You Jump, I jump
Written by StrawberryGirl87
Hogwarts no longer feels like home, it is time to move on but Harry has nowhere else to go. Standing on the precipice of uncertainty he finds a helping hand from the most unlikely of people. Someone who is willing to stand by his side when things seem bleak.
Chapter Six
Leaving Ron and Hermione behind was a lot easier than Harry thought it would be. Harry felt that his journey with them was done. They had tread the same path for the last eight years, now it was time to go their separate ways. The two of them had their own lives to lead now, apart from him. They were a couple now, they had to figure that out between the two of them, they didn't need Harry acting as a third wheel while they were doing that. He had his own path to follow.
Draco was strangely silent as they walked through the long, dimly lit corridor towards the front door. Harry could tell that there was something on his mind that was clearly bothering him a great deal. Simply because something was very clearly on Draco's mind bothered Harry more than it really should have done.
"Are you okay Dray?" Harry asked softly as they reached the battered old door that would lead them out on to the street and on to the next stage of their journey. The portrait of Mrs Black that stood not two feet away was still firmly closed but Harry was aware of her, silently languishing in her own hatred behind the drawn curtains, knowing that if she were awake then she would be able to hear every word they said.
Draco looked to Harry sadly, unsure of what to say or voice how he was feeling. The two of them were so intensely connected now that it seemed so trivial to seem second best to the likes of Ron and Hermione but he did. It was a feeling that he couldn't shake off.
"It doesn't matter," He said in place of the several things that went through his mind when Harry asked the question. Most of them had sounded stupid even as they had raced through his mind. He wasn't sure that he wanted Harry to know about his insecurities in regards to him. He didn't want to give away exactly how much he cared for him.
"It always matters," Harry replied, turning so that they were stood in the dimly lit hallway facing each other, "You matter." His words were soft and true, Harry was not one to speak lies even to comfort. What he said was the truth.
"I don't want to drag you away from your friends … what if I'm not enough?" Draco asked feeling extremely foolish. He had never felt adequate when it came to Harry Potter. From the moment on the Hogwarts express on their way to school for the first time when he had been refused friendship so publicly. He had been humiliated then and here he stood feeling as if that were about to happen all over again. Draco Malfoy was not the kind of person who took humiliation well, especially not from those he cared for and admired.
"How can you believe that you wouldn't be enough for me after everything you've done for me the past few days, I wouldn't have survived them without you?" Harry asked him putting his bag down and taking both of Draco's hands in his own, looking into his eyes to make him understand the truth and the honesty in his words.
"Because I'm not lucky enough to have someone like you in my life. I don't deserve you as a friend." Draco truly believed this after seeing the way Hermione had treated Harry, the care and attention she had afforded just in packing his bag, ensuring that he might have everything he needed and more. She deeply cared for him, it had been painfully obvious that he was not worthy of anything Harry Potter had to offer him. He wanted to offer the Gryffindor a way out, an opportunity to escape before they became so deeply embroiled in one another that there was no way out.
Harry looked adorably confused at how anyone could think that they weren't good enough for him when he didn't believe he had any value or self-worth at all. He raised one hand, cupping it around Draco's cheek, the blonde leaned into the tender touch, closing his eyes and relishing the touch that he was sure meant goodbye.
"This is my choice Dray," Harry said sweetly, "I'm lucky that you found me that night because I wouldn't be standing here without you. We have each other and that's all that matters now."
Both of them had serious issues with feelings of validation and worth. It was difficult when they had both experienced so much. It would take time but they wanted to make each other understand why they were the way they were and what gave them their doubts and misgivings. Only time would be able to heal the two of them.
"I want to take you somewhere," Draco said suddenly. It was a place that not even his parents had wanted to revisit with him often as it was a place that held a great deal of personal grief for their family but Draco felt that he had to go back there and pay his respects and now was the time to do it. He would never feel right with himself until he had. "Do you trust me?" He asked of Harry, knowing that asking Harry to accompany him somewhere that he had no idea of could have raised alarm bells but even as he spoke Harry remained looking calm and understanding.
