Because of you

Chapter 8

"Hello Mitchie"

My head snapped up and I felt my whole body tense. My lips parted as I looked at the person. One word escaping my lips.

"Shit"

As I watched a smirk crawl onto her skin I fought the urge to roll my eyes. But then I realised how serious this situation was. It was Sylvia. Shane's girlfriend. I was screwed. She folded her arms over her perfectly formed chest and tapped her fingers while she watched me. she was enjoying this.

"It's so nice to see you" she said sarcastically as she placed her hand over her heart. This time I did roll my eyes. It took everything not to pounce at her as she smirked again, what the hell did Shane see in this bitch. He used to have taste. Obviously not anymore.

"What are you doing here?" I questioned as my eyes narrowed. She obviously wasn't just here for a little trip. My voice was merely a whisper as I felt my voice thicken with the tears I was trying so hard not to let drop.

She smiled evilly. "Didn't you hear? The boys are on tour here and im with them, there just out there signing autographs, they should be in here any minute" she said as she licked her lips. My eyes widened and I felt my heart pick pace. Oh god they were going to see me, Shane was going to see me.

She leaned across the counter with a devilish smile. "I know Shane is so excited to see you". Her mouth twitched telling me that she was fighting the urge to laugh.

I knew what she meant. He wasn't excited to see me, He was angry at me, furious, she would love seeing him scream and shout at me, she would have great joy at seeing me cry over him. I sighed, calming myself. What was I going to do? I couldn't stay here. I couldn't face him, not now, not after everything I had done to him. He no doubt hated me now. And once again, he had every damn right too.

"I have to go," I muttered as I rushed out back. My heart felt like it was in my throat and I had a sudden rush of nausea, I clutched my stomach and I staggered over to Trish.

Trish looked at me in alarm as I skidded to a halt. "Whoa what's wrong?" she asked as she placed her hands on my shoulders, her eyes scanning my face looking for an answer.

I shook my head. "I have to go, could you cover for me please?" I begged as I looked at her with watery eyes.

She looked almost frightened. "Mitchie, what's going on?" she asked me, dragging out every word painfully slow, I needed to get out of here and I didn't have time to explain, not now, maybe not ever.

I sighed and shook my head. "I'll explain another time ok, just cover for me please, say I was sick and couldn't stay here because I don't know, erm, the smell of coffee set me off! Yeah say that, ok see you tomorrow" I said all in one go as I ripped off my apron, grabbed my bag and dashed out of the back.

But of course with my luck, I didn't go unnoticed. She had of course told him I was here because he was standing a few feet in front of me. The way he was looking at me made me want to sink into the ground. The pain in his eyes made me flood with guilt. I had caused this. He looked so different as well, his usually neat sexy hair was a mess, strands were sticking to his forehead. His face seemed pale compared to his normally tanned self. And the hatred so obviously written on his face. It was unbearable.

I just turned around and started walking away as fast as I could manage. But that didn't stop him following. I was thankful that paparazzi weren't around. They would have made such a story out of this. I shook away my thoughts and concentrated on my feet. I didn't dare turn around because I was afraid that I would stop if I did. And I didn't want that.

Before I could run into my apartment Shane grabbed my arm, preventing me from going anywhere. "Stop running" he said in a husky voice. This time I met his eyes as I saw the wetness of them. He could not be crying, I felt a sudden rush of hate towards myself, those beautiful eyes should not be crying. And it should not be because of me, I had caused enough pain to people and I wanted it to stop, but it seemed that pain seemed to be everywhere around me.

I shivered and turned my head because I knew if looked into his eyes I would break down. I just pulled my arm out of his grip and opened my door. I left it open for him to come in and he did, but he hesitated at first, watching after me. as I heard the door shut I closed my eyes and waited for him to approach. When he did I sucked in a breath as I felt his cold hands touch my shoulders. I then walked away and over to my couch where he closely followed behind me.

As I finally looked into his eyes, I saw nothing but agony and anger.

