Chapter 5 - Immersion
They had not gone more than twenty feet beyond the Stargate when the sand moved about them and they were suddenly surrounded. Sam's instinct was to jump and pull out the zat, but Jolinar was in charge now, and did not even flinch.
"Who are you?" asked one of the tan-clad people.
"Jolinar of Malkshur," answered Jolinar easily. "I know who you are, Cordesh."
"You have a new host?" asked Cordesh suspiciously. "What is the password?"
Jolinar said a few words in Goa'uld that Sam did not understand, and all the weapons lowered.
"We were almost ready to think you lost to us," said Cordesh.
"And so I nearly was," said Jolinar gravely. "Rosha, I am grieved to say, did not survive."
One of the Tok'ra stepped forward, a younger man, and Sam was surprised to find that Jolinar's heart began to race.
"Come, we will grieve for lost ones in safety," he said, putting out a hand to guide Jolinar. "You are weary and wounded, I see."
"That is good counsel, Martouf," said Cordesh. "You may leave your position to bring Jolinar to the Council."
Martouf nodded to Cordesh, and then the rest of the Tok'ra stepped back. Sam didn't know what was happening, but as soon as the rings leapt from the sand, she understood. They re-materialized in crystalline tunnels, a much stranger design than that of a Goa'uld ship where rings were usually found.
But there was only a moment for Sam to take in her surroundings, for then Jolinar reached for Martouf and took him into an embrace. He responded in kind, and Sam felt sharp pangs of a grief that was not hers.
"I was not ready to lose you," murmured Martouf from above, where he held Jolinar gently.
~Who is this?~ asked Sam, but Jolinar didn't seem to hear.
"I was not ready to lose Rosha," Jolinar countered, and Sam was surprised at the deepness of emotion. She had pegged Jolinar for one who did not open up so easily.
"Have I not said that loss is but what we must expect as the consequence of the paths we choose to follow," came deeper tones, and Sam realized that Martouf's symbiote must be speaking. The dark sadness coming with that voice was unnerving in its difference.
"Lantash," murmured Jolinar, and as Sam felt a rush of emotion as if in response to another person entirely.
"But we have you safe again, and that must suffice for our joy," said Lantash then. He reached down to put a hand under Jolinar's chin, turning her face up to his, where another emotion began to cover up the sadness.
Jolinar's heartbeat and emotions began to flow in a way that Sam recognized all too well, and suddenly Martouf and Lantash's behavior was no longer confusing. It was even less so as Lantash planted a tender kiss on Jolinar's forehead, before stooping in preparation to share a much more passionate one.
~Whoa, whoa, wait!~ called Sam nervously from the back of her mind, hoping to break through Jolinar's haze of love and—lust? ~Hey!~
Thankfully, her calls were jarring enough, and before anything happened, Jolinar raised a finger to place on Lantash's lips. "Wait, my love," she said, just a bit breathless from expectation. "This host—I am not fully blended yet."
"Of course," said Lantash, pulling back to a less intimate distance. He dipped his head, and came up with the voice of Martouf. "I am sorry, we were imprudently forward."
"This is Samantha," said Jolinar. "She was not aware of our relationship—it is making her very uncomfortable at the moment." Her tone was apologetic, but inwardly, Sam could see that she found Sam's discomfort just a bit amusing.
Jolinar dipped her own head, and then granted Sam control. Unsure of what she was to do, Sam first involuntarily blushed, finding herself in the arms of a man who she did not really know, but who considered himself involved with her, or at least her symbiote.
"Ah, um," she started, "hello?" She felt out of place and unprepared—and her frustration at Jolinar was resurfacing. She couldn't have at least mentioned that she had a boyfriend? Or was it two?
"Greetings, Samantha," said Martouf, smiling gently. At least he appeared understanding of her, unlike Jolinar, who was observing with an imaginary half smirk. "I am Martouf, as you are probably aware now, and my symbiote is Lantash. I am sorry that we and Jolinar surprised you—Tok'ra change hosts over time, but we forget that the new host needs time to adjust to their new life. Fear not, we will not do anything without your permission in the future."
"Thank you," said Sam gratefully. "But—it's all right, I'm not going to be here long." She gave a weak smile, but Martouf didn't respond.
He looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"I'm only a temporary host—I didn't choose this," Sam tried to explain.
