Chapter 9 - Identification
Sam woke up with sand in her hair and in the corners of her eyes, the rest of her thankfully wrapped in the blanket from last night. The sun was behind her, and Jolinar was fast asleep. Martouf—or Lantash—stood on the ridge, looking out over the golden sand dunes lit by the morning sun. Looking at the state of the blanket, though, Sam surmised that he had slept nearby. It was an uncomfortable thought, but not as bad as it could have been under other circumstances. Slowly, not to wake Jolinar, Sam sat up and used her fingers to brush out her hair. Jolinar had not taken out the gel from yesterday, and combined with the sand, it made her hair gritty and sticking out in several directions. Sam pushed it all down as best she could, but resigned herself to the fact that it was bed-head, pure and simple.
Martouf/Lantash must have heard her rustle, and turned back. Judging from his face, Sam was sure he knew that Jolinar wasn't in control—it wouldn't be difficult to tell, considering how both of them held themselves and the facial expressions they allowed.
"Good morning, Samantha," he said—it was definitely Martouf.
"She's still asleep," said Sam quietly. She took a deep breath; the slight desert wind was only a little less dry than the night before and there was a warmish smell to the air.
"That's good," Martouf commented. "She is so stubborn about it, but she needs sleep."
"Really?" said Sam. "She seemed willing enough before."
Martouf frowned a little. "Yes, when it becomes a necessity—but she lets it get that far."
"Is that—" Sam started, then broke off. "Never mind."
"What is it?" asked Martouf, sitting down next to her again.
"It's just—I think her lack of sleep shows," said Sam.
Martouf smiled. "Yes, you noticed?"
There was a pause, and then, as Jolinar was still soundly sleeping, "I hated her," said Sam.
Martouf blinked, but didn't flinch.
"It wasn't just the irritability," said Sam, "but that was part of it. I—I didn't want to say it like that earlier."
"I can appreciate that," said Martouf. "It was wrong, what she did."
"I don't think that was it," admitted Sam. "If she had ignored me, I wouldn't have cared. But it was who she was, and how she acted, and the way she tried to convince me it would be fine if I would just accept it. It still bothers me, but it made me hate her then."
Martouf nodded slowly, his brow furrowed in a slightly darker mood. "And yet, you aided her in the escape?"
"I didn't hate her enough to kill us both," said Sam with a weak smile. "And, well, just because I hate someone...I don't get caught up in it. She's not the first person in my life like that, anyway..."
Martouf cocked his head and looked at her. "Family?" he asked.
"Yeah, actually," said Sam, looking up with some surprise. "Did you...?"
"I don't think about those times much," said Martouf. "But now, as Tok'ra, we are all children of Egeria, even adopted ones. And—well, families are not so different among other races."
"The ones you love and hate to love at the same time?" said Sam half-rhetorically.
Martouf nodded. "Even in happy families, there is always that someone."
"Yeah," said Sam. "I don't really know about that. We tried to hold things together, but my family doesn't really talk to each other. I think I talk to my friends on the team more than I've ever spoken to my brother or my dad."
"That is good, that you have those who care for you," said Martouf. "You are anxious to get back to them?"
"Sort of," said Sam. "I'm worried, though—I don't want to go yet. I need this mission to go well before anything else can happen. That's what I'm anxious for, right now."
*Yes, I hear you,* said Jolinar, waking up. *Trying to be subtle in your waking techniques?*
~Actually, I was just talking to Martouf, not you,~ commented Sam.
"Awoken at last?" asked Martouf, seeing the change on Sam's face.
"And perky as ever," said Sam with rueful grin.
*We should move quickly,* said Jolinar, not taking control, but clearly wishing to.
"Well, I think we'll be getting started," said Sam, standing up.
Martouf stood, and scooped up the blanket. "Thank you, Samantha, for allowing this."
"It's okay, that was fine," said Sam, giving the briefest of smiles to prove her point. "I guess I'll see you when we get back, then."
"Indeed," said Martouf.
"Say goodbye to Lantash for me," said Samantha. She bowed her head, and Jolinar jumped at her permission.
"Martouf," she said.
"Sleep well, my love?" asked Martouf.
