Never Again

DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Harry Potter, or any of the characters mentioned in this story, unless stated otherwise. Rated for possible sexual content, violence and language. Reader discretion is advised. Any similarities to real life are purely coincidence and I will not be held responsible! Thanks!

WARNING: WILL CONTAIN SLASH (male on male) and MATURE THEMES (sex, swearing, violence, etc) and AU-ness!! Ye be warned; seriously, this is VERY mature people. Reader discretion is strongly advised.

Author's Note: WOW! The feedback for this has been so amazing!! Big hugs go out to everyone who reviewed last chapter…it honestly makes me feel like everything was worth it to be able to write this and share my story… But enough of me getting all emotional now! Just a warning that things heat up a bit this chapter (squint and you won't have to see who I put Remus with), and Michael will truly become deserving of everyone's wrath. That's it! 'You don't care if it's wrong or if it is right…' Cheers!

PS. – the ending for this story will follow along with similar to how my Mom's life is now. Pretty fucking close to a fairy (no pun intended) tale dream if I may say so. (;

XXX

"Hey Remus?"

"Hmm?" It was the following weekend, and Michael was home on one of his rare days off. Remus was sorting clean and dirty laundry in the bedroom, and his hubby-to-be stood in the doorway, looking pensive.

"I've been thinking…"

"About what?" Remus asked, pausing in his sorting to pat the bed in a motion for his boyfriend to sit.

"Well…" said Michael, sitting on the edge of their shared bed, "it's just… Well I work, right? And support us and all that, and I don't mind it, but…" He bit his lip as though hesitant to speak what was really on his mind. "I want you to give up magic."

Remus stared, dumbfounded. It was rather similar to the time Padfoot had told him he'd fancied him in seventh year. Shock, disbelief and an insane urge to start laughing fought for dominance in him, and he reacted much the same way he had on that blustery winter night in his memories. He burst into raucous, nervous laughter, hoping it was all some sort of bad-humour charade.

Michael's face darkened. "What's so funny?' he snapped.

"N-nothing," Remus replied, trying to school his features into seriousness. "But…you can't be serious, can you? How could I give up magic?"

"Simple…just stop doing it."

"But-"

"Look, I'm not going to argue this with you, Remus," said Michael with awful finality as he stood up. "Either you give up magic or you give up me. Your choice."

"Michael," said Remus rather breathlessly. He couldn't give up magic. That was like…like giving up breathing for Godric's sake! "I'm a wizard, I can't just stop doing magic…it's who I am!"

"No, it's not," said Michael, his voice raising. "Who you are is my boyfriend, and I don't like having to explain to my friends why we keep a fucking owl in the house or why there's Firewhiskey in the cabinet instead of normal booze!" He was shouting now and Remus leaned away from him.

"I'm…I can't give it up, Michael," said Remus quietly, going back to his sorting.

"I should've known; you're sleeping with Black, aren't you? Is that why you don't want to give up magic, because your little fuck buddy is a freak like you?"

Tears stung Remus' eyes. "I'm not a freak," he whispered without much certainty. Michael laughed humourlessly.

"Yeah fucking right. You're the biggest fucking freak I've ever met! No, I'm not even going to waste my time arguing with you. You will give up magic."

"But what about the Order? What about my friends, and-"

"I don't care, Remus!" Michael shouted over him. "I. Don't. Fucking. Care. You can do your spells and whatever when you're at your little meetings, but I forbid you to use magic in my house." Suddenly, he was looming over Remus, dark and ominous and frightening. "Do you understand me?"

"Y-yes," Remus said meekly, flinching backward out of his lover's shadow.

"Good. Now go make me something to eat, I'm hungry." Remus stood, abandoning his clothes sorting, heading silently for the kitchen. Just as Remus got to the doorway, Michael called back over his shoulder, "Oh, and if I ever see you doing your hocus pocus shit in my house, I'll snap your goddamn wand in half." He threw the words out conversationally, but Remus heard the ringing authority behind them. And, like he was wont to do, the lycanthrope took the easy way out and said nothing in response.

