You Jump, I jump
Written by StrawberryGirl87
Hogwarts no longer feels like home, it is time to move on but Harry has nowhere else to go. Standing on the precipice of uncertainty he finds a helping hand from the most unlikely of people. Someone who is willing to stand by his side when things seem bleak.
Chapter Four
Leaving their room at the Leaky Cauldron was surprisingly hard for the two of them. Their room had been a safety net for them both, like two children with a security blanket that they couldn't bear to the parted with. It had protected them from what was happening in the world outside and sheltered them when they had needed it most, giving them the solitude to simply be. However it was painfully clear that they would not be able to remain here when the Daily Prophet had announced across its front page the disappearance of Harry Potter.
They had seen it when they had attempted to venture out together to claim their galleons so to begin their journey both mentally and physically on the road to recovery. They had left it too long and now Harry was officially a missing person within the wizarding community. Everyone knew his face and would be looking for him. The Witches and Wizards that cared and supported him would not allow their hero to simply walk away from his fame and glory. There was no way that Harry could simply wander through Diagon Alley as if nothing was out of sorts. If he were spotted then there was no doubt in his mind that he would be dragged either to Hogwarts or the Ministry where he would be celebrated. He didn't want to be celebrated, he wanted to be left alone. He didn't understand how no one could understand this.
They didn't want to separate from one another anymore than they wanted to be recognized on the street, it was a difficult decision to make but finally they decided that they had no other choice but momentarily part ways for otherwise they would be stuck here in their dingy hotel room, waiting to be discovered. They needed money or they wouldn't get far.
The two of them had bared themselves wholly to each other since they had left Hogwarts and were not ready for that to be over just yet, they wouldn't let something as trivial as money stop them from continuing onwards together.
Draco walked down the cobbled street feeling very much alone and scared without Harry at his side, keeping his head low so not to be noticed and yet he still felt eyes on him, glaring at him. He was unwelcome here. The battle was over and the Malfoy name held no merit any longer. No one feared or respected him because of his blood status and money in fact they thought less of him because of it. This was how it would always be now, he knew that and he had come to terms with it. He couldn't have been happier that he would soon be leaving here.
The Gringotts Goblins were not thrilled to see him but they helped him none the less and he was able to take a large chunk of his fortune out of his personal vault, some of which he converted into muggle money as per Harry's instruction. The Gryffindor had despised the fact that he was unable to gain access to his own vault, hating that everyone in the wizarding world was looking for him. He didn't want to be found, not yet anyway. He was determined that until he was ready he wouldn't be. He had spent a year on the run from Voldemort and countless snatchers without being caught, he could do that again.
During Draco's absence the small bedroom had felt horribly empty and even cold. The silence had quickly surrounded him, encompassing him with his depression and overwhelming guilt. He missed the presence, the familiar beating of another heart and the small noises that came with cohabiting with another person. He had curled up in a ball on his bed that he had shared with Draco, the familiar scent still lingering upon the pillow.
If he had been brave enough then he might have closed his eyes, imagined that Draco was still lying beside him. However he was too fearful that he might fall asleep. Without the other teen beside him he feared his nightmares would come back to claim him. His entire body was wrapped up in Draco's scent as he wore the blondes clothing as he had none of his own. However he lacked his warmth, his compassion, the swirling of silver orbs that he could never get enough of staring into.
Separation for the two of them after the short time they had spent together was too much. With Harry curled up so tightly to inhabit as little space as physically possible waiting for his companion to return he allowed silent tears to fall with missing him.
He kept his mind occupied with wondered what Ron and Hermione were doing now. Had they been the ones who alerted the Daily Prophet that he was missing? Was it possible that maybe they understood his need to disappear and had just allowed him to go? Perhaps it had been Ginny and she was still waiting for him. However he couldn't believe that it was her either.
No, he was certain that his friends would not betray him like that, instead it was the wizarding world, they needed their hero, they needed to celebrate him, worship him for his triumph. Harry however found that he wasn't interested in any of that, he wasn't that person anymore and would never be again.
He had walked into the open embrace of death and death hadn't wanted him. No one wanted him, not for who he was now that he lacked a part of Voldemort's soul. No one wanted him apart from Draco, who was perhaps the only person who truly saw him. He could look past the façade of the boy-who-lived, the golden Gryffindor and see that he was just a boy. He had been robbed of childhood innocence, forced to be someone that he never wanted to be and left wondering if his life was really worth living now that his mission was done.
