Chapter 3: Learning to Forgive but Never Forget
What happened next I would have never expected to happen (just in dreams). He leaned down quick as his lips crashed into mine. His lips lingered on mine for a few moments and he slowly pulled away. "Edward, stop talking like that please... please just stop..." He was begging, I was frozen. "Everyone would miss you. If you didn't rant and rave about your height every time someone made a comment there'd be no one to make us laugh. If I didn't see your bright golden eyes full of attitude and spark, completely full of life and energy, storm through my office after every mission yelling at me with that smart ass attitude, there would be no exciting wait." He was smiling as he caressed my face with his soft hands as tears rolled off his cheeks. "The world would stop completely if you were gone. What would Alphonse do if you left him?" He sounded angry, "Especially in the state he's in?! What would all your friends do without you? What would all those people who you helped do if they found out you chickened out and killed yourself? I wouldn't know what to do if you were gone. There would be no reason to continue living. Without you, everything seems so damn dull and boring. You make everything exciting and worth while. I know Alphonse will be able to experience everything you have or will, I know you can restore your bodies. You just have to keep looking and believe in yourself again." he leaned down and pressed his fore head to mine and closed his eyes. "Why would you miss me, everything other problem I cause?" I asked my heart pounding. He opened his eyes and let go of my arms. "Where you listening at all!?" my heart felt like it was being ripped to a million pieces.
The phone rang a moment later as soon as Roy was about to answer my very important question... perfect timing... "Excuse me." Roy got up and headed to the kitchen phone, he didn't even look at me. I got up from the table and headed out to the parlor. I laid down on the couch and stared at the ceiling fan. I felt so small. I listened to Roy's voice as he talked to whoever. Probably a girlfriend. Then I realized... he kissed me. I could feel my eyes widen as my fingers ran over my lips. His lips touched mine... he kissed me. I sat up quickly just as Roy came into the back room. I sat up and moved to the right side of the sofa in case Roy was going to sit too. "That was Alphonse on the phone," definitely not a girlfriend, "he wanted to know where you were since you didn't call and he's been calling the apartment for hours. I told him you were staying with me because you weren't acting like yourself and-" I cut him off there, "WHAT! Now he's going to worry and might come down here! He can't see me like this!" jumping off the couch, I was beginning to panic, "Edward relax!" a hand over my mouth silenced me. "I'm just kidding! I know how you two react to each other so I told him you were just fine and you'll call him tomorrow! I told him I offered you a ride and you ended up staying later than expected. I lied to him and said you passed out after eating and were in the guest room." I was slightly relieved. His hand moved away from my face and rested on my shoulder. "You look tired, why don't you go to bed?" I looked up at him feeling my eye lids become very heavy, now that he mentioned it. "I don't wanna... be alone." I the last part was barely audible. "What?" He questioned."...I don't want to be alone, okay. I'm afraid of being left alone!" I almost yelled. "Then lay with me." I felt my face grow hot. I knew I was blushing like a mad man. "I can't do that!" I pushed him lightly turning the opposite direction of him,"Why not?". "Because I can't." he laughed. "I'm serious!" I turned back now angry. "Right." was all he said. Roy then wrapped one arm under my back and one under both my legs. Before I could complain or fight, saying I can walk on my own, his gave me a look that told me to be quiet. Roy carried me up to his room, which was now clean and there was no old Xing food on the floor. "Go an change into your night clothes, I'm going to get a shower." Roy pointed to my suitcases that were moved into his room at some point, before going into the bathroom.
I picked my suitcases up and headed for the guest room bathroom. I undressed down to my underwear and threw my dirty clothes in the laundry hamper. I stared at myself in the full length mirror on the wall next to the shower for a while, I started at my shoulders following my automail arm down to my legs. My left hand reached slowly for my fake arm and stopping short, I sighed and closed my eyes allowing my head to drop into my left hand. I felt a hand on my shoulder, "Are you alright?" Roy was dressed in a t-shirt and baggy gray pants, "Yeah, I'm fine..." I looked at the mirror again. I'm in my underwear. "WAIT! Get out, get out out! I'm not dressed you weirdo!" I pushed him out of the door closing it behind him as he was laughing hysterically. I dressed quickly in a tank top and shorts. By the time I got out Roy had turned out all the lights except the one in his room. I crept down the hall and peered into his room. I opened Roy's door and saw him sitting on his bed putting socks on. He looked at me and smiled.
Roy laid down and pulled me down on the opposite side of the bed and covered me us before crawling under the covers next to me shutting the light out. I scooted away from him a bit but he pulled me closer to him into the crook of his neck with his chin rested on my head. I could feel him breathing on me and his heart beating against my face. He had one arm wrapped under me and bent to hold my head close to him while the other held my automail arm. "Roy." he made a noise that sounded like a yes. "What are you doing?" I felt one of his legs move over both of mine ensuring I wouldn't be able to move. "Holding you." I wiggled my fingers and feet, "Why?" he stroked my hair and spoke softly, "Because you need it, and I don't want to take the chance of you doing something stupid like going off and dying somewhere." I looked up, I of course couldn't see him because of the lack of light but I could feel he was looking back. "I'm sorry for upsetting you earlier." I could feel myself blush again, I rested my head on his shoulder. "I didn't answer your question either." I had forgotten about that. "I'm not stupid and I know that you've had a crush on me for a while, I found out first when you were talking in your sleep in my office when I was a General." I felt my heart jump and my body go cold. "To be honest I developed feelings for you too the past few years but I didn't want to say anything because both of us would lose our jobs. But now all this has happened..." I couldn't form words, "I couldn't bring you to my house because the guards gossip and the servants would become suspicious of a man staying with me." he continued to run his fingers through my hair and twirl it in his hand. "I'm sorry." his grip loosened, "Don't be I enjoy this more than you know. But I can't stay long, like I said the guards and servants are gossips." a wave of disappointment washed over me. "So, where are we staying now?" I used my automail hand to remove his hand from my hair. "An apartment close to work I stay in when I lie about going on vacations." why would he lie about going on vacation? "When do you go back to work?" he rested his chin on my head again, "Tomorrow. Then I have to stay at my place with the guards who gossip and the servants who get suspicious." I laughed lightly and stopped when I realized I'd be alone again. The conversation ended with that, he and I eventually fell asleep.