I don't own Gundam Seed (although I wish it was).
It's just that I was bored and wrote this story in my mind and decided to put it online. This is an AsuCaga fanfic and for the first time I'm using Lacus as an antagonist.
I'm not really a good writer so thank you for motivating me with the review and all
Note:
Those italized with apostrophe are words spoken
Those that are not, are character thoughts
Thanks for the reviews by the way…
So that's it Enjoy reading: D
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Eyes closed and a silk veil over her glory, blinding her from the worldly sins. Her Hands together, sheltering those who are weak .And her every being, offered, so that life may continuously live. With nothing but the light provided by the famed crystal, she raises her head in an infinite calling. She prays for the weak, for them to be protected, for the grieving, so they may be granted solace. For the lost, to find their way back home and even for a child's wound, to turn back as it was before. It has always been like this. Her life was in prayer and on prayer it shall live. And that is the reason how the feared piece of land had been able to remain constantly seated in the nearest place under the homage of Gods; she prayed for it. And will incessantly do so until the end of mankind's eternity, in her Unchanging and forever alluring form.
"Confusion"
Suddenly disrupted in her ode by a voice, she opened her eyes to catch a glimpse of the form reflected inside the Ice. And there she saw her,
"Escalus"
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And there she was, inside the gleaming crystal of Ice. With her hair as green as the meadows during spring and skin white as snow during winter, never aging, unchanging, her presence overflows with such indefinite purity more than anyone else whoever existed today, could ever have or even comprehend. She is the first sacrifice amongst those from her kind, the she who now looks at Freedert with such apathetic eyes.
"Your heart, is clouded by confusion"
"What?" the still kneeling priestess found herself to be taken aback of what she heard, making her pause her litany. It has been 15 years already since she met the famous Escalus who was then still imprisoned inside the Ice. It was her who chose Cagalli to be just like her, the puppet of the people and it was her who holds Cagalli's strings up, all these 15 years. Not a single day would pass that she wouldn't pray to her, begging Haumea in behalf of her people. And everyday in her every prayer, every time she looks at her inside the timeless Ice, she asks herself, how can a very beautiful being, more beautiful than anyone could have ever lived and will be living, can look so undeniably lifeless. Escalus' eyes bear no affect; her skin complexion imitates that of corpses and her words can only cast dead weight, bearing no emotion.
"Sorry, believe me, it wasn't in my intention to kneel in prayer like this" Escalus knew what she was thinking; so she showed her a reflection, reliving the scene that happened during the afternoon with Cagalli's kin. She was still puzzled about what her parents were talking about in the throne room back then. She was confused, she was silent in her prayer but her mind is shouting for an answer and Escalus heard its deafening plea. And now, the priestess can only apologize and sigh upon realizing what Escalus is speaking of.
"I believe in you, Freedert." Escalus reappeared with her right hand suddenly reaching out to her from inside the ice but can never do so.
"I feel what you feel in your heart"
"I conceive the things the you conceive on your mind"
"I see the things you see with your own eyes"
"I bear your heart and soul, your every being"
"I am the you inside the Second Hand of time"
"You live forever because I exist"
"And death itself is too powerless to separate us" "And death itself is too powerless to separate us"
As Cagalli spoke the last lines with her, she remembered…she remembered how the Second hand of time existed and who it was made for. It is the glass that reflects the soul of every woman entitled with the name Freedert. It is the mirror of the soul and the link to the Gods. It illuminates images of what the priestess holds in her mind, as long as the heart is pure, it remains lucent and for the people's sake, perpetually lucent it must remain. But Cagalli need not to be taught about these things, for she grew old in a life like this and to remind her of how things work would be such a futile deed to commit.
"They were talking about something" Cagalli spoke in a low voice, still in deep thought
"I know I shouldn't pry or even think about it but-"
"Even if you knew, there's nothing you could do to stop it" Escalus cut her rummaging words. If the priestess speaks words of confusion, hers was conviction, full of mystery in it. Making the priestess look down with such wonder upon what she hears from her.
"I cannot sense the future, for Haumea never willed me to"
"But breathing inside a timeless ice, with nothing to do but to link people to the Gods and observe, I've seen enough lives patterned in such similar ways and I can vow to you my Freedert, Things will fall into their rightful place, for it is in the hands of the Gods to decide and the conclusion is not ours to share" Escalus' words bore holes inside Cagalli's head, sinking deeper and deeper in each and every syllable. She thought how powerful the Gods can be, to be able to create and end one's life in a blink of an eye. And at the back of her mind, she wonders, if the Gods decided for her to live forever, then what kind future is in store for her?