Remus watched the sunlight pouring in through the drapes in his bedroom window, listening to the silence of his flat, and wondering what he was going to do. Michael had left early for work, as usual, and Remus had been lying in their bed for an indefinite amount of time, trying to figure out how he could still do magic without Michael finding out. Remus had never dreamed, after telling his Muggle lover what and whom he was (to some extent anyway), that Michael would then tell him he had to give up magic. He'd seemed genuinely shocked and intrigued when he'd found out about the universe parallel to his own…or so Remus had thought at the time.

Sighing and rolling over, the lycan breathed deep the scent of Michael, still embedded in the warmth of the sheets. He was just drifting back off to sleep again when there was a faint whooshing sound from the living room and a voice calling "Mooney? You here mate?"

Remus groaned and thrust his head deeper into the pillow. What he needed right now was silence to think, not Sirius Black making noise and being dashing and witty and far too intuitive for his own good. "I'm sleeping," he called back and heard the approaching footsteps that paused just outside the bedroom door.

"What in the name of Salazar's shorts are you still doing in bed at this hour? Get up Moonshine! Time to rise and shine!!"

"Go away," Remus muttered into his blanket as he curled into the warmth of it. "And since when did you become Mr. Chipper in the morning?"

"Remus," said Sirius striding into the room and flopping onto the bed beside his longtime friend, "it's almost eleven. Why're you really still in bed. C'mon…tell Padfoot and I'll help you sort out whatever it is that needs sorting." The lycan groaned and pulled the blanket over his head, ignoring Sirius. Sirius sighed as he got up and gripped the edge of the blanket in his hands. "Either get out of this bed, Remus Lupin, or I'll force you out of it. One…two…two and a half…"

"Fuck off Padfoot!" Remus said without venom.

"Don't say I didn't warn you…" And with those ominous words still hanging in the air, Sirius whipped the blanket off of Remus like a magician revealing a Vanished tiger. Only there wasn't a Vanished tiger under Remus' blanket, but a completely naked werewolf, whose face was now bright red as he attempted to cover his bits.

"Sirius!" he shouted, outraged that not only was he lying on his mattress naked, but freezing to boot. He sat up and snatched the blanket back, hastily wrapping himself in it. Sirius however, looked amused and surprised in equal amounts.

"I never knew you slept naked, Mooney…"

"Get out! Just…go wait in the living room for me!" Sirius obeyed and left, and Remus tried to force the blush staining his cheeks away but with about as much success as he had trying to be angry with Sirius, instead of slightly pleased at how the Animagus' eyes had devoured his nakedness. In short, he failed miserably at both.

He exited the bedroom a few minutes later, dressed in pyjamas and wrapped securely in his robe. "Well now that I'm awake, what do you want?" Remus said as he shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee. He turned to find Sirius right behind him. "Don't do that!" he yelped, clutching his chest and backing into the countertop.

Sirius' brow contracted slightly. "We need to talk Remus. And I won't take no for an answer." He moved and sat down at the little table and the lycan joined him somewhat reluctantly. "Now…why have you been avoiding me?"

"I haven't been avoiding you," Remus said, looking away and trying to convince himself in the process. "I've been…busy."

Sirius snorted. "Oh yes, taking care of your boy-toy must be exhausting. Don't lie to me Mooney."

Remus looked up, glaring. "Shut up Padfoot, what do you know about taking care of anyone besides yourself?" He immediately felt guilty at the hurt look that flickered across Sirius' face and sighed. "I'm sorry. But I really have been bus-"

"Enough of that toss Remus. I know you've been avoiding me, and Prongs and Wormy, and fuck even Lily, agree. You owl me at least once a week, Mooney, and I haven't seen or heard from you in ages. What's up really?"

"Michael doesn't like me talking to you," Remus said before his half-asleep brain could stop him.

The Animagus gaped. "Are you fucking serious?"

"No, that's you," Remus replied, smiling half-heartedly at his poor attempt at humour.

