A/N: I do not own Twilight.

Thank you to my wonderful Beta Laura for taking the time out to read and improve my chapters for me! :) And also thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter. It was my most reviewed chapter! The number of reviews I get are going up each time… I'm starting to like this pattern.

I've been feeling pretty ill today with a really annoying cold but I've find the time to update. How nice am I? So here is the next chapter and don't worry, there is no evil cliff hanger at the end. Or is there?

Chapter 19

Bella

I was frozen in shock.

"J-J-Jessica," I stuttered, "What are you doing here?"

I had loads of scenarios racing through my mind as to why she could be here. Maybe she'd lost her clothes and needed to borrow some, maybe she bumped into Edward in the street and spilt coffee on her clothes so he lent her some… or maybe… I couldn't even say it.

She was wearing nothing but Edward's shirt. It couldn't be what it looked like. Could it?

"Oh you know," she replied absently waving her hand. The evil smirk was still planted firmly on her face

"No Jessica. I. Don't. Know." I replied through gritted teeth.

"Well I bumped into him in Central Park and we shared a cab. He looked slightly depressed and I turned around and saw you and Mike. I guessed that you're little secret had been revealed. It's sad really. So I thought I'd… you know… cheer him up a little bit." She winked at me with a wicked gleam in her eyes.

I didn't want to believe what I was seeing. I just couldn't believe that Edward would do this to me after we'd just broken up. Did I mean that little to him that he'd sleep with this tramp just a couple of hours after he finds out I'm married? I needed to know the truth. If this really happened then I needed to hear it.

My eyes started filling with tears, "what do you mean cheer him up a little bit?"

"What I mean whore is that I fucked him! That's what I mean." She placed her hands on her hips. "Oh I'm sorry," she said with mock surprise, "did you not want me to do that. I must have forgotten because I'm such a 'skank'. He didn't seem too bothered about you when we were having sex… in fact he didn't even mention that he had a girlfriend."

"You heartless bitch." I said my words oozing menace. I was growing increasingly angry as she just stood there and basically took my life and trampled all over it. My hands curled into fists at my sides and I started trembling as my anger began to seep through.

"Yeah maybe I am a bitch. Oh well. Oh and Bella, boy was Edward good in bed."

That was it.

I took one confident step forward, raised my right hand and with all the strength I could muster I punched her in the face. Not slapped. Punched. She recoiled back from my force and fell to the floor behind her. I'd never been a violent person before but she just brought it out of me. How dare she do this to me? How dare she?

Blood started pouring out of her nose and she screamed making an awful piercing noise. She brought her hands up to her nose trying to stop the blood. I heard footsteps behind her and looked up to see Edward slowly walking down the stairs with his hair in disarray, wearing a pair of blue faded jeans and a white vest. He was limping slightly and I realised that he still wasn't properly better and had only just got out of hospital. If Jessica had made him any worse then she'd be sorry.

"What the hell is going on?" He asked.

"That bitch punched me. That's what's going on." Jessica pointed to me with one bloody hand.

"Oh God." Edward ran his hands through his hair, "look Julie go in the kitchen, get some tissues and tilt your head back."

"It's Jessica," she spat.

"Just go and don't spill any on the floor," Edward dismissed her. I'd never seen him be so harsh.

He slowly turned to look at me, "Bella. Did you want something?" His voice was dull and void of any emotion.

"What? How? Edward I don't understand." I couldn't get the words out. "You slept with Jessica. Why? Why would you do that? Do I mean that little to you?"

His expression changed instantly.

"You're asking me if I mean that little to you?" He raised his voice, "how do you think I felt seeing that you're married. I didn't feel like I meant much to you either. And how dare you say that to me Bella. How dare you! Asking me why I slept with someone else. Can you honestly tell me that you never had sex with Mike while we were going out?"

I stayed silent.

"No, I didn't think so. So don't you dare get all high and mighty with me Bella because you have no right!" His eyes were dark and filled with hatred.

I'd never seen this side of Edward before. I'd never seen him be so cruel. But in all honesty I knew I deserved it. What he'd done was no worse than me lying to him about being married. In fact it was about a hundred times better.

"And you know what Bella?" he asked, "You shouldn't be surprised. Because this is who I am," he pointed to his chest "I sleep with random women just for the sake of it. I'm that kind of guy. And for some unknown reason I thought you'd changed me. I thought you were the one that I'd settle down with so I'd never be sleeping around again. I thought," he chuckled darkly, "that you'd made me whole and changed my heart making me a better person. I couldn't have been more wrong."

