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Deacon opened his eyes, staring straight up at the ceiling. He was sober. For the first time in days, and he wasn't so sure he liked it.

"Uncle Deacon! You're up!" Scarlett tweeted in her sing songy voice from the nearby chair.

"Yeah Darlin', I'm awake." He said gruffly through his parched throat.

He loved Scarlett, but he wasn't ready to chat idly like everything was fine. Like his whole world hadn't been turned upside down in the past three days. Scarlett was rambling on a mile a minute about something, but Deacon wasn't paying much attention. He was stretching and contracting his hand, working through the stiffness that had formed while he slept. He was still doing it when Coleman walked in the door.

"Hey man, you're looking a little under the weather."

"Well I'd look better if my sponsor had gotten rid of all the booze in my apartment."

He'd meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but when he saw the look on Coleman's face he could tell his friend hadn't taken it that way.

"Sorry Deacon, I let you down. I'm so used to you being sober, making it through another day, that I forgot the first rule of being a sponsor…never trust an addict."

"Nah, they tell me I'm a sly bastard, so no wonder I put one over on you."

"Oh is that what they tell you?"

They both laughed a little, and it felt good, but it felt wrong. How could he laugh, have his normal rapport with Coleman when Rayna was gone. Tucked in a metal drawer in the morgue. The light that shined so bright in his presence permanently extinguished.

Scarlett must have noticed the look on his face because she was soon back to talking.

"What's wrong Uncle Deacon? Do you want me to get the nurse? Fluff your pillow, foot massage?"

"Foot massage?!"

"This magazine Gunnar has said that they're very therapeutic."

"You need to stop reading Gunnar's girlie magazines Darlin'."

She smiled shyly and shifted in her chair. "Well they've been distracting. All I've done for the last day and a half is sit here and fend off the press."

Deacon was suddenly back to somber. "They been asking about Rayna?" It even hurt to say her name.

At this Scarlett got quiet. She hadn't meant to bring up the press, bring up something that would lead to the inevitable conversation about what really happened the other night.

"Do they know she was driving? Are they saying she was drunk, cause she wasn't?"

With this Coleman interrupted. "Don't worry about what the press thinks. You just need to concentrate on getting better and getting out of here."

He thought what a joke, people concerned about him, his well being when this was all his fault. He felt ashamed that they were even asking about him, but then he remembered his little girl.

"How are the kids taking it? How's Maddie?"

"They're with Rayna, Teddy said he couldn't keep the girls away."

At this Deacon was shocked, "He let them see the body?! A 9 year old and a 13 year old! What is wrong with that guy?"

"The body? Uncle Deacon what are you talking about? Rayna's in the room next door. She's in pretty bad shape but she's breathin and everything."

Deacon couldn't believe his ears, when he felt her pass out in his arms the other night he was sure that was the last time he'd ever hold her. In that moment he had let go of all the anger he'd felt towards her for the past two days and let himself be consumed by his love for her. He wasn't sure what to do with the knowledge that she was alive, and potentially going to be ok. Was he still mad? How could he not be? She kept his child from him for over a decade.

"Oh, thank god. I mean, for the kids' sake."

Coleman smiled, "You don't have to pretend you don't love her, we all know you do. You're not fooling anyone."

Deacon sighed. He just wasn't sure how to act. He was relieved, he had the urge to rush next door and see her, but he knew he wasn't ready to do that either.

"Can you let me know when she's awake? I just want to be updated on how she's doing. "

"Of course, we'll let you know whatever we hear."

Deacon needed some time to sort out his thoughts. The adrenaline of the night of the accident was gone and he was left with a total exhaustion of both body and mind.

"Do you guys mind if I get some rest on my own?"

"Of course not," said Scarlett. "but we'll be right outside in the waiting room if you need us."