"But what is this? You have not chosen to be Tok'ra, yet you are?"
"It—well, it was an emergency, and Jolinar was in need, but I wasn't awake for her to ask..." Sam trailed off uncomfortably.
~Jolinar, help please?~ she begged.
Jolinar seemed to take pity, and took control again. "It is true, my love," she said.
"I do not understand this," said Martouf, brow deeply furrowed. "You took this Samantha without her permission?"
"As she said, she could not have granted it," said Jolinar. "My own host was moments from death, and she was unconscious and nearing death herself—I made a call of judgment to save us both."
"This is not what I would have expected," said Martouf frowning. "And Samantha, she agreed when she awoke?"
"No," said Jolinar slowly, a little guiltily. Inside, Sam was glad to feel her squirm a little; it was one comfort in the overwhelming situation.
Martouf frowned, then nodded to let Lantash take over. "Jolinar, you broke our highest law," he said sternly.
"My love, you would have let two lives die on a matter of principle?" asked Jolinar.
"Yes," said Lantash solidly. "Martouf is ready to grant that the situation can only be understood by one who experiences it, but I hold that law above my own life."
"I understand, and that is why it is temporary," said Jolinar. "I swear, I would that I never had to make such a choice again."
Lantash sighed. "If Samantha forgives you, so shall I, my love. But the Council will not see it so, I think."
"Then let Samantha make the final call," said Jolinar firmly. "I am in her debt looking at it from any way." Then, unexpectedly, Jolinar's knees buckled, and only Martouf and Lantash's embrace kept her from stumbling.
"Apologies, my love," said Lantash, suddenly becoming gentle and caring. "You are very weak still—let me get you to medical help."
Jolinar sighed, but let him support her as they began to go down the tunnel. She gave control back to Sam, but Sam didn't know what to say. For some time, Lantash's face was dark, strong emotion plainly beneath but not surfacing. Then he shook his head slightly, as if putting on another mask, one that pushed grief aside for the time being.
"May I speak to Samantha?" asked Lantash after a moment.
"I'm here," said Sam. "And—no one I know calls me Samantha." She flushed a little at the bluntness of the last bit. "I'm usually called Carter."
"Carter," said Lantash, musing. "Is that a title, or a rank?"
"Well, neither," said Sam, glad that he was keeping the conversation going. "It's my last name—family name?" she added, after Lantash still looked puzzled.
"Your planet gives two names to its children, then," said Lantash. "Martouf is fascinated, but I do not understand."
"Well, the last name is for business and for strangers," said Sam, a bit uncomfortably. "And normally family and close friends would call me Samantha, but I prefer Sam."
"Three names?" asked Lantash, eyebrows raised.
"No, Sam is just short for Samantha," said Sam. At his look, she gave a tiny smile. "Yeah, I guess it is weird. Jolinar reacted the same way when I wanted to call her Jol."
"Jol?" burst out Lantash, greatly surprised, but not disapproving.
"Sorry," said Sam, flushing even more.
"There is no need," said Lantash. "It is just that you are strange, Samantha, and unfamiliar. Carter."
"Yeah, well, all this is weird to me too," confessed Sam.
"I assume you are glad not to have to face it for a lifetime," said Lantash pointedly, looking her in the face. Sam didn't say anything, but the look on her face made Lantash follow up his statement. "You know, of course, that Jolinar's promises will be granted by the Council—especially given the situation of your blending."
"I'm—glad to know that," said Sam. Was she surprised or not at such a statement?
They fell silent, and though Sam could not distinguish between the corridors, eventually they turned into a large room. An olive-skinned man and a golden-haired woman, both in the tan uniforms of the Tok'ra, were arguing over a table that looked like it could have been at home in Sam's lab.
"Lantash," commented the woman, catching sight of him first. "What is this?"
"Larys, Anise, this is Jolinar returned to us," he answered. "She has come greatly weakened from her mission."
"Rosha was lost?" asked Larys, coming forward to help Sam to sit on the bench, his hands very gentle on her back and shoulder.
Lantash gave a short nod, his eyes pained.
"She will be mourned," said Anise, bowing her head.
"May I ask your name?" asked Larys, stooping to look Sam in the face.
"Carter," said Sam. "Sam Carter—but I go by Carter usually."
