A/N: This chapter was a pain in my ass. It's codename: "The One with All the Bitter Dialogue". Seriously, for a while there when I was writing it all I could think was these two need to shut up, but I couldn't get it out without all the talking, so there's a fair chunk of that. I don't remember what else I was going to say here, except that I feel like it's exceedingly long, even though it did manage to stay below the 3000 word mark, which is sort of my maximum. And now I'll just shut up and post before Trish kills me. And Sules. Sules fought back to a HTB update request today with a CS update request. Well, I've done my part, now you do yours. OH, and Eals needs to update Glasgow. And where the heck is Gravity, Two by One, Moving Mountains? Playergurl89 has been hiding. Look at me... judging people for not updating for long periods of time... Pot, meet Kettle.
Fall disappears within the first week of November as Toronto disappears under a thick mess of fluffy snow. The plows go by before the sun comes out, flashing lights threatening to wake sleeping babies as piles of snirt are built along sidewalks. Thanks to the snow, alarm clocks are reset to a half hour earlier to allow for the extra travel time. And the time spent in the driveway shovelling and digging out the cars. Other than the extra work, Sam's morning routine is essentially the same. Wake up, check on Noah, shower, give Jules unnecessary assistance with Noah's breakfast while he avoids her glares. Its been two weeks since he returned from his mother's house and they still haven't talked about it. She's asked a few times how he's doing, if he's dealing, what he's thinking, but he's never responded. At least not with an answer. He pulled the 'going to be late for work', the 'can we talk about this later?', and the 'I'm fine', several times before he lost his cool and turned it on her. Leave it alone, Jules. Don't worry about it. Don't you have anything better to do? Now that he's made it clear he'll pick a fight from anything, she's stopped asking. Simply glares at him instead, profiles him while they speak about anything else.
His evening routine also remains the same. Kicks off boots, but actually puts them away because he's avoiding a confrontation with Jules at all costs. Flips through the pile of mail Jules leaves on the same corner of the counter in hopes of something more interesting than a phone bill. Doesn't question the hand addressed envelope with the Alberta return address deliberately shoved to the bottom of the pile, though not discarded. He's holding back the nagging for fear it will only turn around on him.
Jules watches as he moves through the days in his perfected routine, as if that thing that happened a month ago didn't happen. Or as if it doesn't bother him, which she's sure it does. Not because he's said so, but because he avoids the topic. He won't let her approach the topic, likely for fear of picking at a scab. She can't relate, not really. Sure, she gets the lost parent thing, but even if the circumstances of her relationship with her mother were comparable to that of Sam and his father she wouldn't try to relate. She knows the last thing he wants to hear is 'I get it'. It was the last thing she wanted to hear.
So she leaves it, gives him some more time. Lets him talk her into a late dinner in favour of playing in the snow. Two grown adults and their baby who has barely mastered sitting up, playing in the snow. They put so much clothes on the poor boy that he can barely move, and head out onto the deck in the backyard. Sam claims it's why he hasn't shovelled it yet, and builds the world's smallest snowman. Taking a break from studying falling flakes, Noah gets excited, kicks it over, and proceeds to laugh at the slightly dejected look on his father's face.
Winter fun is short lived as Noah seems to lose interest in the snow. Sam removes the many layers they've wrapped him in while Jules tries to figure out the dinner menu. With a shrug she gives in to Sam's request, and starts making grilled cheese. Setting the first sandwich on the pan, she sighs and turns to face Sam. "Your Mom called today."
He doesn't look up from where he and Noah have discovered a few toys on the living room floor. "Oh?"
"Yep. Wants to know what our plans are for Christmas."
"Why? It's over a month away."
"Well I'm guessing she's just looking for something to look forward to. It'll be her first Christmas without your Dad and…" she trails off, tries to figure out where to go with this.
Sam rolls his shoulders, focuses on some brightly coloured blocks. "What did you tell her?"
She rolls her eyes at his lack of interest in the conversation. "I told her we weren't celebrating Christmas this year."
His head shoots up so he can face her, his expression similar to that of a child who was just told that, well, that Christmas was cancelled. "What do you mean no Christmas?"
She can't fight off the smile that comes with the shocked tone of his voice. "Sam, I was joking."
He pauses, replays her earlier comment and mentally face palms at the realization that he missed the sarcastic inflection in her voice. "Oh."
"Anyway, she wants to do dinner with us. Along with Nat and Spike of course."
"So she's coming here? I guess that means we should finish that guest room, eh?" He smirks to himself, proud that he brought that particular task up before Jules got the chance to nag.
