A/N: I do not own Twilight.
I got 22 reviews on the last chapter. YAY! A record for me!
Thanks everyone and as promised here is the next chapter. I must admit that I didn't update the second I got 20 reviews because I was sleeping and I'm not quite devoted enough to check my e-mails through the night. But I've just got up and here I am updating :)
I am going to do the same on the next chapter and say I won't update until I get 22 reviews as I now know you guys can do it… I haven't written the next chapter yet so it will be up when it's done but not if I don't have 22 reviews.
Anyway sorry for the huge cliff-hangers on the last chapters… I don't think this one is quite as bad :)
Chapter 14
Bella
SHIT
She knew.
She fucking knew.
And this wasn't just my incessant worrying. This was real. The last few weeks had been so amazingly perfect and with just a blink of an eye that was all gone. If Rosalie told anyone then I was totally screwed. Edward would be crushed. I'd have lured him into falling in love with me only for him to find out that I was married all along. He'd be heartbroken and the chance of him forgiving me was so slim that it was almost non-existent. And Mike. Would he find out too? Most likely. Maybe Edward would be so bitter with me that he'd tell him. Or Rosalie may get to him first. Or maybe it would be me who tells him. The immense guilt of what I did to Edward and all the lies may eat me up so that I'll just have to tell him.
Why did this have to happen to me? I'm a good person. Or at least I thought I was until Edward came along and messed with my head. It wasn't his fault. How could it be? He was just being his usual charming self and I was seduced by the thought of something more. The thought of true love.
Rosalie was standing in front of me fuming with anger. Her hands were on her hips and she was visibly trembling as if restraining herself from attacking me. I looked over to Esme who had her eyes closed and seemed none-the-wiser.
"It's not what it looks like Rosalie," I blurted out. Even I could hear how untrue my words sounded. It was exactly what it looked like.
"You little scheming bitch! You're married? Married for Christ sakes," she raised her voice and I looked around urgently to see if Esme had heard. Luckily she seemed to be sleeping. "And don't even try to tell me that Edward gave that to you. He'd never have rushed into marriage and if he did he would definitely have told me about it."
"Look Rosalie. Please. It all got out of hand. I met Edward and I felt so different and wonderful. He made me feel wonderful. I just wanted to see if I cared for him and then I'd leave my husband for Edward. I love him so much. I really do."
"Do you?" she questioned, "because from where I'm standing it looks like you've been married all this time. How could you love him? How could you even be capable of love? You've cheated on your husband with some guy who you've made fall head over heals in love with you, knowing full well that you could never be together."
"No, I hoped we'd be together…" I didn't know what to say. Everything she said was true.
"And," she continued, "You've been completely happy in the middle. Juggling two guys and playing with their feelings. My brother loves you. He loves you for crying out loud. You're the first girl he's even cared for like that and you've thrown it back in his face. It seems like you only care about what's right for you. No one else. You. You said you wanted to see if you really cared for Edward? Well what if you didn't and he cared for you? You're a heartless little bitch and when … or if… Edward wakes up don't think I won't be telling him about this. All of it."
I was frozen on the spot. Rosalie had just voiced all my worries. Everything I'd tried to shy away from… where in reality everything she said was right. I was going to break both of them. Silent tears began streaming down my face as I stared into the distance. Rosalie looked like she was going to say something but before she could a doctor came over to talk to Esme.
"Could I have a word?" he asked quietly gesturing me and Rosalie over. Esme noticed my tears and slipped her hand into mine assuming I was crying over my worrying for Edward. I felt sick. Even Esme would be hurt by my revelation.
"We've run some tests on Edward and there is good news and bad news…"
"Go on," Esme said.
"The good news is that he appears to have no brain damage and apart from a little short term memory loss his brain should be fine. However he has a few broken ribs and a severely punctured lung which is preventing him from being able to breathe properly. He is living off the life support machine. The next 24 hours are critical so he will be staying in intensive care."
"Will he be okay?" asked Esme desperately, "just tell us what his chances are."
"At this point his chances of survival are about fifty/fifty. But if he survives the next 24 hours then they will be more like ninety five to five. You can go and see him if you want. Your husband," he addressed Esme, "has just gone to change and said he'll be back soon."
"Okay thank you," Esme told him before going into Edward's room. I followed her but a hand on the door in front restrained me.
"I don't think so!" barked Rosalie looking down at me like I was filth. Like I didn't care for Edward half as much as she did.
"Please," I whispered pleading with her with my eyes, "just to say goodbye." She looked down at me for a few seconds before slowly nodding her head and going in the door before me. I took a deep breath ready to see Edward for what could be the last time. I gently pushed the door open and walked over to the bed.
He was lying down connected to a tangle of tubes that looked like snakes trying to suffocate him.
Trying to steal him away from me.
And I knew they'd succeed. If Edward did survive I wouldn't get to be with him and if he didn't… I couldn't even bare to think about that. A life where Edward didn't exist was a life not worth living. The life support machine was screeching in the background going at the same pace as Edward's weak breaths. The dark circles under his eyes were more pronounced and to me he looked weak. Frail. Not the Edward I'd come to know. I had the overwhelming urge just to do something. Anything. I just needed to cure him and save him. He couldn't leave me. He just couldn't.
As I looked over him, not being able to be with him after this didn't matter to me. I just needed him to survive. I needed him to be okay. Even if it wasn't with me I needed him to be happy. He was everything to me. My sun, my sky, my moon… my world. I'd grown so dependent on him and so used to him that the thought of him not being there terrified me.
It was then that I knew.
I knew that I couldn't give up on him. If he got through this… when he got through this I would fight for him. I wasn't giving up on him. Edward was my everything. He was more to me than Mike. So much more. And looking down on him so weak and vulnerable I knew that I'd made up my mind.
I'd made the decision.
It was Edward I'd chosen.
I didn't need to wait until the end of the month. I knew already. I would tell him about Mike and tell him everything. How much I loved him. How I'd leave Mike for him. How I wanted to be with him forever. I prayed he'd accept me and that he'd want to be with my after all my lies and deceit. I could only hope. It was a big risk to take but I knew it was one worth taking.
But I had other hurdles to get over first. The biggest was lying right in front of me. Edward needed to make it and be strong like I knew he was.
The next 24 hours would be the hardest of my life.
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Sorry for the short chapter, the next one will be longer.
I'm not a doctor so I don't know if any of this medical stuff I'm saying makes any sense… just assume it does. :P
Now get reviewing!