Yes, I'm sending them home, but I still promise our favorite characters (including a few who haven't been mentioned yet!) will show back up.
*************************
Jessie had been home for a month. At first, the routine was comforting, soothing. Still, her frazzled nerves kept her awake each night, the small noises she used to find comforting setting her on edge, expecting choppers or snipers or both to come creeping out of the shadows.
Oh, she stayed busy enough. There were fundraisers to plan and teas to attend. Her friends threw her party after party. But, Jessie felt out of place. They couldn't understand, and she never tried to explain it to them. They could never understand how it felt to be elbow-deep in someone's guts, willing them to live. Or have a crazy Korean woman hold a shank to your neck. Or face down the barrel of a Chinese rifle.
Not to mention fall in love with two men, have one marry someone else and the other convince himself he didn't need anyone, determined to suffer alone in the world he had created for himself.
Her family sensed a change. But, she never told them. She didn't want to burden them with the nightmares that woke her up most nights, a scream in her throat.
Johnny knew. He had seen it, and he understood. After Jessie had been home for a week, he coaxed the whole story out of her. She spent a whole, tiresome afternoon telling him about Radar leaving and Charles and what happened on the side of the road.
She left out what happened the night before she left. After all, Johnny was still her brother.
One night at dinner, Jessie's father was discussing his plans to go to Washington D.C. to help the oil interests. Andrea and her brood were there, so Jessie had a hard time keeping up with the conversation between glasses of spilt milk and wiping food off dirty faces.
"Jessamyn, did you hear what I asked you?"
"Oh, um, no Dad, I'm sorry." Jessie swiped at the gravy stain on her nephew's shirt as he giggled.
"Johnny mentioned that you might like a change of scenery."
Jessie froze. "He did?"
"Yes. He thought you might to go to D.C. with me. I'll be gone for a few weeks, and we might even go up the east coast a bit, take in some sights."
Jessie relaxed. She didn't really think Johnny would tell her father about her nightmares and worries. "Sure, Dad. Sounds like fun."
The rest of the evening was full of packing. Mattie helped Jessie take in some of her dresses that were too big. Much to Mattie's dismay, Jessie had dropped some weight while overseas. She was constantly trying to get Jessie to eat, always bringing her small plates of food throughout the day. After being accustomed to eating the swill in Korea, Jessie had a hard time adjusting to eating the rich foods Mattie placed in front of her.
But, she had to admit, it was nice to get out of town. She had been to the capital many times in her life, but never as an adult. She even found the parties and luncheons a welcome diversion. No one knew she had gone to Korea, so all the prying questions were absent. Jessie found herself enjoying discussing the latest fashions and such, not worried about dancing around questions about war.
One evening, her father knocked on her door and entered her room. He watched her add pins to her hair, trying to get it to stay in place. When she turned around, smiling, she saw he had tears in his eyes.
"Dad, what's wrong?" she asked, smile faltering. Her father never cried.
He reached for a handkerchief. "I was just thinking how much you look like your mother. Especially in that dress."
Jessie looked down. It was something she had bought in town, a white, shimmering gown with a high waist and no sleeves. The nights were warm in D.C., so she didn't need a cover over her bare shoulders.
"Honey, are you happy?"
Jessie's head snapped up, and she stared. "Um . . .sure, Dad. What makes you ask?"
He cleared his throat. "You seem . . .uh-preoccupied since you've gotten home."
Jessie bit the inside of her lip. Thoughts of Charles kept creeping up on her. She wondered what he was doing and if he ever thought of her. She wondered if he was safe, knowing if he was still in Korea, he really wasn't. Almost religiously, she poured over the newspaper each day, finding it ironic that she was desperate for news of a place she had longed to leave. She recognized the names of places of battles and could almost picture the sea of wounded drifting through the camp, shuttering at the thought.
Not to mention Radar. Now, the ache was more subdued. After all, he had chosen his path and was living his life.
Now, it was up to her to choose her own path.
"Dad, I'm fine. Just need a little . . . adjustment time, that's all."
He hugged her. "Kitten, I never told you I'm proud of you."
Jessie felt tears stinging her eyes at the old endearment he used. "You are?"
She could feel him nod. "I know I didn't tell you often enough, especially after you joined that damn Army, but I really was proud."
Jessie couldn't believe her father was telling her this. "Th-thank you, Daddy."
Her father pulled back, suddenly all business again. He patted her check. "I have a surprise for you tonight."
"A surprise?" She looked behind his back, wondering what it was.