Larys put his hands on either side of her face, looking intently at her head and in her eyes. "Jolinar appears to have done well, I see no grave injuries," he said. "But you need much care—Anise, I am afraid that I will have to continue our conversation later."
"Of course," said Anise, nodding and departing.
Larys helped Sam out of the BDU jacket to examine her. He was very careful, letting his fingers run over every area that appeared damaged, but not pressing hard enough to cause agony. Still, Sam's muscles clenched as he ran over the various burns, and especially over the newer gunshot wounds. After a moment, he nodded to himself.
"Here, you should lie down," said Larys, indicating a soft pillow on the bench that Sam sat on.
Sam lay back gently, breathing out with relief to be at ease. Lantash sat by her feet, resting a hand on her leg. It was a bit uncomfortable, but Sam didn't want to offend him by pointing this out.
Larys came back with three things in his hand. "Here, drink this, it will give you and Jolinar strength," he said, handing her a small vial. She sat up a little to drink it, then lay back down. "And this, just for surety," commented Larys as he gave her an injection. Then he held up the final object, which Sam recognized as the healing device that Kendra had once used. "I won't be able to heal you completely, of course," he said. "You must tell Jolinar that she should take rest for a couple days at least, however much she does not wish to."
"Yeah, I don't think she'll argue," said Sam, trying to relax as he held the device over her chest. It began to glow, and then she felt the energy flow through her. It was like Jolinar's inward healing, only more distinct and faster. She breathed out, feeling the pain slowly dissipate, and closed her eyes.
*I had forgotten how good this feels compared to what I have had to do,* said Jolinar, suddenly breaking her silence.
~Why, how long since your last mission ended?~ asked Sam curiously.
*Nine and a half months,* said Jolinar with an inward sigh.
~What?~ exclaimed Sam. ~You haven't seen your friends, your boyfriend, in almost a year?~
*The mission was important,* said Jolinar, but she didn't try to hide that it had been hard on her. *And Lantash and Martouf are my mate.*
~Oh,~ said Sam, a little surprised. ~So you're married, and you're gone for that long?~
*We do not live for our own pleasure,* said Jolinar. Then she added: *But yes, I have been impatient and anxious to return to him.*
~Sorry I messed that up,~ said Sam.
*The fault did not rest on your shoulders,* said Jolinar.
Sam had been thinking much the same thing, but she appreciated that Jolinar was the one to say it. ~He's nice; I'm sure you're very happy,~ she said, to mollify the mood a bit.
Jolinar said nothing, but the sudden flash of images that poured into Sam's mind were so passionate and—well, intimate—that she would have blushed furiously.
~Okay, okay, I don't need to know all that,~ she said hurriedly, trying not to look, which was difficult when the memories were being shared directly.
Jolinar pulled back a little.
~I'm very glad you haven't blended fully if that's what you think about,~ commented Sam earnestly.
Jolinar chuckled. The healing device continued to spread comfort throughout their body, prompting warmer feelings of relief and gratitude.
~Hey,~ wondered Sam, ~before, you were desperate to get back here. Did you miss it so much?~
*No,* said Jolinar. *Or rather, that did not prompt my urgency. I have tidings that must be heard, and will be, when I report to the Council. But my time at your SGC let me think on everything, and it is not as life or death as I originally thought.*
~Why does it have to be secret?~ asked Sam. ~I mean, it's not like--~
*Samantha, it is of grave importance that this news come out at the Council first. Let it rest.*
"Well," spoke Larys finally, "I have done all I can." Sam opened her eyes, and Larys helped her to sit up. "I do not know what Jolinar has told you, but our healing devices can only function if we know what we are healing. I have healed your external injuries, and the tissue wounds that were from some weapon that I am unfamiliar with—but we will have to do a scan to look for internal injuries."
Jolinar took control for a moment. "They are but few, Larys, there will be no need for extra interference."
"Ah, my independent Jolinar," said Larys, smiling. "Considering your state, I will let you have your way here, as reward for returning safely to us."
"I will report to the Council, then I will rest as much as you wish," said Jolinar, standing up.
Lantash rose as well, ready to accompany her.
"Lantash, my love," said Jolinar. "I wish to let Samantha become accustomed to us gradually, which may be difficult if you follow me around like a lost puppy." Her lighter tone surprised Sam.
