Chapter 7 - Collation
Jolinar led Sam down yet another corridor.
~What's up with your architecture?~ asked Sam. ~Do you try to make it so strangers get lost?~
*Wait, please, just a couple minutes, before you start off on your questions,* Jolinar nearly begged.
Finally, they reached an open chamber that was significant for Jolinar, though it looked identical to Sam. Knocking on the side of the wall, Jolinar did not enter.
Inside was an old woman, white haired and wrinkled, with frail looking face and limbs. "Come in, dear one," came her voice, and it was normal human voice.
"Saroosh," said Jolinar, nodding. "You do not look so well today."
Saroosh walked forward with trembling steps, but with an attitude that belied her weakness. "I heard the same said of you just yesterday, child," she said, with eyebrow raised.
Jolinar stiffened a little. "I am no child, Saroosh."
"So you keep telling me," said Saroosh amusedly, patting a seat for Jolinar while she took one of her own. "But you lose your composure over so small a matter."
~I like her,~ Sam told Jolinar.
*This was a bad idea,* thought back Jolinar. Out loud, she said, taking the seat: "I have come to speak to Selmak, in fact, though you may also serve some purpose."
"What, no friendly visit?" asked Saroosh.
"No," said Jolinar, but regretfully. "You have heard of the conditions of my return?"
"That you took a host by necessity, yes," said Saroosh, with just a hint of disapproval.
"She wishes to speak to you—she is more curious about the Tok'ra than I can handle," said Jolinar.
"Oh, by all means," said Saroosh, smiling. "I would be most pleased, and so would Selmak."
Jolinar bowed her head and gave Sam control. Glad to have the power back, Sam looked up and smiled at Saroosh. "Hi," she said, not nearly uncomfortable after witnessing how Saroosh interacted. "My name is Samantha Carter."
"It is a pleasure," said Saroosh, offering her hand, small and wrinkled as it was. "I am Saroosh, host to Selmak. Has Jolinar told you that we are the oldest and wisest among the Tok'ra?"
"Uh, yes, she did," said Sam, smiling unsurely and gently taking the proffered hand.
Saroosh smiled wider. "Oh yes, I thought she might have—she is such a fiery one, our Jolinar, and does not hold reverence for anyone, least of all us. So," she continued, "you have questions?"
"On my home planet, before all this, I was a scientist," said Sam, explaining. "I—it was my job to ask questions."
"And you pestered Jolinar with them?" asked Saroosh.
"Well—" Sam started to admit.
"Oh, no need to justify!" said Saroosh. "I am glad that you ruffled her feathers, she deserves it."
"Well, considering my situation, I didn't want to make her upset," said Sam, shrugging.
"Mm, so I heard," said Saroosh, sobering up. "It is true that you do not see this as a fortuitous accident, then?"
"Oh, no," Sam blurted out, surprised. "That is," she added, trying to make it sound less harsh, "it's not that I hate her or anything—I just didn't choose it, and I don't want it."
"You did hate her, didn't you?" asked Saroosh, looking at her closely.
"Yes," said Sam slowly. "She stole my body, threw a wrench in my perfect life, and what have I got for it?"
"Very true, very true," said Saroosh more lightly. "I do not judge—you have every right to think as you do. It is just, we do not see this often, objections to being a host of a Tok'ra. You are an anomaly."
"You're happy with your life?" asked Sam, curiously.
"Should I not be?" asked Saroosh back. "I have had good health, a long life, and a constant friend and companion—not to mention the wisdom and knowledge that I should never have gained on my own."
"But your family," continued Sam, "your life before?"
Saroosh sighed. "Yes, they are all dead and gone, and their children, and their children afterwards."
"You don't miss it?" asked Sam.
"With this life, my dear, you don't miss anything," said Saroosh. "Every day brings another crisis, or if not, another project and plan needing our help. Even when that is done, there is talk and company. We are a family, in more ways than one, and one that has lasted longer than any family I would have known on my home-world." Saroosh let out her breath in a happy sigh. "But, I should be answering your questions," she said.
"Well, that was one of them," said Sam. "But—how does this whole symbiotic thing work, anyway? I mean, physically."