"Well enough," said Jolinar. "We shall leave shortly, if there is no further interruption."
"Then this is farewell again," said Martouf with a slight sigh.
"For a short time," said Jolinar. They stood standing for a moment, looking deep into each other's eyes, and Sam felt that they were communicating without words.
Then Martouf lowered his head, and Lantash came forward. He stepped forward, leaning down to rest his forehead against Jolinar's. "You have not promised to be careful on this venture yet," he said.
"Must it always be spoken?" said Jolinar.
"With you, yes," said Lantash. He was about to lean in closer, then paused.
*May I have this?* asked Jolinar quickly.
Sam held back for a second, then gave in, ~Keep it clean, please,~ she said.
Jolinar leaned up, softly kissing Lantash. Carefully, almost gingerly, as if Sam was literally in the middle and they did not wish to squash her, they shared this kiss. Lantash barely put his arms around Jolinar, thumbs running in small circles on her arms. It was sweet, it was tender, and Sam just pretended it was happening to someone else. It wasn't too traumatic in the end—she rather liked Martouf, and even Lantash. She just wasn't ready to behave as if they were married. The embrace ended shortly.
"We will be on our way, then," said Jolinar.
It was a brisk walk back to the Tok'ra facilities, and though the sun was blaringly bright, the morning felt good to Sam. Jolinar was as usual, taking a brief sponge bath and washing her hair in a matter of moments. Again, she brushed it down and gelled it flat. But she opened a drawer and brought out rouge and other paints, a bit more old-fashioned than what Sam wore on special occasions, but perfect for the role. After brushing on a dark lilac eye color and a rich dark lipstick, what with the change in hairstyle, Sam was surprised at how unfamiliar her own face could look with the right treatment.
Then it was time to put on the rest of the part. The Goa'uld gown that Jolinar selected was a plum color, but highlighted in a more flashy magenta. It was made of a heavily jeweled and brocaded fabric, but the skirt was in pieces like a leather battle-dress and beneath it flowed a gauzy fabric that poked out between the slits. The bodice was lightly corseted, with a low scalloped neckline and short shell sleeves, with an under-sleeve in the same gauzy material that was slit on the bottom seam. Standing still in front of the mirror, it all looked stately and just a bit ridiculous.
It was frightening to Sam how she could almost forget that it was her there, not Jolinar of Malkshur (or whatever alias she would use), Goa'uld System Lord. And as soon as Jolinar began walking down the corridor, the under-sleeve and the skirt flowed out behind, and it was all quite royally graceful, only adding to the impression. Jolinar always held herself like a queen, but in this outfit her manner felt intimidating to Sam. That was a good feeling, though, she told herself.
Most of the supplies they had packed were already sent through the gate, and of the essentials that had to be carried, the gown offered several hidden pockets. It was a swift walk to the gate, where armed Tok'ra stood ready to dial.
"Good journey," offered the one with a slight bow.
"Safe return," said the other, dialing the gate.
Jolinar barely nodded in return, neck firmly held, chin and nose tilted a little upwards.
The familiar sounds gave Sam hints of regret as the chevrons locked, but she forced herself to ignore them. At last, the whirl and chaos of blue, and then the shimmering puddle. Jolinar stepped forward, took one last breath, and led them both through the wormhole.
ooooooo
Daniel ate alone in the commissary, as he usually did. It would have been his desire for the team to all eat together, but shortly after forming, it became clear that his teammates were not so social. Even Sam, who had clicked with him in almost all things, usually ate in silence and alone, probably going over various problems in her mind. Eating was the only time Daniel didn't want to think about work, and he wanted someone else there to distract him from thinking about his personal life. Especially now.
No, especially now. It had been bad enough, this past year, but this was the third day of the worst time of his life. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, because they were all keeping up a good face, and he even tried to behave as if it wasn't an act. But he missed her. They all did, and they wouldn't admit the pain.
It was worse than if she had died, if there had been a memorial service and black suits and a time of mourning. No, this was MIA, and in the worst possible way. It wasn't like they could scan every inch until they found her, even if they had permission, and it wasn't like they knew she was just waiting for them. They didn't know anything, and they couldn't ask.