It crushed my heart to see him like this. He seemed so broken. I'd never realised what a difference I'd made to him. Tears started running down my cheeks. "We can still have that Edward," I insisted, "Me and Mike are finished. I want to be with you. Only you."

"Yeah well you have a funny way of showing it. And would you have finished with Mike if he hadn't found out? I doubt it."

"Yes Edward I would have done," I stepped into his house and took his hand, "I didn't have to tell you I loved you in the park but I did. I didn't have to make a scene and tell Mike everything but I did. Because I love you and you mean everything to me."

His face softened slightly and his features were no longer dominated by hatred. Instead by pain.

I heard Jessica's shrill voice in the background, "Edward do you have any ice?"

Edward never took his eyes off of me.

"Second draw down in the freezer," he said.

He stared at me motionless as if he was thinking through what to say. I looked down at our still joined hands hoping that he could feel the connection between us that I felt. Was he going to forgive me?

Please say he'll forgive me.

"No Bella," he took his hand out of mine so I took a step back out onto his porch, "it's too late."

"No Edward it's not. Please. I need you." I begged.

"Well I don't need you," he replied coldly, "not anymore." With that he took the door and slammed it in my face.

Edward

I just looked forward at the now closed white door and listened to Bella's fading footsteps as she walked away. She was gone. My Bella was gone. I'd listened to her pleading as she begged me to forgive her but I couldn't. I just couldn't. It was too painful looking at her and seeing all her lies and deceit and I knew that if I was ever with her all I'd be able to think about would be Bella holding his hand or being kissed on the cheek by him.

I wanted to believe that she chose me over him and in a way I did believe her. But none of that was important. All that mattered was that I felt physically sick when I thought of them together and I just knew that that image would haunt me whenever I was with her.

I don't know why I slept with that girl Jessica. I'd never met her before although she did remind me of someone. It probably wasn't a very good idea in my condition but when we'd shared a taxi and she'd started flirting with me I couldn't help it. I was so used to solving my problems through sex. Before Bella if I was feeling depressed I'd go to a club and pick up some random girl. That would normally make me feel better. But not this time. When this Jessica girl was literally throwing herself at me I should have felt better and wanted. But I didn't. Instead it made me feel more alone and longing for Bella.

"I can't find the ice," Jessica's nasal voice interrupted my thoughts and with a resigned sigh I went into the kitchen to help her. I felt sorry for the girl. She hadn't done anything wrong. She'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time and Bella had taken it out on her. I never knew Bella would punch some random girl for sleeping with me when it wasn't even her fault. Maybe I didn't know Bella as well as I thought I did. I opened the freezer and dug out the bag of ice passing it to her to use on her nose.

"Let me have a look," I said to her. I'd been trained in first aid so I'd be able to tell if it was broken and if she needed to go to the hospital. She agreed and I gently touched her nose. The bleeding had stopped and the bones felt normal so her nose wasn't broken but it looked like it was going to be pretty bruised and swollen.

"It's not broken," I told her, "just a little swollen."

"Okay," she looked in the oven and used it as a mirror, "oh my God. It looks awful. That bitch is going to pay. Stupid whore."

I suddenly felt protective and had the urge to defend Bella but then I knew that I could hardly defend her for punching someone who did nothing wrong. And why did she deserve my defending her? She didn't.

"Ahh Bella is such a bitch," she continued.

"Wait," I interrupted her "how do you know her name?"

"Duh I'm her friend. Don't you remember me? I was with her when there was that fire at Alice's apartment."

Then it clicked. This is where I knew her from. She was a friend of Bella's.

"You knew who I was when you slept with me?"

She nodded, "yeah you're the fireman she's been having an affair with and is madly in love with, blah de blah de blah. So? She deserved it. She was such a cow to me earlier and I was hardly going to just sit down and take it."

"So you slept with me to get at Bella?"

"Yup. I mean it's not that I wouldn't have had sex with you anyway, you're hot, but Bella needed taking down off her high horse."

Suddenly I felt angry. Very angry. This Jessica had slept with me all because she knew Bella was with me. I don't know what Bella had done to deserve that but it couldn't have been that bad. I knew how horrible Bella must have felt knowing that I'd been with another girl. It's how I'd been feeling all day. I'm sure that she deserved it for what she did to me. But who was this girl to treat Bella like that?

"Get out of my house Julie," I sneered. I knew her real name but decided to piss her off.

"It's Jessica," she shouted.

"Just go." I stormed out into the hallway picking up her scattered items of clothing on the way.

Bra, skirt, shoes…

Then I opened the front door and chucked them out. "Hey," she yelled, "what the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Just get out of my house and leave Bella alone."