"Well, there is one who knows more about that than I," said Saroosh. "Just a second." She dipped her head, and Sam knew what was coming next.
"Hello again," she said, as Saroosh's face changed infinitesimally.
"Greetings, Samantha Carter," came the deeper voice. "I am Selmak. And as to your question, it is a difficult thing to describe."
"Try me," said Sam with a smile.
"Our kind are small, with a bone structure like that of snakes," began Selmak. "We consist of few organs, so we require a host to fulfill the rest. By entering through the mouth, or the back of the neck, we are able to link directly with the spinal cord and the host's mind."
Sam gritted her teeth, willing herself not to flinch as the process was described.
"We secrete a chemical upon entering," continued Selmak. "You might call it a neurotransmitter, though it serves a more complex purpose. It passes along the neurons to the brain, and it provides the link between the two consciousnesses, transferring memories and thoughts as patterns from one mind to the other. It is impossible to describe in such laymen's terms, but that is the general idea."
"Okay, I guess that makes sense," said Sam. "What about these tendril things that I've heard about?"
"Once in the mind, we immediately have some blending, through the chemical," said Selmak. "But full blending requires much more of the chemical than we can instantly secrete. At our will, and after some time, we grow limb-like structures that branch out and deepen the blending, until all things are shared. It sounds physically invasive," added Selmak at the sight of Sam's discomfort, "but all blending is a chemical reaction. If a symbiote were to die within the host without being fully blended, the chemical secreted upon its death would transfer all the final thoughts to the host, though admittedly at random and without order or purpose."
"Okay," said Sam, nodding and swallowing a little nervously. "So when Jolinar leaves, there won't be anything residual?"
"No, that is another matter entirely," said Selmak. "Symbiotes carry naquadah with them, and it becomes a part of the host permanently. Even when unblended, that naquadah will follow you forever. But it should not affect your life in any way—it serves to detect other symbiotes, and to activate Goa'uld and Tok'ra technology."
"I can live with that," said Sam with a little shrug. "Sounds useful, actually."
"If you were to host Jolinar for many years," added Selmak, "there would also be the issue of your aging."
"What do you mean?" asked Sam, interested.
"The presence of a symbiote can slow the aging of cells," said Selmak, "but only on a temporary basis. Like the sarcophagus, continual treatment is required. Without the symbiote, you would regress dramatically without treatment. But for you, as I said, this is not an issue."
Sam frowned, thinking. "I'm just wondering, from what you've told me—do you remove the Goa'uld from their hosts?"
Selmak sighed and sat up straighter. "It is a difficult question, Samantha Carter."
"Why, what's the matter?" asked Sam.
"Firstly, a symbiote can kill its host if it wishes," said Selmak, "though it is only likely to do so if there is no possible hope of escape. They are not self-sacrificing. The Tok'ra can sometimes subdue the symbiote before this happens, and with surgery, it may be removed with little or no damage to the host. But it is dangerous for many reasons. The symbiote may not come easily, and if it does, the regression may not always be helped. Even then, the psychological damage is not within our power to heal."
"Yeah, I understand that," said Sam, but her face was pained.
"Is this of importance to you?" asked Selmak.
"I—" Sam began hesitantly. "I—I knew the host of the Goa'uld Amonet," she said. "She was the wife of my friend before she was taken. He, well we, have been trying to find a way to get her back."
"She is the mother of the harcesis?" asked Selmak.
Sam flinched. "She's being forced to do it, yes," she said. "Her name is Sha're."
Selmak sighed. "I do not know if we will be able to find her, and if so, if the host can be saved. Such circumstances have been rare, and not always successful."
"But you would try?" asked Sam. "You try not to kill Goa'uld if there's any chance?"
"Samantha Carter," said Selmak, leaning over to put a hand on her knee. "If it was in our power to destroy an evil being, then the choice is between saving potentially thousands by the Goa'uld's death, or risking those lives in an attempt to save one that may not be in reach of salvation. What choice do you think we would make?"
Sam bit her lip, not looking into Selmak's eyes. "I don't want to have to make that choice," she said, but the pain in her voice was great.
"No one does," said Selmak. "But someone must."
"I don't get it," said Sam, branching out from her discomfort. "You care about lives, you care about freedom—why don't the Goa'uld? Why are they all so evil?"
