Ch 16: A Bump in the Road

House was growing restless once again. It had only been a month after the date had been set and he had to wonder if he really deserved the happiness that he was about to receive. Valentine's Day was nearing and he was also in a dilemma about what to get Cuddy for such an event. Wilson would be no help in this situation as he generally gave his women his credit card for the day and let them have at it, ending the night with food and sex. The more House thought about the whole situation, he less he was looking forward to it.

He avoided Cuddy around the hospital, falling back into his old habit of dodging clinic duty by hiding in an exam room with his game boy, the soap opera channel on, and perhaps a meal that he had stolen from the staff refrigerator. A patient wandered in occasionally and he was forced to deal with them by putting off their treatment in favor of having them entertain him for a while. Wilson found him quizzing a young brunette with perky breasts about cancer awareness and suggesting that he show her how to do a self exam, which would have been perfectly normal had she not come in with a head cold.

"What are you doing?" the oncologist asked as the young woman put her bra back on. "Can I talk to you outside?" Wilson avoided looking at the breasts as he ushered House out into the hall. "Are you trying to get Cuddy to break off your engagement?" he asked House exasperatedly.

"No. I'm just bored," House replied.

"I don't think checking out an eighteen year old girl's breasts is the best way to cure that boredom unless you want to be single again," Wilson pointed out.

"Cuddy's busy in her office. I haven't been laid all week, give me a break."

"Right. Your fiancé will give you a break…she'll break your unfaithful parts right off of your body."

House rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll stay away from the breasts of female patients," House started.

"And the asses!" Wilson told him.

House sighed. "Why did you have to come down here and ruin my fun?" the diagnostician asked. "Bored?"

"No. I came to ask you what you were planning to do for Cuddy for V-day," Wilson said. "I wasn't expecting to walk in on a dress rehearsal."

"I don't know what I'm going to do," House admitted annoyedly. He couldn't see why Wilson would have such a problem with him looking at other women. It wasn't as though he was in a relationship with Wilson.

"Well you'd better find something good, cuz the word is, Cuddy's getting you tickets and backstage passes to the Stones concert in September."

"Seriously?" House asked, his eyes lighting up.

"Yeah. So find something good. Fast," Wilson advised.

"Do you have any suggestions?" House wanted to know.

"No. You know how I satisfied my Valentine's Day requirements with women."

House rolled his eyes once more. "I'll just ask the team. They're probably a bit more helpful than you anyway..." House headed off in the direction of the elevator, leaving his best friend to go back into the exam room and prescribe cold medications for the girl who had bared her breasts for House's entertainment. Much to Wilson's pleasure he received her number in return.

House had questioned each member of his team about what they were planning for Valentine's Day and much to his annoyance, none of them were extremely helpful. They were all either loathe to give up their secrets or more interested in why he was interested. He decided to try Chase and Cameron for ideas, knowing that the new Mrs. Chase would most likely still help him out no matter what he needed.

As he suspected the prettier Chase told him to bugger off, but he found the wifey in the E.R. with a grin plastered all over her face. "You really want my help?" she asked, her eyes aglow.

"Not really, but as you're my last option…" House trailed off, hoping to quash her spirit a bit. She wasn't fazed, unfortunately, due to her many years of dealing with him.

"Take her out for a nice dinner and buy her some jewelry," she replied, the sickeningly bright grin never leaving her face. "She'll like it and you'll get some sex out of the deal. What's she getting you?"

"Not very original," he told her, storing the information away for later use. "And she's apparently getting me tickets and backstage passes for a Stones concert."

"Nice. Make it really expensive jewelry." House rolled his eyes, and turned to walk away, but couldn't help smirking as he made his way back to the elevators to gloat to Wilson about his plan.

"Do you know how to buy jewelry?" the oncologist asked. "Or if she prefers gold or silver, and what kind of stones."

"Don't need to know," he told his friend. "I've got lackeys for that kind of thing." And as soon as he returned to his office he sent Taub to spy on his fiancé for clues as to her preferences. Satisfied with himself, House turned on the television and flipped through channels until his spy returned with a suggestion of silver jewelry with sapphires for Cuddy.

"She has a silver chain," Taub explained. "And the sapphires would probably go really well with her coloring. What month was she born in?"

House looked at his calendar, annoyed that Taub had gotten so into the whole thing, but pleased to have the information he wanted. "October," he replied.

"Not her birthstone, but it'll do," the shorter man said with a grin, returning to the outer office to spread information about House's Valentine's Day with his colleagues. To his surprise, House was pleased with Taub's work and with the ideas for a nice romantic day with his future wife.