A little quip here, a joke there, and Daniel managed to get through the day. But eating breakfast was a vulnerable time. At least today would be full, as they finalized how the new team would look. He would have thought that he'd be more indignant, but maybe the loss of Sha're had been better preparation than he knew. Whatever he had learned, it was that he could bury himself in his work and in other people, and as soon as there was someone else on the team he could get to work on that.
If he didn't kill Jack first. Or Teal'c, except any frustration towards him was quickly tempered by his frightening presence. Mostly it was just Jack. God, how he missed Sam, the one person who could sympathize when their glorious team leader purposely pushed his buttons. When he met with the prospective teammates today, his one desire was to find a smidgen of that compatibility, at least to have someone who'd be more on his side than Jack's or Teal'c's.
Sighing, he looked at the clock. It was time. He picked up his tray and carried it to the counter. Truth be told, he wasn't meant to be on a team like this—he wasn't good at picking partners, especially not for a mission where loss could almost be expected, and he didn't look forward to it. He'd have been more than happy to have the burden out of his hands.
Except, well, the other hands were all military. No, he needed this choice, to do justice to Sam and to the team and Earth in general as SG-1 resumed its exploration of the galaxy. And he only had to act like he was content about it.
ooooooo
The world on the other side of the wormhole was fresh and new. Jolinar stepped out onto a platform above what was almost a Goa'uld parking lot. Sam was overwhelmed at the sight of so many ships, large and small, but the numbers making as much an impression as the size. They were gorgeous and impressive, and the bug-like Jaffa moving among their huge bases seemed inconsequential to their majesty.
The Jaffa at the gate, however, did not.
"Who are you?" asked the leader, the symbol of Apophis in inky black on his forehead.
"I am Meshkhent, servant of Apophis," Jolinar declared, voice harsh and firm. "I have been sent to a prepare a ship for his service."
"We received no word of this," said the Jaffa, not moving from his spot or lowering the staff weapon in his hands.
"Fool, I am the word sent!" said Jolinar, flashing her eyes.
"As our lord commands," said the Jaffa, bowing his head. "I shall send this Jaffa to accompany you."
"I need not his help," said Jolinar brushing away. "Our lord requires haste, and I know well what I seek."
"Of course," said the Jaffa, bowing again.
"You shall not patronize me again," warned Jolinar before sweeping past him and down the stairs off the platform.
There was a small winding path down the hill on which the Stargate stood, and then they were among the ships. Sam sat back, drinking in the view Jolinar gave her. She felt the tingle as the naquadah in Jolinar reacted with the Goa'uld ships even more strongly than with the other symbiotes. But she didn't even need that connection—only recently had she been so close to one of these ships, and even then she had admired them. Now, as she was to fly one again, and the world wasn't in danger—it was an amazing feeling of power.
Sam wasn't exactly sure which type of ship they were going for, but Jolinar didn't move towards the huge pyramid ships, and after walking past a couple of the tinier versions, she assumed that the larger, flatter ones must be Al'kesh. As they drew near to one, Sam was quite satisfied. It was a good ship, large enough to fit the alibi, but small enough for one trained pilot.
Jolinar walked with long strides up to one, and did not even glance at the Jaffa standing guard. She stepped inside, and Sam had conflicting feelings—Jolinar's, of pleasure at the familiar design, and her own, on alert whenever near Goa'uld things. Jolinar walked around a little running her hand along the wall, the hand device clinking nicely against it.
"It is well made," she said aloud to no one. Sweeping back out to the entrance, she stared down the Jaffa. "You there! Our lord requires that this ship be sent to him immediately. You will tell your commander that I have taken it, for I have no time to report to such a peon."
The Jaffa's eyes darted between the ship, Jolinar, and his leader up by the Stargate, but he bowed his head and marched off.
"Success," said Jolinar with a dark grin.
Before any suspicion might have been made, she went to the bridge and sat down. Sam watched with interest as she adjusted dials and pressed buttons, and the whole thing began to light up. Then the engines rumbled, and shields were raised, and before another minute had passed they were in the air. Sam remembered the glory of her first solo flight in a fighter jet, and realized as the clouds gave way to stars, that this combined the glory of that with her ever-constant longing for space. Sure, she worked in space now, but it was really on land—not in space.
