A/N;
Thanks to all those who faved slash reviewed my story. It means a lot -smiles-
I love these list things, they make me laugh. Hopefully I can make you laugh with this chapter.
I own nothing mentioned in this chapter.
R & R?
Iggy
The Hannah Montana concert, although ear-ache inducing, was great. Kissing Ella really is a fantastic experience you simply can't live without. I would recommend you try it, but then I'd have to punch you for kissing my girlfriend.
I'm sure Fang would be happy to point me in your direction.
Anyway.
Unfortunately for me, Ella had to go to school during the week, which really cut into our together time. Which meant more boredom for me.
Today, it was particularly bad. Nudge had dragged Max out shopping, Angel had gone with, and Gasser was tagging along for the free take-out food. Dr. M was at work, Total had taken over the TV, so there was no chance of me listening to anything, and Fang was...
Blogging, most probably. Then, inspiration struck. What better way to cure boredom, than with Google?
"Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!" I called loudly, stomping up the stairs to our room. I'd better make as much noise as possible, in case-
Wait, I'm blind. Duh.
"What?" he asked as I entered the room.
"I'm bored." I sat down on his bed, well aware of where he was due to the occasional click of a mouse and his slow, steady breathing.
"And?" I could almost imagine him raising his eyebrow in a very Fang-ish way.
"And- with the help of that little marvel on your lap, we're going to cure my boredom." I answered in an obvious tone.
"The internet?" He asked.
"How else?" I grinned. "Pull up Google, would ya?" He clicked and typed a few times, and bada-boom, Google was apparently up.
"What should we type in?" he asked. I shrugged.
"I know what I want to type in, but it's kinda useless when I can't see." He punched my shoulder, but didn't say anything.
"Hm... let's go for the obvious approach. Things to do when you're bored. Huh. Apparently a lot of people get bored these days."
"What do you mean?"
"Over 179,000,000 results."
I let out a low whistle. "Wow. Oh well- Fangster, there is a whole new door waiting for us, right at your fingertips."
"Drama queen." He muttered. "Let's just click the top link." He clicked the thingy, and waited, drumming his fingers on the keyboard. "Okay, prepare for your boredom to be cured."
"Promise you'll do the list with me?" I said, narrowing my eyes. He must've nodded, because he went; 'I'm nodding, Ig.'
Well, okay then.
--
Acting like Secret Agents was fun.
That was number one on the list. Hey- don't criticise! It's always good to get in touch with your inner child now and again.
"This is Blind Pyro to Prince of Emo, what is your position?" I whispered into an imaginary walkie-talkie.
"About 10 meters Due North of you. And I want to change my code name." Fang whispered back. I shook my head vigorously.
"There is no code name changing!"
"Whatever. Iggy, we've been at this for fifteen minutes, and all we've discovered is that Total cries in soap operas, which I already knew. Let's get back to the list and try something else." He replied, already going up the stairs.
--
"And I hereby award myself, by the power vested in me by the Gods of Boredom, the Nobel Peace Prize." I proclaimed, puffing my chest out proudly and grinning.
"Um... are you sure that's how the Nobel Peace Prize is awarded?" he asked sceptically. I shook my head and shrugged.
"Heh... no."
--
"Hey Total," Fang said conversationally, standing in the living room, "Will you marry me?"
"No." Total grumbled, "Now get out of the way of the TV!"
"Why?"
"There are a thousand reasons, but the most pressing- YOU'RE IN FRONT OF THE TV, WHICH I AM TRYING TO WATCH!"
"Okay then."
I slapped him a high-five as he walked past.
"Nicely done!" I applauded as he headed back upstairs.
--
"May I ask you two young men what you're doing?" a passing jogger asked, sounding a little out of breath. I shrugged, giving her a smile.
"We're hermits." I answered politely, "May I ask you what you're doing?"
"But... hermits live alone, and there are two of you... on your front lawn." She said slowly, as if she were speaking to morons. Hell, maybe she was.
"Your point?" Fang asked in his no-beating-around-the-bush way. "I'm sorry, but my Mom tells me not to talk to strangers."