"Then, could you tell me what you've been up to this morning?" after a moment of silence, Escalus decided to change the topic with a smile which made Cagalli raise her head in awe after taking a long time looking down in serious thought.
"Me? Didn't you already know what I did, this morning?" Cagalli inquired Escalus with a slight ridicule. It was how Cagalli would usually converse with Escalus. In devotion, her voice would be filled with cold seriousness but in times when Escalus would inquire such things, things outside talks about higher power, communions and pietism, Cagalli could only become a child, like a little girl talking to a very unique friend.
"Even so, I wish for you to tell me" her words express a slight plea in them. It's not that she really wanted to hear what Cagalli would speak of, for she already knew what it will be. It's just that she wants Cagalli to speak to her, disrupt the maddening calmness of the dark secluded room, make her feel she's not alone; make her feel that she still exists.
Maybe it was due to her sacrifice, that she now, holds no gold aside from their little conversations, Cagalli thought. And it was then that she started to tell Escalus her stories about going outside the castle every now and then. She told her how funny the maids would stroll in panic all over the castle; guards riding their horses in an agitated manner while she takes an excursion on one of the busiest place in town with glee, Lacrimosa. How children would laugh on such simple things and splash water amongst their friends, how delicious is the tea that her uncle serves when she's in the orphanage, how good she has become in kick ball when she plays with the kids and how Mir would become too amusing when she gets angry, for the princess' traveling clothes were too muddy to conceal her secrets of little adventures from those women on the laundry.
Every day she would talk to Escalus this way. And today's menu of discussion was her visit again in the orphanage. Cagalli just loves going to the home of abandoned angels, although it takes an ample amount of time to get there, walks were never a problem to her. She would tell these to Escalus, one by one, leaving no part of it in question and only pausing for awhile to breathe. It was like this that without her noticing, the sun has already paved way for the night.
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My breathing was hurried, my emotions ecstatic, my mind is clouded as he hovers over me. In this glorious night, with only the moon as our witness, never as a companion but always as a woman, He brings me to completion. As I lay in his bed naked, offering myself to him. I succumb to his bruising kisses, from my lips, my neck to the deepest part of my being. My fingers' sculpting motions on his hard, strong chest, His hands on my bosom causes a flicker, making me burn with desire and demand for more. I yearn for him and I'll bleed for him. It doesn't matter if I'd be damned for eternity, for committing such deeds outside of marriage, because as long as he's with me, I couldn't care less about the promises of eternity. I arched my back to his every thrust; I pull his hair, for him to kiss me until my own contentment. I want him, so bad that I'd die for it. His movements break me into fine pieces and together, as I let a cry of absolute satisfaction, we become one, reaching the peak of our pagan lust.
"Elliot"
With his name imprinted on my lips and his warm body rests next to mine. I closed my eyes and let sleep finally take over me.
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"Well, I think that's about…it" Cagalli has just finished her story with a yawn threatening to come out. Escalus Have seen signs of tiredness in her eyes so she bid her goodbye and thanked her with a final request that she also take care of herself, not only for her but for all of Neo-Verona's sake.
The room was now silent, the crystal no longer glistening, the room was dead than ever but beyond Cagalli's knowledge, Escalus was still looking from behind at her priestess' retreating figure. She looked at her intently with thoughts Cagalli couldn't even hear but could only echo through the darkness.
"I feel what you feel in your heart"
"I conceive the things the you conceive on your mind"
"I see the things you see with your own eyes"
"I bear your heart and soul, your every being"
"I am the you inside the Second Hand of time"
"You live forever because my existence is yours"
"And death itself is too powerless to separate us"
"For I shall not be alone in my suffering, my beautiful Freedert"
The doors were closed and the tincture of light that came from the outside ,when it was still ajar, was now gone. Cagalli was on the opposite side, showered with the light brought by those hanging chandeliers that was present everywhere in the castle, leaving Escalus alone, in deep darkness, with nothing but screaming silence and waiting for Freedert's arrival once again.
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"I can't believe that woman had the guts, to bail us to the queen!"
Miriallia said out loud, reaching the boiling point of her anger towards Halca. It was nighttime already when Miriallia came dashing to her room. At first Cagalli wanted to ask how did she know about it when she hasn't even told her yet but as it turns out, one of the maids present in the hall heard the queen talk about Halca before they were asked to leave the room. And now, Cagalli can only look at her while combing her hair in preparation to bed. She always sees Miriallia's words as one of her talents, for it is indeed truly a gift to be able to talk ceaselessly for 6 full minutes that even listening to it while combing a curly hair would eventually turn it straight the moment she's had enough speaking.
"I mean, don't get me wrong Freedert, but I tried to stop her, I really did" Mirillia continued with her endless chides, defending her account. But for Cagalli, she doesn't need to justify her grounds in fear of being thought of as a traitor because the princess herself has a strong faith in her, even if she lies, her faith in Mir would remain unshaken.
