Because of You

Chapter 16

"Can you repeat that?" I asked numbly. "I don't think I heard you right" I told her. I think I did, but I didn't want to believe it, maybe she had said it wrong, he couldn't be the father, how was it even possible, she told me it was from a fling she had with a guy from a club, and as for Shane, he had a freaking purity ring.

She nodded, not meeting my eyes. "You heard it right" she whispered. "Shane is the father" she told me. I fell back in my chair as my heart thudded in my ear. I looked at her and I felt nothing but disgust towards her, my best friend, the one I love, together. They were in it for life now; they were bringing a baby into the world. I shook my head as tears fell surprisingly fast.

"You lied to me" I whispered as I closed my eyes. "I let you stay here, I was there for you and all this time you knew it was Shane's" I hissed. "Why didn't you tell me" I yelled, my anger reaching it's boiling point.

"Im sorry" she sobbed. "I didn't want to hurt you" she pleaded.

I scoffed. "Well, that's really working out for you isn't it Caitlyn" I spat. "Im not hurt at all, im fucking over the moon" I laughed harshly as I ripped myself from the couch and stormed over to the front door. I yanked it open and was about to walk out, but Shane was there, hand mid-air. He laughed slightly but his face fell when he saw the tears falling from my eyes.

"Mitchie?" he asked.

I looked at Caitlyn. "Oh look, Shane's here, now we're all one big family," I chanted. I then looked at Shane, feeling the same disgust as I did with Caitlyn. "Congratulations Shane, you're going to be a dad" I spat out.

His eyes widened as he tried to take one of my hands. "Mitchie Please, let me explain"

I shook my head and pulled my hand away, pushing past him and running as fast as I could away from him. His voice echoed behind me and I could hear his loud footsteps. I ran as fast as I could away from him but it didn't work because as soon as my feet touched the sidewalk his hand was wrapped around my wrist. I tried with all my strength to pull away from him but he pulled me down an alley and pressed me against the wall. "Let me go" I spat.

He shook his head. "Just please, let me explain" he begged.

"Ok Explain" I raised my eyebrows and his face dropped slightly.

"Erm well" he paused. "About a month ago, I was slightly drunk, and erm" he bit his lip. "And Caitlyn was there, it just, happened, me and her"

"Well that clears up everything" I spat as I tried to push him off me; it didn't work to well though, he had a firm grip on my waist. Tears continued to run down her face as she watched him open his mouth and shut it over again, debating what to say.

"It meant nothing" he tried to reason with her.

She just shook her head. "It doesn't matter, you still did it Shane" I tried to push him away again but he didn't let me. "Get the fuck off me" I growled as I pushed against his chest.

"Mitchie, we need to talk about this, I don't want to leave us like this" he begged, his hazel eyes gleaming.

"Ok" I began. "I was going to tell you how I really felt Shane, after all this time of being scared to admit how I really felt, I was finally going to confess that, I love you Shane, more than I have ever loved someone in my whole life" I sniffed. "But when Caitlyn told me about you and her, the love I felt for you was pushed to the side and all I felt was hatred for you and her" I looked up at him. "I never want to see you again" I whispered as I pushed one more time, it seemed to work as he stumbled back, I took the chance and dashed to the sidewalk and stuck my hand in the air for a cab.

"Mitchie" he called out. "You said you could never hate me!" he yelled after me, his large hands grabbed onto my arm. "You said!" he had tears of his own now, but they were hard to tell as it was raining heavily.

I yanked away. "Well I lied" I screamed through my tears. "I hate you Shane," I sobbed, my voice venomous. "I HATE YOU," I shrieked while I kept pounding his chest. A taxi then pulled up at the curb and I jumped inside before he could say anything, leaving him out in the pelting rain. I dropped my head against the window and cried. I felt sorry for the Driver; he looked very awkward as he kept looking back at me sobbing.

"Erm, where to dear" he asked softly, his voice full of sympathy.

