Hey, this isn't the end. There should be about ten chapters(maybe more). This chapter moves a little fast but I'm tired and have been up all night writing and thinking of where I'm going with this. I have up til' the next chapter figured out so now all I have to do is physically write it out edit it and finally fell like shit because I killed Alphonse like the jerk I am. :/

Thank you all by the way who review! Makes me want to write more, I try to respond to most of them but I think it's a little weird so I'm going to stop unless it's important.


Chapter 6: Rage and Negotiations

I woke up to a bright light in my face. Blinking rapidly I tried to adjust to the light, despite being groggy and light headed from being drugged. I tried to move. My arms and legs were strapped down to a hospital bed. I panicked as I remembered the horrific figure that was my brother gruesomely transmuted in Roy's office. I struggled harder against my restraints. "You're awake!" my eyes widened, it was Roy, his face was still pale and he looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks. "Where's Al!?" I barely choked out, my throat was so dry. Roy's hand dropped on mine squeezing tight, "H-he..." he inhaled deeply and closed his eyes. He looked like he was fighting back tears, he wouldn't even look at me. "He's dead." I let my head fall back onto the pillow and stared lifelessly at the light above me, a wave of cold chills ran up my body. Tears fled from my eyes, I couldn't make a sound. I felt movement on my arms and legs, apparently Roy untied me. Weight shifted near my legs, Roy sat next to me holding my hand again. He was saying something but I couldn't hear him, or I refused to hear him. I'm not sure. There's no way this is real.

I don't remember falling asleep again but when I woke up Roy was at the foot of my bed, still here with me. I tried my best to move without waking him but the bed was creaky and old. Roy jumped up before I could even sit up. "Are you okay, do you need something? I can help you..." his voice trailed off, he was barely able to open his eyes and keep them open. "You should go home and get some sleep." I tried getting up again but Roy was laying across my legs. "There is no way I'm leaving you alone, especially now." Roy helped me up and put my shoes on. My legs were like jelly and my equilibrium was off. Roy ended up carrying me to a wheel chair and pushing me out to the nurses station. He was talking to the doctor about my release. Riza was out in the waiting room on the other side of the glass doors. She stood when she saw me. I just stared at her, Roy was talking again. Roy pushed me through the glass doors, Riza ruffled my messy hair that was half braided. I took the hair tie out and put it in my pocket. Roy and Riza were whispering, I didn't care. They were taking me outside, it was still cold and dark like it had been raining. "Ed!" I jumped when I heard Riza yell. "What!?" Riza looked worried, she had good reason to. "I'm sorry, what were you saying?" she sighed and touched my shoulder before saying goodbye and heading back inside. "Why is she going back inside?" Roy didn't say anything. "Hey, don't ignore me." I grabbed his wrist and stood up, "Why is she going back?" I was angry now.

Roy wrapped his arms around me and help me tight repeating the same inaudible phrase. I held him back, it started to rain. Headlights shined on us, it was Roy's driver. The old man was yelling at us to get in the car. It was pouring hard, the rain hit the roof of the car like bullets. Both of us were soaked, the driver threw two large blankets in the back to us. "Cover up, I'll have you home soon." with that he rolled up the window that was between the front and back seats. Roy wrapped his arm around me pulling me close to him. He had a strong grip on my automail arm, he passed out. I just sat there thinking.

We stripped from our wet clothes as soon as we entered the upstairs bedroom. I wrapped myself with a towel and ran a hot bath. I left the door open so Roy wouldn't get suspicious if I took too long, which didn't matter because Roy sat on the counter watching me. The bathroom was steamy fogging up the mirrors, Roy was already dressed in night clothes, he was sitting on the counter with one leg up to rest his chin on his knee. "You'll turn into a raisin and rust if you stay in there too long." Roy tried smiling but looked so very tired. "You'll get gray hair by tomorrow stressing over me." I tried joking back but it felt so wrong to be joking when not even twenty hours ago, Alphonse died. "I'm not stressed, I'm... just concerned." he lifted his head and rolled up his sleeves before scooting off the counter. He knelt next to the tub, "You don't have to." he reached in and pulled the cork to drain the tub. "If I don't something is bound to happen, for example the water is freezing now and you didn't even notice." he was right. The bathroom was clear and mirror wasn't fogged up. Roy gave me a large towel. "You're shivering and you didn't notice." I dressed myself before cleaning up my dirty clothes and placing them in the guest room laundry hamper.

