Disclaimer- I don't own these characters. :)
Chapter 12
I guess the look on my face was dead serious, because Edward looked almost intimidated for half a second.
"Start with Rosalie and work your way around the family." I prompted, wanting to begin with the worst. Edward took a deep, contemplating breath,
"No editing for my feelings Edward." And he exhaled with a whooshing noise.
"Fine Bella. Rosalie thinks that it is 'complete bullshit' that even after you begged for us to kill you for months you got married and have a child. She is furious and doesn't think that you appreciate how truly blessed you are, while she got, for lack of a better word 'shafted.' She also is angry that you are just waltzing back into our lives three years later saying you had my children. She wouldn't believe you if Ean didn't look so much like me. She wants to see if your going to stay around for good, or just came by to show us how well your doing, or to beg for us to change you. She also thought very grudgingly how wonderful having Ean must be, so I think she will warm up to him." I nodded, since I had expected a lot worse from Rosalie. I hoped that I could show her that I am grateful for my humanity, love my son more then anything, and am not going anywhere.
"Jasper?"
"Jasper is happy that you're back because he 'doesn't have to hide from all of the feeling in the house anymore'" Edward looked almost sheepish as he quoted Jasper's mind, " although he still feels guilty about what happened at your birthday, he wants to make it up to you. He thinks that the best way to do exactly what you want him to, start trusting himself, and he wants to do that so he can get to know Ean, and really start acting like family towards you also." I nodded again, not exactly thrilled that Jasper was still upset about my birthday, but happy he's trying.
"Emmett?" Edward smiled,
"If you had stayed inside when Emmett first came downstairs again, I wouldn't have to tell you. He walked into the room and swung Ean up into the air saying 'Well I guess its just going to be me and you making the trouble around here mini-me. We Emmett's gotta stick together.' He's so excited to have you back, and Ean is an added bonus. He's touched that you thought to name your child after him, and glad he has a new playmate, since I haven't really been much of one lately. He also loves you and Ean so much that he doesn't want either of you gone for so long ever again." That was what I really wanted to hear.
"Alice?"
"I'm not sure I have a word for how excited and happy she is. Bella, she missed you more then anything, and wouldn't talk to me for a few months after we left she was so angry. She can't wait to take you shopping and play 'Bella Barbie' either. She also wants to meet Luke, and make sure he takes care of you and Ean. She is completely smitten with Ean, and getting you back is actually making her angry with me again, I don't know if you've noticed, but about 90% of the time she is resisting the urge to punch me because that's how upset she is." I nodded, making a small face because truth be told a lot of the time he was gone I always thought that the first thing I would do when I found him was punch him in the gut.
"Carlisle?"
"Carlisle is very relived and glad that your back, but is curious and worried. Tomorrow he wants to talk to you about your pregnancy and other things, because he finds the entire situation very odd, and of course wants to figure it out. He thinks Ean is a huge blessing though, and wants to get to know him and keep him safe." I smiled, because everything he said reminded me of how fatherly Carlisle was, and how our safety and happiness had always been his number one priority.
"Esme?" I smiled, thinking of how her face had lit up before.
"She believes that what happened today is a mother's perfect dream come true. She is happy because the family had been so hard to keep together these past few years, like we used to be glued together, then you came and welded us together, but when you left, glue just wasn't enough anymore. Now that you're back, she can already see the light our eyes returning. And Ean is already her little angel. She thinks he is the most perfect blend of you and I imaginable, and he is her favorite miracle. She—" he hesitated, like the next part bothered him, or it would bother me,
"Edward, it's okay just tell me." He swallowed, and blinked a few times
"Her happiness at seeing Ean is also equal to her heartbreak over Jesse, Bella when you mentioned two children at first, Esme was beyond ecstatic, and her two grandchildren became number one in her heart already. Having one taken away before you even got to know her reminds Esme of what happened to her, and she is so proud of you for being so strong and so brave." I had never thought that what had happened to my little girl related to Esme, but I realized it did, and the glow she had when Edward brought Ean in became much more meaningful to me. Esme knew exactly how it hurt, and she was still dealing with it. Edward smiled at me,
"Are you happy now that you know my family's inner thoughts Bella?" I shook my head
"No, because you forgot someone." He thought for a fraction of a second before shaking his head,
"No Bella, you know what I think."
"No Edward, that was all from before I found you. Tell me what you really think, what you're really feeling, no editing." He was doing an awful lot of deep breathing lately.
"Bella, I don't think I have the words to describe the kind of emotion seeing you has put in me. Leaving you was the worst mistake of my existence, and I will never get over the guilt and regret of leaving you. I will never get over not being there to support you, and our children, and the shame over missing my daughter's brief appearance on this earth is one that will stay with me the rest of my existence. But walking into that room and seeing you, just as beautiful as I remembered, is a blessing I'm still not sure I deserve. I know how horrible my mistake was, and I know how much I hurt everyone." He grabbed my hand and put it in both of his icy ones.
"This second chance is one I am not willing to mess up, Bella. I want to be there, for you and our son until it isn't possible anymore and longer. And I'm not sure I'm even deserving enough to be here with a woman as wonderful as you. I do still love you Bella, and I always will, but I will never regret leaving you human. I do wish you could be with me forever, but you deserve everything you have now and more, and knowing that this is what eventually happened, my only regret is that I made you suffer before you made it here." He stroked my cheek lovingly, almost exactly the same way he did that first day he walked me to gym class.
"Now it's your turn, since you are the only one I could never figure out. What exactly is going through your head now?" I knew this was coming, but I also knew that I really didn't have an answer.
Well Edward, I'm actually wondering if I should just kiss you now and apologize to my husband, because my fairy tale ending came back, or if I should break your dead heart into pieces and go back to Luke because the horse and carriage are too late. That would go over well.
"Edward, I—I don't really know what I'm thinking." I exhaled, dragging my eyes to the floor so this would be easier. "I don't know what to think. I'm confused, and I don't really know where I belong. Is it strange to be in love with two different people, and deathly afraid of making the wrong decision?" Edward put his hand on my cheek again, making me look at him, before shaking his head.
"Bella, you don't need to tell me now. Honestly you don't have to ever. You don't really owe me anything at this point." I looked at him, before finally telling him that I was tired and going to bed.
"Goodnight Edward" I whispered as I stood up and kissed his cheek softly. "I'll figure it out soon, I promise." I went up to his room and went to bed. As I was drifting off to sleep, I could have sworn I heard him open the door and whisper softly
"Sleep well, love."
I really had an awful lot to think about.
A/N This one is because I had a really good day, and was enthused to come home and write this. Next chapter is Bella's big decision. =D It's a shorter one, but I really love it, so I might post it tonight just because I'm so excited to hear what you all think. But, let me know about this one first. Nothing to to interesting, just some insight into the Cullen family. Also, I changed the summary because of a brain power surge I had. I like switching things up, and who knows, maybe I'm just playing a trick on you. ;)
As always, special thanks to Misti D, LoveIsWhatMatters, Sobriquet Queen, PeanutCullen, jkmk, kaceekittykat (welcome to the story), RK13, skyangel82, Azn-Grl-Twilight-Fan (also welcome to the story), Musehere, and OnlyAtTwilight for this chapter, you all keep the writing going.