorced now. Turns out he was cheating on her the entire time. The whole graveyard shift thing? A total lie; he was out sleeping around and working maybe four hours a day in the afternoons. What a fungus! After hearing about that, I decided to take a break from dating. It's been a whole year and I've never felt better. I just stick to dealing with girls and men who are interested in men; it's so much easier that way. At least you always know exactly where you stand."

Pauline sighed again. Just thinking about going back to the Mushroom Castle for more wedding planning was enough to make swearing off men very tempting. Pauline imagined herself running away to an island to live with a tribe of strong, beautiful women who never thought about men. "I think I like men too much to do that."

"Oh, I know what you mean, it's not easy. I mean, sometimes this cute little accountant guy comes by the salon to get his eyebrows done. He always looks so embarrassed in his little suit and tie; I know he works at the downtown office of PriceWigglerhouseKoopas, he's adorable."

The Mushroom girl offered a few shades of polish from Pauline to choose. Pauline opted for a red crushed glitter, something to boost her confidence while she felt so low. "There are so many good men out there," said the salon owner, "maybe you shouldn't be so eager to limit yourself to just one. You're still young, after all. You only get one life and, let's face it, once you're married, a certain part of that life is over!"

Pauline considered what the salon owner was saying and knew she was right. How could she, in good faith, marry Mario when she was having doubts? It was her only life, after all, and Mario's life for that matter. It would not be fair to him. "You're right…I'm going to call him. You're absolutely right, I can't do this."

"Well, why don't you think about it a little more? I think your hair should be done processing now, so let's get these foils out and when we're done here you can make your decision."

The next morning, Peach arose from another sleepless night. Looking into the mirror, she was displeased to find dark circles under her eyes. She took a drink from the water bottle on her nightstand and put her special cucumber extract vanishing cream on her eyes to brighten them a little.

Today, she was going to meet with Pauline, Mario and Tace T. to discuss the wedding cake. She looked sullenly at the blue dress hanging in her wardrobe. As soon as Pauline declared her the maid of honor, the fastest tailors in the kingdom had worked to construct a beautiful bridesmaid's dress. It was not as though she did not wish to be the maid of honor; however, she had conflicting feelings about being a bridesmaid at Mario's wedding.

As Peach arrived at the crowded bakery, she spotted Mario standing outside, alone and bleary-eyed.

"Hello Mario! Where's Pauline?"

Mario shook his head sadly and solicited a hug from Peach. He showed her a message on his mailbox SP to answer her question.

"Oh my Stars, Mario, I am so, so sorry! She just sent you an e-mail and skipped town? This is horrible!"

Mario gave Peach a feeble look. He felt as if his heart were shattering and it was hard to hear Peach repeat the details of his misfortune.

"I'm so sorry Mario. I don't know what we'll do now."

"Excuse me sweetie," Tace T. approached Peach and Mario sympathetically. "I couldn't help but overhear. Oh Mario, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation."

"Thank you, Tace. I suppose we won't need your services after all, what a shame. In fact, I have no idea what we will do with all of the things we already ordered. Most of it can't be sent back; this is all very inconvenient."

"I understand, but I actually may have a solution to your problem. I know a couple, Raz and Rani, who are looking to hold a ceremony to rededicate their vows. They don't have a lot of money, but I'm sure they could at least partially reimburse you. Their love is so true; I know they would be happy with whatever you might provide.

"Raz and Rani? Mario, isn't that the couple who's wedding was ruined because of Booster in Marrymore?"

Mario shook his head affirmatively.

"Why, those two deserve a proper ceremony. When you see them again, please tell them that the Mushroom Castle will host their ceremony, free of charge."

"I will do that! Thank you so much, Princess, you are incredibly generous. Again, Mario, I am so sorry for what happened. Please let me know if there is anything else I can do for you."

Daisy wandered about the Mushroom Castle's halls aimlessly. Luigi had gone to take Mario for a "Guys Night Out" and Peach had kept herself in a perpetual flurry with details of the ceremony and her regularly scheduled political meetings.

Those boys better not get into any monkey business on their little "guys night". Mario might be single now, but Luigi is a taken man. In her boredom, Daisy began to wonder if Luigi would take Mario to any…unsavory places.

She did not like the idea of Luigi looking at other girls in that way; not because she was insecure, but because she felt the whole process was inherently desensitizing and degrading. If looking at just me isn't good enough for him, then it's his loss!

