47. Here Comes Goodbye (Rascal Flatts)
A/N: Post anime1, pre CoS.
He really didn't want to make a production of it, but in the end, it couldn't be avoided.
"Roy…" It was the you're-in-trouble voice, but with a personal anger, a puzzled concern, and just a hint of betrayal.
Roy shook his head. "Please don't start. It'll be much better for the both of us. Good-byes always make a mess of things."
"This isn't about good-byes and you know it," Riza snapped. "This is about you making a completely stupid decision."
A sigh. "I'm not the same as I was before, Riza—"
"Don't talk down to me! None of us are ever the same, Roy—you know that." Riza crossed her arms. "You just need to re-learn to get along in life."
"That's exactly what I'm trying to do!"
"By isolating yourself up by Drachma until you go crazy or get injured or—or die? You call that getting along with life?"
To this, Roy had nothing to say. He started to walk away, but Riza moved to block him. He wasn't sure just how far Riza would go to stop him, but considering he had only just gotten back into good enough physical condition to leave, Riza could probably take Roy on and win.
"I don't want to fight about this." It was the truth, at least.
"Too bad." Now Riza sighed. "Roy, you've done so much good around here. What is there to leave for?"
He had to at least try to make her understand. "I know I've helped, but I've hurt a lot more. And now I'm hurting. I can't do alchemy anymore, Riza. I'm of no use. Every time I try…" he choked off.
"Every time you try…" Riza sounded very concerned now.
"I see all those opportunities I had but didn't take. I see all the lives I've taken. I see those whose lives weren't taken by me personally, but as a result of my stupidity. It's eating at me more and more every day."
"So I should have left you to die, then?" She was almost daring him to answer in the affirmative.
Roy shrugged. "It's a moot point now. As much as I'd like to say yes, there's another part of me that wants to say no."
"So you're just going to let your depression beat you this way instead?"
Taking a deep breath, Roy replied, "Honestly, for the moment, yes. No second chances this time, Riza. Not for me." He braced himself for being yelled at.
What he got was a cold, dead stare. "Then go. Get out of here. Leave. Right now." Before I really try to stop you by force!
Roy could hear the edge in Riza's voice. He'd already hurt her enough—any pity would push Riza past the tipping point. He walked out, shutting the door behind him. It took less than ten seconds for the soft sobbing to begin. If he didn't leave now, he'd lose his resolve. With a shuddering breath, he walked away from what he was now sure had been his last chance at redemption.
Roy knew he had never deserved it less than now.
A/N: Well, this was originally going to be Roy dying in the line of duty as a cop, and the "no second chances" was going to have this tacked onto it: "But you've got another chance. Don't waste it being sad or vengeful. Just… live." Yup, those were going to be Roy's last words. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
-(sighs)- I think they're all gonna be short now, but it's something, right?