"Cut the shit, Remus. Are you honestly telling me that you're avoiding me because that asshole told you to?"

"He didn't tell me to do anything! And he is not an asshole!" Remus got up angrily, hating that Sirius was right, and poured himself some coffee. "Want some?" he asked stiffly.

"Sure. All right, I'm sorry I called him an asshole, but really Remus. He can't just…suggest that you start ignoring one of your best friends." He looked at Remus slightly concernedly as the lycanthrope passed him a steaming cup of java. He tapped it slightly with his wand to cool it and took a sip. Remus was silent as he took a sip of his own drink and burned his tongue. "Is he hitting you, Mooney?" Sirius asked quietly after several long seconds ticked by.

Remus looked up. "What in the hell makes you ask that? No, I don't even want to know…"

"Is he?" the Animagus demanded.

"No!"

"Then why did you have that great big handprint on your face at the last order meeting? Walk into another door, did you?"

"Fuck off Sirius! Michael is not hitting me." Remus had banged the table in his annoyance and coffee sloshed over the rim of his cup and onto the table. He got up to retrieve paper towel to wipe it up, but Sirius had already completed the task when he turned back.

"Would you tell me if he was?"

Remus looked into the slightly narrowed grey eyes of his longtime friend. He wanted with all his heart to say yes, but…Sirius just didn't understand. He steeled himself. He loved Michael and he would respect his wishes. "I think you should go Sirius," he said dully.

Sirius remained sitting for a moment, continuing to survey him with those blindingly gorgeous eyes, and then stood. "If that's what you want…"

"It is."

Sirius nodded and a rather sad look appeared on his face. "Okay. Well if you need anything, you know where to find me," and with that, he Disapparated with the usual loud CRACK.

XXX

Remus had never fully appreciated before just how much harder things were without magic. He now felt a distinct sense of empathy for his mother that, until now, had gone unknown. It was almost three weeks since he had last seen or heard from Sirius. He'd been to several more Order meetings, but at each one, Sirius had avoided his gaze and sat well away from him; he felt guilty but knew that it was for the best in the long run. James and Lily and Peter were naturally suspicious, but followed Remus' lead in not mentioning it.

Many times in the last weeks, Remus had been on the verge of owling his friend and apologizing and telling him the truth, but had stopped himself. He knew that Sirius would come in and rescue him, be his knight in shining armour, yet always there was the nagging thought plaguing him; a memory of words his lover had spoken. "I love you to fucking death." He couldn't leave Michael; he wouldn't.

Truth be told, Remus was afraid. Afraid of what might happen if he did try to leave; afraid of what Michael might do. He was afraid that if he left the man, those words might actually come true, that Michael would love him…to death.

He shook his head firmly at this thought. He was being silly; sure Michael and he had gotten into their fair share of fights in the last three weeks, and true, Michael had raised a fist to Remus a few times (and let it come down on the lycan as well), but always, always, he apologized and always, they would make up and things would go back to normal. The only thing was, the full moon was approaching, and Remus knew it was only a matter of time before he had to think of some excuse for his absence for a few days.

He had arranged it with Lily and James, that he would stay with them, in their rarely used cellar, securely spelled and silenced for his transformation. It would be fine; he just didn't know what he was going to tell his boyfriend.

"Remus? I'm home, babe!" The lycan hitched a smile onto his face and exited the bedroom where he had been consumed with worrying over the upcoming transformation.

"Hey hon, how was work?" he asked, wrapping tender arms around Michael's neck and kissing him. He made to pull back, but Michael merely moved with him, deepening the kiss and letting his hands drag down the lycan's body greedily.

"Mmm, horrible. I haven't had a proper break all fucking day," he replied, finally breaking the kiss, but not letting Remus out of his grip.

"Want something to eat?"

Michael grinned lasciviously. "Only if you're on the menu… What I really want is you, on your back with your legs over my shoulders, screaming as I pleasure you." Remus blushed heatedly, feeling passion stirring in his veins at the words.

"I don't know," he said in a mock-serious voice. "I'll have to ask the chef." He giggled as Michael bent his head and nipped playfully at his neck.