I sniffed loudly. "29 baker's road please" I croaked. My throat was in agony as I tried to steady my breathing, it wasn't working very well as I sounded like I was chocking. Once the cab stopped, I handed him the money and ran out of cab to avoid getting even more wet. Pounding on the door I waited impatiently. "Come on" I muttered as I knocked on the door again, but she didn't answer. I groaned and slumped down on the step. I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. I looked forward; watching as people without umbrella ran through the rain, laughed, smiled, and chatted to their friends. I wanted to be that happy again, I thought I could find happiness again, I felt like I was getting there, but something always seems to jump in and cause a bump in the road, a bump so big that it steers me right of the path to happiness. I didn't like feeling like this, it hurt, more than I could ever describe through words, but I could tell you this, walking away from Shane had been the hardest thing I had ever done. I knew loving him was never going to be easy, but I never knew it would be this painful. I think at this moment in time I had never missed my mom more, you normally go to your mom and cry when you experience your first heart break, but if I wanted to talk to her, I would have to go all the way to California, and I would have to talk to a lump of stone, but at least I would be close to her.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands and bit down on my lip. I was so stupid to think that he really felt the same about me, to think he could ever feel that way about me again, after what I did to him. hold on, I shouldn't be blaming myself here, he was the one that slept with my best friend, he was the one to blame. I dug my hands into my pocket and pulled out a crinkled up cigarette, I then stuck my hand in the other and pulled out a lighter, I silently thanked god. I knew I was trying to quit, but I was awful at handling stress, so I turned to these things. I placed the stick between my lip, lit it and took a long harsh drag, flicking the ash to the side after.

It took what felt like forever for Amy to finally get home. When she saw me, confusion struck her features; they then softened when she saw the countless tears streaming down my cheeks. "Mitchie? What's wrong?" she asked, sitting down on the step next to me.

I sniffed. "Shane's the dad" my voice was raspy as I rubbed my nose. Amy looked at me strangely, indicating she didn't know what I was talking about. "He's the father of Caitlyn's baby"

Her eye widened and her face dropped. "You're fucking kidding me right"

I sighed. "I really wish I was Amy, I really do". I let a small whimper escape from my cold lips as Amy wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "im so stupid Amy" I cried into her shoulder.

She shook her head. "No you are not Mitchie, you didn't know, they are in the wrong here, not you"

"I know they are, I just want to punch her in the face but I cant" I said. "You can't hit pregnant women," I mumbled. I felt Amy chuckle a little and I found myself smiling.

"Doesn't mean you can't hit Shane," she reasoned. "I could always do it for you, I'd love to kick the bastard in his precious balls for breaking your heart" she said angrily, but a hint of amusement in her voice. "Come on" she said nudging my side. "Let's get you inside" she pulled me up by my hand and opened up her door, leading me inside. We sat down on the couch and she looked at me with soft eyes. "What does Nate think"

my eyes widened. "He doesn't know" I whispered. "How am I going to tell him Amy, he is going to be devastated" I dropped my head in my hands and shook it.

"You have to tell him though" Amy patted my back.

I groaned. "I can't exactly tell him over the phone, that's just awful"

"What about, web chat or something" she suggested. I looked at her like she was crazy. "Ok so that's also a bad idea, hey, im only trying to help" she defended.

I sighed. "I know, I guess, I'll have to wait until he comes down to pick up Shane, which is in two days I think because that's when they leave on tour" I told her.

"They're going on tour?" she asked. I nodded and she looked a little sad. "Oh"

"You like Nate don't you Amy" it was a random question but I had a strong feeling she did.

She blushed. "Honestly?" she asked, I nodded. She sighed. "I don't know Mitch, I mean, we have been talking a bit over the phone, I mean, last night I was up till like 3 am talking to him, but he still loves Caitlyn, and I still love Brad, don't even ask me why because I seriously don't know, I just, don't want to rush into things with him and possibly ruin what could be a really good friendship" she told me wisely.

I smiled at my friend in admiration. "You're really wonderful Amy, and Nate would be the luckiest guy on earth if he were to be with you" she smiled and pulled me into her arms. I pressed my head just above her collarbone and sighed. "Why does everything always have to be so hard Amy, goodbye's especially"

"I don't know Honey" she answered. "Goodbye's are only hard if you really care about that person, saying goodbye to Shane was hard for you because you love him more than you realise" she told me. I looked up at her and she smiled. "I've seen the way you look at each other, trust me, there is some sexual frustration going on" she giggled.

"Shut up! He wears a pur-" I stopped myself short, I guess, I could use that excuse anymore, he had broken his promise to god so he didn't need to wear it anymore, yet he had been for the past month. "Well, doesn't matter anymore, he's already lost his virginity to Caitlyn" I sighed. "I don't ever want to see him again Amy" I snivelled loudly.

She sighed. "I know Mitchie" she stroked my tangled hair. "I don't want to see him either, because if I do, I will have the strong urge to severely hurt the boy," she threatened.

"I'll help" I huffed out, dropping my head back on her shoulder and closing my eyes, a couple tears escaping.

hope you enjoyed it :) sorry if it was a little boring, i promise, the next one is going to be so much better! anyway's, you know the drill... REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!