Thank you, thank you for your continued support! It has made writing so much fun :)
A little lemon and some drama is up.

To ease my troubled mind

When I woke up I was slightly disorientated. I realized, even before opening my eyes that I wasn't in my own bed. But I wasn't at Kyle's either. I could feel some hairs tickling my cheek but they weren't curls, they were straight. I opened my eyes and noticed Kenny lying on me chest. I smiled and ran my hand through his hair. He shifted and moved up, smiling down at me.

"Hey." I murmured in my low, morning voice.

"Hey." He pressed his lips to mine in a quick kiss. "Slept well?"

"Yeah."I continued to lazily comb his hair. "You?"

"Oh, I slept great. Though waking up with you is even better." He grinned and pressed his pelvis against my hip. I blushed as I felt his morning wood pushing against me. His grin got wider and he started to push soft kisses down my jaw and throat.

"Kenny..."

"Hm?" One of his hands was sliding over my chest and he started to grind against me in slow, agonizing strokes.

"I'd love to, hmmm, do stuff like this." It was hard to form a proper sentence as his hand moved even lower.

"But I haven't got all my schoolbooks with me so I need to go to my home before going to school." I rambled quickly.

"That's too bad." He whispered with his lips pressed against my ear. "I was looking forward to another thing like last night."

My hands traced over the soft skin of his back as I answered him.

"We can do that the next time." He backed up and smiled at me. Lips pink from kissing my neck.

"That would be awesome." We kissed again and I felt an explosion of happiness in my stomach. God, Kenny was great.

"Want some breakfast?" He asked and as if on cue my stomach rumbled loudly. Kenny hiccoughed in laughter and got up from his bed.

"I think that means yes." I said and got up too.

"You can take a shower if you want. I'll make us some scrambled eggs."

"Really?" I said as he tossed me a towel and a clean shirt.

"Oh, I can take good care of my man." He winked at me and pinched my ass. I laughed and pulled him close, kissing him on the mouth.

"I never doubted that." I said. We shared another kiss before I moved into the shower and he disappeared into the kitchen. The shower was cramped and a bit dirty. Cheap soap and shampoo on the tile floor. Flowery pink ones for Karen, butch spicy ones for Kevin, cheap regular ones for their parents and very soft, neutral ones for Kenny. I picked his and washed myself with it. It was rather nice, smelling like Kenny. I took a quick shower, not wanting to use all their hot water and changed into my jeans and Kenny's spare shirt. It was a bright, dark purple with big letters spelling "Too sexy for this shirt" on it. I grinned at the Kennyness of the shirt. I went back into the kitchen where Karen had joined us.

"Oh, I didn't even know you were here!" She said in surprise.

"Yeah, he stayed over." Kenny said, pouring himself some coffee.

"Did you guys have fun? Why wasn't I invited?"

"I don't think Kenny would have wanted you there." I smirked. Kenny choked on his coffee and started laughing really hard at my comeback. I grinned and began eating my eggs.

XXX

School was more fun then usual. I felt myself drifting off in class more often and I realized with a shock that I was actually daydreaming about Kenny. I was thinking about the stuff we could do, like playing video games, going to a movie maybe or just hang out in a park. I already did those things with him, but mostly with the four of us or at least Kyle joined us. It had only been after we started playing poker that I had begun to hang out with him more frequently and without the others joining us.

I loved every minute of it.

I found myself smiling more often and I could see Kyle looking at me in surprise whenever he caught me grinning at a wall, chair or the floor as I was thinking of hanging out with Kenny. I was happier, walking around with a spring in my step and being more friendly towards my friends. I could tell that they were either thinking I was getting over Wendy or that I was maybe seeing someone new.

Which I wasn't sure I was or not. Was I actually seeing Kenny? Or were we just friends with benefits? Putting a label on it felt like I was jinxing it so I didn't dare do it.

But then something happened that made my world come crashing down. It was a few days after sleeping over at Kenny's when I was about to leave for school and was standing by my locker, sorting my books.

I pushed some books into my locker and closed it, leaning against it to get it fully closed. My eye caught a sight at the other end of the hall way.

Bebe and Kenny talking, leaning close together. Kenny had his arm on the locker next to her, leaning in close to her. A smile on his face that I knew only too well. I froze, still with my shoulder against my locker. They talked very quietly and Kenny moved his hand to tug a strand of her curls behind her ears, caressing her cheek in the progress. Bebe smiled at him and batted her eyelashes.

My throat was tight and constricted as if I was choking. I felt frozen in spot and with great mental power I disconnected myself from my locker. Bebe's hand came up to caress Kenny's side and I saw his smile get wider at the contact. I tore my gaze away and quickly left the hall way, glad I didn't have to pass them to get outside.

On the steps and in the sunlight I took a couple of deep breaths. Why was I getting upset over this? I knew Kenny! I knew he was like this! He flirted with half the school, had probably slept with them too! Who was I to suddenly put a claim on him? Just because we had done some stuff? I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the tears that were threatening to come through. I was being ridiculous, he had said he liked me a lot right?

But never had he said anything about being exclusive.

Did I really think I would be able to tie down the man whore of South Park?

I growled in anger at myself and walked off of the school grounds, totally caught up in my own thoughts. I was pissed off beyond words. Angry at myself for not seeing this coming and angry at Kenny for being the way he was. At home I found I couldn't concentrate

Hey dude, are you coming over tonight for a lesson ;)

Sorry, busy

I was lying and felt bad for it, but I couldn't face Kenny tonight. Not after seeing him with Bebe. It was too much for me to handle. With a sigh I put my phone away after turning it off. I really didn't want to be bothered tonight. I put on my headphones and decided to reward myself with a bit of Assassins Creed.