When the door shut behind them Deacon stretched out in his bed. He had a bandage on his side, and his left leg was in a cast, but other than that he didn't feel too bad physically. Emotionally was another story. The alcohol had drowned everything out for the last few days. He was pretty sure today was Wednesday. He couldn't believe it was just this past Sunday morning that he had woken up with Rayna in his arms, pulled her close and made love to her for the third time that night. Everything had seemed so perfect. Now it felt like he could file that morning with all the rest of the mornings that ended 14 years ago when he went into rehab. No matter how much he wanted to go back to that Sunday morning, nothing would ever be the same again. He was sure of that. He turned off the light and tried to quiet the demons in his head. Luckily his body was more exhausted than his mind and sleep overtook him.

A few days later

Deacon was playing with the remote control trying to get the TV off of anything but the local public access channel when Maddie walked in the door.

"Damn TV remote, no wonder I never watch this thing."

"Hey Deacon, can I come in."

"Of course you can darlin' I'm glad you came."

When he saw her standing there looking so small and fragile Deacon realized the gravity of what he'd done. Drinking again, causing all that destruction. This wasn't just about him and his hurt pride anymore, he had a daughter. One who was standing in front of him with wide eyes filled with concern. Yeah she had Teddy, but both her biological parents were in the hospital, could have died, and despite not having raised her, she was part of his life, and always would be. No person deserves a drunk for a father, and damned if he was going to let his kid have a drunk for a father. That was the moment he knew he was back on the wagon.

Maddie hovered nervously around the door to the room.

"Come sit down, I don't bite."

As she slowly walked over to the bed he could see the tears welling up in the teenagers eyes.

"I'm so sorry Deacon, this is all my fault."

"What? No. Don't say that. This is in no way your fault."

"But if I hadn't of told you, you guys wouldn't have been fighting, and you would have never…"

Deacon cut her off. "Nonsense. What happened to your mamma and I is in no way your fault. It has everything to do with my inability to handle things the way I should be handling them.

As you grow up you'll see that life is always going to throw you curveballs, and the way that you handle those curveballs determines what kind of person you are. I didn't handle this curveball so well, in fact, you handled it much better than I did. I guess you get that from your mamma. She's always been the level headed one."

A small smile curled up at the edges of Maddie's lips.

"Now, I know that you have Teddy and he's your daddy, but I've loved you since the day you were born, and that's never going to change."

"I don't even know what to call you? Should I still call you Uncle Deacon?"

"You can call me whatever you want."

Maddie looked like she was thinking long and hard. "I think I'll still call you Deacon for now."

Deacon laughed, "That'll be fine with me."

Deacon wasn't sure he should ask the next question, but his curiosity got the best of his pride. "How's your mamma doing?"

"You haven't seen her? She's ok. Not walking so well, but the doctor said with physical therapy she should be able to walk without crutches someday.

'Someday,' that word hit him like a ton of bricks. She wasn't going to be able to walk, not for a while, maybe never again without crutches. He might never see her perform again in those tall high heels, strutting her stuff around the stage, high kicking during Wrong Song. He felt sick to his stomach, but he pulled it together for Maddie's sake.

"That's great news."

"Aren't you going to visit her? She's just in the next room."

"Yeah, of course. As soon as I get out of this bed."

Deacon wasn't sure he meant it, but he said it anyway.

"I've got to go to school, but I just wanted to stop by before I left."

"I'm real glad you did. They're letting me out of here in a couple of days. Why don't you come over on the weekend if it's alright with Teddy and I can teach you that guitar lick you were asking about last week."

At this Maddie got really excited. "Really? That would be great!" She placed a small kiss on his cheek, then bounded out of the room and down the hall. Despite the circumstances Deacon felt better than he had in days.

Deacon picked up the remote again and continued to fiddle with the box, but he knew it was only a distraction from the decision he had to make. He had known all week that Rayna was just on the other side of the wall, so close that sometimes at night he imagined he could hear her breathing through the vent. He wanted to go to her, stroke her hair, hold her hand, tell her everything was going to be alright, but every time he made the decision to hoist himself out of the bed on his good leg his pride got in the way and he stayed put.

Later that day

He drifted back to sleep, only waking up when he heard the banging of metal crutches trying to make their way through his hospital doorway. He looked up and there she was. No make up, glasses on, her usual vibrant red hair was stringy around her face, and he still thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Damn, why did she have this hold over him. Maybe she was his strongest addiction after all.

