The song is "I Need You" by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. Nope, I don't own it either.
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The entire house hit the ground running early the next morning. Between getting children ready and dressed herself, Jessie barely had time to breathe. When they all rushed to the waiting limos, they still had last minute hair and make-up to touch up.
They all piled out at the church, children in tow, ready for the day. The photographer kept them busy until it was time for guests to arrive.
Radar and Mary Anne were a big help. Mary Anne helped with the food and the bridesmaids while Radar helped with last minute set-ups of candelabras and statuary. Jessie found that Mary Anne was shy, but had a wonderful sense of humor once she opened up.
It was a little weird to actually like the girl.
Jessie finally had a minute to herself when the chattering bridesmaids and bride were continuing with pictures. She quickly studied herself in the mirror, deciding she needed more blush. Fumbling in the bag she had brought full of make-up and extra hose, she yelped when someone grabbed her waist from behind.
Charles laughed, holding her against him. "Gotcha."
"Charles! How long have you been here?"
"Flight was delayed. I really need to look at buying my own jet."
Jessie kissed his cheek, glad to see him. "Well, in two weeks, you won't be needing to fly out here all the time."
"God, I've missed you."
Jessie giggled. "I've missed you, too. Now, you better back off before I have to re-apply all my make-up."
"And maybe your dress."
Jessie swatted at him playfully.
"Hey, Jess? Does Molly want to use these . . . Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know . . ."
Charles stared.
"Oh, um, hi, Maj. . . I mean Charles." Radar fumbled with the candlesticks in his hands. "I'll just go ask Johnny. Bye." He darted out the door.
Charles held her at arm's length. "How long . . . what . . . how . . ."
Jessie opened her mouth to reply, but heard the organ begin. She cursed under her breath. "Listen, we'll talk about this later."
"You're damn straight we'll talk about it later."
Jessie was whisked away by the bridesmaids before she could reply, a sinking feeling in her chest.
Throughout the ceremony, she tried to focus her attention on her smiling brother and new sister-in-law, telling herself this was the happiest day in her brother's life, and she needed to remember that. However, every time she glanced at Charles in the audience, he looked angrier each time, color high on his cheeks, his blue eyes flashing.
She was grateful when the ceremony was over, but found herself dragged away to take even more pictures. Charles was no where to be found in the darkened church when they were finally dismissed, and the bridal party was whisked back to her father's house for the reception. Jessie gnawed her bottom lip in frustration during the entire short trip.
A large tent had been set up on the front lawn, and the band from the previous night was warming up. Uniformed waiters and waitresses walked around sedately with platters of food, offering them to the smiling, chattering guests. Jessie spotted Elizabeth galloping around back with Meggy, so she knew Radar was still there.
Charles was sitting alone at a table near the back, a surly expression on his face. The longer he was left to wonder about Radar's presence, the angrier he became. He swiped another glass of champagne off a platter as he waited for Jessie to find him.
She worked her way through the crowd, greeting old friends and family. By the time she found Charles, he had four empty glasses in front of him.
"Took you long enough."
"Don't start with me," Jessie whispered leaning in so no one could hear. "Look, let's go outside."
Wordlessly, Charles stood up and led Jessie away from the tent, his hand on her back, mostly to steady himself. They walked across the darkened lawn towards the house.
When they were safely ensconced behind the wisteria vines on the back porch, Jessie turned to face him. "None of this is what you think."
"How could you ever imagine what I'm thinking? I demand to know why your former . . . former lover is here!"
Jessie immediately became defensive. "Look, he showed up yesterday with his wife and children to give me our wedding gift! Molly insisted they stay for her wedding, and they did."
"Did they stay here?"
Jessie crossed her arms, annoyed. "Of course they stayed here! Where were they supposed to sleep? The barn?"
Charles cursed, running his hand over his face. "I can't believe this is happening!"
Jessie ground her teeth. "Nothing is happening! We've had a nice visit, and now they're going on their way to Florida for a well-deserved vacation."
Charles grasped her by her shoulders. "And, you're telling me you didn't . . . feel anything?"
Jessie's gaze faltered.
He let her go, dismayed.
"Well, of course I felt something, Charles. He was an important part of my life! But not anymore!"
"Just how am I supposed to know that's true? What if he shows up later, minus the wife? How am I supposed to know you won't follow him merrily back to Iowa?"