"Actually, I was thinking we'd go to her place for a few days."
"Excuse me?" He doesn't get it. Doesn't see why he should be forced to drive all the way to his Mom's to spend the holiday cooped up in his childhood bedroom with both his wife and child. "Why can't we do that here? I don't see why we should go all the way there, we have more room."
She sighs, watches his face twitch as he continues to protest. "Sam, it's her first major holiday without your Dad. She wants to have a house full of family for Christmas, her house, I think the least we can do is drive up for a couple days."
He can't believe how quickly she's resorted to strong-arming him into doing this. Can't believe that for Noah's first Christmas they're going to drag him to the base to sleep in a questionable near-antique crib instead of having it in their own home. He actually rolls his eyes. "4 hours driving in the snow with a baby. Ok Jules, that sounds like a great plan. We should volunteer to bring the tree - just strap it on top of the SUV."
She huffs, rolling her eyes in return. "Ok, I think I've been pretty understanding here Sam while you just sit around and refuse to deal. But the least you can do is do this for your mother. She's family, it's what family does, so just…" She pauses, tries and fails to fight back the urge to say it. "Suck it up."
"Suck it- Oh wow." He scoops his jaw off the floor before doing the same with Noah, settling him into a bouncing chair so that he can move to the kitchen. "Suck it up, Jules? It's what family does, Jules? This from the girl who hasn't spoken to her father in... what's it been now? Six? Seven years?"
She can't believe he's gone there. Shoots him a lethal glare. "That's not the same, Sam, and you know it. Stop trying to put this on me, you're the one who's avoiding the topic of your father, refusing to deal with the fact that he died."
"Yeah, well, at least when my father was alive I spoke to him. Ok, argued with him, but at least I didn't avoid him like you do yours!"
"Avoid? Sam, I'm not avoiding anything you're the one who-"
"Not avoiding?" He's across the room at light speed, shuffling through the pile of mail to the envelope in question, tearing it open to read aloud. "Dear Julianna… oh, here it is: We would love to have you at Christmas this year. You get a letter every year, and you never go. You don't even reply. Does he even know you got married? Hell, does he even know that Noah exists?"
"You can't be serious. You're really going to go there?" She locks her jaw, quickly turns off the stove before she gets distracted and burns their dinner.
He nods, gives a conceited smirk. "Oh, you bet I'm going to go there. Because until you're willing to go there, you have no place telling me how to deal with my family if you won't even-"
She huffs, rolls her eyes and snarls at him, "What would you have me do, Sam? Just pack up and road trip it out to the 'hat for some Callaghan family reunion just so that you'll start dealing with the fact that your father died?"
"Yes."
Her brow twitches, the arch in her frown increasing. "Excuse me? You want to drive out to Alberta? How the hell would that even work? Stop being ridiculous."
Crossing the space between them he stops just short of a foot in front of her, gesturing frantically as he perfects his condescending tone. "Well, Jules, there are these big metal things called planes and I'm willing to bet they even go to Alberta at Christmastime. If we're going to go out of our way to go to my mom's then we might as well visit the farm too!"
Eyes lock. Death glares. Indignant, daring, taunting glares.
"You'd never get the time off-"
"The team has vacation time left over, needs to be used by the end of the year, so we swung ourselves a little Christmas vacation." He smirks some more, obviously pleased with himself.
"Plane tickets are expensive…"
"That's what savings are for." He watches as she chews her lip in contemplation, quickly locating and retrieving her cell phone off the counter. "Call and tell him we're coming."
She bites back a pout, determined not to let on how much his challenge is bothering her as she shuffles through the contacts on her phone.
"That phone won't dial itself, Jules."
"I don't have his number. I have to text my brother, alright?"
He nods, continues to glare as he peers down at her fidgeting hands. He grins as the phone beeps indicating a reply. "I think thats-"
"Yes thank you." She scowls, dials the number. Raising the phone to her ear she shoots him a scornful look. "Just so you know, the second we get back you're talking about it- Oh, uh, Hello? Dad?" She waves him off leaving the room.
He smirks to himself - he's won, for now - and moves Noah into the kitchen so that he can keep an eye on him while he picks up where Jules left off making dinner. He hears the conversation winding down and takes his cue to move dinner from the oven to the table.
