Thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. I finally made it to 22: big whoop! On this chapter I'm going for at least 25 reviews before my next update. I think that seems fair as this chapter is more than twice as long as the last one.

Thank you to Laura for being my fabulous Beta and always checking my chapters for me!

Chapter 15

Bella

I sat with Edward all afternoon just thinking. I'd never felt so distraught and saddened in my whole entire life. Nothing could compare to this. Nothing. Sitting down staring at the man I love and knowing that he may not make it through the day was the worst feeling imaginable. And I couldn't even touch him. I wanted to hold his hand and sooth him and make him better. I wanted to stroke his hair lovingly and kiss his cheek but I couldn't. Rosalie had made sure of that.

While sitting in the hospital room Esme had left to talk to Carlisle leaving me and Rosalie alone. She came over to me and whispered creepily in my ear that if I laid a finger on Edward then she'd tell everyone my secret. Who was I to argue? She'd let me stay with him… that was the most I could ask for after what I'd done. I still planned to leave Mike and prayed that Edward would forgive me. I knew there was a chance that I'd end up alone but I couldn't spend my life with Mike not even taking the chance. Seeing Edward's life in danger only magnified my feelings for him and solidified my decision to leave Mike for him. He was worth it. I was certain of that now.

There was no change in his condition. Carlisle had been darting in and out of the room taking tests but had found nothing new or different. He said that it would take time before we'd find out if he was going to be okay so all I could do was wait.

I was broken out of my thoughts by a thump on the door and I looked up to see a large man with short black hair who I recognised as one of the other firemen from the night at Alice's.

"Hey," he smiled weakly at us and then his gaze settled over Edward's frail body and his smile disappeared almost instantly, "oh God." He ran his fingers through his short curly hair.

"Hi Emmett," Esme said to him quietly, "take a seat." She gestured to the chair next to Rosalie whose expression I noticed had become brighter since Emmett came in.

"How is he?" he asked.

"No change. The doctors say it will be at least another 12 hours before they can properly assess his condition again. Oh sorry," she looked to me where I was sitting on the other side of the bed to the three of them, "this is Bella, Edward's girlfriend. And Bella this is Emmett."

We both said hi to each other and then settled into silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. Just a sad and depressing one. I looked up to see that Rosalie had tears streaming down her face. I wished that I could empathise with her as we were in the same boat but unlike her I felt guilty showing my sadness. As if I didn't deserve to because I was going to be causing so much more. Emmett shuffled his chair over and wrapped his arms around her.

"Oh Rosie baby it will be okay," he cooed to her. Edward had told me that Emmett had feelings for his sister. From the look in his eyes I could see the truth in Edward's words.

She started sniffling, "the doctors s-s-said he might not make it," she began crying more and leaned into his chest and he held her to him tightly.

"Oh Rosie he'll be okay. I'm here, don't worry. Come on let's go for a walk… I'm sure you could use one."

She nodded gently and Esme gave Emmett a thankful look as he took Rosalie's hand in his and led her out of the room. I watched them as they went out into the hallway and I could see Rosalie thanking Emmett. They both stopped talking and just stared at each other. I could see a look of adoration and love in Rosalie's eyes as she looked up at Emmett. It was the same way he looked at her before in the hospital room. She leant up to give him a quick peck on the lips and smiled shyly. I'd never have imagined Rosalie as shy… I guess that's what love does to people. He blushed lightly and wrapped his arm around her leading her off down the hallway. At least someone was with the person they loved. I was happy for them. Truly.

"Bella do you have someone you want to call or something?" asked Esme compassionately.

"Urm yes," I looked down at my watch realising that Mike would have been expecting me home thirty minutes ago, "I'll call my friend."

"Okay there is a payphone just down the hall."

"Thank you," I replied. But before I did, knowing that Rosalie wouldn't see, I took Edward's hand in mine and gently brought it up to my lips. I kissed it tenderly before settling it back down. I lightly stroked his hair and kissed him on the cheek before bending down to whisper in his ear.

"I'll always love you and I'm so sorry."

I gave Esme a quick smile before stepping out into the hallway. I picked up the phone and dialled the number of my apartment. Mike answered on the second ring.