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"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T BE ON THE CASE!?" Roy locked the case files on Alphonse's murder in his desk. It wasn't really his, we were in his old office from when he was a General. Due to the fact his was closed off as a crime scene and everything was considered evidence. I knew the desk was completely alchemy proof so there was no breaking in. "You were emotionally involved with Alphonse I can't allow you on the case Ed, if we want to get anywhere on this case we need to be strictly professional and not let our emotions lead us in the wrong direction. It also didn't help that the first quarter of the investigation we were suspects! I'm sorry." Roy stood from his desk with a handful of other files that needed to be distributed. It had been more than a month since Al was murdered. "What about you, you knew Al too. Why do you get to be involved?" Roy handed the pile of papers to Riza who left as quickly and as quietly as she had entered. "One, because I'm the Führer and I have to oversee everything, not just Alphonse's case. Two, I don't want to see this! But if you don't have to I will do everything in my power to keep you from that burden. Just remember Alphonse from when he was alive and not this." he punched his rental desk and sat down, running his fingers through his hair. He was infuriated. "Alphonse wasn't a burden! I wasted so much time with you that I could have spent with him, or prevented what happened to him!" I left his office without another word slamming the door behind me. He was emotionally involved with Al too technically, he knew us both on a personal level outside of work. This was completely unfair. I continued to storm the hallways, apparently I looked angry enough for everyone to ignore me and keep clear of my path. I flung the front doors open practically running down the stairs. I didn't know where I was going nor did I care, I just needed to get away from here. It was almost Autumn and it was getting colder and windy.

I walked a few blocks to a nearby park and wandered around for about an hour, or more I wasn't checking time. I stopped under a tree and threw myself in the grass. I laid there looking up at the clouds through the twisted naked tree branches while running my fingers through the grass. This is crazy, I can't be left in the dark about this and I can't be doing nothing either. I've done nothing the past month except sulk around feeling sorry for myself when I should have been out helping with the investigation. I found out recently why Riza went back into the hospital when I was released a month ago, it was where they took Alphonse's body. I don't know why who took me there thought it was a good idea to do that. Riza was the first to look over evidence and supervised the autopsy. I overheard the conversation this morning on my way to Roy's office, she was talking to Hughes. It was a human transmutation circle that was under his body in Roy's office. I was able to see some of it when I passed by, the doors were left open as people were examining and cleaning. Who ever did this had experience in alchemy, at least to some extent. I stood up brushing myself off and headed for my apartment. I left Roy's a few days ago, it's not like he was home anyway. He hadn't been in weeks. But then again that house isn't his home it's just where he hides from the public. So I decided if I'm going to be alone then I should be alone in a place that didn't remind me of Roy. A crackle of thunder rolled in the distance, it was going to rain again. The air felt colder as the wind blew harder. I had to get home quickly.

I unlocked my apartment door and flipped on the lights. It felt so empty without Al here making a ruckus with his strays, which were given away last week. I was almost never home to take care of them anyway so there was no point in making them suffer. I closed and locked the front door and advanced to the kitchen. I opened the fridge knowing there wasn't anything good in there that I wanted, but I looked anyway only to close the door and go to my room. I undressed slowly to change into warmer clothes, on my way back to the family room I checked the thermostat to make sure the heat was on. It wasn't so it was super cold. I opened the blinds on the front window that gave me a view of the park I came from and buildings surrounding it. It was already raining violently by the time I sat at the dining table in front of the window. I watched the rain blur my view of outside and lightning flash in the distance. The thunder rumbled causing items in the house to audibly vibrate. I hated being alone so much, not because of feeling vulnerable but because of the silence was driving me mad. I continued to stare out the window until around eight at night, about four hours, when it became too dark to see and the street lights came on. The rain let up only slightly. I would do anything, give anything, to have just one more day with Al.

I though about earlier and how I went off on Roy. I realized how selfish I was and how horrible what I said must have hurt. It was dark in the room, I stood and felt for the light switch. I adjusted to the quick change from dark to light. I made my way to the kitchen again. I grabbed my address book, Al's was in the same drawer along with his book of things he wanted to do and try when he got his body back. I tried to ignore it and removed my address book looking for Roy's work number, I never thought to memorize it but at least I had it. There's no telling when this rain will stop and I can't take a chance out there with all the lightning, being half metal and in the middle of a lightning storm isn't a good combination. I walked over to the phone and dialed reading the number off twice to be sure I dialed correctly. It rang five times before it was answered, "Hello, what is it now?" he sounded irritated. He must have been receiving calls all day again. "It's me." no response. "I just wanted to say sorry for earlier, I didn't mean what I said about you. I know you were trying to be nice about it but I kept instigating." I wasn't sure if he was still there or not, "I know, I know. I wasn't mad at you. I'm just a little stressed right now. I'm going home in a few minutes. Do you want me to stop by tonight?" I thought about it as I looked out the window. "I don't really think it would be safe, I mean my apartment is closer to where you are but with the weather I'd advise against it." the rain was still pounding on the window and the lightning stopped. "Why are you at your apartment?" I thought about my answer before actually voicing it. "I had to get rid of Al's cats. I'm not home often and they are attention driven animals, I don't care for cats as much as Al did. I didn't think it was fair to make them suffer with my existence. They weren't fans of me either though." I lied a little, they had been gone for a while. "Ah, well I can stop by if you want. I'll even bring dinner if you want. I'm sure you've got nothing in your fridge at home, you haven't been there in months." it was nice of him to offer and it was true except the part where I hadn't been here for months, I've had a week to restock the house and I haven't. "Alright." I agreed without even thinking about it.