Because of You
Chapter 18
"Time for school!" Amy shouted as she ripped open my curtains. I groaned and slammed the pillow over my head. "Come on Mitch, get up" she said as she pulled the pillow and covers from me.
"Bitch" I muttered as I swung my legs over the bed and rubbed my eyes. "im thinking of just staying home, I feel like shit and I didn't have the best week last week" I sighed. Shane had gone home, so had Nate and I didn't know where Caitlyn was, but I heard that she had gone and stayed with a friend in New Jersey.
"You're going to school whether you like it or not, you need an education, you cant keep working at the coffee shop" she said, throwing some clothes at me. I groaned and slouched into the bathroom to get ready.
Once I was dressed I walked into the kitchen to see Amy sitting down eating. "So, what are your plans for today?" I asked. She shrugged and mumbled something but I couldn't make it out because her mouth was full, I snickered and sat down next to her. "Try swallowing before you eat"
She swallowed loudly. "I've got work, then I have to go to my moms for dinner, my aunt is down for a few days and I have to spend the evening with her, are you going to be ok on your own?" she asked.
I scoffed. "Amy I'll be fine, im not a kid". That was a lie, I didn't want to be left alone, I hated it, every time I had been alone recently I had always thought about cutting again, I hadn't done it in a while but thinking back to how it relieved some of my stress I almost gave in. the only thing that stopped me was the thought of Amy if she found out that I had turned to it again, I shuddered every time. "Anyway, im working nights not aren't I, so I'll be bus with work" I told her.
She nodded. "Good point, well I wont be back too late, but I better get to work, have a good day at school" she said as she gave me a quick hug before dashing out the door. I sighed and leant back on the chair. What I wouldn't give to just crawl back into bed and just cry myself to sleep, but I had been gone for the last couple, I hadn't cried once, I was too numb to cry, and I had done enough of it over the last couple weeks anyway. Hopefully now I was done with all the drama in my life and I could finally start fresh. But when I thought about starting again I thought to Shane, he was always supposed to be the one for, it would be so strange going on without him, recently he had made a huge impact on my life and it was like he had left a permanent mark on me. it was like there was a whole in me that only he could fill and I would never be whole without him. I shook my head; I shouldn't be thinking about him, I should be going now. Slinging on my coat and boots, I grabbed my bag and keys and left.
The car ride there seemed all to fast and It felt like a two minute drive when it was actually ten minutes. When I stepped out of my car I groaned loudly, it was raining. I hated winter; it was not my season. I pulled my hood up and dashed inside. Luckily no one really took any notice that I was the new person, I hate that, you hear it in a lot of stories, you're the new girl and everyone's eyes are on you, I wouldn't like to experience that. I looked down at the schedule I had been giving and made my way to my first lesson. I saw that only a few people in the room so I just went and sat at the back.
"Hey" came a voice behind me. I turned around to see a very good-looking guy. "Are you new?" he asked as he sat at the desk next to me.
I nodded. "Yeah, im Mitchie" I stuck my hand out. "You?"
He shook my hand. "Im Tyler, it's nice to meet you," he said with a sweet smile. I smiled back; he was seriously hot. He had blonde surfer hair with ocean blue eyes, he had a lopsided grin but it suited him and he was well built. He went to say something but the teacher walked in along with a bunch of students following closely behind her.
"Ok kids, sit down, take out you're books and turn to where we were on Friday" she said, her eyes scanning the room until they fell upon me. "Ah you must be out new student, Mitchie Torres"
the whispers began. I sighed, I had forgot, merely two weeks ago I had been in a magazine for possibly being pregnant with Shane's child. I nodded. "That's me" I said nervously.
She nodded and handed me a book along with another one. "We are on page 59, but you can catch up at home" she said before walking back to the front. I sighed and opened the book, Romeo and Juliet, just great. Groaning, I opened up the page and began to read. I looked at the task sheet to see what we had to do. We had to write a review on the book. I slumped back in my seat and skimmed through the pages, I'd just read it tonight. I then felt someone tapping my shoulder. I turned to my right to see a blonde girl.
"Can I help you?" I asked, setting the book down.
"Did you used to date Shane grey?" she asked eagerly, her brown eyes twinkling with excitement. I sighed quietly and shook my head before turning back to the book, I didn't want to deal with this; I didn't want to be known as the girl who 'dates Shane Grey'. I wanted him out of my life fully; I never even wanted to hear his name again. I looked up at the clock and prayed that time would go faster so I could leave.
As soon as we were dismissed I darted out of the room so quickly I almost knocked over a few people in my way. I looked down at the piece of paper to see where my locker was. When I was there Tyler came up to me. "Hey, you got out there pretty fast" he joked.
I stifled a small laugh. "Yeah, I guess I don't like being in classrooms for too long" I lied lamely. I rolled my eyes at myself; well that was such a pathetic lie.
But he laughed. "no one does, anyway I was wondering what you had next?" he pulled the paper from my hands and looked at it. "Ahh finance, why did you pick that?" he asked with a raised an eyebrow.
Because im boring and don't know what to do with my life. "It just seems interesting" I shrugged. He nodded, a guy then walked past and I caught Tyler looking at his butt. I looked at him confused. Was he, gay? "Tyler?" I snapped my fingers in front of his face. He mumbled and nodded his head, bringing his attention back to me. "Were you, looking at his butt?" I asked. His eyes widened as the colour rushed to his cheeks. "You were, weren't you" I smirked and nudged his side.