Jessie stepped backwards, bumping into the swing. It creaked on its chain. She felt hot tears sting her eyes and blinked to keep them from falling. "You know, he told me Hawkeye thinks you're insecure about us . . ."
"Insecure? That's preposterous! And what are you doing discussing this with Pierce, of all people?" His shoulders shook with anger as he tried not to notice she was fighting tears. He felt the old emotions roll back, the ones that told him that this woman could never love him like she loved O'Reilly.
"I didn't! But, Radar did! He showed me the invitation! If you dislike him so much, why did you send it?" Jessie yelled, louder than she intended. She covered her mouth with her hand.
"I shouldn't have," he growled, pacing along the porch, Jessie watching with a pained expression. "Maybe it's good this happened. Maybe it's for the best."
"What . . .what are you talking about?"
Charles refused to look at her. He stopped pacing abruptly and rushed down the porch steps.
"Where are you going?"
He waved his hand impatiently behind him, not answering.
Jessie watched him go. "Fine! Just go! Maybe it is for the best!" she yelled, not caring who heard. She gripped the porch railing so hard her knuckles turned white as she watched him climb into one of her father's cars. He slammed it into gear, flying out of the yard in a cloud of dust. Jessie could hear the motor race when he hit the main road.
I can't believe this is happening either.
"Um, Jess?"
"What?" Jessie snapped, fighting tears. It was her brother-in-law Hank. "Jess, Andrea's looking for you. It's time for you to go on."
Jessie nodded, not turning around. She wiped at the tears falling down her face. "Sure, sure, I'll be there in a minute."
"Are you OK?"
"I'm fine, Hank, really." She turned around and smiled, glad it was almost dark. "I'll be right there."
The three siblings had grown up singing. Andrea usually played the piano, while she and Johnny sang. Sometimes, Andrea joined in, especially on a song she liked. Molly wanted them to sing a few songs for the guests. At the time, it seemed like a good idea, especially since it could be the last time they would all be together for awhile.
Hell, I could still be here this time next year.
How was she going to tell her father? And Mattie? What about all the guests? All the invitations had been sent. And the gifts? Her mind reeled as she performed, but no one seemed to notice. When Johnny put up his microphone and danced with his wife as Jessie and Andrea sang, she almost gave in to the tears that threatened. But she didn't. And still, no one noticed.
Except one. He watched her go. With encouragement from his wife, he followed.
Jessie managed to slip away, grateful for the humid darkness. The glowing tent full of happy guests slipped behind her as she walked across the manicured lawn, her dress rustling in the grass. She made her way to the dog runs, a concrete haven for the hunting dogs that her father always raised. The dogs had the best of care, and in turn, they earned the Callahans many awards for breeding and showmanship.
Jessie made her way to the puppy pens where a new litter wrestled among themselves to get to her. She sat down on a crate and picked one squirming pup up, letting him lick her face enthusiastically. With her other hand, she rubbed the ears of the mother. The other puppies clambered over themselves at her feet, one even tugging on the hem of her dress.
Radar picked the puppy up, pulling her hem out of his teeth. He held it against his chest and rubbed his ears. "Smart little fellow, isn't he?"
"Dad wouldn't have it any other way."
"Mary Anne saw Charles leave. She said he didn't look happy."
Jessie buried her face in the clean fur. "No, he wasn't."
"It's me, isn't it?"
She set the small bundle of energy down and picked up another. "No, it's him." Jessie sat the puppy down, afraid she would hurt him in her anger. "He . . . he doesn't trust me!"
Radar stuck his hands in his pockets. "He thinks we . . ."
Shestood up and threw up her hands. "Yes! With your wife and children here! He asked me if I felt anything when I saw you, and I . . ."
"Didn't answer him like he wanted you to."
"Right!" Jessie didn't realize she found herself falling right back into the pattern of him finishing her sentences. "You were an important part of my life. Sure, I felt something! But, that was a long time ago. It's not like he hadn't been a saint in that department. Every time he hears anything French, he gets this dreamy expression on his face."
"Yeah, I heard about that, too."
Jessie huffed. Her ring caught the light from the faraway tent and sparkled. Immediately, her eyes filled. She swiped at them angrily.
"Where is he?"