Lantash nodded, but a gleam in his eye belied his humble acquiescence. "Of course. I shall see you at the Council."
~You didn't need to do that, I didn't mind him that much,~ said Sam as Jolinar led her out the corridor.
*My love is caring and protective, but I must rebuke him so that he does not become clingy,* explained Jolinar, but fondly.
~What about Martouf? Is he the same?~ asked Sam curiously.
*No, not exactly,* said Jolinar as if with a frown. *They are as one to me, but yes, it is not always the same. Martouf is more—sensitive to the wishes of others. He was also once unblended, so he understands your concept of privacy. Lantash is more stubborn, and does not willingly back off from what he desires.*
~Ah,~ said Sam, feeling enlightened and even more confused.
Jolinar sighed. Then she added, *I need to bathe.*
Sam was surprised at this, and even more so at her own intrigue. Well, things were going well so far, and Jolinar was telling the truth after all. Strangely, that should have surprised Sam from the first moment they asked about the host, but it had not. She hadn't even noticed—how long had she believed it anyway? Was she growing soft? Who knew what moment finalized her opinion, an opinion that had gone through ups and downs, but steadily rising in trust of the symbiote since she had allowed Sam to speak in the infirmary.
Oh, what did it matter, what or when or how her mind had changed? Jolinar was right—they urgently needed a bath.
ooooooo
"Sir?"
Hammond looked up from his desk to where Jack O'Neill stood fidgeting. "Yes, Colonel, I called you. Come in and take a seat."
"I'd rather stand, sir," said Jack, his mouth twisting a little.
"It doesn't matter to me," said Hammond. Resting his elbows on his desk, he leaned forward. "I know it's only been a day, but I've sent referrals for prospective new team members to your office."
"I have an office?" Jack stalled.
Hammond gave him a look, and Jack sighed. "Before you see them, we need to discuss exactly what you're choosing."
"A replacement for Carter—I know, it's going to be a hell of a choice," said Jack.
"No, Jack, not a replacement," said Hammond.
Jack looked up. "Oh? We calling it something different now?"
"I've reported to my superiors on what happened yesterday," said Hammond. "And the things they've been saying have given me serious thought. You know why Carter joined you on the first mission, right?"
"She deserved it, after creating the computer dialing system," said Jack.
"No, Jack." Hammond sighed. "Jack, Carter was a dream come true for a man in my position. She knew the Stargate, knew a hell of a lot more, and was a fine military officer as well. I know it was just supposed to be recon, but if anything went wrong, I wanted you to have someone with a mind that could work with whatever you might have."
"It was a good choice, sir," said Jack, flicking darkly at a few pencil shavings on Hammond's desk.
"So I thought," said Hammond. "But now I'm being criticized for letting such a valuable resource waste her time in field work instead of research and development."
"We wouldn't have survived this long without Carter," Jack protested.
"I know that," said Hammond. "But that's not my point. I didn't call you here to explain the political issues I'm having to deal with, I'm here to remind you that you're not going to find another Carter. She was a scientist and a soldier, and they don't come more than once in a million. You're going to have to think about that when you review the files."
"I don't think that's going to help," said Jack.
"I'd advise you to choose a scientist, given your past record," said Hammond. "But the choice will be yours of course—and I'm not pretending it's going to be easy."
"With all due respect, sir, it's impossible," said Jack. "I need a soldier."
"You have Teal'c, Jack," said Hammond. "SG-1 is not a military team, 50 is a perfectly adequate percentage."
"No, it's not," pushed Jack. "Teal'c isn't US military—he doesn't fight with our tactics, and I can't really give him commands. And Daniel's hopeless. I need someone I can count on in a fight to do what I say."
"Even more you need someone who can save you from the alien devices that you and Dr. Jackson have a habit of interfering with," said Hammond with a pointed look.
Jack threw up his hands. "Right! Because science is going to do us so much good when we can't get away from the Jaffa or dangerous natives!"
"Jack," said Hammond.
"I'll think about it, okay?" said Jack. "But I don't see why we can't have five people on the team," he added, muttering.
Hammond did not respond, and Jack sighed and rose to leave.
"Good luck, Jack," said Hammond.
