Chapter Three

In the days that follow, it's all Selphie can do to keep from going to him. He's around, he hasn't left yet -- that's something, isn't it? He hasn't run screaming from the place. Of course, maybe all that means is that he can't.

She hasn't mentioned her dreams to anyone, not even Edea. She feels like he should be the first to know, but she doesn't want to push anything upon him.

He's had enough pushed on him already.

For the first time, Selphie wonders about his time as Ultimecia's Knight, really wonders. Had he … chosen that, truly? Or had it been chosen for him? Were all Knights chosen -- compelled beyond their will?

Was Squall like that, as well?

Nobody else really understands why Seifer is back, and Selphie wants to keep it that way. But … she has questions, and she thinks that Rinoa might be able to answer them for her. Rin's situation was the most similar to her own.

"Selphie," Rinoa says brightly, as she opens the door to her room and ushers Selphie inside. "How are you feeling today?"

Selphie doesn't answer; she can't. She doesn't honestly know. Instead of wasting time with small talk, she dives right in. "When Squall became your Knight -- did you choose him? Or did the magic … I don't know, kinda do it for you?"

Rinoa's brow furrows then, and understanding dawns on her face. She looks at Selphie very seriously. "The magic -- it compels you. Both. Sorceress and Knight. The magic, it just knows, somehow. Edea told me it's destiny -- that Sorceress and Knight are soul mates, whether they know it or not." She smiles a little at that.

Selphie chews her bottom lip nervously, wondering how she can best phrase the next part of her query. "So … Seifer … is he Ultimecia's soul mate, then?"

"No. I don't believe that," Rinoa says firmly, shaking her head. She goes to the small refrigerator she keeps in her room and pulls out two cans of soda. She hands one to Selphie. "I never did. I asked Edea, much later, and she doesn't think so, either."

"So then …" Selphie is confused, and she hates this out-of-control feeling she's got now. She sinks down onto the edge of Rinoa's bed, trying to steady her breathing and her nerves.

"Ultimecia's magic was … so different, Selphie," Rinoa says. "She had the power to bend time and space to her command. It gave her almost absolute control over … everything. Everything, Selphie. Even … us, people. I don't think that Seifer was ever meant to be a Knight, not the same way that Squall and Cid were."

"But isn't it … I mean, don't I sort of have Ultimecia's magic now?" Selphie asks.

"No, you have Ellone's magic. And yes, it was warped and twisted by Odine and by Ultimecia but, that doesn't mean it's all bad. It will slowly and surely become your own, and whichever way you're meant to take it, you will. You had dreams, right? When you were … sleeping?"

Selphie just nods, not wanting to talk about them. "Did you?" she asks Rinoa.

Rinoa nods. "I dreamed about everything that ended up happening -- space, time compression, flower fields -- Squall. And everything came to pass." She smiles. "So see, it'll work out, in the end."

Selphie feels her stomach drop then. Rinoa dreamed about things that came to pass … would her own dreams prove to be just as prophetic? "Did you know it was Squall, in your dreams?" she asks then.

Rinoa's eyes take on that dreamy look she gets when she's thinking about Squall, and Selphie quashes the urge to gag. "Yeah, I knew. I knew that I was going to do something bad, and that I'd be alone for awhile, but I knew that he'd find me. And he did! Not that it wasn't scary, though, floating out there in outer space. I did doubt it all, for a few minutes, I won't lie." She looks back at Selphie then. "Did you dream about your Knight?"

"I … I don't really know," Selphie says honestly. "He said he was, but I couldn't see him clearly. He said I'd find him soon … and I think I did, but … I don't think he's interested. What happens if the Knight denies the bond?"

"Adel. Ultimecia. It's basically a ticket to madness, from everything I've read and have come to understand," Rinoa says, her voice gentle. "Selphie, who is it?"

Selphie just shakes her head. "I'm not ready … I don't want this! So why should I even have expected that he would? Especially since …" She trails off and stands up from her perch on the edge of Rinoa's bed.

"Selphie?"

"I gotta go, I'll talk to you later, Rin. Thanks, though, for, you know, everything," Selphie says as she hurries out of the room.

Can't cry, not gonna cry, in the dream he said there was still time. I'm not going to burn the world to ashes, I'm not going to burn the world to ashes …

Burn the world to ashes, fire, everything lit up, pretty, pretty, no one can stop you, and you have all this power …

"Are you trying to kill me?"

Selphie feels herself being dragged from the dark pits of her mind at the sound of the voice, just a few feet away. Her hand feels hot, tingly, and there's a scorch mark on the wall in front of her, just inches away from where he is standing now.

"Didn't even realize you had that kinda fire power," he continues, and Selphie just stares. Had she … oh, she had. That voice in her brain, the one that sounded like her but wasn't … it had made her do things. And if he hadn't stopped her …

"Oh," Selphie says weakly, and she feels herself falling as her knees buckle and give out. He catches her, but she senses that he doesn't know why he's doing it. "Thank you," she breathes. "You stopped me from …"

"Don't," he says, and it is blunt, hard. She can see the flash in his eyes, and she feels his fear. "I'm not here to stop you from anything. I was just trying to keep my own ass from getting fried, you got that?"

Selphie's head drops against his chest as he holds her up -- he hasn't let go yet, and it's helping, it's helping so much, the world is quiet around her now -- and she lets out a muffled scream into the lapel of his long duster.

He pushes her away forcefully, and takes several steps back. "I'm not fucking doing this again!" he shouts vehemently. "Just let me go, you crazy bitch!"

"Seifer, wait!" she calls, and she hates herself for it. Hates that she needs him -- she doesn't want to need anybody.

"I mean it! Let me go. Whatever it is you're doing right now … stop it. Let me leave Garden." He is marching purposefully away from her now.

"I'm not her," Selphie growls, and he freezes and turns back to face her. "Please … can we talk?" Without meaning to, she sends a flash from one of her dreams to him, and he takes a few steps closer.

"Stop it," he tells her, but his voice isn't as certain now.

"I'm not doing anything," Selphie says helplessly. "The fact that you feel it too just means that Rinoa was right. This is real."

"No, this is fucking mind games, and I'm not doing it again."

Selphie holds her hands up. "Fair enough. I'm not Ultimecia, and I won't force you. But Seifer, you saw what just happened … what I just did. And you saw the dream. Will you at least talk to me, before running away?" She searches his face, and gets flashes of his mind, his thoughts. He's frantically going through his mental vault, all the stories he's read and heard about Sorceresses and Knights … he's looking for something.

Selphie realizes a moment too late what it is he's trying to find, and her eyes widen in fear. "Seifer, no, please … don't do that …" she says, but her voice is a mere whisper.

"Absum," he says coldly, and Selphie feels the flames engulfing her mind once again as she falls to her knees. In the ancient word that gave Knights their out-clause, he denied her.

"I'm not about to be Fate's bitch again," he says, and she watches him walk away through a veil of smoke and flame.