"I – I don't know. He left in one of my father's cars. I guess . . ." She swallowed hard, sliding the ring off her finger.
"Now, wait a minute. Did he say he wasn't going to marry you?"
"He might as well have."
He took her hand and slipped the ring back on. "Look, he'll be back. He'd be crazy not to."
"But, he called me a liar! On my own backporch! And in case you haven't noticed, he's gone!"
He touched her shoulder. "You'll probably have worse arguments than this after you're married. He loves you, Jess."
"If we get that far. And if he does love me, he has a funny way of showing it." She looked at her watch. "Good grief, you've got to go! Didn't you say your cousin was expecting you tomorrow afternoon?"
"Yeah, I came to find you to tell you good-bye. And good luck."
Jessie reached out and hugged him. For a moment, Radar closed his eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of her hair as he held her. "He'll be back."
"Thanks." She managed a brave smile. "Let me tell Mary Anne good-bye."
Side by side, they walked back to the party. Everyone said their farewells, and Jessie watched the older-model Ford disappear down the driveway.
Sighing, she made her way back to the crowded tent, the party going full-swing, determined to enjoy herself, despite the ache in her heart.
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"Did he call it off?"
"I don't think so. But, if he keeps messin' around, Jessie will."
Mary Anne squinted her eyes as an oncoming car met them, headlights bright. "She's not mad at us, is she?"
Radar smiled at his wife. "Not at us."
They came up on a gas station, lights still aglow at this time of night. Next door was a ramshackle building surrounded by vehicles, neon lights cutting through the darkness.
Radar almost slammed on brakes in the middle of the highway when he saw the shiny Lincoln parked out front, out of place among the old dusty pick-ups. He made a sudden left into the parking lot of the gas station. "You and Elizabeth go inside and get something to drink. I'll be right back."
Mary Anne noticed the car, too. She smiled fondly at Radar before she went into the store with the children.
Radar waited until they were inside, then made his way over to the tired old building.
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. . .I need you. Like a needle needs a vein. Like my Uncle Joe in Oklahoma needs the rain . . .
Charles took another swig of beer, the only alcohol offered in this lovely piece of Texas. Since he was obviously out of place, he didn't even ask what they served. Just ordered a beer. The bartender, oblivious to the stares from the other patrons at the well-dressed man in the three-piece suit, didn't even meet his eye as he set the bottle in front of him.
As he drank, Charles tried to ignore the words wailing from the jukebox, but they kept creeping into his mind.
. . . I need you, like a lighthouse on a coast. Like the Father and the Son need the Holy Ghost. . .
He slammed the empty bottle down on the counter. He couldn't believe he had said those things. He really didn't think she had done anything wrong. But, his feelings of inadequacy had momentarily blinded his judgment. And, of course, he lacked the ability to communicate his emotions correctly. Aggravated at himself, he loosened his tie, tossing it across the bar.
. . . I want to wrap the moon around us, lay beside you, skin on skin. Make love until the sun comes up, 'til the sun goes down again . . .
He pulled a $100 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the bartender. "For God sakes, unplug that damn thing!"
The bartender snatched the money up, immediately walking from behind the counter and pulling the plug. Most of those in attendance only looked up in mild interest, then continued staring into their drinks.
Charles felt someone at his elbow. He glanced in the mirror behind the bar then averted his eyes.
"What's your problem, Charles?"
Charles took another swig of beer, trying not to make a face at the bitter taste. "At present, it appears to be you."
"She loves you."
Charles slammed his bottle down. "Look, I'll always be second choice to you! She would have married you if it wasn't for the whole banker's daughter episode!"
"Well, she didn't. And, I wouldn't change the way things turned out for nothing. I have a wife I love and two wonderful children. Jessie never belonged with me or in my world or anything like that. She knows that, and I know that." He pointed at Charles. "It looks like you're the only one that doesn't know that."
Charles tried to ignore him, hoping he'd go away and leave him to drinking himself into a stupor. Then, he wouldn't have to think about living a life without her.
Radar sighed. "You remember when Jessie first arrived in camp, and she was teaching those little Korean girls how to twirl the baton?"
Charles thought, then nodded.
Radar continued. "Remember then one that died on your table?"
Charles closed his eyes, remembering the desperation on Jessie's face.