Jack gave him a withering glance, covering up the pain that was carving new wrinkles beneath his eyes.
ooooooo
The bath had been a mixture of pleasure and discomfort, communally located and apparently well-trafficked, but warm and full of soothing mineral salts. Just having clean hair made everything deserving of a second chance. The new clothing afterward had been a little less pleasure and a little more awkwardness, a long well-fitted soft leather robe that wrapped kimono style, but without sleeves or a proper military neckline. Looking in the mirror, Sam saw Jolinar hold herself up tall and proud, and knew she had never looked better—but also never less military.
However, none of these were like the discomfort of a Tok'ra briefing. She was finally hearing what Jolinar had been doing, and it shed no light on anything. Meaningless shifts in the power structure of the minor Goa'ulds under Apophis, tactics that were being trained to his Jaffa, plans for how he was to wipe out other systems lords—it didn't mean anything to Sam.
It was curious to note the disapproval as Jolinar related what had happened with Sam, and Jolinar even brought Sam forward to testify that there was no foul intent. Then, before they had even seemed to digest that strange story:
"Why did you leave your post after two months?" came a question from Garshaw, who was leading the near-interrogation.
Sam perked up, finally hearing a question that she was curious about
Jolinar paused. "You are aware of Apophis' bold tactics in taking on other System Lords, and even going up against the newly discovered Tauri, but you have not guessed one portion of his dark mind. While I was in his court, I noticed that his queen Amonet departed without pomp, and did not return."
Sam was very intrigued.
"I searched harder than I ever had before, and discovered that Apophis has created a harcesis." The words fell like strikes upon a gong, and after a moment of silence, the Council chamber erupted.
"What is this villainy!" demanded Per'sus.
"Surely you were mistaken," said Garshaw.
"Even he would not dare such an undertaking," added Cordesh.
~What is a harcesis?~ asked Sam curiously.
"You think there is another solution?" asked Jolinar. "You would be blind fools to think so. I left immediately to bring you the news, but my sudden absence was noticed. The ashrak trailed me for nearly six months before I joined with Samantha Carter. The harcesis will be born soon."
"Why were we not informed the moment you stepped through the gate?" demanded Garshaw.
"Apophis has kept this secret close to him; operatives must be sent before anything is learned, and as that takes time, a few hours of peace was worth it," said Jolinar boldly.
The Council members all looked to each other, assessing what they had just heard without words, and perhaps even with their silent symbiotes and hosts.
Finally, Garshaw looked back. "Thank you, Jolinar, this is most useful. We must decide our course of action soon, for there are complications that need to be discussed. However, since you have given us all you know, you may take your rest until you are fit for another mission."
"I will require a new host in the future," said Jolinar.
"A new host?" asked Cordesh, eyes wide.
"I have sworn to this one that she shall be released, as she wishes," said Jolinar firmly.
"Jolinar of Malkshur, do you realize the gravity of this request?" asked Garshaw.
"I do," said Jolinar.
~What gravity, exactly?~ asked Sam, confused.
*I shall explain later,* said Jolinar shortly.
"That is a subject for a later date," said Garshaw. "You may be dismissed."
"There is one last thing I learned in Apophis' court," said Jolinar languidly, but designedly so.
"Oh?" asked Garshaw, who was already turning to consult with the Council.
"Merely that Cordesh has been in contact with Apophis," said Jolinar.
"What!" cried Cordesh, standing up and slamming his hands on the desk. "This is slander!"
"I heard his name often," said Jolinar darkly, staring down the Council member she had accused. "And in tones too distinct to be mistaken."
"Cordesh?" asked Garshaw, still stunned.
"It was implied that he had been communicating by means of a device," added Jolinar. "At least restrain him until his quarters are searched, and I guarantee, you will find it."
"Such a thing has never happened among the Tok'ra," said Garshaw darkly. "Cordesh, have you no defense?"
Cordesh looked grave, but did not deny anything.
Jolinar smirked, then turned to leave.
~Whoa, what did you just do?~ asked Sam, overwhelmed by what had just happened.
*I stirred things around,* said Jolinar. *There will be no peace for some time among the Tok'ra.*
~You do this often, don't you?~ asked Sam pointedly.
*Someone needs to take on the reckless missions, and be prepared to address the consequences* said Jolinar. *But come, we should retire so that I can answer those questions you so rudely interrupted me with.*
~You never told me about the telepathy etiquette,~ said Sam defensively.
*You have much to learn,* said Jolinar with a long sigh.