Dinner is tense, to say the least. The earlier disagreement is left in the past as they both pretend nothing happened. They don't discuss their holiday plans over sandwiches - instead, Jules fills Sam in on her plans to give in and let him buy a treadmill for the house. As it turns out, running in the snow is that much more inconvenient with a baby, and she's getting to the point where it's not worth the hassle. He grins, but before he can imply an I told you so she reminds him he'll still be watching Noah on weekend mornings while she goes for 'real' runs. He gladly agrees - the more time for cartoons with his boy the better - and even suggests she add in a trip to the range on those days so she can stay sharp while she's off work. In the lulls between smirks and teasing remarks, he studies her. He's not sure what exactly he's gotten them into with this trip to Alberta, but he's quickly noticing she's changed. Her mood has shifted. Could this be what Jules is like when she's nervous? He hasn't forgotten her promise that he's going to have to make it up to her when the holidays are over.
The awkward tension is gone by the next afternoon. Sam's pretty sure that when the snow rolled in a month too early it brought some kind of seasonal depression along with it, because for a full shift all they do is deal with attempts at suicide. And one successful. And a lost bystander.
A teenage girl, tired and broken after one too many harsh comments from classmates, finds her way to an open balcony at her private school. A lonely lovesick boy follows her up, tries to talk her down while managing to dial 9-1-1 with his phone hidden in his pocket. Team one arrives on scene, quickly goes about taking their places. Raf and the rookie, their barely-adequate-Jules-replacement, take on the task of negotiation. Sarge stays on the ground, his voice hoarse with the bug that's slowly but surely making it's way around town, and serves as the rookie's second while Spike gathers the information. Ed and Sam start surveying the area, looking for some kind of plan b, in case things don't go well with the negotiation. In case words won't cut it. They pace the ground below before agreeing that they're better off taking the chance of being seen while setting up repelling gear from the two adjacent windows. That's when the wind picks up. Icy snow flakes whip and whirl against the school's walls, and before the team can reach them, both teens slip over the edge.
It of course makes the headlines, with emergency news breaks interrupting Jules' endless marathon of British soap operas. It's why she wastes no time clearing off the SUV before Noah wakes from his afternoon nap. She dresses him in his puffy snowsuit and fuzzy toque before buckling him into his carseat. On the drive to HQ she tells him where they're going. She lists the members of the team, her team, and what they mean to him. At the end of the list she throws in the word Daddy, and she's met with a grin in her rear view mirror.
Sam runs his hands over his face as team one wraps their debrief, thankful that at the very least their shift is now over. He returns his team mates' end of shift sentiments before following them to the locker room. He showers and dresses, wanting nothing more than to get home to his family and put this day behind him. He stretches his neck from side to side, trying to ease the tension building there as a result of the day's calls. Rubbing at his neck, he focuses mainly on the floor in front of him as he makes his way down the hall.
"Hey Sammo, nice of you to join us."
Shaken from his thoughts he looks up to find Ed, holding Noah as he talks to Jules. "Had to make sure there was no hot water left, Sir," he smirks, turns to Jules. "What, uh, I mean not that I… Hi."
"Hi," she smiles, greeting him with a quick hug. They've been married over a year now and still, PDA are kept to a minimum around HQ. "I was just telling Ed about how Christmas has turned into a logistical nightmare."
Ed gives a sympathetic nod and relinquishes the baby into Sam's arms. "For the first time in twenty years I'm glad Soph & my families both live in the same end of the country." His phone buzzes in his pocket and he gives it a quick look before smiling. "Speaking of which… I'll have to talk to you later Jules. See you tomorrow, Sam."
Sam grins, shuffles his gym bag on his shoulder. "Not that I'm not thrilled to see you two, but did I forget about something?"
Jules gives a small smile as she zips up her jacket and picks up her purse. "Saw the news," she says watching his smile fade. "Figured you could use an end of shift pick-me-up."
He nods to himself, gives a quick smirk. "So you came to pick me up?"
"Well, I figured we could leave your car here for the night and I can just drive you in in the morning. I'm trying some Mom & baby class at the gym tomorrow so I'll be up a little earlier anyway. Or we can just take our separate cars home. Its up to you," she shrugs, as if she hadn't hoped he'd jump at the chance to spend more time with them, if only for the short ride to their house.
He shakes his head at how quickly she back-pedalled on her idea, gives her a smile. "I'm sure my car will be fine here for the night." When she grins he sneaks a kiss onto her cheek. As they reach the elevator he presses the button, smiling at the way Noah's eyes light up at the chimes that mark each passing floor. "Do we have to go straight home?"
She shrugs, adjusts her purse on her shoulder.
"Cool. You want to grab a burrito or something?"
She laughs, glad to see his mood has improved from the tired man she first saw exiting the men's locker room. "Sure, just as long as it's not just a burrito."