Furthermore, the thought of two brothers going to a place to be mutually aroused by undulating women as a "bonding experience" seemed, to her, inherently incestuous. In any case, she hoped Luigi would have the good sense to know such an act would offend her.

In her musings, she caught sight of a partially opened door. The room was completely empty except for Toadette, who had her back turned to the door while happily grasping some parchment.

"Hey Toadette!"

The sudden voice startled the young Mushroom, who instantly leaped to her feet and refolded her letter.

"What's up? What's that paper?"

"N-Nothing much; it's nothing, just a note from…my cousin," she stuttered. "Actually, I should be going, I think my break's over and I'm supposed to be helping the gardeners rake the courtyard. Um, gotta go; see ya!"

Daisy watched in confusion as Toadette edged by her and scampered down the hallway. That was weird. As Daisy continued her lackadaisical self-guided tour of the Mushroom Castle, she could not shake the suspicion that there were a lot of things going on about which she was not informed.

Meanwhile, satisfied that she had found a safe place in the garden where she would not be bothered, Toadette settled in and reread her letter.

Dear Toadette,

I am writing this letter because I wanted to know if you want to be my pen pal. Please say yes. I am home for the summer but I don't get play with King Dad because he is in his room all day long and won't let us come in. Everyone is sad about it and thinks maybe King Dad is sick. I am learning how to make milkshakes. Do you like milkshakes? Circle one: yes or no. If yes, then you should come over to my castle and I will make one for you, they are really good and I can make chocolate and vanilla. Okay, that is all I have to say in this letter. Now you write one back, that's how it works.

-Bowser Junior

P.S. King Dad says that I should tell you that you are my girlfriend so that you don't get confused. Do you think it's allowed for you to be my girlfriend and my friend too? I would like that very much.

Toadette clutched the paper to her chest and sighed. Sure, the letter was goofy and the penmanship was less than elegant but she had never been anyone's girlfriend before. Does that mean that my boyfriend is a prince? Toadette giggled at the thought of the word "boyfriend". Perhaps she was more like a princess than she had previously thought.

Peach buried her head in her hands. She wanted to scream. Sanctions, threats of embargo, and exorbitant tariffs were the topics of the latest Mushroom Political meeting.

How could Bowser do this to us? The favorable trade agreements made earlier in the year had caused many Mushrooms to open shop or otherwise become dependent on the Darklandian economy. The Darklands was a wealthy nation with many potential customers for Mushroom firms. Furthermore, it was the leading global producer of various minerals, including most of those used for construction purposes.

Peach rubbed her eyes as she imagined what a political and economic stir these acts would cause. For all the fledgling businesses that would inevitably suffer and go out of business, there could be riots in the streets!

"This is just the way the Darklandians have always been milady," said an economic adviser softly. "They lure you in with false promises of prosperity, use your kingdom's resources for their own ends, and just when you feel you can trust them, they begin shutting you down and making ultimatums. They'll cooperate as long as they're getting what they want out of a situation; but eventually it gets to be too much for any country, no matter how wealthy, and then the agreement is over and the leaders are left to pick up and salvage the broken mess that's left behind."

Peach sighed heavily; it sounded a whole lot like her personal relationship with Bowser. He was always nice so long as he was getting what he wanted from me. Now that he isn't, he's back to his old ways, but even worse.

When Peach had learned that Mario intended to marry Pauline, she had thought about informing Bowser somehow. However, her pride and hurt feelings had gotten in the way of contacting him. How could she possibly know what to say to an angry Koopa King who was purportedly in love with her? Now, she had resigned herself; she would not attempt to contact him. She was angry with him and his destructive and childish attempt at revenge. She rationalized that her love life was still none of his business and that if he was going to be so juvenile about the situation, he had no right to know. Let him be worried; he seems to have no problem worrying me. This isn't love; this is blackmail.

However, more than being angry, she was very sad. She had truly hoped that the Mushroom Kingdom and the Darklands could finally operate peacefully with one another. Most of all, she felt almost heartbroken that Bowser would abuse her, her kingdom, and her people thusly; all because of a misunderstanding. She trusted him, and now that times were rough, the void left by his absent support was big enough to consume Peach's heart.

Bowser himself had little or no interest in politics these days, but had enough motivation to sign as many non-agreements with the Mushroom Kingdom as possible; the essential idea being that he wished to do everything in his power to increase the pressure on the new "King Mario" and his queen in hopes that the stress might drive them apart. It was a long shot and more than a little underhanded but, feeling backed into a corner, Bowser felt that was all he had left.