AN: Thanks to all the reviewers who have reviewed my story I've tried to keep my updates on a once weekly schedule however I will not rush a chapter if I don't have the muse to write it so you can be assured a good read every time. I wanted to switch things up so this chapter is a very deep and emotional piece from the mind of Ms. Knight. Please Read,Review, and Enjoy.
Ch.3 Seamstress for The Band
Ms. Knight
Here I am, still kicking,Alive, Breathing; I haven't let things destroy me yet. It's a scary world I'm living in, I never thought the past could come back to bite us, I thought he was gone for good. I never thought he would come back and try to be a part of our lives again, the divorce was enough of a stress on me Kendall was only five, he didn't know what was going on. What a man like his father could do, and what I couldn't do to protect my child, it made me weak. Still here I was the loving mother following them all the way to Los Angeles, on tour, never letting them out of my sight to make sure nothing like it ever happened to my only son again. I thought if I never told him, if we never brought it up he'd forget. He never spoke about it since the divorce maybe then he had forgotten. Still just because something is forgotten doesn't mean it never existed, it doesn't erase what happened. It can never be erased. I sighed rolling over in the bed of the apartment I shared with Katie and Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos were in the apartment next door. I could hear Katie sleeping quietly in the room across the hall, Kendall's snores however were absent, the whole building was quiet except for the couple downstairs fighting again. I shook my head,and stood up going into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee. I sat down on the couch in the living room coffee in hand, looking up at the pictures I had placed on the wall above the TV in trying to make the apartment a home. We had to blend in, pretend we were normal, cover up the scars of yesterday and the things that made us insane. I stood placing the coffee cup down on the table and sat down in front of the TV rearranging the movies in the entertainment center by alphabetical order. Putting things in their proper order was always something that helped to calm me down when things started to go wrong. I must have dozed off on the floor of the living room because I awoke to a splash of light on my face and the sound of the alarm clock in my room. I stood and shoved the rest of the movies back on the shelf before walking to my bedroom to turn the alarm off. There was no sun in the early morning sky, and the usual clouds and falling snow greeted my eyes as I peeked out of the curtains I sighed before walking to Kendall's room and knocking on the door.
" Kendall, Honey wake up and get ready for school" I said walking into the kitchen to make him something to eat. I fired up the old gas stove lighting the burner with a match trying not to singe my fingertips. In a few moments the house was filled with the smell of french toast and sausage. I smiled as Kendall entered the kitchen pretending to rub sleep from his eyes and presenting him with a plate of the just cooked breakfast and some orange juice. I then walked to Katie's bedroom and woke her up. Kendall didn't eat much at all from his plate but I didn't wish to bother him about it. He hasn't eaten well in a while, but he'll be alright I guess as long as he stays hydrated. I placed the dishes in the sink and went into the bathroom to get ready for work. I showered and blow-dried my hair then put on my makeup and went to my room. I selected forth from my dresser a pair of navy pants and a white blouse with a nice beige scarf. I placed on some black two inch heeled boots and threw on my white peacoat. We got into the car and drove to school to drop of Katie first, and then Kendall. I felt terrible on the way to the high school, Kendall didn't say anything, his eyes looked distant and glazed out. He opened the door, and I looked at him as he grabbed his bag to leave " have everything?" I asked, and he nodded. " You know I love you Kendall" I said he nodded again not responding and slammed the door. Where had I failed as a mother? I asked myself driving towards the office where I worked as a secretary downtown...