Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)

Chapter 5

We walked in separately, and I quickly explained to Angela that I had found Alice. I was reminded why I loved Angela so much when she told me that she understood how much I needed to see and explain everything to the Cullens, and also said that she would stay the night in Renee's room and leave me with Alice and Ean to catch up.

When we met Alice outside she seemed even more excited if that was possible. She gave Angela a quick hug and we continued to the hotel. Angela went in and got Renee and they continued down the hall to their room, but not before Renee gave me a "you will explain this later" look that made me feel like I a little kid again.

Alice and I stopped in the front room and sat down on the couch. She looked at me curiously and it occurred to me that she could probably smell Ean. "Well, I should probably start." I said quietly, and continued to tell Alice that I was pregnant when they left.

"Pregnant?! But Bella how are you—" I was cutting her off a lot tonight, "Alice please let me finish, it will be much easier, and I admit there is a lot I can't explain either." She looked so touched when I explained about the twins and picking out their names, and she quickly pulled me to her when I started crying while explaining about tripping that horrible day in Forks.

Her face was unreadable as she listened to the rest of my story. I only left out a few things, like my nightmares and how I had felt when Edward had left, because I was trying to get my story out. "And then Angela brought me here for my birthday, and I found you."

"Oh Bella, I can't even, I'm so sorry about Jesse, and I'm so happy that your alright. I know he is probably sleeping, but can I at least look at Ean? I just hunted this morning, too." I laughed, "Alice, I trust you completely don't worry." I grabbed her hand and led her to the edge of his crib, and Alice, if she could have, would have started crying she already loved him so much.

Looking at him I realized yet again what a beautiful toddler he really was, the perfect mix of Edward and I. Oh no, there was a thought that I had not yet entertained, Edward. I may not have seen him in three years, but I remember a few things about him very vividly, his protectiveness, his unwarranted self-hatred, and his temper.

I grabbed Alice's hand and brought her back out into the small living room, sitting on the couch. "Alice, I—do you—do they..?" I bit my lip as I tried to phrase my next words the way I wanted them, while keeping my sudden emotion in check. A

lice looked back at me puzzled and laughed a hard uncharacteristic laugh; that took away from the brightness seeing Ean and I had put in her eyes. "Edward and Emmett?" I took a deep breath to steady my heartbeat, and nodded, staring at the floor. "Bella," she spoke much softer and like herself now, "they have no idea. In truth, we convinced Edward to get out of the house because no one else can bear to be around him on days like today. You said that on your birthdays, and other days that reminded you of us you went to Forks? Edward sits at his piano, without moving or playing a note, just sitting still and keeping his eyes closed. Today was especially bad, and after Jasper left and Esme started to become to upset Emmett and I brought him out here. We literally had to drag him. He wasn't paying attention and Emmett was busy with him."

I don't know what my face looked like at the end of her statement, but when Alice touched her hand to my cheek I realized that I had started crying. "Bella," she sighed, and I quickly blinked and took yet another deep breath.

"Alice, I can't believe that I drove your family apart." She started to protest,

"No, let me finish. I may not be vampire smart, but I am not stupid. When Edward was talking to me that last day, I didn't believe a word he said. In fact, I forgave him before the words were out of his mouth. I decided that he thought you were all too dangerous for me to be around, or something else equally silly. I thought that since it was his decision he would get over it, or come to his senses. When you never came back I wanted all of you to be as happy as I am now. I wanted to be a memory that you could all talk about fondly in 200 years, and wonder what ever happened to me. I never thought that your perfect family that I loved, and still love, so much would be unraveling because of me. I just—"

That was when a sob broke through, and Alice wouldn't let me continue anymore.

I am not sure how long we sat there, just thinking. I let my thoughts wander and started to wonder what happened next. I had once promised myself that love was not a one shot deal, but what did I do now? Edward was my first love, but he had left, and I had fallen in love with Luke.

Should I stay with my light, my amazing husband, who had been there for me and my son and made my life so much better?

Or do I go back to the angel of a man who dropped everything to keep me safe and was still suffering for it 3 years later?

And what about my son?

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A/N You are all seriously the coolest kids ever. (or adults? Sorry I call everyone kids, even though everyone is older then me) and lucky for me(and you) my scrimmage got canceled today=) so I had time to write! And I also think that starting with this chapter im going to reply to reviews and try to thank everyone for the alerts and favorites. Its overwhelming and I really adore all of you for it.

I'm a little stuck on my next chapter, so if you have votes or ideas, let me know! And constructive criticism is cool too if you know how I can improve. I feel like I keep getting off topic in this chapter, but I don't know.

Ok, long note over now.

-Caitlin =)