Michael grinned, capturing his mouth again and kissing him with fervor as he backed them both towards the bedroom. Remus, who could feel his lover's half-hard cock grinding sensually against his own member, felt the wolf rising rapidly in him and attempted to force it back down. Michael had always rather enjoyed being the dominant one, and had told Remus before (whose libido often got the best of him close to the full moon and encouraged his usually dormant dominant streak) that he was better as a submissive and that they worked best that way. Remus agreed generally, and rather liked Michael and his dominance, but around the full moon, the wolf usually demanded he top.

They bumped the doorframe, giggling like mad teenagers in the height of hormonal transitions, before Michael steered them toward the bed and they tumbled onto it. Clothes were torn off in their frenzy and tossed aside without a second thought until they could rub their hot hard pricks together, both moaning into each other's mouth as the delirious friction. "Yeah babe, that feels so fucking good," Michael grunted. "I've been looking forward to this all fucking day…"

Remus rolled them, straddling his lover and bended to kiss him again, his overeager cock pressing against the resistant pucker of Michael's arse. "God, me too," Remus panted as Michael bit his neck lustily and he shuddered in ecstasy. He pressed his hips forward, the head of his member pushing insistently against his lover's asshole.

"Mmm, no," Michael gasped, rolling them again so that he was atop Remus, "I said I wanted you underneath me." He leaned down and sunk his teeth into the soft sensitive skin just over Remus' collarbone, pulling the little catch of flesh into his mouth and sucking hard. The lycan yelped with combined pleasure and pain and Michael, misconstruing him, bit down harder yet.

Remus' insubstantial fingernails bit into his lover's shoulders in warning as he hurriedly thrust down his inner wolf (which was most abject to what it saw as a blatant show of possessive dominance from Michael). "Not so rough babe," Remus rasped as the teeth finally slid off of his throbbing flesh, but Michael appeared not to hear. The weeping head of his cock was rubbing impatiently against Remus' arse hole as his eager hand slid between their bodies, stroking Remus' member hastily.

"Oh yeah," Michael panted, now sliding the first few inches into Remus' unprepared sphincter; it was clear to Remus that his lover was much further along than he himself was, and seemed unwilling to wait for Remus to catch up. He thrust hard, sheathing himself almost completely in the howling lycan, and again, didn't seem to notice or care that Remus' screams were not those of ecstasy, as he'd wanted, but pain at the brutal intrusion.

Michael pistoned out and then levered himself up on both arms, lifting one of Remus' legs so that he could thrust even deeper. Remus clenched his eyes shut, completely consumed with trying to keep the wolf in check as Michael fucked him roughly, panting and sweating and moaning above him. "Fuck yeah baby!" Michael called an undistinguishable number of burning thrusts later. Remus' perineum had finally resigned itself to the thick prick that slid in and out of it, and the lycan's arms slid up his lover's perspiration-oiled body as his cock stabbed deliciously at his prostate. "Oh fuck…yes, yes…I'm so close, Remus," Michael breathed, peppering the other man's face with heated kisses as his thrusts became wild and uncontrolled. "So good…so tight…yes…yes!"

Remus watched him as his eyes rolled back in his head, his entire body tensed with the invisible waves of pleasure that wracked him, before Michael fell, exhausted, on top of Remus and his throbbing prick, panting heavily. The lycan felt hollow and unwanted, as though he'd just walked in on his lover making love to someone other than himself. It was as though he wasn't even there to Michael, who had obligingly rolled off of him, still trying to catch his breath. Never, in the history of Remus' admittedly limited sexual experiences, had he failed to reach orgasm before, with, or directly after his lover. Never…until that moment.

His cock was red and aching and throbbing with his unfulfilled need, and he rolled onto his side, away from Michael, afraid he might cry or something as equally telltale. He didn't want Michael to know he hadn't enjoyed himself as well. After a few long, painful moments of silence, punctuated only by Michael's puffs for breath and the incessant ticking of the beside clock, Remus' lover finally rolled against him, pressing his now flaccid cock against the cleft or Remus' arse. "That was fucking amazing, baby," he murmured softly into the lycan's shoulder. "Fucking amazing."

