Sollux cringed at the sound of his dad yelling. Not yelling, bellowing. He curled up under the covers, trying to block out the noise. But through not only the layers of cloth, but the walls, too, he heard the whip of a belt and a wail of pure pain. Then another. And another. He knew it was his parents in the other room, his dad with his thick leather belt with the brass buckle, worn from overuse. He knew his mom, too kind, wasn't strong willed enough to fight back. And he knew what would happen next: his dad would storm out of the house, and go to a bar where he would then drink the family's money away. Soon he felt the room shudder from the slam of the front door. He could hear his mother's quiet sobbing from across the room, a combination of Sollux's brother's death and her abusive husband. He could feel himself crying silently, wrapped up in his covers and curled up against the wall. He was used to this, this routine of his dad beating him and his mom. He would never forget how his dad would look him straight in the eye, gaze unwavering and sweat beading on his balding head, and shift his weight to one foot as he brought the belt across Sollux's side. He wouldn't forget the reek of alcohol on his father's breath as he panted after the beating, storming out of his room to get his fix of alcohol. Then Sollux heard a loud, ear piercing bang. He opened his eyes and quietly unwound his small form from the covers. Making his way towards his parents' room, he cracked the door open. There was his mom, laying splayed out on the floor. A gun was in her limp right hand, and a gaping red hole shown through the soft, pale skin under her chin. He walked forward a step, where he collapsed on his knees and lay on the floor next to his mom. He stared at her lifeless form, soft dark hair spread around her head, and realized that this was the first time she'd looked happy in years.

Sollux's eyes snapped open. His cheeks were wet, he had been crying in his sleep. The dream played over and over again in his head and he sat up in bed, groaning. It wasn't the first time he'd had this dream, he'd been having it for years. The incident with his mother had hooked onto his mind like a parasite, eating away at Sollux with every passing day. He sighed and glanced at his clock. 5:20. Lots of time. He pulled his laptop onto his lap and started some quick programming. He opened up his IDE (integrated development environment) and started pounding out code frantically, in an attempt to block the scene from his mind. A small "bing" signaled that someone was messaging him. The noise sounded much too cheerful to be the person who caused it. Sollux groaned.

CaligulasAquarium [CA] began messaging TwinArmageddons [TA] at 5:45 AM

CA: hey Sol

TA: ugh you agaiin?

CA: yep. Deal wwith it.

TA: diid you 2leep at all?

CA: for 45 minutes. That's a new record.

TA: Jeez. What do you do for all that tiime?

CA: Wwell I mostly paint…

TA: Oh, really? I diidn't know you were an artii2t

CA: Yeah I'm amazing, I knoww.

TA: I'll have two 2ee them for my2elf. Ii2 there a rea2on why you can't 2leep?

CA: My brother is constantly fucking girls and guys and his mattress is right up against my wwall and squeaky as fuck.

TA: Oh wow…that really 2ucks, I even feel bad for an a22hole liike you. Where are your parent2?

CA: Oh thanks Sol. and dad's never home, mom's cracked up on antidepressants

TA: You're iin a bad mood, aren't you

CA: Shut the fuck up, asshole.

TA: great. Im 2o lookiing forward to seeiing your lovely face at work

CA: Fuck you. I can practically hear your voice in my head and it's already pissing me off

TA: Ii2 my voice too har2h for your royal ear2?

CA: Yes. Quite.

TA: God. Why diid you even 2tart talkiing to me?

CA: wwell I was goin' to tell you but then you started pissin' me off again.

TA: 2o you're 2aying you have a rea2on thii2 tiime?

CA: Yeah I wwas wwondering if you wwould cover my shift tomorroww.

TA: Why, Iif you miind me a2kiing.

CA: I'm going dowwn to southern California for a surfing trip with my friend and it wwould be awesome if you covvered friday. Then I could get twwo days of surfing in.

TA: You surf? And wow I can't beliieve you even have a friend.

CA: Shut the fuck up. And yes, I've surfed for a wwhile. Wwil you do it or not?

TA: Yeah fiine, but you owe me a22hole.

CA: Thanks

TA: Iit'2 fine. 2ee you at work

CA: bye.

TwinArmageddons [TA] ceased messaging CaligulasAquarium [CA]

Sollux shut his laptop and ran a hand through his hair. He cringed. I should probably take a shower. He stumbled over to his bathroom, still sleepy, and splashed cold water on his face. He pulled open the mirror to reveal a small cabinet behind it with a toothbrush, toothpaste, and his pills. He screwed open the bottle and took the pills quickly, trying not to think much about it. As he set the bottle back on the counter, he noticed that the rattle of the pills was loud and spaced. There were only 12 pills left. He dismissed it, making a mental check to get more at the hospital later. Pulling back the molding plastic shower curtain, he stripped to nothing and turned the water on to full hot.

