Because of you

Chapter 22

I spent two hours running around the mall trying to find the perfect present for Shane, but so far, I wasn't having any luck, I had managed to find everyone else's presents without much fuss, but no, I just had to struggle now. I opened my purse, I had 200 bucks left, suddenly, I remembered him mentioning something about a watch he wanted.

Once I had finally found Shane's present, I was happy. Well, mildly, I was still missing him like crazy and I just didn't know what to do with my time. I got home quickly and as usual, I slumped down onto the couch and switched on the TV. This is how I spend most of my days, aren't I so much fun? Sprawling out on the sofa I looked up at the ceiling, lost in thought. I was probably going to be spending Christmas a lone this year, not that last year was much different, I would have rather of spent it all alone. Sometimes I really hated living in New York, I had no family here, a few friends fro, school and Amy, but they would all be with their families at Christmas, like any other normal person. But no, I have to be a complete loner and just sit here stuffing my face with ice cream while watching repeats of million year old Christmas films.

The shrill sound of my phone snatched me out of my thoughts. I picked it up and smiled when I heard the familiar voice on the opposite end. "Hello Shane" I said.

"Hello Gorgeous, how are you today?" he asked, his voice more cheery than usual.

I laughed. "Feeling a little lonely, I really miss you" I said sadly, my bottom lip stuck in a pout but I sucked in when I realised how stupid I must look.

"Well, you wont be missing me in a week" he said slyly.

"Why not?" I asked, nothing but confusion in my voice.

"How would feel about spending Christmas with me, we'll go away, somewhere cold, where there's lot's of snow, just me and you" he said sweetly.

I began to smile, a wide, ridiculous smile. "Really? Are your parents ok with that? They don't mind you missing Christmas with them?"

"It was actually their idea," he admitted. "But I want to do it, as long as you do"

The smile was even bigger. "Shane, I'd love to, just call me when you know the details" I leant back. "I can't wait"

"me too babe, I'll call you tomorrow and tell you everything, I love you" he said softly.

"I love you too pop star," I giggled.

He groaned. "You know I hate when you call me that, I prefer Rock star"

I laughed. "Bye Shane" and before he could protest anymore I hung up the phone. Ok, so maybe I wasn't going to be alone this Christmas after all. I jumped up in excitement and skipped into my room. I pulled out my suitcase and flipped it open, didn't hurt to prepare early on. Yanking all of my winter clothes out of my wardrobe, I folded them up and tidily folded them up and placed them into my suitcase. I then heard the front door go. Running into the front room I threw my arms around Amy.

She huffed out. "Whoa, what's got you so happy?"

I pulled away and beamed at her. "Im going away with Shane for Christmas, just me and him, for Christmas" I squealed as I fell back onto the sofa.

She sat next to me. "That's great, where are you going?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know, I don't think he has booked it yet, but im so excited, just me and Shane, our first Christmas together" my smile faded. "What if it goes wrong?"

She laughed. "What could possible go wrong?"

I stood up and began pacing. "I don't know, he could find me boring or something" a thought then danced into my mind. "Oh god"

She stood up. "What?"

"This is the first time we will be spending nights together, and we haven't, you know" I blushed.

She raised her eyebrows. "You guy's haven't had sex yet?" I shook my head. "Have you never talked about it before?"

I sighed. "No, it's never really come up before and don't think either have us have really thought about it, I mean, he might have but I haven't, until now" I looked at her. "Do you think I should talk to him about it?" I asked.

She nodded. "You definitely need to talk to him about it if its on your mind, because he might be thinking about it, so yes, you have to talk to him"

I groaned. "But what will I say?" that was a whole different matter, I couldn't just come out and say 'so, are we going to have sex anytime while we're away', im sure that wouldn't go down very well and would just make me sound like a bit of a whore.

She shook her head and shrugged her small shoulders. "I couldn't tell you what to say, but just play it cool, don't rush into things, if its going to happen, it will, let it play out" I nodded. "But you need know that you're ready for this"

I looked around. "I don't know, I think I am, I mean, I've thought about it a few times, but nothing major" I fiddled with my hands. "Do you think he would mind if im not ready?"

She shook her head. "No, he loves you so he would wait for you" I smiled and so did she. "So, what did you get Shane in the end for his present, or better yet, what did you get me" she bumped her shoulder against mine and winked.

I rolled my eyes. "Like im going to tell you, but I'll show you what I got Shane, I really hope he likes it"

She followed me into my room where it was. "Im sure he is going to love it" I pulled it our of the bag and opened up the box, revealing his present. She nodded her head in approval. "He is going to absolutely love it" she then bowed her head as a lovely smile took over her lips. "I have to tell you something"

"It must be pretty good if it's making you blush like that" I teased. She placed her hands over her cheeks self-consciously then dropped them as she began to speak.