He laughed. "No, not that kind of surprise. Our senator is good friends with the senator for Massachusetts. They've invited us to attend a ball tonight in his honor, a fundraiser of sorts. His jet us taking us. I thought you might want to spend a few days in Boston."
Jessie tried to avoid making a face. Ugh, Boston! "Uh . . . that sounds fun, Dad."
The flight was not long on the sleek jet, and Jessie soon found herself arm-in-arm with her father, waiting to be introduced. It was the usual affair. All the women had on their best jewelry and dresses, and the men were wearing tails and topcoats. The event was at a local ballroom, and she was impressed with the vaulted ceilings and curved banisters. She was also glad she had bought a new dress.
"Master David H. Callahan of Texas and his daughter, Miss Jessamyn Rose," the gentleman who introduced each person said loudly. There was a smattering of applause. Before she and her father could get very far, a figure pushed through the crowd and bowled right into Jessie.
"Oh, Jessamyn! I c-c-can't believe it's r-really you!"
Jessie's father stepped back in alarm. "What on earth . . ."
Jessie was trying to figure out what to do with the crying woman hugging the breath out of her.
"What has gotten into you, child?" A petite older matron with blue, piercing eyes stepped from the amused crowd.
Jessie held the woman who was still hugging her at arm's length. She had the same blue eyes as her mother – and her brother. "Why, Honoria Winchester!"
Honoria's eyes, more playful than her brother's, danced merrily. "W-why, I d-d-didn't expect you to know w-who I was." She turned to her mother, who was standing with her arms crossed in front of her sternly. "Mother, this is J-jessamyn Callahan. She was in the s-same unit as Charles."
Jessie remembered her manners and managed a small curtsy to the elegant woman. "Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Winchester."
"Really. What's all the fuss about?" A tall gentleman with steely eyes made his way through the crowd. "Honoria, what in the world has gotten into you?"
Honoria glanced at Jessie over her father's shoulder and rolled her eyes. Jessie smiled, immediately liking Charles's little sister. More introductions were made.
"I apologize for my daughter, Miss Callahan. She can be overly dramatic at times."
"Don't worry about it, sir." Jessie tried not to laugh as Honoria made faces at her behind her father's back.
When the crowd backed away, Honoria found her chance. "My d-dear, I guess I sh-shouldn't have surprised you like th-that."
Jessie laughed. "Oh, don't worry about it. And to think, I actually thought tonight would be boring!"
Honoria's blue eyes filled with tears. "I can't b-believe you s-saved his life! Without you, h-he'd be . . ." Her blonde hair fell into her eyes as she sniffed, and she tossed it aside.
Jessie paled, not expecting this turn in conversation. "You know?"
Honoria took Jessie's hand. "S-sure I know. Charles t-tells me everything." She lowered her voice. "B-b-but, Mother and Father d-don't . He didn't w-w-want to worry them."
Jessie nodded, understanding. From what she knew, she wondered if they'd even care.
Honoria smiled, linking Jessie's arm through hers. "It's b-been so long s-s-since I've seen my b-b-brother. L-letters just aren't t-t-the same. Tell me, how is he?"
"You want the truth or you want me to sugarcoat it?"
Honoria honestly thought for a moment. "The truth."
"Well, last I saw him, he was tired, stressed, not eating or sleeping well and just plain exhausted."
"And l-l-lonely."
"Lonely? Well, I suppose we all were, missing home and all."
Honoria shook her head, blonde curls tumbling. "That's not what I m-meant. He m-m-misses you."
Jessie felt her palms begin to sweat. "Funny, I wouldn't know. We haven't communicated at all since I've been at home."
"W-well, have you w-w-written?"
Jessie made a face. "No. I started, but what do I say?" Her eyes widened. "Wait a minute! How much exactly do you know?"
Honoria smiled and patted Jessie on the shoulder. "D-dear, I can r-r-read between the lines." She laughed aloud as Jessie blushed. "D-don't worry. I won't tell!"
Jessie's father interrupted, a young man standing directly behind him. "Jessamyn, I want you to meet the senator's son, Ethan. Ethan, this is my youngest daughter."
Jessie resisted the urge to grit her teeth in frustration. Still trying to set her up, is he? She held out her hand, which Ethan raised to his lips. Jessie wanted to stamp her feet in annoyance. It reminded her of Charles.
"Pleasure. What a lovely name."
Jessie tried to smile. "It was my grandmother's. Please, call me Jessie."
Honoria grabbed Jessie's arm. "Excuse us Ethan, b-but I think it's about t-t-time for dinner. Jessie m-m-must be starved after her t-t-trip from D.C. Aren't you, Jessie?" Expertly, she dragged her away from Ethan.