He let out an exasperated breath as he ran his hands over his face. "Do you have any idea what you do to me Mitchie" he whispered through his teeth. I swallowed back my tears as I looked at his flushed face. When I didn't answer he spoke again. "You drive me fucking crazy, im loosing my mind," he said as he shook his head. I blinked and watched as he stood up and began to pace the room. "Why would you leave like that? I was worried sick, I thought the worst, I thought your dad had-" he stopped before he finished. To be honest he didn't need to finish because I knew what he was going to say. He was going to say he thought my dad killed me. It was understandable. He sighed again this time louder. "Why would you leave like that Mitch? What did I do?" he had never sounded so venerable and I couldn't help but wince and let a few tears fall.

"You didn't do anything," I whispered as the tears that I had been so desperately trying to keep away fell. Fast.

"Then why did you leave!" he yelled. And as I looked at him I saw tears running down his cheeks. His eyes were like a childs when they found out that santa wasn't real. Cold and distant. I wanted to rush up to him and kiss away his tears.

But all I did was bow my head. "I couldn't do it anymore" I said in a hushed tone. Tears were now flowing down my face at an alarming rate. I felt the urge to have a cigarette but Shane hated smoking so I pushed it to the side.

"Couldn't do what?" he yelled again. I winced at his voice. It reminded me of my fathers when he would scream at me, but it wasn't as bad and I knew he would never hurt me so that calmed me slightly.

I then felt a rush of anger. "Everything Shane! I couldn't take life there anymore, I had to get away from it all, everything reminded me of home and I hated that!" I screamed as I stood up and got in his face, my cheats was heaving as I my breaths were coming out slow and deep. His eyes softened slightly as he sighed.

"Im sorry Mitchie" he whispered as he lowered his head. I felt my feet drag me forward a little more until I was right in front of him. I touched his arm and his head snapped up so his eyes locked with mine. They were wide for a second before they softened. "Im sorry" he repeated.

I shook my head and sighed. "It's not your fault," I murmured. "I just couldn't stay there Shane, I had to start fresh" I informed him. He nodded and sat down, pulling me onto his lap. I fidgeted slightly; I felt my cheeks flush with colour as he traced circles on my back as she watched me.

"We could have started fresh together" he said softly as he brushed his finger down my face but then he snapped it back and gently pushed me from his lap. I watched him carefully as he turned away from me and walked into the kitchen. I slowly stood up and followed him. he was breathing deeply and clutching onto the kitchen counter. "I promised myself," he said as he laughed with no humour.

I touched his back and I felt him tense so I pulled away. "What are you talking about?" I asked confused. He looked so upset. I wanted to know what he was talking about.

He turned around and looked at me with watering eyes. "I promised myself I wouldn't fall for you again," he said simply as his eyes burned with something, but I wasn't sure. I didn't know if it was love or hate. I felt my heart pick up again. Did he mean that he still loved me or that he had started to love me again? I hoped he had but in a way, I didn't want him to.

"And now?" I questioned as I watched his reaction. He stood there motionless for a few moments. He sighed and leant against the counter with his arms crossed. He sighed over and over again but it took him several minutes to talk.

He shook his head. "I broke my promise" he said as he looked at me with a lopsided grin. I smiled back slightly as my eyes clouded with tears, this time they were from happiness. But then my smile disappeared as one thought crossed my mind. Sylvia. I sighed and backed away slightly. He watched me with confusion and curiosity. "What's wrong?" he asked as he came towards me.

I held my hand up. "You have a girlfriend Shane, you should just stay with her, she probably makes you happier than I ever could" I said as I bit down on my lip. When I heard his soft chuckle I looked up at him confused. I thought he was going to tell me that I had got it all wrong, that he didn't really love me. I braced myself.

He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my small waist. "Mitch, you drive me insane, your unstable, you have issues, you infuriate me and you make me want to rip my hair out" he said. I listened to him and nodded my head in sadness. He lifted my chin. "But I love you anyway"

I felt excitement over power every emotion that I was feeling. I threw my arms around his neck and nuzzled into the crook of his neck. "I love you Shane" I whispered as I pressed my lips to his neck softly. I actually felt the happiness flood through me.

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