"Yeah," Remus replied in what he hoped was a not-disappointed voice.

"Y'know what I could go for now, though?" his lover drawled, oblivious to the hot, hard length of Remus' penis mere inches away from his hand. Remus made a questioning sound in the back of his throat, not trusting himself to speak. "Something to eat. …Could you, hon…?"

Remus' shock rendered him paralyzed. Not only was his lover completely unaware of the fact that he was lying here, hard as a fucking rock, waiting to be treated to something sinful, but he was actually asking Remus to go and get him food now. The lycan swallowed hard and bitterly. "Sure thing, babe," he said in a falsely cheery voice, and rose, not bothering to dress, from the bed, keeping his erection out of sight. "I just have to…use the bathroom first."

"Okay," Michael said, rolling away and putting his hands behind his head as his eyelids fluttered shut. Remus hurried into the en suite, shutting the door behind him, and crossed to the toilet. Putting down the lid silently, he sat on it as hot, angry tears slipped from his eyes. His hand found his aching cock, and he put the other of the pair over his mouth to stop the moans from echoing dully around the little tiled room as he fisted himself to completion. Unbidden, memories from his last, blissful year at Hogwarts floated to the fore of his mind, and as his seed arced away from him spectacularly, a pair of hauntingly beautiful grey eyes looked up at him as the burning memory of Padfoot sucking his cock for the very first time filled his mind's eye.

He cleaned up hastily, his guilt lingering like a miasma over him, and made sure to flush the evidence of his activities away before creeping out of the bathroom and to the kitchen, to get Michael something to eat.

XXX

"Michael? I think we need to…talk." Remus felt inexplicably nervous. Then again, to his credit, it wasn't every day he confronted his unpredictably violent boyfriend about the unsatisfactory sex they'd just shared before telling him he had to go away for a few days.

"You're right, Remus, we do need to talk." The lycan felt a sliver of hope burgeoning in his heart. Maybe Michael had known all along that he hadn't been satisfied earlier and was going to apologize for it now… "I know this is really last minute, but I actually have to go away tomorrow. There's a convention at work, and the boss asked a bunch of us to go. I'll only be gone two days, three at the most."

Remus couldn't help but feel disappointed again. Despite the fact that there was perfect excuse for his lover not to see him over the full moon, he still felt upset about the sex. It had been nagging him non-stop, all evening, and he had finally screwed up his courage to talk about it. "Oh," he replied slightly blandly. "I see…well, that's fine then. I mean, if you can't avoid it, you can't avoid it…" Michael smiled easily, eyes flicking back to the football game on the telly.

"What did you want to talk about, babe?"

"Well…it's just…you know earlier?" Michael grinned suggestively at his boyfriend and Remus tried to smile back. "Well…er…please don't take this the wrong way, but…"

Michael, who seemed to be taking it the wrong way despite Remus' plea, had a cool look on his face now. "What about it?"

"It's just…well, I didn't…you know…" Remus muttered, unable to meet the other man's eyes. He didn't see the ominous red Michael's face turned or the angry sneer he now wore.

"No I don't fucking know, Remus, so just fucking spit it out already. Didn't you like it or something?"

"It's not that! I did, really, I mean…you were just…it was very quick, and-and…and well, I didn't get to…finish." He whispered the last word, glancing up through his fringe to see a red-faced Michael glaring at him.

His lover opened his mouth to speak, but seemed unable to, as he simply shut it again after making feeble attempts at speech. "So you're saying," he finally managed to spit out in a voice of forced calm that Remus found more frightening than outright yelling, "that I wasn't good enough for you?"

"No!" squeaked Remus, shrinking back into the couch and hating himself for it.

"So then you're saying whenever we fuck it should just be about you and what you want, then?" Michael bellowed, leaping to his feet and towering over Remus.

"No," Remus whispered, wishing fervently that he hadn't said anything as he looked down at his hands.