"I know a set-up when I see it," she whispered.
Grateful, Jessie allowed herself to be drug away. "Thanks. My father has tried to find suitable bachelors for me all my life, it seems."
Honoria laughed, settling them in a corner. "Oh, I understand! P-p-plus, I dated Ethan for a while, and he's a b-b-big bore! Now, tell m-m-me about yourself."
********************************
"You m-m-mean, he actually b-believed that Hotlips h-had written B.J.'s wife? Oh, they g-g-got him g-good!" Honoria laughed merrily.
Jessie sipped the tea that had been brought to them by the butler. "They were constantly playing tricks on each other. Eased the boredom." And the insanity.
It was Jessie's last day in Boston. Most of it, she had spent with Honoria. After Jessie explained to her how she abhorred the city, Charles's sister declared she hadn't seen enough of it. They had toured the city, attending museums and historical points of interest. Honoria took her to Harvard, and Jessie marveled at the quiet reserve of the entire campus. They even danced the Lindy and the foxtrot at a night spot, much to the chagrin of their escort, the elderly butler. But, with the right compliments, he stoically agreed not to tell, especially after the three of them attended a Red Sox game, seeing who could cheer the loudest.
After tea, Jessie and Honoria visited the garden behind their house. It was quiet and peaceful, and Jessie could picture spending long hours in the solitude of the beautiful flowers.
"So, J-Jessie, what do you think of our f-f-fair city now?" They settled on a concrete bench near a fountain.
Jessie turned so she could see the stream lightly hit the water, rippling the surface. "OK, so I admit, I was young and stubborn. I guess I hated it because I didn't want to be here."
She patted Jessie on the knee. "When Charles g-g-gets home, you'll h-have to come and visit. I'm s-s-sure he would l-love to have you."
"I'm not so sure about that," Jessie muttered, then her eyes widened.
Honoria laughed so loud, a nearby gardener stopped what he was doing and turned towards the pair.
Jessie turned beet red, but remained silent. Since the night at the party, Honoria had not mentioned Jessie and Charles again. Jessie was embarrassed to think she was the one who brought it up.
Honoria wiped her eyes. "I can't help s-s-sense that you d-don't seem thrilled at the p-prospect. Is my brother that t-t-terrible of a l-l-lover?"
Jessie blushed even more. I can't believe I'm having this conversation with Charles's sister!
"Oh, no, it's not that!" Not even close! "It's just that I think that any further . . . commitment was not what he was looking for." Jessie shrugged, hoping she seemed non-chalant, although her heart was pounding.
"You know, Ch-charles has never been g-g-good at discussing his f-f-feelings. He was always a v-v-very serious child and an even m-m-more serious adult."
Damn skippy. Jessie only nodded in agreement.
"But, j-judging from his l-l-letters, he seems to h-have opened up more to you th-th-than anyone else I've ever s-seen."
Jessie looked at her hands, her blush finally fading. "Well, I guess what's done is done. I like your parents and all, but I really don't think they think I'm good enough for their son." And he doesn't think so, either.
Honoria rose from the bench. "J-jessie, there isn't a w-woman in this w-world who is good enough for Charles Emerson Winchester the Third." She gave a little wave to the gardener, who blushed and returned to his clipping.
Jessie looked at Honoria, surprised. She motioned towards the bashful gardener. "Have you and he . . ."
Honoria winked at her. "Why do you think I have so much fun? N-no one is g-g-good enough for me, either!"
******************************
Charles couldn't believe Jessie had been to Boston! And met his parents! And spent several days with his sister! For starters, she always claimed she abhorred the city, apparently reminded of her debutante days.
Secondly - and most importantly - he wanted to be in Boston!
Honoria filled page after page with things the two of them did and said, constantly saying how lovely Jessie was. She claimed she even charmed their father, but how Honoria could tell, he didn't know. The man invented stoicism.
By the time Charles finished re-reading the letter, he was jealous. Of his sister, of all people! So often, he had thought about spending time with Jessie in the city he loved, showing her the places that made Boston the grand city it was. Now, she gets to see it without him, and according to his sister, had a marvelous time!
Honoria even mentioned that a couple of suitors had come to call on Jessie, including his cousin Alfred, whom he thoroughly despised. He took both of the women to the opera and to one of the finest restaurants in town, the oaf! Charles wished he could reach across the continents and strangle the man! Honoria gleefully mentioned that Jessie was polite, but not interested.
