Lucas stood, unseen, in the doorway to the kitchen. He idly watched his family. His three beautiful girls.

Fourteen days had past and a sense of normality was still yet to be found. Erin had started school again and although they'd managed to establish a routine of sorts they were all struggling to look forward to the future, each of them stuck yearning for a life they'd once shared. There were good days and there were bad days. Today, so far, was a good day and Lucas revelled in every second because it could change at any given moment.

Erin was slouched against the sideboard, keenly watching Peyton fill a beaker with juice. It had quickly become her favourite past time- watching Peyton. Her days of being mute were definitely over, she wasn't excessively communicative and albeit it was a slow process but with a little encouragement and extra help at school she was saying a little more each day.

She clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth and Peyton smiled down at her. 'Are you okay missy?'

Erin nodded with a silly smile of her own.

'Here, can you give this to Sawyer for me and I'll get you some milk and a cookie'

Erin skipped over to the high chair and carefully handed her little sister her juice cup. Sawyer babbled at her between noisy swigs of her drink and dipping her other hand in her bowl of oatmeal. Erin dutifully laughed at her sister and turned her nose up when a little mucky hand reached out to her, offering her some of the soggy mixture. 'Rin want' Sawyer insisted. Rin had quickly become Erin's new nick name, what with her little sister struggling to get the 'eh' sound out. 'Rin want'.

'I'm sure Erin doesn't want any of your breakfast Sawyer' Peyton shook her head and set Erin's milk and cookie down on the table. 'Look at the mess you're making, you mucky pup, you've got it all in your hair'

'She's funny' Erin slid onto the seat and took a gulp of her milk.

'She's a monster' Peyton laughed, wiping Sawyer's mouth and hands. 'Aren't you?'

Out of everyone, Sawyer was definitely the happiest, she'd adjusted in no time at all and was quite settled in her new home and was loving having a big sister and all the attention she was getting.

'T, t, t, t, t, t' Sawyer chanted, using her plastic spoon for the first time only it's function as a drum stick not a spoon.

Erin giggled and shook her head, slowly nibbling at the chocolate chip cookie.

'Want okie' Sawyer reached for the yummy treat that Erin had.

'Do you now?' Peyton put her hand on her hip. 'Do you think you deserve one?'

Sawyer looked at her very seriously 'Es'

'Yes? You can have one' She held up a finger to demonstrate. 'Just one'

Sawyer snatched the biscuit from her hand as soon as it was within her reach and grinned gleefully.

'What do you say?'

'Ta'

'Good girl'

'Mummy?' Erin wiped her top lip on the back of her hand and slipped from her chair, hurrying round the table and grabbing a pad and colouring pencils on her way.

'Yes?'

'Will you draw with me?' She asked sheepishly and set her things down in front of Peyton.

'I haven't drawn for a long time sweetie'

'Please' Erin pleaded.

'Ok, ok' Peyton relented, unable to stand the big green eyes looking up at her. She helped the six year old up onto her lap and kissed the Erin's head of golden hair. 'What shall we draw?'

'Daddy and you and Sawyer and me' Erin instructed.

'Okay' Peyton caught Lucas' eye for the first time and smiled shyly at him. 'How long have you been standing there?'

He shrugged.

'Come and draw Daddy'

'I can't draw'

'Mummy will teach you'

He laughed. 'Okay, just for a minute though, your aunt Haley's picking you up for school in twenty minutes' He lifted Sawyer from her high chair and took a seat next to Peyton and it was perfect, it was as it should always have been, the four of them together, smiling.

'Dadda' Lucas looked down at Sawyer and smiled ecstatically. 'Dadda' She repeated, pointing her hand wildly. He followed her little finger and his happiness evaporated. Ian Banks' face had filled the television screen, he was on the news, a piece of footage showing him being led to a police vehicle. 'Dadadadada'

Lucas snapped out of his daze and abruptly switched the tv off.

Sawyer dropped her bottom lip a this. 'Dad-da'

Lucas didn't know what to do, he wanted to yell that, that sure as hell wasn't her father but thought best of scaring the one year old.

'Sawyer' Peyton's voice startled him. 'Come here' She hoisted the upset little girl onto her hip, one handed. She'd caught a split second of what her daughter had seen. She'd seen his pale face and his serious eyes staring through the camera lens, staring at her and her hands were suddenly very clammy.

