I have failed my readers. I have no excuses. I am deeply sorry...all I can tell you is that New Manager and Fears are not discontinued I will keep writing them until they are completed.
Disclaimer: I am fresh out of clever so I'll just say: No, I don't own it.
After Deidara explained it seemed as if time had stopped.
Sasori was no stranger due to the fact Deidara had brought him along during some of their group outings, attempting to extract some kind of approval from his friends. So they had become 'acquaintances' with the redhead to appease the blonde. So for him to be hurt...it wasn't news they took very well, because, even though Hidan would never admit it, he had become oddly attached to the puppeteer.
After a moment of silence Kisame suggested they go, or rather informed the blonde he would be dragging him no matter what, to the hospital. The blonde had chickened out of seeing Sasori in a weakened state, thus leaving the hospital immediately after the redhead had gone into surgery. While this was rather irresponsible, Kisame understood. The young artist was practically dead to the world upon seeing his his ex-lover being rolled into the ER.
But now that Deidara had recovered a considerable amount he shakily agreed to venture to the hospital, still feeling apprehensive about seeing Sasori pale, unconscious, and possibly still in critical condition.
So there they sat. Deidara down the hallway talking to the Doctor, Kisame clutching Itachi's hand for comfort, and Hidan fidgeting awkwardly as he sat next to Kakuzu. They had just started dating and the older man is already seeing how fucked up things around him always seem to get. Fantastic.
"Hidan," the brunette started softly, quietly. His deep voice drawing fuschia eyes to look at his green ones.
"Stop worrying." the albino simply stared for a moment, pondering how he could cleverly deny having any feeling towards the situation. He decided on:
"I'm not worried, dammit."Kakuzu frowned.
"Don't do that." He would have asked "Don't do fucking what?" but as he felt a strong arm pull him into an embrace he could kinda guess it was something along the lines of:
'Don't lie about your feelings, idiot.'
Only one date and he can already tell what the miser is thinking...creepy, but somehow comforting. He wasn't used to relying on someone else, especially not a manthat he had hated with a passion just a week or so ago.
Despite the foreignness of the situation Hidan allowed himself to stay in this position, curled onto his boyfriend's lap with arms wrapped around a strong torso, until he heard footsteps quickly heading in their direction.
He barely made out Deidara running by, an arm slung across his eyes, sobbing echoing off the cold, white walls. The albino stood to go after him without hesitation but was stopped by a large tan hand on his wrist, when he turned to argue he saw an apologetic looking man in a white coat standing in front of Kakuzu.
"Are you friends of Akasuna Sasori?" he asked the group of four, as Itachi and Kisame had walked over when they had seen the Doctor approaching.
They all nodded, quietly praying to themselves that the news would be of a good nature, though none seemed to hold very much hope due to Dei's reaction.
Later on, a solemn Hidan found Deidara in a small park beside the hospital.
Everyone in the group, though somewhat hesitantly, decided it would be best for Hidan to talk to the young artist.
Upon joining the blonde on a park-bench they sat in silence, listening to the happy chirp of birds and feeling the soft caress of wind. Neither daring eye contact for the fear of crying.
It felt so conflicting. How could the weather be so calm and mild when their emotions were swirling like tornado's?
Taking a deep breath, Hidan finally managed to speak.
"He won't blame you, Deidara. No-one will. Shit happens, it was an accident, Sasori knows that." the artist moved to stare at his pale hands, eyes gaining a distant quality.
"I called him emotionless, accused him of not loving me when I was the one neglecting our relationship, un." a humorless laugh escaped his lips "Even...even if he forgives me, Hidan, how can I forgive myself? It's my fault this happened." the albino considered this a moment.
Comforting was never his strong point but, being pissed at yourself? He had plenty of experience with that.
"You don't." Deidara frowned, but stayed quiet.
"No-one gets through life without regrets, without hating yourself at one point or another. 'Cuz let's be honest, we're all stupid little fuckers that make too many mistakes." this, unsurprisingly, didn't really seem to comfort the blonde.
"Hidan, I-"
"That's why, when I hated myself the most, I changed. Remember? After my parents died I was sent to my uncle's house, when I came back here the next summer you didn't even fucking recognize me."
The blonde looked up to Hidan and gave a fond smile at the memory. He had counted the days until his best friend would follow through on his promise that:
'As soon as I'm fucking 18 I'll be back here and out of the hell-hole that bastard calls a house.'
'That bastard' is of course referring to Hidan's uncle, who happened to be rather wealthy...along with being rather holier-than-thou towards the poor. That's why Hidan hated him, for looking down on his parents.
Seeing the once scrawny, pants-hanging-too-low, hair messily falling into his eyes, Hidan walk up with just-noticeable muscle rippling underneath pale skin, short silver hair slicked back barely enough to keep it in place without looking stiff or unnatural, and new, close-fitting clothes accenting his figure...well let's just say his jaw almost hit the floor.