Probably still in love with O'Reilly.
Disgusted with himself, Charles tossed the letter aside and flopped back into his cot, earning curious looks from his bunkmates. He tried to calm down, not wanting to answer a myriad of questions. Instead, he rolled over, feigning sleep. Sleep which hadn't come so easy. Between the nightmares and torrid dreams of Jessie, he hadn't slept much at all. Either he'd wake up screaming or so full of desire, it made sleeping nearly impossible. It was certainly not restful.
Why, oh why didn't I tell her good-bye? I could have told her . . . I love her.
There. I admitted it.
And why shouldn't I? She's brave and beautiful and smart and everything I've ever wanted. Charles sighed. Yeah, but she wants to get away from her lifestyle. My lifestyle. She was going to marry a farmer for cripe's sake!
"Charles, if you don't knock it off, I'm going to come over there and strangle you with your own boot laces." B.J. tossed a dirty sock at Charles, who swiped angrily at it, knocking it into the corner.
"Yeah, why don't you just write her and get it over with?"
Charles sat up. "Gentlemen, I think my life is none of your affair."
B.J. rolled his eyes. "C'mon Hawk. Let's go to the O Club. Ol' lovestruck Charles here is barely tolerable."
Hawkeye grinned as he clambered off his bunk. "Go easy on the man. It's not often you have an amazing girl walk into your life, then adamantly push her out of it!"
Charles flung a whole stack of paper at the laughing pair as they exited the tent, littering the already-littered floor.
Fine! They didn't think he'd do it? He'd show them!
Resolutely, Charles sat at his desk, picking up a sheet of paper from the floor.
Two hours later, he was finished. It took him that long to write one stupid page! After sealing it and addressing it, he sat it in front of him, thinking. But, he didn't put it in the pile of letters to give to Klinger for the out-going mail. Disgustedly, he stuck it in an open book and slammed it shut.
Who am I kidding, anyway?
The loudspeaker rudely announced the arrival of more wounded, and he rubbed his face wearily, walking out the door.
***********************************
Jessie had to admit, she did feel more relaxed once they returned from Boston. And, the fanfare from her return from Korea had died down, so she wasn't constantly bombarded with questions, which so often led to nightmares later that night.
Mattie met her and her father at the door. "Child, I'm so glad you're back! It's been like Grand Central Station 'round here."
Jessie took one of her suitcases from Arthur, who tried to protest. Jessie waved him off with a smile. "What do you mean, Mattie?"
Mattie put her hands on her amble hips. "You kept getting call after call from Korea."
Jessie's eyes widened. Could something bad have happened? "Did they leave a message?"
Mattie shook her head. "It was from some man named Klinger with as Yankee an accent as I've ever heard. He said to tell you 'do not read the letter from Charles, or he will barbeque his nose in molasses.'" Mattie cocked her head at Jessie. "Who exactly are these people?"
"It's a long story, but when you stick all sorts of people in a small place for that length of time, strange things happen."
Mattie rustled around in the pocket of her apron and came up with a letter. Jessie took it gingerly from the woman. Oh yeah, air mail. Charles always paid extra to send his correspondence quickly. Mattie watched Jessie closely as she looked at the familiar scrawl on the envelope. She resisted the strange urge to touch the writing.
"Since you're not supposed to read it, I don't see that you'll be needing it." She tried to get the letter back, but Jessie quickly put it in her bag. Mattie's eyes narrowed as she watched Jessie practically run up the stairs.
Jessie threw her bags onto the bed. She reached into the pocket of her suitcase and pulled out the letter, wanting to immediately rip into it. She held it up to the light, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Should I read it? It could be good news.
But, if Charles changed his mind, it could be something he regrets.
OK, maybe it's bad news.
Jessie sat down at her vanity and poked the letter into the crevice between the mirror and the frame. She propped her chin on her hand and wondered what to do.
******************************
"Klinger, you bumbling idiot, did you get her?"
Klinger wearily rolled his eyes. "Major, I tried to get her for two whole days! She wasn't there!"
Charles paced the floor behind Klinger's desk. "Well, try again. Maybe she's returned!"
Klinger shrugged. "I can't! We're in a communication black-out, and there's no phone calls coming in or out for the next 48 hours. Something to do with the latest peace talks. I did leave a message with the housekeeper, exactly what you told me to say."
Charles just growled in frustration. He had to stop her from reading that letter! And making a total fool of himself!
Klinger turned to face Charles. "Look, Major, I'm sorry. You told me to get the letters off your desk, and I did. I saw the one in the book and since it was all addressed and everything, I thought you wanted to send it, too."