"You what?" she asked shocked, "Bella is married. Ma-rr-ied. Do you not get that? She's been lying to you so why are you standing up for her?"

Why was I standing up for her? I barely knew the answer to that myself. I despised Bella for what she'd done but it still got to me seeing this girl screwing with her. What happened with me and Bella was nothing to do with her. So she had no right to punish her for it.

"Just. Get. Out." I shouted. I was fuming with anger now. I walked over to her and grabbed her by the arm pushing her out of the door.

"Fine whatever idiot. You and Bella are just perfect for each other." And just like I'd done earlier with Bella I took a step back and slammed the door in her face.

I turned around and rested my back against the door and then slowly slid to the floor in a heap. I buried my head in my hands as the feelings of sorrow and loneliness whirled around my body as if trying to consume me. My anger had dissipated and instead I just felt alone. Very alone. Bella was my everything. I thought I could have a real life with her and that we'd always be together and maybe even get married and have kids one day. I'd had all these stupid thoughts and hopes only to have them taken away from me with one sentence: "this is my wife, Bella."

She was his wife. Not mine. His. And she probably always will be. She'll apologise to him and he'll forgive her and then they'll get back together. He'll be the perfect guy, not a screw up like me, and they'll be together forever and live happily every after.

And where does that leave me?

Nowhere.

I leaned my head back against the door and just let my sadness eat me away inside. I fell asleep and was haunted by dreams of Bella and Mike.

I had my arms around Bella and we were slow dancing. She was in a white wedding dress and was gazing up at me, her eyes brown orbs filled with adoration and love. It was our wedding and the happiest day of our lives. I linked our left hands together tracing the wedding ring on her finger as she traced the one on mine. We kept dancing and spun around in delicate circles not taking our eyes off each other.

I'd never seen her so happy.

And then the vision changed. I was watching us dancing from the outside. I was on the edge of the dance floor watching me and Bella dancing on our wedding day. Why was I on the sidelines? And as we kept dancing and spun around I realised that it wasn't me and Bella dancing. It was Bella and Mike. Her eyes still held the same looks of love and affection but she was looking at him. Not me. It was their wedding day. Not mine and Bella's.

Bella's and Mike's.

I opened my mouth to shout to her and tell her how much I loved her. But I couldn't. My voice wouldn't work and not matter how hard I screamed and how much I tried no words came out. I was shouting her name but still nothing. Then I got further and further away from them. They grew smaller and smaller as I moved further and further back. I tried to move forward and reach Bella and tell her I loved her but I couldn't. I just couldn't. Slowly she faded away and I was left standing alone in the darkness.

I awoke with a start to the sound of the phone ringing and realised that I was still lying in front of my door. Tears were streaming down my face and I was hyperventilating. I desperately tried to just calm down and took deep breaths. The dream was horrendous and now would normally be one of those moments where I'd realise that I had nothing to worry about and that it was only a dream. But not in this case. For me it was reality.

The phone continued to persistently ring so I dragged myself off the floor to answer it. I wiped my swollen eyes and picked it up.

"Hello," I rasped into the receiver. I quietly cleared my throat.

"Hey Edward it's Rosalie. How are you?"

"Not great."

"Oh?" she seemed intrigued, "why?"

"Bella."

"What about Bella?" she said carefully as if she knew what I was going to say.

"She- she- she's married Rosalie. She is and always has been since we've been going out."

There was silence on the end of the phone, "oh Edward," she comforted me not seeming entirely surprised, "I'm so sorry."

"Wait Rose did you know?" I asked.

"Yes," she admitted, "I saw her wedding ring when she came to visit you in hospital. She promised me that she would tell you today so I called to see if she had or I was going to tell you for her."

"Oh. How could she do this to me Rose?" I needed an answer. I was desperate for one but I just couldn't think what I'd done to deserve it.

"I don't know Edward. I don't know what the hell was going on in her sick and twisted mind." Her voice was filled with compassion but there was an edge to it which illustrated how angry she was at Bella.

"I-I love her Rosalie. She's the first person I've ever really loved," my voice broke and I started crying again. Since today I couldn't remember the last time I'd cried. I was the kind of person who normally bottled their emotion up, not let it out.

"Oh Edward I'm so sorry." I started crying more violently and sniffing down the phone.

"Yeah. Me too."

"She's not worth your pain Edward. You should be with someone so much better than her. If she treated someone as lovely as you so poorly then she's definitely not worth it. No way."

"I know. She's not worth it." I agreed.

But as I said those words out loud I couldn't help thinking that she was.

-

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