*We are free of the planet,* said Jolinar. *And only if the Jaffa at the gate suspected us are we in danger of being tracked. Otherwise, we left too swiftly. With some luck, it will be a full day or more before they discover the truth.*
A moment or so in space, and then that web-like window opened and they were flying through the streaky-blue-purple of hyperspace. Jolinar set the coordinates and controls, and walked back to the other areas of the ship. As Sam had suspected, there were food rations and other various things that might be needed for travel. Returning to the bridge, she found that they were almost to the planet.
They jumped out, Jolinar flew low and ringed up the previously packed supplies, and then they were back up in the sky and on their way to Abydos. Even at full hyperspace it would take many hours, and Jolinar retired to a more comfortable room.
~The people of Abydos have been untroubled by the Goa'uld for some time now,~ said Sam. ~What if they try to kill you?~
*You will speak to them,* said Jolinar. *We will see as soon as we land whether there are Jaffa, and if not, surely your presence will keep them calm.*
~In this dress?~
*Then mention your friend right off, Daniel was it?*
~Sha're will know that you are there,~ said Sam. ~I've noticed how easy it is to tell where other symbiotes are.~
*Is she one to order her people to fire on sight?* asked Jolinar.
Sam almost laughed. ~No, I don't think so. She wouldn't be adverse to it if necessary, but she's diplomatic.~ The amusement gave way to a mood much darker. ~That was before she was taken—who knows what all this time has done to her.~
There being nothing further to discuss, Jolinar went into some sort of deep meditation, and Sam wondered if it was at all related to kel'no'reem. The past couple days had been fairly kind on her and she wasn't needing sleep, so she started to run through her old plan for increasing the efficiency of the dialing program. It was longer without recourse to a computer or even pen and paper, but that just filled up the time.
*What?*
The sudden noise in Sam's head made her jolt. ~What?~
*I fell asleep, what is this about variables?*
~Nothing,~ said Sam. ~Nothing I was talking to you about, anyway. How long has it been?~
*I am not a personal timekeeping device,* said Jolinar. *Especially not while sleeping.*
~The Tok'ra need to invest in watches,~ said Sam.
*Time is rarely an issue,* said Jolinar. *As you've seen, a few extra minutes here and there matter little.*
~Come on then, I have to know what it is now,~ said Sam.
Jolinar rose from her relaxed position and wandered to the bridge. According to the computer they were about half an hour from Abydos.
~Wow, how long were you asleep?~ asked Sam.
*Not long,* said Jolinar. *And what were these variables that had you engrossed so that you did not notice ten hours passing by?*
~It's not that simple to explain,~ said Sam. ~But I could, if you're really interested in our version of a DHD.~
*That primitive thing?* asked Jolinar.
~That we invented without having a DHD to work with,~ said Sam. ~Yes, several other alien races have found it quite fascinating.~
*And did these races have a fondness for history museums?* asked Jolinar.
~Just, stop it,~ said Sam. ~Never mind.~
*How did Ra take the dialing device but not the Stargate?* asked Jolinar after a moment.
Sam smirked as Jolinar forgot she was supposed to be scornful. ~Well, we think that the DHD was on Earth but was somehow destroyed. We haven't found it.~
*Have you been looking?* asked Jolinar. *Why give up after only two years?*
Sam laughed. ~Jolinar, we've been digging in almost every place on this planet for hundreds of years—just because we didn't know what we were looking for doesn't mean we weren't looking for anything. And the Stargate was found eighty years ago, it was just that it took a long time to find out what it was and how to use it.~
*Eighty years,* marveled Jolinar. *And your history had nothing that might suggest what it was?*
~Well, if you believe Daniel...~ Sam trailed off. ~Never mind.~
They sat in silence, staring out into hyperspace. Only a few more minutes...
Finally the strange sky gave way to stars again, and they were just out of Abydos' orbit. Jolinar took the controls and guided the ship to the surface, using her sensors as a guide to find where the Stargate was.
~What if she didn't come here?~ though Sam suddenly.
*Stop that!*
The landing was smooth, and for a few seconds Jolinar still sat. She brought up another screen, and watched as it registered who was approaching the ship.