'Dadda'

'Shhh, it's okay' She met Lucas' saddened gaze. 'I'm sorry' She felt guilty for Sawyer's avid misbelief to whom her father was. The child's confusion was understandable, neither Peyton or Lucas had mentioned Ian's whereabouts and neither of them thought it to be beneficial to try and explain such things to a one year old, it wasn't as if she was ever going to understand.

'It's not your fault' He walked over to her and rubbed Sawyer's back. 'She's little, she'll forget him soon enough'

Peyton nodded silently. She was beyond thankful that when Sawyer was grown up she'd never remember any of this, that all she'd remember is being with Lucas and Erin and herself, that she'd never have these memories. But she was beyond jealous and wished desperately that she had the wonderful ability to forget too.

'Do you want to go for a walk. We could take Sawyer to the park and then pick Erin up from school on the way back.' He was itching to get out. He'd not taken or picked his little girl up from school since she'd reinstated, Haley was always taking Jamie so it really was no trouble but that wasn't why he felt guilty. Erin had been through a lot and needed her parents not her aunt taking her to school but in the morning Peyton hadn't been keen to leave the house for the past two weeks he couldn't bring himself to leave her alone.

'I, I don't feel like it today. Why don't you take her, I'm sure she'd love it'

'No it's okay, maybe we'll all go tomorrow'

'Maybe...I think I'm going to lay down for a while' She held Sawyer out to him and then she was walking out the room and he knew the day had just gone from good to bad.

'Mumma'

'Mumma's tired' Lucas sighed. He knew she'd be up there for the remainder of the day, enveloped in darkness and he didn't need know how to set her free from the chains that bound her there.

'Knock knock' Brooke craned her neck round her best friend's bedroom door.

Peyton was laying down and looked toward the distinctive voice.

'Hey P Scott' Brooke let herself in and wasted no time in opening the curtains. The light pierced through, brightening the room in a second. Peyton grimaced 'How're you?' Brooke had kept her distance, she'd made herself keep her distance and it was the hardest thing she'd ever done. Staying away from Erin had been the most painful but she'd successfully managed to bury herself in work. She'd never been more relieved when Lucas had called her half an hour ago asking her to come round though.

'I'm good, tired though.' Peyton sat up and forced a weary smile. 'I haven't seen you'

'No, I, I figured you could all need some time, just the four of you'

Peyton nodded. 'How's work?'

'Okay. Let's not talk about that'

'Why not? I'd like to know what amazing things you've done in the last two years'

'Well Erin inspired me to do a child's line' Brooke filled her in with the only development in her company.

'I noticed' Peyton admitted, she'd taken note of her daughter's new wardrobe and the clothes over bros label inside. 'You'll never know how, how much, how grateful I am- you looked after her and I know it can't have been easy'

It wasn't easy. Brooke nodded. It wasn't easy looking after a child that you feared would never have a mother again, it wasn't easy having to be strong when you were worried sick yourself but it was the easiest thing to love her, the easiest thing in the world.

'And I, I know it can't be easy not having her around now'

It was a hard adjustment but then all Brooke had to do was imagine how hard it had been for Peyton to be separated from Erin, how hard it must have been for her to have lost all that time.

'It's a lot quieter. You don't have to thank me though Peyton, You know I'd do anything for you.... I've missed two years of having my best friend' Brooke sat down on the edge of the mattress. 'I've missed you so much P' She laced her hand over Peyton's.

'I missed you too'

Brooke tilted her head and brought Peyton's hand to her lips, leaving a lingering kiss there. 'Why're you in bed?' She asked gently.

'I'm just tired'

'Luke said you've been up here a while- he's making lunch, do you want to come downstairs for something?'

'I'm not hungry'

'Luke said you've not been eating much'

'Well it seems that Luke's been saying a lot' Peyton huffed with a sigh. 'I'm not hungry'

Brooke knew when to quit it. 'Ok, ok. Well I came round here cause I thought we could sort that hair out for you cause no offense but it really doesn't look good' She smiled devilishly and Peyton laughed. 'Come on, get your skinny ass out of bed'

'Okay' Peyton complied, she liked that Brooke was addressing her as though nothing had happened. It's what everyone else seemed incapable of doing, their overly gentle voices and patronizing hugs were enough to make her want to curl up in a ball and scream.

She spent the next half an hour with her best friend, they didn't talk. Brooke most gently and carefully got out all the black colouring and with it Peyton hoped she was washing away what everyone seemed to see when they looked at her, she hoped that she was washing away Ian Banks.

'Is she coming down?' Lucas stood immediately when Brooke stalked into the kitchen.

'She's not hungry'

'She's not eating enough.' He shook his head in frustration. 'Did she seem okay to you?'