"Harry," The Slytherin said as he came back, scared that he might find Harry gone. This fear had filled him every second that he had been gone. He had been terrified of finding their room empty, that Harry would have taken the chance to slip out and Draco would once again be alone. This scared him more than he would ever have thought was possible. The idea that he might one day lose Harry didn't bear thinking about.
"Dray …" Was the whispered reply that made Draco's heart soar. No one had ever shortened his name in such a sweet way or said it so sweetly either. To hear it whispered softly from Harry's lips made him want to hold the boy and never let go. When he saw that he was upon the bed he shed his cloak and went to lie beside him.
"You've been crying," Draco said, observing the damp tear tracks upon the olive skin as he settled upon the bed beside his friend, laying down beside him. Like magnets their hands found each other and joined together. Their peaceful contentment surrounding them once more now that they were together again.
"It doesn't matter," Harry said quietly.
"It matters to me," Draco responded looking to Harry imploringly, willing him to divulge his pain on to him. All he wanted to do was be there and to help the fragile teenager who was close to breaking down completely and irreversibly. He knew that he would do anything for him.
"It's stupid," Harry said feeling foolish for having shed a tear for such a trivial emotion when there were so many stronger ones raging inside of him that should have taken over. However it was this one emotion that had stirred him to tears in the absence of one person and Harry couldn't even figure out why.
"Tell me," Draco pleaded, he wanted Harry to feel secure and safe enough to be able to tell him anything. He wanted them to share their deepest, darkest secrets, the fears that haunted them and the regrets they had.
Draco found himself enjoying the flush of red that lit up the otherwise gaunt cheeks of the underfed Gryffindor. "I missed you," Harry admitted and it lightened Draco's heart to hear him say those words. It meant that he wasn't feeling these stirring emotions alone, what they were sharing in their intimately personal moments together as a joint experience.
"I missed you too," Draco returned, "I hated every minute that we were apart. I was scared that I would come back and you would be gone."
"Where would I go?" Harry asked but it was not a question that Draco could answer. "I've never wanted to be anywhere as much as I've wanted to be with you."
"Well I'm not going anywhere and now we have the money to go anywhere you want to go and we'll do it together."
"There is somewhere I need to go first," Harry said and it pained him to think of that place. It may only have been brick and mortar but it symbolised more than that. Both love and loss had been experienced within the walls. The building would never be able to outgrow the shadow of war and darkness that had infected it in Harry's mind.
However he had to go back there. All of his prized belongings that he didn't think that he could live without he had charmed to return themselves to Grimmuald place so that if he were ever separated from them he would always know where to look to find them again. It wouldn't be long until the place was searched looking for him. It was now or never, they couldn't really delay going there no matter how much Harry wanted to.
"Anywhere," Draco replied and meant it. He would follow Harry anywhere that he wanted to go and he would do it willingly. He felt that he was a better person when he was with Harry, a stronger one too. He felt that he would be able to conquer anything as long as he was by his side.
"My Godfather left me a house when he died, I have some things there that I'd like to take with me, with us. Also I can't keep wearing your clothes," Harry said attempting a watery smile. Draco swore that he would do everything in his power to ensure that he saw that smile return, brighter and truer than what he had just witnessed. He craved desperately to make him laugh, to make him happy. He would ensure that Harry had plenty of reason to smile if he had anything to do with it.
"I quite like you in my clothes," Draco replied, "They look good on you." Harry's blush rose again and the blonde found it both endearing and sweet that he didn't know how to accept the compliments given to him. He would always enjoy seeing Harry's cheeks slightly flushed with embarrassment.
Unspoken words hung in the air. Neither of them had the words to voice them yet but they could feel them in the silence that descended as they lay together. They both silently danced around the undeniable emotions that flowed between them, their connection undeniable. Neither of them was ready to accept what they were feeling for each other, the war having damaged them too severely. It would take time for them to heal and neither Harry nor Draco could see any way of doing that without being with each other.
For both of them it was just the two of them that mattered. The Wizarding world would continue to search for their saviour. Whether they found Harry Potter would be of no consequence because the Saviour was long gone. He had been replaced by a boy who was lost and confused, uncertain of himself and his emotions. If there was anything at all that he was certain of then it was the blonde Slytherin who lay beside him, their hands joined like they were all that mattered.