Because of you

Chapter 5

I didn't know what to do. I just curled myself into a ball and sobbed. The pain was calming down but it was still there. Why had I even been so stupid as to let him drive me home in the first place? I didn't even know him. Shane was right; I should have gone home. I then heard frantic knocking on my door. "Mitchie? is everything ok?" came a loud worried voice.

I gulped and turned my head so I was looking at the door. I didn't answer him; I just stared. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't tell him, but I didn't want to lie, I had been doing enough of that my whole life. I tried to tune out his voice; I didn't want to face anyone. I felt so disgusting.

I slipped into the en-suite bathroom and switched on the shower. I slipped out of my torn clothes and climbed inside. The hot water felt like it was slashing against my skin. I gasped a few times when it hit a cold part of my back. I just wanted to feel clean again. I then started to cry once more. I hated crying, it showed my weakness, ever since my dad saw me cry and beat me until I was almost broken, I have tried my hardest not too, I don't want someone to hit me. I was lucky no one could see me now. They would laugh in my face, they would feel pity towards me, and that's the last thing I want.

As I sat on my bed with a towel wrapped firmly around me I began to think. I had to get away. I couldn't stay in this town any longer, I had to leave, find a fresh start, somewhere where I can start all over again. I needed to forget everything. I was stupid to think that I could be ok living here; I should have just left straight away.

I waited until 2am to start packing my things. Shane was obviously asleep because I could hear his loud snores through the thin walls. I smiled slightly to myself as I slung all my clothes into the bags I had brought here. I carefully dragged them into the living room. Pulling on my jacket and shoes I took one last look around. I decided to leave a note. I saw on the coffee table a little piece of paper and a pen. I bent down and wrote on it.

Im sorry

I stood up, grabbed my bags and dragged them out; I closed the door gently before I walked as fast as I could out of the apartment building. My thoughts didn't leave Shane though. I honestly thought we could try again. but somewhere deep down I knew things wouldn't be the same and he would forgive me for what I did straight away, but that didn't stop me hoping things would be different. I wanted things to be different, I really did, I wanted us to be the old Mitchie and Shane, the couple people thought were perfect for each other, the couple that were smitten with each other and only each other. Those memories are the ones that haunt me the most. I hated myself for ruining all of that, if I had let him help me, we might still be together now, and he might still love me. I should have told him how I felt when we were together, I always felt like slapping myself when he told me he loved me and I just smiled and said 'you too'. I wanted with everything in me to say it back, I really did, but like I said, I was always scared. My thoughts about Shane were then replaced with school. What was I going to do about that, and where was I going. I hadn't had time to really think about what I was going to do. I didn't have a car. I only had a couple grand in the ban from when my mom died, so I didn't know how I was going to survive for long.

As I sat on the curb for a while things began to fall into place. I was going to go to New York. I had always wanted to go there, and jobs were good there, so I would get a small apartment until I was firmly on my feet. I would also attend a local school there. Now to think about transport. I flicked through my phone searching for someone I could call. Soon I fell upon a name I knew would help me out. They always had. I pressed the green button and waited for them to answer.

"Hello?" he answered in a hoarse voice. I then remembered it was like 2 30 in the morning. A wave of guilt washed over me. I was thinking of hanging up when I realised how much I needed help.

"Is this Nate?" I asked in a whisper. My heart was racing at a million miles an hour. I wonder if he was mad at me for treating his brother the way I did. I hope he wasn't, Nate and me had been close at camp, we were best friends, we were there for each other. I helped him get with Caitlyn but they decided it would be better being friends. Well he did, she was devastated because she really did love him.

"Yes, and whoever this is you are aware that it is 2 am right" he hissed in a low voice. I winced slightly.

I paused before answering, should I really be doing this? I mean, of all people, I was going to Nate, Shane's brother. "It's Mitchie" I whispered back as I closed my eyes. I was actually waiting for him to hang up.

"Mitchie?" he yelled, sounding more awake. I let out a small sigh of relief that he didn't end the call. I just hoped he would actually help me.

"Hey Nate, do you think you could help me?" I asked nervously. I mean, I hadn't seen him in so long either and now I was just asking him to do me a favour. I was being selfish, but I had to get away.

"Of course" he said hastily. "I've missed you Mitch, how have you been" he asked sounding happy.

"We'll talk later" I said. "Could you come pick me up from your brothers bank, I kind of need yo to drive me to the bank then to the airport" I said. My voice was thick with tears. I swallowed again and waited for his answer.

"Sure, I'll be there in ten minutes" he said in a low voice. I muttered a thank you before pressing the end call button. I stared at my screen. It was a picture of Caitlyn and me, back when the smile I had on my face was real and not forced. Caitlyn. What was I going to tell her? I hesitated before I opened a new message on my phone. I spent a few minutes about thinking what to put to her, until I finally decided what to put.