*No one,* she said. *Why do you suppose that?*
~They have been trained to fight against the Goa'uld,~ said Sam.
*Ah, here comes one. But one only—there are no Jaffa here, else they would have approached in numbers.*
Standing up and stretching for a moment after the long ride, Jolinar twisted her neck to one side until there was a light pop. Exhaling satisfactorily, she rose and strode down to open the ramp.
~Um, Jolinar?~
*Oh, yes,* she said, stopping and giving the control to Sam.
Feeling every part of her body again was a welcome sensation to Sam, even if the clothes and heavy makeup felt even stranger than before. Smiling, but nervously, she pressed the button combination that would open the door. It went down slowly, but at last revealed who had come.
*Do you know him?* asked Jolinar.
~Yes, yes, I'm pretty sure, but I don't remember his name,~ said Sam.
The old man stood tall and proud, but Sam could read in his stance that he was just as, if not more, nervous than she was. She stepped forward, and couldn't help but notice how strange the long skirt felt compared to the BDUs.
"My lord?" asked the man hesitantly.
Good father, that was it, and—Kasuf! "Kasuf," said Sam, stepping forward and trying not to look worried.
Kasuf stepped back. "Who are you?"
"Do you remember when Daniel was last with you?" she asked. "And the people from his world?"
"Cappincata?" asked Kasuf.
"Close enough," said Sam, smiling. "Sam will work."
"Why do you stand before me as a false god?" he demanded.
"Has Sha're returned?" asked Sam.
Kasuf stepped back again. "What do you know of this?"
"She's here, then," said Sam, stepping forward as her heart began to beat faster. "Kasuf, I know this looks strange, but we didn't know if Amonet brought any Jaffa."
"You know the name of the demon as well," said Kasuf, watching her with a strange expression. "How do you know this? Why are you here? Where is my son Dan'yel?"
"It's a long story, Kasuf, but I'm the only one here," said Sam.
"Ah, but you said we, I heard you," said Kasuf. "Is Dan'yel coming?"
"It's part of the long story, trust me," said Sam. "Please, I need to see Sha're."
Kasuf nodded slowly, but he did not seem to stop watching her as they began walking. Jolinar had landed just outside the settlement, and it was a short walk across the sand to the tents.
"It is well!" called Kasuf as they drew near.
People who had been crowded in tents, leaving the walkways bare, began spilling out. Sam was not surprised to see that they still had some Earth guns, as well as Goa'uld weapons, and were ready to wield them if they had to. They stared at her with wide eyes.
"It is Dan'yel's friend!" called Kasuf above the murmurings as they passed through the crowd.
*These are a strange people,* commented Jolinar. *Stranger than yours, almost.*
Kasuf finally stopped in front of a tent, and turned to face Sam. "What do you mean to do?"
"I'm not going to hurt her, Kasuf, if that's what you mean," said Sam.
"But it is a long story," said Kasuf, nodding.
Sam smiled. "Yeah, yeah it is."
Still slightly suspicious, Kasuf pulled back the tent door and led her inside. Sam looked around, and in the corner caught a glimpse of dark curls.
"My daughter," said Kasuf, walking towards her. "You must see, it is one who knows Dan'yel."
Sha're stood up as her father came, and as she turned to Sam it was plain that all was as they had thought—she was unequivocally far along in her pregnancy. She saw Sam, and her face seemed to brighten a little. Sam stepped forward, and then stopped. Sha're's face darkened.
"Father, she is demon-possessed!" she cried.
"What is this?" demanded Kasuf, glancing past Sam as if to judge how long it would take his people to come.
"Please, let me tell you the full story before you do anything," said Sam, putting up her hands non-threateningly. "I am not a Goa'uld."
"Then why can I feel it?" asked Sha're. "My senses have not lied, you are demon or Jaffa."
"Not exactly," said Sam. "Can we sit down? I'm not going to do anything, I just want to talk."
Sha're looked to her father. "You sit," he said. "I will stand."
Sam nodded, and stepped forward to sit by Sha're. The woman did not flinch at her presence, but neither did she look pleased. But Sam, finally seeing her after all this tension, felt her shoulders and neck relax.