The woman jogged off, with a bewildered look on her face I imagine.
--
"Unless Mr. Martinez or Jeb or whoever has been down here, I think we're boldly going where no man has gone before." Fang muttered. "It's way creepy."
We had boldly gone down to the basement, which Dr. Martinez had told us not to go into under any circumstances. An angry Dr. Martinez is never a good thing, so that's where the boldly came in. We were risking some serious feathers here.
Plus, in accordance to Fang's assessment- it was creepy.
"Woah... what's that?" Fang's quiet voice set me on edge.
"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm blind, Fang!" I hissed back.
"Oh... it's just a snake." Fang muttered. "Crap. We should probably get out of here." Ever so slightly, he brushed my arm and we started moving backwards, before sprinting for the stairs.
--
"This is crazy." Fang murmured as we crossed the street to the across-the-street neighbour's place.
"Hey- the list said we had to do it!"
"Which just proves my 'this is crazy' theory even more, Igs. We're doing what an internet list tells us to do. That can't be healthy."
"What isn't healthy about this? We're outside, getting exercise-"
"We're about to challenge an eleven year old kid to a duel." Fang cut in, silencing my good reasoning. I frowned.
"With sticks. He's not in any danger! 'Sides, Nudge is eleven! She kicks Eraser ass almost every day of the week!"
"Nudge is a genetically-enhanced mutant bird kid, Iggy." Fang reminded me. I scowled.
"Hmm. Oh well- we're still doing this!"
We knocked on the door, and it opened.
"Who are you?" I presumed it was the kid, because he had a kid's voice. "What do you want?"
"We challenge you to a duel!" I cried, pointing in what I hoped what the direction of the kid. Fang sighed.
"Um... what?"
"I said, we challenge you to a duel!"
"Mom... there's two crazy people at the door!" the kid wailed, running inside and slamming the door.
"Crap- run!" Fang cursed, grabbing my arm and hauling me away from the door.
"Hey- why wasn't that kid in school?"
"Maybe he was avoiding psycho's like you!" Fang cried. "I'm glaring at you, Iggy."
"Well his plan obviously didn't work." I shrugged. "What's the time?"
"2.45."
"Sweet! Ella will- I mean, they'll all be home soon." I corrected myself.
There was a beat of silence.
"You never did tell me what went down at the concert, Igs..." Fang was smirking, I could tell.
"Sure I did! I told you my eardrums might never recover." I said, pushing through the front door.
"What went down between you and Ella." He was wiggling his eyebrows, I bet. That bastard. I ignored him, going into the kitchen and feeling around for the juice. "Come on, tell me."
"Shut up, Prince of Emo." I retorted, pouring my juice.
"Never. Tell me."
"Go jump off a bridge."
"I can fly you moron."
"Go jump off a bridge with your wings tucked in."
"Tell me."
"No."
"Tell me!"
"Nope." I popped the 'p' loudly.
"Fine. I guess I'll just have to use my imagination, and then I'll have to tell Max." My eyes widened, and I nearly coughed up my juice.
"You wouldn't." I glared.
"You're right." He agreed, and I sighed in relief. "I'll tell Dr. M!"
I swear to God, the room would be spinning if I could see.
"We kissed. Nothing else happened. Don't tell Dr. M or I'll gut you with the kitchen knife I know to be right over there."
"Okay." Fang grinned. "Iggy and Ella, sitting in a tree-"
I groaned. Just fantastic.
--
"Um, Iggy, Fang? Could you come down here?" Dr. Martinez called, sounding confused. We decided to go downstairs and see what was up.
"Mrs. Livingstone called. She said that two boys came to her house today and challenged her son to a... duel?"
I could feel Fang glaring at me.
"Well..." I began, knowing what I said next could get us in serious trouble, or save us. Come on Iggy, you've got a way with words don't you? Fang's depending on you!
A beat of silence passed.
"It was all Fang's idea!" I cried, and then ran up the stairs and into our room.
"Coward!" Fang shouted after me.
A/N;
It was longer than most, and mucho fun to write. Hope you enjoy! R & R?