He swatted my hand away. "Shhh" he said. "Keep your voice down" he held his finger to my lip.
"Are you gay?" I whispered. His eyes widened but they then went back to normal as he nodded slowly, a sigh escaping his perfectly plump lips.
"Please don't tell anyone," he begged, gripping my hand. The look in his eyes made him look so desperate. I nodded and patted his arm, I wonder how people hadn't found out already, I mean, he wasn't exactly discrete about it.
I nodded. "I wont, doesn't anyone know?" I asked. He sighed again and shook his head. "Why not?" being gay was nothing to be ashamed of.
He shrugged. "If people find out you're gay here, your life wont be the same, they will bully you, make a fool out of you, just ruin your life all together, I don't want that, I'd rather be a closeted gay" he said with a sad smile. "Anyway there is only one other gay in the school and he tries so hard not to be, he makes gay jokes, sleeps with as many girls as he can and is just an ass" he shrugged.
"Does he know you're gay?" I asked curiously.
He shook his head frantically. "Oh god no, he is the last person I would tell" he grumbled angrily. I held back a giggle as he pouted out his bottom lip.
I elbowed him lightly in the ribs. "Hey, don't pout, let's go" we then headed to our next lessons. In my next lesson I saw something that made me want to run home and never come out again, a girl was reading a magazine and on the front page in the corner there was the title 'Shane Grey seen going into a mystery girl's house' then there was a picture of Shane going into my apartment and then there was one of me next to it. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I sunk back into my seat and closed my eyes. I then heard the girl's gasp from beside me. I opened one eye and looked at her.
She looked from the magazine to me. "That's you! you're the mystery girl" she shrieked, drawing a few more peoples attention.
My eyes widened. "Can you please keep your voice down" I hissed at her. Her smile didn't fade though. "Before you ask, no im not dating him, we're just, friends" the last word was a but of a struggle to say because well, I was trying to hate him. I was failing though. This time her smile fell a little, I guess she just wanted to know what it was like to date a celebrity, but looking at her, she looked like one of those band sluts, bleach blonde hair, blue eyes thick with make-up and huge boobs. I rolled my eyes at her and turned back to the front. She didn't stop looking at me though, I groaned lightly and dropped my head onto the desk. I was never going to have a normal life.
The day seemed to drag on forever and I felt like crying when I remembered that it was only Monday, I still had four more days of this until the weekend. But when it was finally I ran outside, got home, and sped home. Now I had work. Fuck my life.
Unlocking the door to my apartment, I fell onto the couch. Amy walked in from the kitchen with a bowl of food, I laughed and sat out. "Have enough food?" she flipped me off and sat down on the other couch. "How was work?" I asked, snatching a chip.
She shrugged. "Kind of busy, did I tell you Trish quit, she works in a bar now 20 minutes from the café" she said. I shook my head and raised an eyebrow. "So, how was school?"
I groaned. "Torture, I hated it, I made a friend though, his names Tyler" she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "He's gay" I said, her face fell and I laughed a little. "And I got asked twice if I was dating Shane, turns out im on another magazine cover as 'the mystery girl'" I rolled my eyes and threw my head back. "Now I have to go get ready for work" I groaned loudly and stomped into my room to change into my uniform. Amy's tinkling laugh trailing behind me.
As I was lifting my shirt over my head Amy shouted "Nate called earlier". I stopped and walked out to her, shirt halfway on. "He asked how you were" she said with a side grin.
I swallowed. "What did you tell him?" I asked nervously.
She shrugged. "I said you're getting better but you're still pretty shit" I sighed. "Was I not supposed to say that?"
I shook my head. "You were only telling the truth, how is he?" I asked. When she sighed again I knew he couldn't be good.
"He sounded awful, he's normally so talkative, he could hardly keep up a conversation" she looked at me. "Go ahead, ask how Shane is" I bit my lip and looked down.
I shouldn't care, but something in the back of my mind was screaming at me. "How is he?" I whispered.
"He's shit apparently" she said. "Him and Nate aren't even talking, his parents hardly talk to him either, the only people that do talk to him are Jason and Frankie, probably because frank is too young to understand what's going on and Jason just cant stay mad at people, no matter what they do" she stated. I sighed and leant against the wall. "He asked about you too" she said, her eyes softening.
I closed my eyes as the tears sprung. "What did you tell him?" I asked.
"Exactly what I told Nate," she said honestly. I let out a long breath and nodded. I didn't want him to know that I was hurting over im, I wanted him to believe that I was fine without him. but that wouldn't work because it was far from true, no matter how hard I tried to hate him, I was always going to love him.
"Amy" I muttered. She lifted her head up and looked at me. "Is it bad that I still love him" she shook her head. "Ok, is it bad that I want to forgive him" this time she nodded.
"That's bad because of what he did and he should never be forgiven" I sighed and looked down. "But everyone needs a little bad in their lives" I snapped my head up and looked her; she had a mischievous grin on her face. "I think you need to see him, sort things out once and for all" she said as she walked back into the kitchen. I sighed, why did I want to forgive him, he had ripped my heart hear out and stomped on it so many times, but yet, I wasn't mad anymore, sure I was hurt, but I had forgiven him, I had forgiven him the minute he walked out my door. I grabbed my keys and walked out, Amy was right, I did need to see him so we could sort things out once and for all. I know knew what they meant when they said love makes us do crazy things.
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