Stepping in, he winced at the heat, but immersed his whole body in. The scalding water washed his pain and stress away, and it felt good, if only for a few moments. As he scrubbed his body with soap, he watched as the suds dripped and swirled into the drain. His eyes blurred for a second and suddenly the floor was wooden, and the soap was a deep scarlet, the color of his mom's blood. It pooled around his feet, staining his skin red, and he gasped, stepping back and pressing himself against the cold shower wall. He blinked and everything was back to normal. The porcelain tub was a dull white, no blood stained his skin or the drain. Sollux sighed. He was used to this. He turned the squeaky knob and pulled back the curtain, wincing as cold droplets from the curtain flicked onto his still steaming skin. Drying off with the threadbare towel, he thought of Eridan. He wondered what it would be like to have your older brother take home multiple people every night, with no parents to stop him. Sollux had been through things no one should have to go through, but he still couldn't imagine how revolting it would be if his older brother, Mituna, would do that. But Mituna's dead because of you. He's dead because you're a coward. He tried not to let the voice get to him. Slipping his clothes on, he grabbed his stuff and shuffled out of his apartment, locking the door behind him.

At work, he saw Eridan who scowled at him as usual. He was sure to scowl right back. He talked to Vriska for a bit, apparently they were getting two new workers tomorrow, and then made his way towards Eridan. As he got closer, he could tell that he was in a worse mood than usual. His hair wasn't quite as spiked as it could have been, and his face looked like it was locked in a permanent frown. He still looks cute, though, Sollux thought, but quickly shook it off.

"Whath bothering you?" Sollux asked.

"Nothing," he snapped, "Shut the hell up, idiot" He ignored the comment and went on

"You know I won't," he said with a smirk, "Tho will you tell me?" Eridan blushed and looked down, muttering a curse under his breath.

"Well," he started, "I was wondering if-" He was interrupted by the first customer entering the store. Sollux shrugged it off. After all, he didn't need Eridan's problems on his shoulders, he had enough of his own. He hopped off the table he had been sitting on and went to help the customer.

Eridan stared after him, eyes wide. Holy shit was I just about to tell him I liked him? He let a breath out through his mouth, thankful for the customer's interruption. As he watched Sollux help the customer, he sighed. I really have no chance at this. He totally hates me, and he's not even gay…

"Eeeeridan?" He snapped his head up in surprise to be met with Sollux's face a tad closer to his than it should have been, his eyes squinting at him through his oval glasses. He jolted back, eyes widening and a blush spreading across his cheeks I was totally spacing out.

"Wha-what?" he stuttered. Sollux pulled back and chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. Eridan stared at him. God, he looks so hot like that it's infuriating.

"I've been trying to get your attention," he said, "there mutht be something on your mind." He shifted and continued,"Anyway, there'h a cuthtomer over there who you thhould conthult. You're the app perthon, I can deal with the hard thtuff." He walked off and Eridan glared at his back, sheepishly stepping over to the customer and hoping he wouldn't get too distracted today.

At noon, it was time for their lunch break and Sollux was out the door before Eridan could ask him where he was going. Truthfully, Eridan kept making him have weird (not exactly bad) feelings in his stomach, and strange thoughts, and he needed to get away and process them without Eridan distracting him. What a better place than Starbucks. As he pulled open the door, he breathed in the rich aroma of coffee and smiled slightly. Ordering a cup of dark french roast, he slid into a chair and put his head in his hands. He leaned his elbows on the table and sighed. I don't want to deal with the way he makes me feel. He paused, realizing something. No its not that. I don't know how to deal with it. He took a sip of his coffee, noticing that they spelled his name wrong for the millionth time, and slouched into his chair. Suddenly, he could see a pair of striped skinny jeans and groaned, shutting his eyes. Speak of the devil. Sollux pushed his glasses down to rub the bridge of his nose, preparing himself for what would surely come. There was a huff of air as Eridan plopped down in the seat across from Sollux. He flicked his scarf back and sipped at his caramel mocha, staring at Sollux. Sollux's stomach fluttered and he frowned at his reaction.

"What do you want?" he sighed.

"To talk to you," Eridan stated, "don't you think we should get to know each other a little more? We do work together" Sollux was about to respond, when a small strand of purple hair fell in front of Eridan's face. He had a sudden urge to brush it back, and he brought his hand up before realizing how weird that would be, and dropped his hand to the table. It landed with a loud thunk, making the drinks on the table tremble. Eridan stared down at Sollux's hand with a confused expression. Fuck. Why did I almost do that? What the hell? Eridan took another sip of his mocha and licked his lips. That barely visible sight of his tongue sliding from between his lips made Sollux's stomach jump again. That set him off. He frowned again, standing up and pushing his chair back with a loud rattle on the tile. He grabbed his drink and glared down at Eridan.

"Jutht-jutht fuck off" he said with exasperation with himself. He saw Eridan's sparkling aqua eyes blink once at him in confusion before he stormed out, ignoring the wide-eyed glances pointed in his direction. He leaned against a building wall a few blocks away and felt his eyes start to well up. What's happening to me?