"Hello," he spoke into the phone.

"Hi, it's Bella," I tried to stop the tears I'd been holding back all afternoon.

"Oh hey. Are you okay? Where are you?"

"I'm at the hospital."

"Hospital? Why?" he replied sounding shocked.

"One of my friends is really ill… someone from work."

"Oh Bella honey. Okay. Stay there as long as you need but try to come home as soon as you can and I'll cook you some dinner. Or at least I'll give it a try."

I smiled, "okay I won't be long."

"Okay. I hope your friend's alright. I love you."

I stayed silent for a second. What could I say to that? "I know," I finally replied and put the phone back down on the receiver.

Now what? I couldn't face going back in there but I knew I had to. I needed to see him and be with him. This may be the last chance I get. But I also knew that I needed to talk to someone. I needed to get my feelings off my chest and get my head around everything. I needed a friend. So I picked up the phone and dialled the number for the person who has always been there when I needed them.

"Hello," Alice answered.

"Hey Alice. It's Bella."

"Hey Bella. Oh my God guess what? Me and Jasper might be getting back together… I mean it's not official but still. Yay!" She could hardly contain her excitement.

"Oh Alice. That's great." I tried to sound as happy as I could but it was too hard.

"Bella?" Alice asked sounding worried, "is everything okay?"

"No." I replied simply.

"Bella? What? Tell me," she sounded anxious and could obviously sense the distress from my voice. She always knew when something was wrong.

It all came out in a rush. "Edward's in hospital Alice. He was in an explosion and has a punctured lung and the doctors say he might not make it. Alice I'm so scared. And Edward's sister saw my wedding ring. She knows everything Alice. About the affair. Everything. And she's threatening to tell Edward. What do I do?"

"Okay Bella calm down okay. Just relax. I'm sure he will be okay. Don't worry. Try and convince Rosalie that it is best for you to tell Edward. She'll agree I'm sure. After just go home and rest. Then come round tomorrow and we can talk. Okay? We'll figure this out. Together. I promise."

"Oh Alice," words could not describe how much gratitude I felt towards her at this moment, "Thank you so much. I'll do that and come round tomorrow and see you. I love you Al."

"You too. Everything will be okay. We'll sort this out."

"I hope so. Bye."

I turned back to stare at the door to Edward's room psyching myself up to go back inside and not have a total breakdown. Then from the corner of my eye I noticed Rosalie and Emmett coming down the hall towards me. Emmett gave me a timid smile while Rosalie glared at me coldly. I knew what I had to do.

"Rosalie," she turned to glower at me, "can I talk to you for a minute?"

"I'll just go back inside," Emmett murmured to her leaving us alone. Her head turned towards me.

"What?" she snapped.

"Look Rosalie. Please just don't tell Edward about… well you know," she looked at me incredulously, "just let me tell him."

"Why in the world would I do that?"

"Don't you think it would be so much better coming from me? I'll let him down gently and confess everything to him. I promise. I just know he'd rather I tell him and then I swear I'll stay away from him if that's what he wants."

"If that's what he wants? I don't think there is any doubt of that, sweetheart," she sneered.

Was she right? Would he want me to just stay away from him? If I told him the truth he'd understand. Wouldn't he?

"Don't take too long telling him. When he wakes up, which he will, you better tell him quickly or I swear to God I'll do it for you."

"I will. I promise."

"Like your word is worth much," she snarled and then turned to walk away from me back into Edward's room.

I took a minute to gather my thoughts and absorb everything she'd just said and then I followed her in. I took my seat across from them and looked down over my beautiful Edward. But I knew in reality that he might not be mine for long.

Time ticked by unbelievably slowly as we all just sat, for the most part in silence, watching Edward and hoping that he would recover. Rosalie and Emmett had gone to get some food and I don't know how late it had gotten when Esme broke the silence.

"Bella you look completely shattered. Why don't you go home and get some rest? If there is any huge change I promise to call you immediately but I doubt there will be."

I glanced at my watch at saw that it was after ten in the evening. Christ when did it get so late? "Yeah I think I will. Thanks Esme, and do call me if there is any change," I replied.