Rayna moved in a little further towards his bed, "I was starting to wonder if you were ever going to come and see me so I thought I'd take matters into my own hands."

Deacon resisted the desire to smile at her. Instead he concentrated on the part of him that felt tired and apathetic, which seemed to be a huge part since the accident. "Well, that's the way you've always done things, so why should now be any different."

Rayna hobbled over and sat down next to him on the bed. "Are you ever going to forgive me?"

The look in her eye was sad and pleading. It would have been a lie if he said it had no affect on him, but he wasn't ready to let bygones be bygones quite yet.

"For the accident? It wasn't your fault. I shouldn't have been drinking."

"That's not what I mean and you know it."

He did know it, but he was avoiding the topic as long as he could.

"I don't know Ray, I'm just not sure."

Rayna got quiet and shook her head acknowledging that she understood he needed time, but then she spoke anyway, trying to fight back a stray tear that escaped her right eye.

"I don't think I could survive if I lost you."

"Well Ray, I didn't think I would survive when I lost you 14 years ago, but I'm still sitting here."

"You never lost me! We were never…we both know you never lost me. "

Deacon knew what she meant because he was the one who'd been chasing after her for 14 years. He may not have been holding her in his arms every night, but he always knew she was still his. It's what kept him tied to her for the last 14 years, playing in her band, why he could never leave Nashville. It's why he always met up with her on the bridge or in the park the second she called and said she needed him.

Rayna tentatively reached out and grabbed his hand. The contact sent a jolt of electricity running through his body. "I love you Babe, I love you so much."

There was no reason to lie, they knew each other too well for that. Or at least he used to think they did.

"I love you too Ray, I'm just not sure what to do with that right now."

Deacon pulled his hand away from hers and rubbed the scruff on his face with it.

"I'm just going to need some time."

"I'm fine with giving you time. I just don't want it to be the rest of our lives. I feel like we've already wasted so much of it."

"Who's fault is that Ray? I'm not the one that kept us apart all these years. " He started to talk again, but he could feel himself getting more upset than he wanted to show, so he stopped himself. They sat in silence for a moment, and then finally Deacon spoke.

"Maddie came to see me."

"Oh?"

"She was concerned about me. I'm going to have to get used to that."

"She's not the only one you know."

"I know," he said solemnly then sat for a while. "I thought I might try out the role of father for a change. I invited her over for some guitar lessons this weekend. Do you think Teddy will protest?"

"I'll talk with Teddy, don't worry about it. Plus he knows that he can't stop Maddie from doing something when she sets her mind to it. She's stubborn as a mule."

"She gets that from you."

"Me? She gets that from you. I don't think I've ever met anyone as stubborn as you."

"Well that girl has no hope with two parents as stubborn as us."

It was a nice moment and they both knew it. They smiled at each other sweetly and it felt good, but Deacon wasn't ready for that yet. He still had so much anger, so much regret, and he had to work through that on his own.

"The doc says I can leave tomorrow, what about you?"

"Probably next week when I'm not tripping over my feet every third step."

Where you staying when you get out of here?"

"With Tandy. Daddy tried to convince me to stay with him, but somehow I don't see him in the role of nursemaid."

Another laugh, another smile…just like old times.

"Well, maybe you, me, and Maddie can have dinner together when you're felling up to it.

"I'd really like that. Well, I'll hobble on out of here and let you get some rest." As Rayna turned to leave Deacon called out after her.

"Hey."

Deacon could see the look of hopefulness on her face, as if this "Hey" meant the same thing that it meant the night they made love for the first time in years.

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself."

She looked crestfallen and he hated to see her like that, but he just couldn't give her more than that right now.

"You too."

With that she stumbled out the door on the crutches. Deacon could hear her as she struggled to make her way into the room next door. He thought he could hear the faint sound of weeping coming through the vent. It broke his heart, but then again it was already broken, so he wasn't sure he knew the difference.