Charles resisted the urge to strangle the clerk and ground his teeth in frustration.
"Look on the bright side. Maybe it will get lost in the mail."
"Yes. And maybe you'll make a wish and return to the garbage dump of a city where you belong!"
He almost knocked the door of the hinges as he slammed out.
************************************
Jessie heard it on the radio. The war was over! Everyone was coming home! She was sitting in her room by herself and wanted to celebrate, but found she didn't have anyone to celebrate with. No one would understand her elation. Col. Potter could retire, and B.J. could return to his wife and daughter and Hawkeye could return to Crab Apple Cove and Charles . . .
She wasn't sure about Charles. Instead, she pulled his unopened letter out from her pillow – hidden away from Mattie's prying fingers – and stared at it.
"Miss Jessie! You have a phone call!"
Jessie looked up from where she and her nephews had been playing with a litter of puppies in the backyard. She put her hand over her eyes to shield them from the bright sunshine. Arthur beckoned to her from the backdoor.
With strict instructions to the boys not to pull tails or ears, she ran into the house to the phone in the study.
"Hello?"
"J-Jessie, d-d-dear, how are you?"
"I'm wonderful. Isn't it great news?"
Jessie could almost feel the youngest Winchester's excitement. "Yes, isn't it g-g-grand? We've just got word that Charles w-w-will b-be home the d-d-day after tomorrow!"
Jessie couldn't help but smile. Boy, I bet he's thrilled!
"Actually, h-he'll be h-home in about f-four days, but h-he'll be back in the s-states in two. Th-that's what I was c-calling about."
"What do you mean?"
"I w-w-wondered if you r-read the letter."
Jessie almost stopped breathing. "How do you know?"
Honoria laughed merrily. "D-dear, I t-t-told you Charles t-t-tells me everything!"
"Well, no, I didn't read it. Klinger told me it wasn't even supposed to be mailed."
Honoria tsked into the phone. "I'm disappointed in you! S-since when d-do you do what someone t-t-tells you to?"
Jessie laughed nervously. "Hold over from the Army, I suppose. Charles did outrank me, you know."
Honoria got quiet. "J-Jessie, w-we can't g-g-get to San Francisco to m-m-meet Charles when he c-c-comes in. Mother and Father have a p-prior engagement, and they w-would not allow me to travel across the c-country, even with an escort. Just r-read the d-d-damn letter!"
The line went dead. Jessie looked at the receiver incredulously and hung it up. She fished in her pocket for the much-studied envelope. A shout from outside distracted her, and she tucked it away, going outside to see what the boys had gotten into now.
*****************************
Later that evening, Jessie sat on her bed, finally alone. Andrea and her husband had returned from their trip earlier that evening, and Jessie was glad to turn the boisterous twosome over to their parents.
Since she'd been home and had time to think, she'd realized a few things about herself. First, while she loved Radar, it was almost a type of adoration that made you jump headfirst without thinking. True, she still believed with her entire being that she would have been content in Iowa, but it was not meant to be.
Second, what happened between her and Charles was not the same. But, what was it? Jessie tried to be realistic and tell herself that it was only physical. They were just drawn to each other by mutual fear and longing. But, that didn't explain why she constantly seemed to think about him, why even the silliest action or word reminded her of him.
She turned the letter over in her hands, wondering if it held the answer.
Swallowing her fears, she tore into it and pulled out one lone sheet of paper.
My dearest Jessamyn,
I should have written this earlier. Much earlier. Probably not written, but told you before you went home. It would have saved me so much heartache and many sleepless nights. I'm a stubborn man, and not easy to get along with, but Jessamyn, I can't stop thinking about you. You've been haunting me ever since I laid eyes on you, and yet, I'm just now realizing these emotions for what they are. I've never felt this way about any woman ever, not Martene and not anyone before.
I love you.
I need you, almost desperately. I know it sounds trite, but I don't feel complete. I can't sleep at night without wishing you were here. I see something during the day that makes me smile, and I want to tell you about it. I have difficulty with a patient, and I want you to be there.
I'm not giving up my life, Jessamyn, but I want you to share it with me.
You asked me if I could make a decision without my family's approval. I'm making one now. Please, don't toss aside what we have just because of ungrounded fear. You're braver than that. I know you are. I've seen it.
One day, this horrendous war will be over. Please, wait for me.
-Charles
Jessie re-read the letter three times before letting it flutter to her lap.
She stood and began piling things into her suitcase.
"Arthur! Wake up! You've got to take me to the airport!"