"Miriallia, don't you think that's enough scolding for the night, Halca's not even here, so she couldn't really hear you" Cagalli tried to calm her down with her words. She may find it amusing, but she also feels sorry for Miriallia growing tired on discussing such betrayals when the fugitive is already in her own quarters, sleeping like a rock and getting enough rest.
"Huh, She really has to sleep for the night, because when dawn breaks, so will her face" Mir's hand motioned to form a fist which only made Cagalli sigh in trying to understand her. She really couldn't stop Mir when she becomes like this but she already encountered enough trouble for the day and getting her friend into one is something she would never accept.
'I'm sure Miriallia knows the truth, a little torturing and…'
"No, don't do that Mir!" Suddenly remembering her mother's words, Cagalli suddenly urged Mir not to get too involved in such extent as reprimanding Halca. Her mother surely had plans made for Mir and she's certain that none of those plans would cause her salary to get any higher, much more letting her stay inside the castle any further.
Mir was bewildered on Cagalli's sudden jolt, her movements suddenly became stiff and her calm exterior was already breaking down. She looked into her eyes which was looking back at her intently and saw nothing but fear. She's afraid of something…or someone, Mir thought. Maybe something happened inside that throne room that she wasn't informed of.
"Its fine Mir, you don't need to do that anymore, it wasn't that bad, look I'm completely unharmed" Cagalli tried to calm herself down, she has to, if she doesn't want Mir to know the truth. So she tried putting on her best smile but despite her efforts, everything in her visage gave her away, her eyes were looking down, her lips was trembling, her fingers fidgeting and her golden locks hung loose, as if trying to conceal her true emotions in front of her face.
"Unharmed? Tell me that when your mother is the one involved" Miriallia reprimanded her. Freedert wouldn't be unharmed if the queen was the person concerned, for she always finds a way to hurt her. It may not always be physical but she always manages to torture her daughter on the inside. Whenever she would question Cagalli's thoughts about her mother, Cagalli would always defend her and say that she was still her mother despite everything that had happened and will eventually happen .And there were times when she loved her, even took care of her in the past and it's enough for her, even if they've already reduced themselves as memories of the present.
For the moment, it felt nice to look at the floor and its intricate patterns, I thought to myself. Has it always been there or were they new? I try to imagine images formed by these patterns as my eyes were still looking down on it. I can see fishes, a flower and even an elephant with a lot of monkeys on its back but none of these could ever help me answer nor escape Mir's every question about my mother, I'm also unaware of why suddenly, all the love she had for me turned into despise and complete loathing.
"I got used to it already, After all, It wasn't the first time that she did this to me, you are clear of that, aren't you?" Cagalli tried to force a chuckle. It's as if, she really finds it funny, how fate could play with her by making her mother have a change of heart. With a low voice, she tried to explain for Miriallia to understand, that these things were not new to her and no matter what plans her mother is plotting against her in the future, is completely fine with her. She'll gladly accept them, for she still loves her even though the queen no longer does.
Miriallia saw how broken her friend was despite every smile she tried forcing to plaster on her face. Truth is, the queen really loved her daughters when they were young but when the younger became the priestess, she became more and more distant to her ,became more and more loving to the older sibling and one day she started to become the mother that she is now to Freedert, cold and castigating. The queen would always do things against her daughter whenever opportunity comes, even getting to the extent of embarrassing her in front of everyone claiming that Lacus' should've been the chosen one and the how the God's must be crazy in giving the task of carrying a whole continent on her shoulders. The people of Neo Verona loved the priestess dearly, that's why Mir couldn't understand why her mother, herself, would do such things to her.
But as she kneeled in front of where Cagalli was sitting, took a closer look of her friend, she suddenly remembered who she was and how strong this daughter could be. How every time her mother would attempt to hurt her, she turns a blind eye and bear no anger towards the queen. How she had never cried in defiance of how painful it could be. How she would smile in contempt of wanting to cry and on how she could teach herself to continue to love despite being forced to pray for other people. With that, imprinted on her mind, Mir could only pat her head and ask her…
"Did you cry?"
With a child-like grin that could reach her ears, conveying the face of innocence, she raised her head and said "No, because I'm strong, remember?" before releasing a genuine laughter that could make every sadness in the world disappear but could only make Miriallia feel like crying with what she heard and what she saw.
