Ch 41: Here for the Party
House was settling into a hot bath when the phone rang. He groaned out loud, disappointed that someone would interrupt his quiet time with something as trivial as they were most likely doing. He stood up and wrapped a towel around his waist, then made his way toward the living room for the phone. He picked up and answered shortly, then paused as he heard the person on the other end of the line.
"In one month you will be bound in spirit and holy matrimony to the matriarch of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital," the voice said, a distorter clearly in use. "But are you ready for such a coupling? Soon a man will come and take you away. Don't try to fight as it will only get you into trouble. You will find the release of tension that you desire and will be officially prepared for marriage."
"Wilson?" House asked. "I'm trying to get a bath in so if you don't mind, we can talk about the bachelor party later."
The voice sighed, and, distorter still in use, replied. "You're not helping the mystery here, House."
House grinned. "Does Cuddy know you're trying to seduce me?" He could almost feel Wilson rolling his eyes.
"Dammit, House! Let me have my moment. You will be kidnapped in accordance with ritual and you will drink into oblivion with countless nude women surrounding you."
"Fine. Can we go over this later?"
"Don't be a pansy! Listen to me while you're in the bath for all I care, but listen!"
House limped back to the tub and listened patiently while Wilson rattled off all the things that he would have to 'endure' to become worthy of marrying Cuddy. When he finally finished, House's bath was cold and he once again stepped out. "Do you have any last requests as a single man?" Wilson asked.
"Can I kill you off?" House asked.
"Really? That's all you want? Your best friend…I mean, the man that warns you dead?"
"That and a pint of chocolate rum ice cream that I can lick off of a busty blonde," House replied. The laughter on the other end of the line made him smile as well.
"As you wish. For now, though, you'll have to endure a month of planning. Your friend Wilson also wants to know if you want to go to lunch…"
"Tell him to bring over some pizza and beer. Cuddy doesn't have any around here."
"I will relay the message," Wilson replied, chuckling. "Though might I add that if you had kept your own place until the vows were said, you wouldn't be put in such a poor living situation."
"Just get your ass over here," House replied before hanging up.
Wilson arrived shortly after.
A/N: I know this is a bit short, but I had to add a bit in about the planning for the bachelor's party and didn't want to put it in during another chapter. More will come soon!!!