"If you bore the memory of all your ancestors, all their despicable deeds and desires, could you resist it without reason to? From the time they are born, the Goa'uld have all odds against them."
"And the Tok'ra?" asked Sam.
"Our genetic memory comes from our foremother, Egeria. She was once of the Goa'uld—but she chose another path, and granted that memory to her many children." Selmak spoke now with respect in her voice. "Rarely, the memories do not subdue the free will of the symbiote and they can grow beyond them."
"Is that what happened to Cordesh, only the opposite way?" asked Sam.
"We shall not know for sure, but it is not a flawed guess," said Selmak with a dark tone. "Genetics do not hold all the answers."
Sam fell silent, looking down at her hands, and wondering how much of her behavior could be explained by her father. Too much, she thought with discomfort.
*So do all children think,* said Jolinar quietly.
"Are these all your questions?" asked Selmak, surprised.
"No, not all," said Sam. "But—you gave me enough thought for now. I need to absorb. Thanks," she said.
"May I speak with our Jolinar, if you are done?" asked Selmak.
"Sure," said Sam, retreating as much as she could. Jolinar took over, and Sam ducked back to think and brood in silence.
"The whole base is murmuring about your revelations," said Selmak to Jolinar, sitting up in her chair to address the other symbiote.
"I knew they would," said Jolinar.
"If the Goa'uld feel free in their power to attempt such a venture, it shows how gravely we have failed," Selmak continued.
"Yes, well, what was to be expected?" said Jolinar shortly.
"You do not wish to speak of it?" asked Selmak, but without much surprise.
"I've done all the talking on the issue that I wish," said Jolinar. "Now is a time for actions, not words."
"So you have always told us," said Selmak, the hint of a dark grin on her mouth. "But it is words and ideas that have saved us, and actions but the results that follow from them."
"I save my words for when they are needed," said Jolinar. "I do not repeat myself—until there is reason to speak of Apophis and the harcesis again, I shall not bother in meaningless speculations."
"As you wish," said Selmak, settling back into her chair. "I am not surprised."
"Yes, you pester me even knowing my response," said Jolinar pointedly.
"Perhaps one day you will learn and I will not need to be so blunt," said Selmak. She smiled, even as her hands began to tremble.
"Have you eaten this morning?" asked Jolinar.
"Yes, I have," said Selmak. Then, she added, "And no, that did not distract me from the subject. I am not yet senile, Jolinar."
Jolinar sighed, and did not even try to look innocent.
"It is Amonet, is it not?" Selmak continued.
"Yes," said Jolinar simply.
"Is she not symbiote to the friend of your own host, Samantha?" asked Selmak.
"No, Samantha has only met her once—Sha're was but mated to a friend of Samantha's," corrected Jolinar.
"Such ill fortune for such a coincidence," said Selmak.
~What exactly does she mean?~ asked Sam out of curiosity.
*When Amonet is silenced for the pregnancy, her host has control,* explained Jolinar, not in the mood to give control up just for Selmak to answer. *She will likely go to a place of meaning to her, so the more we know of the host, the more we can guess where she will go to birth the harcesis.*
~Really?~ asked Sam, suddenly intrigued. ~That's it? That's all you need?~
*What is this?* asked Jolinar, frowning.
~You didn't tell me you needed that kind of information,~ said Sam.
*But you know scarce more than nothing about her, so you implied,* said Jolinar.
Sam was growing even more excited and hopeful. ~Oh Daniel, you will thank us yet, I promise! Jolinar, I know one very important thing about Sha're—I know her home-world.~
Selmak was watching as Jolinar's face reflected her emotions. "What is it?" she asked.
"Answers, the answers we needed," said Jolinar without introduction. She rose in haste.
"Jolinar, what is it?" asked Selmak, too frail to stand up so unexpectedly.
"I underestimated Samantha," said Jolinar, turning to leave. She called back over her shoulder, "She knows the home-world of Amonet's host!"
~So what does this mean?~ asked Sam, as they hurried down the hallway towards the Council chamber.
*It means we may have a chance of finding Amonet,* said Jolinar. *And that is of great importance to us all.*
~But what then?~ asked Sam.
