You Jump, I jump

Written by StrawberryGirl87

Hogwarts no longer feels like home, it is time to move on but Harry has nowhere else to go. Standing on the precipice of uncertainty he finds a helping hand from the most unlikely of people. Someone who is willing to stand by his side when things seem bleak.

Chapter Five

Number twelve Grimmauld Place seemed just as dark and foreboding as it ever had. Even with the weight of war lifted from it the building still stood like a beacon of depression looming over them. Draco had known this place as a child, his mother after all had been a Black. Sometimes Harry forgot the family ties that Draco had to his Godfather. Sirius had not only been his Godfather but he had also been Draco's Uncle.

"I never thought I would see this place again," Draco admitted, he and harry were stood on the street outside of the ominous building, the Gryffindor too afraid to go inside. The last time he had set foot here it had been with Ron and Hermione during their hunt for horcruxes, it had been a necessity to be there then and it was a necessity to be here again today. However this time he couldn't bring himself to go inside. Harry owned this house, he had every right to be here but that wasn't what was stopping him.

"This is harder than I thought it would be," Harry admitted, the two of them were joined by the hands, as always. It had become like second nature for them both, a comforting gesture that both enjoyed and neither wanted to analyse.

"I could always go inside for you," Draco suggested as once again they stood on the precipice of uncertainty.

"No," Harry said with as much confidence as he could muster, this was something that he had to do himself. Asking Draco to go inside and collect what he needed was the cowards choice to make. He had to face the horrors in his past or he would never be able to learn to live with them. "I have to do this," He said giving Draco's hand a small squeeze.

"Then let's do it, the two of us, together." It had almost become their mantra, to say that they would do it together, a never ending partnership and a promise to see each other through the worst of their nightmares. With their hands still linked they took the first hesitant step forward as if they were children just learning to walk for the first time. Harry's heart hammered in his chest, fear filling him to the core but with Draco there to support him he felt as if he might be strong enough to survive this painful journey.

Reaching the battered front door Harry took a deep breath to steady himself, withdrawing his wand and unlocking it. With a foreboding creak the door opened, daylight flooding through the open door, illuminating the dark hallway within, the gas lamps that lined the wall coming to life for them. A musty smell overpowered them as they stepped foot inside, a feeling of unease settling between them. The house itself was as deeply dank and dark as Harry always remembered it to be but there was also something familiar, something warm. It wasn't long before he figured out what.

They progressed through the corridor towards the steps that would lead them down into the basement and the house kitchen where they found the large fireplace roaring with a bright flickering flame, heating the room. The long wooden table in the centre of the room was occupied by two familiar faces that Harry had not expected.

Ron and Hermione were sat looking awkwardly at the two teenagers that had walked in, hands joined and looking terrified. "Harry…" Hermione said in a pained tone.

"Don't," Harry pleaded with her, shaking his head.

"Should I wait upstairs?" Draco asked feeling as if he really didn't belong, the first time since he and Harry had set off from Hogwarts that this emotion had ever occurred to him. These were his true friends, not him, they were the ones who had been through hell an d back to destroy Voldemort. He hadn't done any of that for him.

"No," Harry said instantly, gripping Draco's hand tighter and making the Slytherin's doubts vanish in a second. "Stay, please."

Ron glared at them both, none of them had failed to spot that they were holding hands. "We thought that you might come here, we had hoped you would, to collect your things," Hermione said explaining why they were just sat here waiting. "When you left, we were worried."

"I'm fine," Harry lied, "I just couldn't deal with everything, I still can't."

"But why with him and why are you holding hands?" Ron spat out viciously, Harry grimaced at the tone that his best friend used. He had disregarded the past behaviour, he didn't want Draco hurt anymore, not when he had done so much for him already.

"It's hard to explain but we're friends, we're helping each other," Harry said slowly and quietly, never once loosening his grip. "I can't go back to the wizarding world, at least not yet."

"Why," Hermione asked, "We're your friends, who could understand better than us what you're going through?"

"The two of you stood by my side, you had so much faith in me and together we defeated him, I couldn't have done that without you. I trust that you know that but this is something else. I don't know who I am or why I survived. I love you both dearly, I will always love you but I need you to keep trusting me, please," Harry begged with them, "I need you to understand that it's important for me to just disappear for a while. I need to figure out where I belong."

"And Malfoy, where does he fit into this?" Ron asked as if Draco weren't stood before him, pointedly ignoring him.

"I owe him my life Ron and vice versa, neither of us truly belongs in that world anymore. After everything that has happened please don't make me explain this. This is what it is, we're friends, I need him. As soon as I have my things we'll be leaving and we won't be coming back to the familiar places anymore. I'm asking you not to come looking for me again."

"How can you ask that of us Harry, after everything that we've been through together, how can we just let you walk away not knowing if we'll ever see you again? The whole wizarding world is looking for you!" Hermione said, clearly upset.