"I will. Goodbye."

I said goodbye and made my way out to the front of the hospital. I took out my phone and gave Mike a call asking him to pick me up. He said he would leave straight away so I just sat outside and waited. My stomach growled loudly and I realised that I hadn't eaten anything since lunch. As I knew Mike would take about fifteen minutes I went into the hospital cafeteria and bought myself a sandwich. I made my way back outside and munched on it slowly while waiting for Mike.

I welcomed the cold breeze as it kept me alert and stopped my mind from drifting off and thinking disturbing thoughts. Mike's small blue Toyota drove into the car park and stopped right in front of me. He reached across to open the door for me and I took my seat next to him. Neither of us said anything as he drove out the car park but he took my hand in his and held it for the rest of the journey.

The drive home was silent. I didn't feel like talking and I'm sure that Mike could sense my desolate mood. Once we'd parked behind our building we climbed the steps up to our apartment. Mike opened the door letting me in first and I made my way to the bedroom.

"Bella," he called, "wait a minute."

I turned to see him staring at me, his expression a mixture of compassion and sympathy, "yes," I replied weakly.

"Come here," he gestured over to the sofa. I walked over and he pulled me down next to him wrapping his arms around me. I felt safe and comforted in his arms so I lay my head on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it honey?" he asked, "I'm sure your friend will be okay."

"No Mike h- she might not be," my voice broke and then I felt like the barrier keeping my emotions inside was suddenly demolished as my eyes flooded with tears. I was sobbing uncontrollably into Mike's chest as I turned and snuggled up closer to him.

"Bella love, shush, calm down. It's okay. I'm here." He soothed me with his words and the gentle caress of his hand stroking my hair. I felt loved and cared for and all the more guilty for not feeling the same in return. Mike had always been there for me. He'd comforted me when I needed him and had been my shoulder to cry on for as long as I could remember. How could I break the heart of someone like him? Someone so wonderful. I shed my tears more rapidly and Mike held me tighter assuming it was only because of my 'work friend'. But in reality it was so much more. It was because I was about to rip Mike's heart to shreds when he didn't deserve it. He'd done nothing but support me throughout our whole marriage. He'd done everything a husband should do. It wasn't his fault I didn't love him. And now he was going to be punished for it. Punished because I was too selfish and cruel to make up my God damn mind and say no to Edward when I should have. And Edward, oh Edward, he'd find out about me soon enough and he'd be broken too. Crushed. How did I not see this coming? I assumed that if I wanted to be with Edward then he'd automatically want to be with me. But how could he? After I'd lied to him and neglected to tell him that when I told him I loved him I was saying the exact same words to my husband later that night. And what if I didn't even get that far? What if he didn't make it? My beloved Edward gone forever. The thought itself nearly made me through up.

My eyes were growing more swollen and I was soaking Mike's shirt through. But he didn't care. Of course he didn't; he loved me and would do anything for me. Anything. And now he'd have to pay for my mistakes.

"Bella love," Mike cooed, "Let's get you to bed okay. We don't need to talk now but you just need some sleep." I nodded in agreement as Mike stood and swept me up in his arms carrying me to the bedroom. He sat me on the edge of the bed and the tears kept coming as I just stared ahead with a vacant expression on my face. I vaguely registered him lifting my shirt up over my head and unzipping my skirt for me. He pulled my shoes of gently, caressing my ankles with his tender touch as he did so. I just sat there in my underwear and he kneeled in front of me looking up.

"Do you need anything before you sleep?" he asked taking my hands in his.

I shook my head slowly, "actually could you set my alarm for six thirty tomorrow so I can get up and visit my friend?" my voice was hoarse as I forced the words out.

"Sure, of course. Come here baby," he said taking my hand and guiding me into the middle of the bed. He lay next to me and lifted the covers over us sweeping me up in his arms so my head lay on his chest. He stroked my hair affectionately and kissed my head lightly before saying, "now try and get some sleep. I'm here for you and the alarm is set."

I did as he said. I cried myself to sleep in his arms while being eaten up inside by feelings of guilt, worry and sorrow.

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