"After it was over, I asked Jessie why you didn't demand she be demoted after she ran out on you in surgery. And you know what she said? She said, 'Charles isn't such a bad guy. He just forgets sometimes that he's human, along with the rest of us.' You make mistakes. She'll forgive you for thinking whatever it is you were thinking back there, just like you forgave her for running out on her in surgery and for coming back to you on the side of the road and helping you face the Chinese."
"God, she made me so mad when she did that! I told her to go without me!"
Radar smiled. "Go back to her, Charles. She wants to marry you."
Charles glanced over at Radar. "But, she still cares about you."
Radar shook his head, exasperated. "We helped each other through rough times back in Korea. But, that's not something to base an entire lifetime relationship on. It's something to look back fondly on when we're all old and grey, but that's all there is. You can't tell me you haven't had your share of those types of relationships?"
Charles shrugged.
Radar's shoulders fell. "Look, I've gotta go. Mary Anne and the kids will be wondering about me." He offered his hand, surprised when Charles shook it. "Look, from what I remember, she hated Boston. She must love you if she's willing to spend the rest of her life there. But, as long as she has you, she'd probably live in a cardboard box."
Charles watched him go, then settled back against the bar. The bartender wiped his way down to him. "Want another?"
Charles hesitated, then shook his head. "How much do I owe you?"
The bartender shrugged. "Don't worry about it. After the night it appears you had, you could use the break."
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Jessie rocked Daniel in the nursery, humming as music from the party wafted through the open window. Hank, Jr. was already asleep, as well as Meggy. Mattie was going to keep her while Molly and Johnny went on their honeymoon.
Honeymoon.
Neither she nor Charles wanted to leave the country after Korea. They settled on the Rockies. Charles promised he would take care of it.
Something else to cancel, I suppose.
Daniel sighed in his sleep, and Jessie stroked his back, fighting tears. At first she was shocked, then angry. But, as the night wore on, she found herself wondering where Charles was. Was he still angry? Was he lonely? Had he ever really loved her, if he could walk out on her like that?
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Charles leaned in the doorway, hands in the pockets of his rumpled pants, watching her. Eloquent words escaped him as he watched her rock her nephew slowly, absently rubbing David's back as she hummed. The child was curled up in her lap, his head tilted at an impossible angle as he slept. It was a peaceful scene, until she shifted. Charles could see the sheen of tears on her cheeks.
Winchester, you idiot. You caused that.
Quietly, he walked into the room and took the sleeping child from her.
Relief flooded through her that he was OK, and she felt her tears fall faster as she watched him lay David next to his brother on the bed they shared. She turned away, not wanting to wake the children. Charles followed her and softly shut the door behind them.
They faced each other in the dark hallway, the sounds of merriment drifting about them through the open windows. Tenderly, he brushed away the tears that trickled down her cheek.
"I'm sorry, Jessamyn," he whispered simply.
Jessie wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his chest as she cried.
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The last of the guests had finally gone home, and the newlyweds were on their way to Greece. Mattie had checked on the children, who were safely tucked away. Hank had told her, although reluctantly, about the scene on the back porch, and Mattie wondered where Charles and Jessie were. She hadn't seen Jessie since she volunteered to put the children to bed. Charles hadn't been seen since the reception began.
Wearily, Mattie checked Jessie's bedroom. It was empty, clothes still thrown about from their hasty morning preparation.
Neither were they in Charles's guest room. His luggage was missing.
Mattie sighed hugely as her husband followed her into the hall. "I think you might have to rescue Mr. Callahan's car. And, we've got to find Miss Jessie. We're goin' have a wedding to cancel tomorrow."
Arthur shook his head. "Follow me, hon. I want to show you something."
The crept downstairs, Mattie curiously wondering what was going on.
Arthur put his finger to his lips, then opened the parlor door slowly. Mattie peered inside.
Charles was sitting with his back in the corner of the couch, one leg stretched out in front of him. Jessie, her legs tucked underneath herself, was snuggled against him, her head lying on his chest. He had his cheek leaned on the top of her head. Both of them were still wearing their clothes from the wedding. And they were both sound asleep.
Arthur smiled at his wife as he quietly shut the door. "Already made up, haven't they?"
Mattie couldn't help but return his smile. "Thank goodness! I didn't want to mail all these gifts back to where they came from!"