Ch 9- Meeting in the Middle

House tapped his fingers impatiently on his desk. He had sent his team off to collect an array of samples from their newest patient, a forty year old soccer mom with onset paralysis. He suspected that she was simply using a form of cocaine that was somehow modified to be untraceable, but left his minions to do the work while he tried to come up with something that would spice up his relationship with Cuddy. He didn't want things to become mundane and if rattling her was the way to keep things fresh he was up to the task…he liked to be kept on his toes, anyway.

The problem with his current situation was that he had no ideas for rattling his girlfriend. Things were going very smoothly and she was even taking him to meet her family. He cared about her a lot, and didn't want to do something majorly offensive, but really wanted some excitement. The trick was to have something happen that would be borderline explosive, while not pushing his fair maiden over the edge of love with him. He pondered for a while longer, then not having any good epiphanies, he decided to kill some time with Wilson.

"She's taking me to meet her family for Christmas dinner," House informed his best friend.

"Am I supposed to be shocked that she would offend you so?" Wilson asked sarcastically, his desk cluttered up with unfinished paperwork.

"No…I just don't exactly know what to think about it."

"It's a good step in the right direction if you're serious," Wilson pointed out.

"Yes. But, again, boring. Serious equals boring…you know that…that's why you cheated."

"I cheated because I'm physically unable to sustain a relationship that isn't with you, since you killed off my chance with the female form of your breed, I'm pretty much doomed."

"Don't be such a spoil sport," House chided. "You could get a million girls if you wanted. And now you won't be bored, at least."

"Do you want to be bored or do you want a relationship?" Wilson asked, not looking up from his work.

"Both," House replied unwaveringly.

"Well find some way to work that out. I've got work to do…I have no better ideas."

House looked offended, which he was thoroughly displeased with Wilson for not seeing. "You expect me to come up with some crazy plan on my own?"

"You are the master of that game."

House sighed. "Yes, but you're my sidekick. The whole point of a sidekick is to get me out of the metaphorical writer's block mindset."

"Can't help you right now, House."
"Fine. I'll go talk to Foreman. He'll probably have better ideas anyway." House hoped that the comment would sting, but Wilson simply snorted. He knew his friend better than to believe that House would ever include anyone else in brainstorming ideas to terrorize his girlfriend while keeping her in the position of girlfriend. House left Wilson's office empty handed and resigned to watching General Hospital instead of plotting. He decided that the show he would perhaps give him a brilliant idea and went to his office to hope for the best.

An hour later he turned off the television, just as empty of devious plans as ever. He sighed, hoping against hope that being with Cuddy wasn't taming him.