"Miriallia, I don't know what would I be without you, stand by me forever, I beg of you"
"Maybe I was the one who's supposed to say that" whispered Miriallia to herself, remembering what the priestess said to her this afternoon. How ironic can life be by making Cagalli speak those words of companionship towards her when it must have been the other way around? Because she was stronger and Mir was the one who depended on her, Mir was the one who needs her and maybe she was the one who's supposed to beg for the princess to let her stay by her side forever. And forever, she would do so if the princess would only allow her to, for Freedert was her everything now, she's her only friend, her only mistress and her source of courage.
"Pardon me Mir, but did you just say something?" Cagalli inquired, clearly implying she didn't hear what Mir has just spoke of.
It was already Midnight. Everyone was on their respective quarters in deep slumber and although their conclusion remained obscure, Freedert was no exception of those who needed to sleep and Mir knows she also has to get one before morning arrives, for there are a lot of things to do upon Lacus' advent. So, as Cagalli, still being inquisitive if Miriallia spoke of something or not, Miriallia grinned and…
"Ahh! Mir-stop it!" the hand that was patting her head earlier decided to play with her hair for a while, causing a funny looking disarray of strands with an overall messed up display. Miriallia rose up from where she knelt carrying an earful of laughter with her, with a still sitting Cagalli with a childish pout glued on her face.
"After all that combing…" Cagalli complained while trying to fix the tangled strands of her with her hands.
"The priestess shouldn't strain herself and so is her servant" Miriallia headed for the door.
"Tomorrow's Lacus' arrival with her Fiancé, I'm sure you wouldn't want your sister to see your tired looking face when you welcome her right?" Said Miriallia with a smile on her face
"Definitely, I wouldn't want her to worry about me" Cagalli exclaimed of not wanting Lacus to see her distress. Surely she would worry, Cagalli said to herself even though Miriallia's thoughts of Lacus were the opposite of hers. Miriallia was now in deep thought about Lacus' arrival and Cagalli didn't fail to recognize this.
"Miriallia?" asked Cagalli, bringing Mir's reasoning back to reality.
Cagalli had enough trouble for the day, and another trivial speculation especially if it's about her sister, could only cause her another source of burden, Miriallia decided not to tell her what she was thinking of but instead with a smile to shadow her worries of the future, she looked back and curtsied.
"Goodnight…My lady"
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Sleep was never my friend; it doesn't give me the chance to escape and only leaves me awake to ponder on things that I detest the most. I looked to my side and I saw her in her slumber. With eyes like sapphire, hair strands like the shades of beautiful carnations, a slender bodice, and a form so elegant and enticing. She was Lacus and here in this very bed we commit to such carnal pleasures every night, pleasures that could repulse even the most forgiving God and could drive any man to the brink of insanity.
My soul burns in this place, in this very distance, so I left her arms and warm embrace in exchange for the cool breeze cavorting outside the balcony. There I stood and took notice of everything around me, I couldn't care less what they are, as long as I could pass time and witness the sun come up.
I looked down and got the view of the whole City of Crissa, the roads were all vacant, not even a single person can be seen and not even one light was lit. Darkness engulfs the whole city during the night, one of those things that I find unattractive about Arc Aile, it seems like the moon was always laughing at us, looking down to us from where it is seated, thinking of its greatness for having gained light during the night. I looked up and saw the stars and how near they could be yet so far in reality. That's why I loved the sun the most-
"Elliot" arms filled with warmth, opposite that of the air, began to wrap itself on my waist and I knew the woman I was with, was already awake and searches for me.
With only a blanket to cover her decency, she enclosed her arms in me, her chest on my back, and her heart on my hands. She asked me what I was thinking and I spoke to her…
"I was thinking of how beautiful and pure the sun could be"
"For it is only object in this world with light and how the moon can be very proud from begetting its light from it"
Her hold on my waist tightened as she began to speak of words opposite to what I've held in mine. She spoke to me on how she doesn't like the sun, for when it shines, its light shadows the small things causing nothing but white light to be seen and everything fades into the background.
Maybe she was right. But forever I shall find the sun and the dawn that it brings alluring, for its light brings me back my most treasured memories, bringing me back my sanity.
The woman that held me close, requested for us to go back to the room we have shared several times in lieu to such consuming desires. Tomorrow will be our return to her country and we must rest so that we may present ourselves properly to her family.
But that room will blind me with darkness, so I held her arms removing their contact from my skin, distanced myself causing her a startle, but with one convincing smile, I gestured her to retire back to the room first. The cold winds might get to her and I wouldn't want to be held liable to her father. A kiss on my cheek and she retreated and as I look at her back, her form nearing the pitch dark opening, I turned my back away from her to face the horizon, waiting for the time when night will end and bring forth the sun to rise up. I leaned on the marble railings of the palace and nd then I heard her speak words concluding the night.
as I closed my eyes
without even looking back
I replied…
"Goodnight, Lacus"
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