Illusions 11
Meanwhile….
Marian closed the door and looked around in the chamber she had left only shortly before. Bright sunlight was streaming through the windows and warmed the room, but she felt chilled to the bone.
How often had she dreamt…she and Robin in the palace, the man, looking at her with love in his eyes, the wedding officiated in the King's presence, the return to Nottingham, a little girl….and how different was reality! Robin had received her with mistrust and hostility and he had left her soon enough to rush to the King. Casually, he had told her that the wedding had to be postponed and had not said anything when King Richard had treated her disparagingly. He'd even laughed at the King's words. She remembered his mien very well, the same facial expression he always had when he was up to something, his winking Can you really be mad at me?
Oh, she could! Obviously, the fact that he was the King's confidant had gotten to his head and if she was not mistaken, he shared the King's view of women. How had she overlooked this for such a long time? Had he even taken her seriously? Stay in the camp and cook something, had he told her in the gang's camp in Sherwood Forest once. If she had, he wouldn't be alive now.
Absentminded, her fingers caressed the luxurious fabric of her dress and then she looked down at herself. The dress was beautiful, but it was everything that had remained of her dream.
The creaking of the door jolted her out of her musings – Robin! He had come more quickly than she had thought. He was standing in the entrance and then closed the door carefully. "Marian…." He smiled as he used to and took her in his arms. Marian huddled against him, her anger forgotten, while he was kissing her temple gently and stroking her hair. She felt relieved; he had realised that he had hurt her and now he would….
"Marian," Robin repeated, while he released her slowly. "
The King is very much taken with you. I admit that we didn't know what could have happened, but it's an honour for you to be accepted among the court ladies. We've talked everything over and I'm positive that you will like it here. By the way …you cleaned up very nicely." He grinned mischievously. „Compared to the dirty street urchin yesterday…"
Marian felt as if she had been slapped. He hadn't realised a thing, hadn't understood anything. She shoved him away. "You have talked everything over. How good for you. I am to stay here and you are doing what you like most – save England. I remember the last time very well, " she hissed furiously.
Robin frowned, his mien showing his lack of understanding. "You're getting it wrong. After all these strenuous months the King wants you to rest and enjoy your life to the full and I promise that, when I come back…."
"And when will you come back, Robin?" Marian replied heatedly. "When England's last enemy has been captured?"
Robin stood only one step away from her, but Marian felt as if she were watching a stranger. Her gaze fell on his brown hair, not falling roguishly over his eyes as it used to but being cut after the latest fashion, and his smiling green eyes. He was wearing a blue tunic with embroidered sleeves that fell down to his calves, and shoes were made of the finest leather. What had happened to Robin Hood, what had happened to robin of Locksley? He used to laugh at fashion and had even pointed at men who wore these kinds of garments. But it was not the outer appearance that was so different. Had he changed or had she ever known him, really known him? Marian felt her anger subsiding, being replaced by an icy calm.
Robin looked at her confidently. "Marian, you know that I love you…."
"You do, Robin?" Marian murmured. His voice sounds as if he is trying to calm a child.
"….an I knew you would understand. It won't be long and we'll have time for us. Try to imagine a wedding at the court. The King needs me, but soon…."
A loud knock at the door interrupted him. "My lord?" they heard a voice from outside. "His grace, the Duke of Buckingham and Lord Salisbury have arrived. His majesty is expecting you."
Hastily Robin kissed Marian on the cheek. "I'm on my way, we'll talk later." He wrenched the door open and nodded to the soldier, who was waiting. "I'm coming." Almost sighing with relief, he followed the guard. Marian can be quite difficult at times. Can't she do what I'm telling her like other women?
Marian stared at the heavy oaken door closing after Robin. Robin hadn't listened to her, but had he ever? He had told her that he loved her, but had it been more than an empty phrase? She would always come in second place or in third or fourth place. Perhaps she was only someone decorating his arm and any other woman would do, too.
Finding a man who loved her had been something she had wanted when she was a little girl and here her dreams came to an end. But then she smiled bitterly. …There was a man, who loved her or had loved her, who had been prepared to die with her, who had lied to the Sheriff, he had sworn loyalty to and who had not even been capable to kill her when he had found out that she had used him. Tears welled up in her eyes….Guy, you loved me once….I hope you are safe….
Only an hour later Robin returned. His eyes glittered and his face had an expression she could not read. His smile was so…..full of satisfaction yet still…It wasn't for her and there was something else. There seemed to be bitterness and on the other hand joy. What kind of message had he received?
"Marian," he said slowly. "Buckingham and Salisbury were at Quanta by command of the King….Alan, he's…, they hanged him…" Silence filled the room and then Marian touched Robin's hand, while she was feeling as if someone had laid a stone on her chest. Alan had once been a good friend before he had joined the Sheriff. Greed and jealousy had driven him to the betrayal of his friends. "He begged and cried that he knew something and that he wanted to see the King or me, but I…couldn't go there. But he told us something that saved him from torture… He told us where Gisborne is hiding." For a few seconds, when he was thinking of Alan and the early times of the gang, Marian had seen the old Robin, but then his face hardened and he hissed. "How I have waited for this day! I'll set off today; we'll fetch the traitor and when he's strung up, we'll marry.
He didn't notice Marian's petrified gaze but left shortly afterwards.
Furious, Marian threw the embroidery hoop on the floor and sprang to her feet. This was what she was going to do all day? The King had told her she should exercise herself in womanly virtues. Stitching figures on cloth and singing to the lute to please a man wasn't exactly what she had pictured as the meaning of life.
Marian knew very that that the other court ladies were snickering behind her back. Her mother had died early and her father hadn't insisted on her learning how to weave and embroider. He had taught her to fight with a sword, a knife and a bow, even how to break in a horse. The people at Nottingham had respected her as the daughter of the former Sheriff and had liked her; here she was an outsider.
Her hair shone, her fingernails had grown and her hands were soft again, but everybody in the palace knew how she had arrived and everybody had heard the story about her fight against the Sheriff as the Night Watchman. Although they pretended to admire her bravery, the ladies simply thought such behaviour unbecoming for a gentlewoman.
When she had wanted to go for a ride, the stable hands had brought her a palfrey with a side saddle. She had only looked at the men dumbfounded and had returned to her chambers. This was no riding!
By now, Marian had occupied new chambers in the inner part of the palace rather than an annex. She had been living here now for about two weeks and meanwhile she was accustomed to the view from her window, the white, pure stone, the artful arches and ornaments. The beauty of the palace had taken her breath away at first, but now she felt like a prisoner. It was a luxurious prison though; carpets were covering the floors and walls, carved chairs and stools, covered with soft fur were standing in front of the fireplace. Never in her life had she owned gowns like she did now, but she didn't take much pleasure in it.
Her fingers touched the cool walls while she was glancing out of the window. Robin hadn't returned yet. Perhaps Guy had been able to escape in time; perhaps the information had been wrong…
At this instant she saw Robin riding into the yard and, behind him, his arms constrained at his back, Guy. Marian stumbled back, covering her mouth with her hand to suppress a sound of dread.
Robin had found Guy and he would hang. It shouldn't matter to me; he tried to kill the King, he is cruel, he….Marian, I've got another side you don't know. Tears welled up in her eyes and she wiped them away hastily, but it was not use. Time and again she saw the pictures of what was to come.