"I know how difficult …"

"No you don't," Ron said standing up now, his voice raised, "You just left, we needed you, everyone did and you just fucked off with Malfoy. How selfish can you get?"

Harry could speak, he was just too shocked, hurt by what Ron had said. Draco however was fuming. He had seen the physical scars Harry bore, witnessed what the emotional ones were doing to him and his supposed best friend was calling him selfish for leaving when all he had wanted to do was to heal.

"Back off Weasley," Draco snarled defensively, he wanted to protect harry no matter what the cost was. He wasn't about to let a so called friend attack him, he had been through too much to have to suffer through this as well.

"Draco don't," Harry said to him pleadingly.

"No, ferret boy has something to say, let him say it," Ron bit back with spite.

"Harry has stood up and defended the entire wizarding world since he was eleven years old, fending off a maniac trying to kill him, how can you call him selfish when after seven years he decides that he needs to get away from it all?" Draco shouted, furious that the two who were supposed to be the closest to the saviour were so blind to his pain.

"What would you know about it Malfoy, you were helping Voldemort for most of the war. You didn't switch sides until you knew he was going to die. You should be locked up in Azkaban."

"Stop it, both of you!" Hermione said getting up from the table and making herself heard. "You have to stop fighting. If Harry trusts Draco, says they're friends then we have to trust his judgement." She then turned to Harry, "Help me understand why," She pleaded with him, "I don't want you to leave but maybe if I can understand why you need to go …"

"You know that Voldemort was always a part of me Mione, ever since I was a baby there has always been a small part of Tom Riddle dictating who I was. He infected me, seeped into my personality. Now that he's gone and my soul is my own …. I don't know who I am. If I stay here then I'll be recruited to the Ministry, become an Auror and spend my life catching dark wizards and being the hero but I'm not a hero anymore. I don't know who I am without that small part of Tom's soul and I need to find out. To do that though I can't be here."

"Now that I can understand," Hermione said, wiping a tear from her eye. Reaching round and under the table where she brought out Harry's back pack. "Everything you might need or want is in here. We found here when we arrived yesterday, we knew you wouldn't go anywhere without it."

Harry looked at her gratefully, "Everything?" He asked her to be sure and she nodded.

"The cloak, the mirror, the map, the photo album, your firebolt, clothes, the tent, just in case and I've even put some potions in there that you might need, dreamless sleep and such because I know you'll still be having your nightmares. They're all labelled, I've put a few books in to help you make more if you need it. Oh Harry, I wish you didn't have to leave." She flung her arms around him and for the first time Harry had to release Draco's hand so that he could hug her back.

"I know and I'm sorry Mione," Harry returned. Then, surprising them all, she turned to Draco.

"You may not like me," She said to him sternly, "I'm not a great fan of yours either but if harry trusts you then I'm prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt. I swear that if you hurt him in any way I will hunt you down and make Voldemort look like a fluffy bunny rabbit in comparison. Do you understand me?"

Draco looked at the plain girl, startled, impressed and downright terrified of her all at the same time. He nodded, "Harry told you that he needed me, well I need him just as much if not more. I have no intention of hurting him," Draco told her honestly. Ron stood back looking at them all disapprovingly. His Weasley stubbornness was not going to let him be included in this. He would never trust Malfoy and he wasn't even a great fan of Harry at that moment. He had heard and understood all of what Harry had said about his soul and Voldemort's and needing to find himself but he still couldn't see how that meant he had to leave. Harry was his best friend and he was going to be left behind.

"Promise me that you'll keep in contact Harry, please, let us know that you're safe even if you can't tell us where you are." Hermione pleaded as she turned back to Harry.

"I promise." Harry returned before taking Draco's hand back in his own. "We'll be alright Mione, this is just something that we have to do."

Hermione watched the two of them interacting and she knew. Even if they didn't she could see the way they linked hands and the way they looked into each other's eyes. She also knew better than to say anything. She recognized the same awkwardness and uncertainty that had haunted her around Ron for years. She smiled at her friend fondly, confident now more than ever that with Draco he would be alright. She handed over his backpack and kissed them both on the cheek. "Be safe," She said quietly to them both.

Ron just stood back and didn't say a word. He had never been very good at expressing any emotion other than anger and annoyance. It had taken seven years and a war for him to finally admit to Hermione that he loved her. Seeing his best friend leave with someone who was supposed to be their worst enemy was too many complex emotions for him to deal with within the short space of time that they had so he remained quiet. He did however give them both a curt nod of his head as they ascended the staircase into the main body of the house again.

It was perhaps the result of Harry and Draco's trip to Grimmauld place and finding Ron and Hermione there so unexpectedly but it had been made painfully clear to him that there were other places that he had to go in order to find closure. He wanted to retrace his steps and figure out who he was and where he came from without Tom being a part of him. Now all he had to do was break this to Draco.