*Wait and see—I have not answers for such questions,* said Jolinar.
ooooooo
"Where have you been?" asked Jack, hands on hips as Daniel came back to him.
"Sorry, I was just talking to General Hammond again," said Daniel.
"Sure you were," said Jack. "Just admit it—you hate this as much as I do." He waved a hand in the general vicinity of the various personnel files.
"Yes, Jack, I do," said Daniel testily. "But only because you're making it so difficult!"
"Am not," protested Jack with a frown.
"Right, because of course you're giving everyone unbiased consideration," Daniel muttered, sitting down with a thwump and snatching a few files to look at.
"It's not my fault and you know it," said Jack. "I have high standards, who wouldn't?"
"So lower them," said Daniel.
"It's not that easy," muttered Jack. "Don't try to pretend that you have, either."
"If this isn't about the new team members, don't try to pretend that it is," said Daniel. "This is about Sam, isn't it? You don't want to give up on her."
"You didn't either," shot back Jack. "You were mad as hell with me when I agreed with Hammond!"
"Okay, yes, I was upset," said Daniel, throwing his hands up. "But I got over it, Jack, I didn't hold a grudge about it."
"There's no grudge!" protested Jack. "I just—" He stopped, trailed off, and turned back in frustration to the paperwork.
"I know," said Daniel, his irritation dying and turning to attempts at understanding. "If I think too hard on it, I think I might just fall apart, so I don't."
"That's not healthy, you know," Jack tossed at him flippantly.
"Right," said Daniel wearily. He put down the file he was holding, removed his glasses, and rubbed his eyes.
"Tiring, isn't it?" said Jack.
"Yeah, sure," said Daniel, accepting the offered excuse. "Why doesn't Teal'c help?"
"He can't read these," said Jack, shaking his head at Daniel's ignorance. "Hell, I'm not sure I can read all of these terms, and I went to public school!"
"What is he doing, then?" asked Daniel. "Doesn't he feel welcome to join us?"
"You know, Daniel, I haven't really spent time psychoanalyzing the guy," said Jack. "He probably just wants to be alone. I know I wouldn't mind it."
"Fine, I'll shut up," said Daniel, picking up the file again.
"I didn't mean that," said Jack from behind his file.
"Yes, you did," answered Daniel without looking at him.
"No, not really," said Jack again.
"Yes, you did," pushed Daniel.
"Okay, yes I did," said Jack. "And now I really mean it."
There was a moment of silence, and both men seemed to sigh a little. It felt good to argue, felt normal, even when nothing else did.
"How about this Mckay guy," offered Daniel after a moment. "Have you seen his credentials?"
"The only part I cared about was that he'd never been on any kind of team before," said Jack.
"Neither had I," reminded Daniel.
"Archaeologists are more active than physi-whatever he is," said Jack.
"He'd learn," said Daniel. "You can't help it, being on the team."
"No offense, Daniel, but I don't want to have to go through another one of you," said Jack, throwing a glance his way.
Daniel sighed, and then the phone rang, and they both jumped.
"I got it," said Daniel.
"Why you?" asked Jack.
"Well, we're in my lab, since you don't seem to know where your office is," said Daniel, grabbing the phone.
"Dr. Jackson?"
"Yes, sir?" answered Daniel.
"You can tell Colonel O'Neill that a five-man team has been approved by the President. He can pick his members, and we'll let them know so they'll be ready by the time you go back on duty."
"Thank you, sir," said Daniel earnestly, gratefully. "This is—this is very good."
"They all understood what you must be going through—and as the flagship team, they agreed that more variety is better."
Hammond hung up the phone, and Daniel put his back on the hook.
"Well, what was that?" asked Jack curiously.
"General Hammond," said Daniel. "He says I should tell you that the guys at the Pentagon have approved a five-man team for SG-1."
"What?" asked Jack in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah—I kind of went in and vouched for it this morning," said Daniel. "You know what that means, right?"
"What?" asked Jack suspiciously.
"That we get to compromise," said Daniel simply. "You choose the military guy, I choose the science guy."
"Or girl," corrected Jack, but quickly realizing that that was the wrong thing to say.
"Yeah," said Daniel sadly. "We'll see."