"Then what the fuck are you trying to say, Remus!?" Michael demanded mercilessly. "Look at me when I'm fucking talking to you goddamn it!" Remus' gaze snapped up immediately and the look of savage, freezing fury that he loathed so much was, once again, dominating his boyfriend's handsome features.

"I just…" he whispered, but before he could even think to articulate his swirling thoughts, Michael had pulled him bodily off the couch and sent him, with a flick of his wrist, slamming into the wall. All the breath was knocked from his body as he struggled to remain upright and draw a breath that didn't want to come.

"You want to fucking get off, do you?' Michael rasped viciously, breath hot over his neck, and Remus' fear trickled through him. "You want me to make you come?"

"No," Remus managed to whimper, but Michael had either not heard or didn't care. He pulled roughly at Remus' clothes, hands harsh and unloving as they caressed his erogenous zones.

"How's this?" Michael hissed, forcing a hand down his boyfriend's trousers. Remus attempted to push the stifling weight off of himself, but with little success; it was like trying to move a brick wall. "Enjoying yourself now?"

"No, no stop," Remus cried shakily, feeling tears welling behind his eyes. Something stirred within him; it was too close to the full. Remus stopped pushing Michael away; it was taking all of his strength of will not to growl and attack the man who claimed to love him and try fruitlessly to push the wolf down deeper, where it belonged.

Michael had now shoved his pants down his thin hips, mouth hot and unforgiving over his neck as he raked it brutally with his teeth, and Remus tried verbally to make him stop again. "Stop, Michael…ow, stop, you're hurting me!" But Michael ignored his pleas, pulling hard and rough at a nipple under Remus' shirt. "Stop it…please, Michael," he called out, tears now flowing freely down his cheeks as he fought to master himself and throw Michael off of him simultaneously. "Stop! Stop it! Get away…no, please…no, NO!"

"Shut up!" Michael shouted, his angry red face mere inches from Remus' own, so close that the lycan could feel flecks of spit hit him. "Shut the fuck up! You wanted some fucking action, well now you've got it! I told you to shut up!" he screamed as Remus cried out louder, still trying to control the wolf and now hitting any available inch of Michael he could.

The blond grabbed Remus hard by the shoulders and slammed him again into the wall so that Remus saw stars erupt in his field of vision as his head smacked sharply into the drywall. The little control he'd been keeping Mooney in check with dissolved as he struggled to regain himself from the blow to his head, and before he fully registered what he was doing, his hands had found Michael's throat and he was shoving and squeezing and pushing, clawing at the other man, wanting nothing but to get away.

"Get away from me!" Remus shouted, panting hard as though he'd run a mile, but even with the rage of the wolf on his side Michael was much bigger and decidedly stronger than him. He pried Remus' fingers off of his throat, twisting the arm they were attached to hard to the right and almost instantly, Remus was on his knees, salty tears leaking from his eyes at the pain that shot up his arm.

"You little fucking shit," Michael gasped, rubbing his abused throat, as he continued to hold Remus at his mercy.

"Please," Remus begged, his voice thick with pain and emotion and fading rage. "Please…please, my arm, you're hurting me…"

"I should break the goddamn thing right off," Michael spat, letting Remus go and watching unaffected as he cradled the limb to his chest. "And I swear to fucking god, if you ever pull a stunt like that again, I'll put you through the goddamn wall next time, do you understand me?"

Remus nodded silently, feeling smaller than he ever had in his entire life. He wanted nothing more than to sink into the carpet right then and die. He stood shakily and walked to the fireplace.

"Where're you going?' Michael snapped, as he cracked open a beer and sat back down, still huffing angrily, in front of the television, watching as the emerald flames from the Floo powder reared dazzlingly.

"Lily and James's," Remus muttered softly, still holding his arm.

Michael snorted. "No you aren't. Get in the fucking bedroom and stay there." Remus watched the magical fire flicker and die slowly, and turned toward his bedroom. Hopefully Michael would drink enough to pass out on the couch that night.

XXX