Deidara never questioned why exactly the drastic change had occurred. He had just assumed Hidan's
Uncle wanted him to look more...presentable.
"Yeah, un...that was a long time ago." a frown formed on the albino's face.
"I was a dumb fucker back then, but I knew I didn't want to see that worthless little shit staring at me in the mirror anymore." that summer at his Uncle's Hidan found out a lot about himself.
He had known somewhere deep in the depths of his mind that he was hiding behind the foul language and defiant behavior. He had known he wasn't "sticking it to the man" by barely getting through high-school, he was running from having responsibilities, expectations.
By setting the standard pathetically low he never felt he had to live up to anyone's expectations, not even his own.
He had known screwing around with any slut that wouldn't try to change him was a waste of time, but it protected him from making commitments, from letting anyone get too close.
He had known and still decided to run. He kept running until the day he actually saw himself.
Fuck his Uncle's therapy sessions, they ruined his, what he believed to be, carefree lifestyle. They made him see how pathetic he was.
"Hidan, you're not worthl-" Dei was silenced by the pure regret radiating in fuschia eyes.
"My parents asked me to get a job, Dei, so that I could help pay the bills so we could get by...they were both working two jobs, trying to pay for my education, saving up so I could go to college. I told them that I didn't fucking want to. I thought it was their fucking purpose to fund my stupid fucking ass, that I shouldn't have to help them." a shaky breath.
"I asked for money all the time, to buy my shit. My old man had to work overtime whenever he could...he was so exhausted from working 24/7 he fell asleep at the wheel, killing em' both. I didn't realize I loved my parents until I was standing in front of their coffins."
"But, you were a kid...you couldn't have known, un."
"No, I could have. I just didn't want to know. I was young, they pay young fuckers well to haul boxes and shit at construction sites, warehouses...they could still be alive, Dei." the blonde was at a loss for words, so instead he wrapped a cold hand around Hidan's, offering the comfort of a friend, and squeezed lightly.
The unspoken 'I'm sorry I didn't noticed back then.' lingered between them for awhile.
Before too long the albino let a small smile grace his features.
"I know I still get drunk on a regular basis, but at least I'm working, paying my own way. No-one is going to pay for my lazy ass again. That's why I changed, so that the face in the mirror wasn't the same face that killed my parents." Deidara smiled and lifted their joined hands, tightening his grip.
Hidan has always been his best friend. The person he always least expects to say the right thing, yet he always does.
There was a short time he was convinced they were perfect for eachother, but the warmth he found in Sasori was vastly different, a warmth he needs just as much as the support he has in Hidan.
"Thanks, Hidan, un. I'm gonna be different when Sasori wakes up, I'll convince him to give me a second chance." the seriousness in the blonde's voice made Hidan laugh.
"I don't think it'll take much convincing." They both smiled, the heavy mood finally lifted. Though the albino was puzzled as to why a moment later the artist started giggling and promptly released his hand.
"Dei? What the fuck is wrong with you?" the giggles ceased and made way for a poorly hidden smile.
"I don't want Kakuzu to beat me up for making the moves on his bitch, un." Hidan wasn't exactly sure which thing clicked first, the fact that Deidara just called him the girl in the relationship, or that Kakuzu was standing right behind the bench they were seated on.
Hidan was about to make some snarky comeback when his best friend started flying...er...was lifted, by his new lover, over the back of the bench and set down in front of Itachi and Kisame, who seemed to have appeared out of the same black hole Kakuzu came out of.
"Touching as it was watching you guys emit pink bubbles and glitter, our backs were starting to hurt from crouching in the bushes...and this guy," Kisame jabbed his thumb in Kakuzu's direction "was getting rather...moody watching you play kissy face with Dei." Hidan sprung to his feet.
"What the fuck! How long were you bastards listening?" the albino asked incredulously, jabbing an accusatory finger towards the eavesdropper's. All that emotional shit was not meant for all these ears.
Kisame seemed to ponder this.
"I'd say a whole...two minutes." he said matter-of-factly. A fuschia eye twitched.
"two...I thought your back fucking hurt?" the blue man chuckled, somewhat embarrassed.
"Well, I am getting old..." Hidan opened his mouth to say something but he was slung over a tan shoulder before the words could come out.
"I believe Kisame and Deidara have a few matters to discuss." and with that his friends started to get farther and farther away, he saw the youngest of the three smile and wave. Hidan's cheeks stained red when an all too amused:
"Enjoy the sex, un!" was yelled across the park.
"Shut up, Blondie!" was screamed back, all he got in return was hysterical laughter. He would have been more infuriated if he could see the smirk that had settled on his boyfriend's face.
Though, the thought of sex made up for the complete embarrassment...for now.
2,000 words of I'm sorry, I've missed these character's dearly and I hope you can all forgive me for my negligence..and though I don't really deserve them:
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