"Where is Dan'yel?" asked Sha're, letting her piercing gaze rest full on Sam.
"I don't know," said Sam.
"Are you not part of SG-1?" asked Sha're. "I have heard of you."
"Sha're, I haven't seen Daniel in several days," said Sam. "You were right—I have a symbiote in me. That is why I had to leave Daniel and our world."
"Your demon is silent also?" asked Sha're curiously.
"In a way," said Sam, smiling a little, and more as Jolinar murmured in her mind. "They are not all demons, Sha're."
"A good demon?" asked Sha're. "No, they do not exist."
"That's what she told you, isn't it," said Sam, and she almost felt guilty as Sha're flinched.
"Yes," said Sha're.
"These creatures that take us, they do not all wish to control our lives," said Sam, talking slowly as she tried to find the right words to explain it. "They need us, and some of them just want to share our body and mind."
"I do not believe it," said Sha're, shaking her head.
"I know, it's strange," said Sam. "But these—beings—they wish to free all of us from the Goa'uld. They fight for us. They are the Tok'ra."
Sha're looked up at this. "That name..."
"She probably knows it," said Sam. "The Goa'uld fear them."
Sha're frowned, thinking.
Sam reached forward and put a hand on her knee. "Sha're, I'm here to help you. I know what Amonet has done to you, and I know what will happen when your child is born."
Sha're looked up, suddenly stricken. "You know what the child is?"
"Yes," said Sam. "And we—the Tok'ra and me—want to save him, want to save you. We can take Amonet away forever and let you be free again."
"Free for Dan'yel?" asked Sha're.
"Yes," said Sam. "I can't find him now, but I promise you will be free and we'll find him together."
Sha're looked down at her hands, then looked back up at Sam, her eyes sharp. "And if you are a demon who seeks to deceive me?"
"Would a Goa'uld try, or would they come with Jaffa and take you by force?" countered Sam.
"Maybe you want my information, or what my demon can tell you?" said Sha're.
"It is your choice," said Sam. "If you don't want to come, I won't stop you."
*You would let this galactic choice rest on one woman's feelings?* asked Jolinar suddenly.
~You would force her to a choice?~
*I would find another way first, but if the galaxy depended on it...*
~Well, it doesn't, not now.~
Sha're looked up. "You were friend to Dan'yel?"
"Yes," said Sam. "I still am, I hope."
"And the Tok'ra will not keep me from finding him?"
"No, of course not," said Sam.
"Then I will trust you," said Sha're. "I do not know if I believe, but I will trust you."
Sam couldn't help it, and let her smile grow even wider. "I won't disappoint," she said.
Sha're rose. "If you have spoken falsely, I shall not give in," she warned.
There was no comment to follow that. "Let's go, then," Sam said. "We will take the ship."
"But my daughter!" said Kasuf. He had been silent, nodding at times, but now came forward. "Dan'yel returns to this world, and what shall I say to him if you are not here?"
Sha're looked to Sam, worried.
"We'll be back for that, I promise," said Sam. "It would be a disaster if we missed it."
"How will I know how she is?" asked Kasuf.
"Is your gate buried?" asked Sam.
"Of course, Dan'yel said so," said Kasuf.
"Okay, but he's not coming for several weeks," said Sam. "But if you unbury it in two weeks, I'll contact you and you'll know what happened."
"You are sure?" asked Kasuf, and Sam didn't know which one of them he was talking to.
"I am sure," said Sha're.
Kasuf looked to Sam.
"I'll bring her back and she will be free," said Sam.
Sha're ran back to embrace her father, and then returned to Sam. As they left the tent and began walking to the ship, Sam realized that everything had gone without a hitch.
~Wow,~ she said. ~Not bad for a mission with so many variables.~
*Yes, too well,* said Jolinar darkly. *If this is luck alone, it is rarer than the rarest of possibilities.*
~We won for now, though,~ said Sam. ~And we can't know what will happen next. I say we take the win.~
Jolinar silently gave in, and they reached the ship. A few more hours, and they would be in safety. Sam's hopes were realized—the Goa'uld were not all powerful, and there was a chance that she could get home. That was worth even this horrid disguise.