Bye Caity, im sorry.

I pressed send and let a few tears fall as a little buzz erupted my phone, informing me that it had been sent. I wanted to write more but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything else. I had let her down so many times and I didn't want to do it again.

Just like he said, Nate got here in the space of ten minutes. I saw a smile creep onto his face as he saw me, I forced him a smile as I stood up. He ran out of the car and engulfed me into his arm. I flinched slightly at how tight he was holding me. he pulled away and looked at me with a bright smile. "It's great to see you Mitch, here I'll get those" he said as he took the bags from me an dumped them into his large car. I smiled a small smile as I saw the curly haired boy climb into the drivers seat; it was good to see him again. I slipped into the passenger seat and kept my gaze on the road. "So, how have you been?" he asked as he stole a quick glance before his eyes were back on the road.

I shrugged. "I've been ok, how about you?" I asked. More guilt. More lies. Why did I keep doing this?

Another smile. "I've been great, everything's great, we just finished our world tour, im glad we have some time off" he said with a little excitement. He then looked at me. "Answer me something" he asked. I nodded and waited for him to speak. "Why did you call me so late and why do you need to go to the airport"

I sighed and waited for a few moments before I answered him. I jumped into the story I had told Shane. As I spoke Nate had pretty much the same reaction as Shane. His face clouded over with horror, his lips parted in shock and he just stared at me, never saying a word. I told him about what happened tonight and his eyes glistened with fury. He asked me who but I lied and told him I didn't know. That was one thing I never wanted to speak about again. that completely shattered my trust for men. But I knew Nate, he would never do that. I knew Shane wouldn't either, but I just couldn't stay here.

"Mitchie, im so sorry, does Shane know?" he asked in a hushed tone.

I sighed. "He knows about everything except for the rape, and its going to stay that way, I don't want him finding out, and I don't want him finding me, so you have to promise not to tell anyone Nate, not even Caitlyn, please" I begged. Tear was already rolling down my cheeks as I spoke. It was like I couldn't control them now.

He sighed gripping onto the steering wheel a little tighter. He closed his eyes for a fraction of a second in thought before answering. "Fine, but why are you running away?"

I shrugged. "It's something im good at" I said in a whisper. In fact, it was probably what I was best a really. I ran away form everything, the people who cared about me, my fears, just everything. And now, im running away from home, to a whole new city. Nate was quiet the ride to the bank and the ride to the airport. Only when we arrived did he speak. "Did you want me to wait with you until you board your plane?" he asked softly.

I nodded. "Yes please" I said as I hopped out of the car. I slung my bags onto a luggage cart and wheeled them into the airport, Nate followed closely behind me. When we got to the main part I looked up at the large boards to see when the next plane to New York was flying out, the next one was in two hours.

After I had booked my flight and everything, Nate and me were sitting down talking. "Why aren't you telling Shane your leaving?" he asked in confusion. I looked at him, my eyes glassy.

"Because" I began "It's easier this way, I've caused him enough trouble, I'll be out of his way for good now, and he can have a nice happy life, with his girlfriend" I managed to choke out the last bit. The thought of Shane with someone else made my chest ache. Nate sighed and looked at me with sorry eyes.

"Did you ever think that Shane might still care about you, like he used to" he said. I looked at him, I had thought about it, but my thoughts were demolished when he introduced me to her. When I shook my head he sighed. "Well he does, he never stopped loving you Mitch, sure he was angry as hell at you but that didn't change how he felt, you should have at least told him"

I shook my head and blinked back the tears. "He doesn't love me Nate, I know he doesn't, please don't lie to me" I pleaded as I closed my eyes. He sighed but nodded not saying another word. As we waited in silence I kept checking my phone. About 30 minutes before I was scheduled to be boarding the plane, I switched off my phone and threw it in the trashcan. Nate looked at me with raised eyebrows but all I did was shrug.

When my flight was finally called I turned to Nate. "Thank you for everything, I'll miss you" I said as I hugged him lightly. He rubbed circles in my back before pulling away and looking at me with a genuine smile.

"Be careful, New York's a big place, don't get lost" he said with an amused smirk. I stifled out a small laugh.

"Good luck with your Music" I said before picking up my carry luggage and walking towards the gates. I turned around just before I went through and gave a small wave to Nate. He waved back before walking out. I took one last look before walking through the gates and into my new life.

hope you liked this chapter :) sorry i didn't upload when i was supposed to, but here you are. can i get a few reviews before i upload the next part :) and trust me the story gets better, just keep reading.