"Of course," Harry said and meaning it. Aside from Ron and Hermione there wasn't anyone he could think of that he trusted more. He felt completely at ease whenever he was around Draco, it was a feeling of complete safety and contentment that he had never experienced before. Only Hogwarts castle had ever given him a feeling close to this and that was just a place of bricks and mortar, admittedly magical brick and mortar but it was still only a place.
Exiting Grimmauld place and walking out from its wards so they could apperate Draco took Harry's hand within his own. Both wore their backpacks over one shoulder and determined yet apprehensive looks on their faces. Harry took one last look at the Black family residence and decided that if he ever found what he was looking for then he might come back here and live. However for now it was not the place he needed to be. Looking up at it however he knew that one day he might be happy here.
The doom and gloom that surrounded it under the shadow of war was beginning to lift in front of his eyes. It was a place that had belonged to Sirius Black, a man whom he had loved and respected greatly. Everyone that he had ever cared about had passed through its front door. When the time came that would be the place for him to settle down but that time was not now.
He smiled at Ron and Hermione as they came and stood on the front porch to watch them leave. Ron looked a little put out, leaning against the door frame, arms folded over his chest and glaring at Malfoy with annoyance. At least there was no hatred in his gaze, which to Harry meant that given time he would come round to their friendship.
Hermione on the other hand gave them both a small wave and a large smile. Harry felt content that they knew that he was okay and at least Hermione was happy for them. He was glad that they had been there to give him that closure and now they would be able to tell the rest of the wizarding world that he was okay and just needed time to adjust. She understood and that meant more than Harry could have ever put into words. He knew that the two of them would be okay if not better without him. They had each other after all and now he had Draco. It wasn't the same as what they had and probably never would be but it was enough for him. It was friendship and companionship.
Even with their hands joined and a familiar electricity pulsing through them at their skin to skin contact he couldn't be sure what it was that he was truly feeling. Harry couldn't explain it but he liked it whatever it was but he didn't recognize it to put a name to it. He had never experienced this with anyone else before and it was strange to feel it in regards to Draco Malfoy.
Love had been such a great theme in his life and he had never felt the intense feeling towards another person. He wasn't talking about the love he had for his two best friends, he had had that for so many people, many of them having passed on into whatever came next Sirius, Remus, the whole Weasley family, his fellow Gryffindor's even Hedwig and Dobby had found a way into his heart.
However none of them had inspired the feeling to be with one person and one person only for the rest of his life, not even Ginny who he held a great fondness for. It was the love that Severus Snape had had for his mother, the love that Ron and Hermione had for each other that eluded Harry now. The kind of passion that made you want everything and be anything for that one person.
The moment before they apperated away Harry turned to look at Draco who smiled at him, "Ready," the blonde asked and Harry nodded with certainty. His eyes swept over the elegant pointed features of the handsome face, the soft blonde hair and stunning mercury eyes that he had grown so accustomed to waking up to and realised that what he felt for Draco in that moment was something akin to that intense and passionate emotion. He was in the right place and Draco was working his way into Harry's cold heart and he didn't know how to feel about that. Could this be love? Harry wasn't sure he could tell.
"Ready," Harry returned, "Together," Draco smiled at him and repeated his last sentiment. This next stage of their journey would be the hardest part for Draco. He had only been there a handful of times as a young child. His father had only been the once and never spoken of it again. He couldn't' be sure how often his mother had gone there but she would never talk about it with him or with anyone else. There hadn't even been a portrait of her in the family home when he had been growing up.
The last time Draco had gone to that place he had been eight years old, his mother had gone with him but she had refused to speak the entire time they were there. Going back seemed fitting and something he had to do for himself but taking Harry with him, this was a huge personal step, one that he was nervous about taking. However he had to trust that it was the right decision to make. He wanted to open Harry up to the world where he come from, to help him understand.
By taking Harry to that place meant something to Draco, meant that they were more than friends and that something else sparked between them. He knew that Harry might not comprehend the meaning fully straight away but he hoped that one day he would. Draco however wouldn't point it out to him, it was a realisation that Harry had to come to on his own. Their hands gripped tightly together the two of them gave one final nod of farewell to Ron and Hermione and with a pop they were gone.