"So, I was talking to Nate last night, he invited me to spend Christmas with his family" she smiled. "My parents want to go on holiday and I was going to ask if you were ok with it, in case you weren't doing anything for Christmas, but now that I know you are I just might go, do you think I should?"

I smiled. "I think you should definitely go, that boy cares about you a lot and I think that spending Christmas with him will being you that much closer and he might finally ask you out" I winked at her.

The blush returned to her cheeks. "I really like him Mitch, and I hope he asks me out, I really don't want to wait any longer and I am definitely not asking him out" she protested stubbornly as she crossed her arms. I just laughed and shook my head at her. "There's also another thing"

The way her smile completely disappeared from her face told me that what she was about to tell me was nothing good. "What is it?"

She sighed and crossed her legs. "Caitlyn called Nate" I sighed. "She apologised to him, he forgave her"

I nodded. "Nate was never one to hold grudges so that really doesn't surprise me" she sighed. "Does it surprise you?"

She shook her head and let another sigh fall from her lips. "No, I just don't want her to hurt him again, I mean, he was a complete mess, and I don't want him to go back to her" she winced. "I don't think I could see that"

I shook my head. "He may have forgiven her but he wont go back to her, he's kind, not stupid" I said. It was true, if he went back with Caitlyn he would be making a very absent minded choice. I knew Caitlyn, she had her times when she was such a gorgeous soul, but when a boy paid her the slightest bit of attention, she would jump at it, which was how she always was. She had been like that throughout high school, the amount of friends she had lost but I never left her side, I was the only one that didn't abandon her, and I didn't plan to. I missed her, I admit that, but she will have to do a hell of a lot to gain my friendship back.

She nodded. "I really hope not" I smiled at how cute she sounded. She seemed to really like Nate, and I was glad, he was the perfect guy for her, after hearing everything about Brad im just glad she has chosen someone that can treat her like she should be treated, and there's no one better than Nate to treat a girl right. She clapped her hands. "Ok, enough with the depressing talk, we need to pick you out some new underwear for your trip" she wiggled her eyebrows. "Lacy and revealing items, yeah, that will drive Shane crazy"

"I don't know" I said unsure. "I don't know if he will like it" I blushed at the thought of him seeing me in the revealing things.

She poked my side. "He is going to love it, he's a guy, all guys like It when girls where those sort if things"

Something then popped into my mind. "His purity ring"

She shook her head. "That doesn't matter anymore, he has already broken that promise, it doesn't count"

I sighed. "But what if he still thinks it does, I mean, he continues to wear it after he and Caitlyn had sex" I told her.

She nodded in acknowledgement. "yeah, but no on knew about him and Caitlyn and if he didn't wear his ring, people would ask questions, rumours would start and it would just cause him so much hell, that's probably why he still wears it now, for his image" I nodded. "It's a bummer Nate wears his" I giggled. "Oh well, I can wait"

I laughed again. "Come on Amy, can you really"

"For him I can"

The sparkle in her eyes made me smile and honestly believe her. He made her so happy and I knew she would do anything to make him happy as well, including waiting until he was ready, or marriage. But my mind quickly switched back to Shane. was I even ready for all of this, I mean I was still, egh, I was still a…virgin. Well, kind of, it you put aside the…incident -That is what I refer it too- Apart from that, I am a virgin. What if I messed it up? What if he thought I was bad in bed? Oh god I was just making this worse for myself. Would he think differently of me thought if he knew I was a virgin? Would he laugh? I sure hope not, and I didn't think he would, I mean, he's Shane, he's understanding. I was just physicing myself out before anything is even happening, I mean, we might not even have sex. Did I even want to have sex with him? of course I did, kind of. I mean, I love him and I trust him with everything in me, well, I do now, there's still a little he needs to earn, and come one, have you seen him, he's bloody gorgeous. Anyone would be lucky to have to honour of sleeping with him, so why was I so worried?

"stop thinking about it so much" Amy scolded like she was reading my mind. "You will just end up talking yourself out of it like you do with everything" she said

I sighed. "Im scared ok, and I shouldn't even be thinking about something that might not even happen, I blame you for the whole underwear thing, that's freaked me out even more, I've never even worn a thong" I cringed. She just laughed. "What?"

"You are such a girl" I rolled my eyes. "And you don't have to wear a thong, just lacy knickers, or you don't even have to wear them, Shane will think your gorgeous no matter what" I smiled. "Even in your granny panties"

I gasped as she cracked up laughing. "I do not wear granny panties!"

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