'Yeah, well she seemed more like herself than a couple of weeks ago. She just let me dye her hair back. How do you think she's doing Luke?'

'Okay' He nodded not so surely. 'I mean she's doing great' He attempted a more enthusiastic response. 'Considering everything, she's doing really great'

Brooke placed a comforting hand on his back. 'It'll take time. I guess you don't notice the changes because your with her all the time, she seems a lot better'

'I know, it's just, one moment I think she's progressing and then we take five steps back and it's just, it's hard.'

'Has she been out yet?'

'No, I, I've tried to coax her out of the house but the furthest we've got is the back yard' He exhaled. 'And I know it's ridiculous that I haven't gone to pick up Erin myself, I know it's just for twenty minutes a day but I don't feel like I can leave her on her own'

'I think it would be good for her' Brooke stated gently. 'To have a bit of time on her own Luke' She clarified gently. 'You're smothering her' Brooke said what neither Haley or Nathan had been able to say to him for the last few days. He'd literally not left her side and everyone around them could see that it wasn't going to help her in the long run.

'I know' He exhaled. 'I just, I've tried but I'm scared that I'll walk out that door and when I get back she'll be gone and I...' He trailed off and Brooke's hand made a soothing circle on his back.

'Maybe you should both speak with someone, together'

'A shrink?'

'Well yeah, you've both been through so much and no one says you've got to get through this on your own Luke, you can't both pretend that nothings happened, you can't expect to just get over this'

'She won't speak to anyone, I tried at the hospital, she won't, she...' He halted in his rant, noticing the leggy girl in the doorway. His eyes lingered on her blonde locks and she looked more like the person he'd married than ever 'Peyt'

'I don't need a shrink. I'm not speaking with anyone, I don't, I don't need to' Peyton closed her eyes. 'I know you're all just trying to help but I'm fine'

'Peyton-'

'I'm fine, I don't need babysitting twenty four seven Luke, I'm not going to do anything stupid'

'I know' He didn't know that though, in fact it was what he was terrified of. He was scared of what she'd do when she was eventually left to her own devices. He didn't know wha was going through her head, he really had no clue what state of mind she was in and he hated the not knowing because it was never like that for them. They'd always been able to read each other.

'So why don't you take Sawyer to the park and pick Erin up from school like you said you wanted to earlier' She suggested.

His dislike for this plan didn't go unnoticed. 'Okay, you could spend the afternoon with Brooke'

'No' She dismissed quickly. 'I'll be fine on my own. I don't need you all pandering over me'

Brooke and Lucas exchanged looks and Peyton tried not to show her aggravation but they eventually both surrendered. They left, taking Sawyer with them in her brand new buggy. Her face lit up as she was sat in the chair, ready for her first walk out, her first time at the park. It seemed bizarre that she'd never had these simple everyday experiences and part of Peyton wished she could watch her face as she went down a little slide for the first time and Lucas pushed her on the swing. Peyton watched them leave through the living room window, anxiety filling her chest as they all disappeared into the distance.

She was alone. She was alone as she'd so gravely wanted to be.

She edged out into the hall and her concentration fell to the front door.

She kept telling everyone she was fine and she was, to an extent anyhow. She was fine within the confines of these walls but the prospect of leaving them actually made her feel dizzy and ill.

It seemed so ridiculous that the mere thought of being able to leave a house, to come and go as she pleased, to have the freedom to make her own decisions, had thrilled her and left her day dreaming more times than she could count when she'd been under rule of Ian but now that she was free, free to do all of that, she was terrified to do so.

Her hand fingered the cold handle.

Stepping over that threshold meant accepting everything, it was an open invitation to people staring, to strangers looking and pointing at her, for people she knew to approach her and welcome her home and send her their love. It was an open invitation for questions and questions resulted with answers, answers she didn't yet have. There were questions that her husband was yet to ask and answers she was yet to give him and she couldn't even comprehend addressing those issues with him let alone the public.

She retracted her hand from the lock and backed away.

No, she couldn't walk outside. Not yet. She couldn't. For now just being with her children was enough, settling into a routine was enough but not necessarily what she needed and everyone could see that, only everyone was too fearful of what would happen if they forced her to do something she didn't want. So she sat inside, by herself, she turned the television on and flicked through the channels and sure enough the news finally appeared along with Ian and Peyton would watch entranced, she would watch the man that still had her trapped and she would question whether she belonged here any longer. Ian had said that she'd always be his, forever and always, and her biggest fear was that he was right.