I was only playing for an hour when I felt a hand land on my shoulder. I yelped and hit pause, about to shout in anger at my sister for interrupting me. But as I turned in my chair I didn't see my sister's frowning face or even my dad's frantic one. It was Kenny. I yanked off my headphones with shaking hands.

"So, busy huh?" I felt extremely caught.

"Yeah, well." I rambled as he leaned in, hands on the back of my chair. I was forced to look into his blue eyes and felt again stunned at their intensity.

"Stan." He whispered. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, okay. I just didn't feel like playing poker tonight." I said evasively, looking away. I knew he would probably see right through me. He was also distracting me by being this close and I wanted to look at him or touch him so badly right now.

He grabbed my arms and pulled me up from my chair.

"Kenny, what..?" But he tugged me along to sit on my bed and he joined me.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong?" He stroke my arm in comfort but right then his touch only irritated me and I shrugged him off.

"Stan.."

"You should go." I got up but he pulled me back harshly so that I fell on my back. Quickly he straddled me and leaned in.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." He sounded worried and when I looked into his eyes I knew he really was worried.

"It's nothing, okay?" I tried again, but the lie was very clear in my voice. I tried pushing him off but when my hands touched his shoulders instead of pushing him away I pulled him closer. My lips met his eagerly. I could tell he was surprised but he kissed back nonetheless.

Our kiss became heated very quick as our mouths meshed together and our tongues tangled. My hands caressed his shoulders and I felt bolder than ever before and I disconnected our mouths to yank off his shirt. My hands sliding over his body immediately. He moaned and kissed me again, his own hands tangling in my hair. I felt myself harden as I stroke every patch of skin I could find. His hands slid under my shirt and with a swift move I pulled it off too.

His mouth landed on my neck and he sucked at a spot under my ear. I completely melted against him, whimpering loudly. His hand came up and he slid it into my hair, much like he had done earlier with Bebe. My eyes snapped open and I pushed him off of me.

"No!" I panted and got up, looking around for my shirt. Desperately avoiding his eyes as he got up too. His erection quite visible in his jeans. But even when I had found my shirt and pulled it on I could not avoid him any longer. He grabbed my arms in his strong grip.

"Stan.." He started again.

"No! No! Leave me alone! I need to be alone right now!" I pulled myself free from his grip and quickly darted out of my room. I practically ran down the stairs and grabbed my coat. I could just see my mom's surprised face as I opened the door and stepped outside. Her voice sounded from inside as I quickly walked down the street, pulling on my coat as I walked. After a few deep breaths I felt a bit better. But I was still miserable and sad. I was just another one of Kenny's hook-ups. It felt terrible and so very, very alone. I needed some to talk to. Kyle.

I grabbed my phone from my pocket and turned it on. Immediately I saw two missed calls from Kenny, clearly he had tried to call me before he came over. Without hesitation I dialed Kyle's number.

"Hey dude."

"Hey, man. You busy?"

"You sound upset, what's up?" Just then did I realize the tears that were streaming down my face.

"I'm just- I'm just. Can I come over?" I managed.

"Yes, yes of course. Come over right away, 'kay?"

"'Kay." I hung up and walked the last bit towards his house. When I came there he was already waiting for me in the doorway, a worried expression on his face. He pulled me in for a hug and I buried my head in his shoulder. He just hugged me to him and petted my back, letting me cry quietly for a moment. Slowly my sobbing died down.

"Want to come inside?"

"Yes, please." He pulled me inside and up the stairs into his room.

"So." He started as I took off my coat. He sat down on his bed. "What's the matter?" But then I hesitated. Could I tell Kyle I had sort of been seeing one of our friends? While he had always thought I was straight? While I had thought myself that I was straight all my life?

"I-, I, ah, I've been seeing someone, the past weeks." I sat down next to him.

"I thought it would something like that."

"What?" I looked at Kyle, his eyes were dancing with mirth. "Well, it was obvious you were hiding something from me." He grinned. "And you were so, I don't know, happy, these past days that I figured it was something like that." I smiled, in spite of my tears. It looked as if my bluffing skills weren't as good as I was hoping them to be. But of course, hiding something from Kyle was impossible, my best friend could read me better than anyone else.

"Well, you're right."

"So, you got into a fight with her?" He started to rub my shoulders.

"Yeah, something like that." I looked away from him. "We have been seeing each other for a few weeks now. But she has a bit of a, ah, reputation." I finished. It was weird to talk about Kenny like that. Kyle frowned but let me finish my story.

"I knew this about her, but I thought that maybe she would, could…change." I really had thought that. Kenny and I were close, I knew all about his history with girls. But because it was me, one of his closest friends, I thought if he could ever change, it would be for me.

"But she didn't." I finished.

"She cheated on you?"

"…No, not really."

"What do you mean?"

"I just, I saw her talking to another man and I sort of flipped out."

"Where they kissing?"

"No, just talking." Kyle was biting his lip at my reply, an exasperated expression on his face.

"What? You think I overreacted?"

"Maybe, yes."

"No! They were talking and- and really close and she was smiling and he was touching her hair. And- and-." Kyle grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him.

"Have you two talked about being exclusive?"

"No.."

"Did you talk to her about this?"

"No, I've avoided hi- her since then." Kyle rolled his eyes.

"Oh, God, Stan! You are so stupid sometimes!"

"What? Why!"

"You know how girls are: she probably meant for you to see it and wanted to make you jealous." Yes, that was how a lot of girls worked. "Maybe she wants you two to date exclusively, didn't know how to tell you because of her reputation and tried something like this." That was just way too girly for someone like Kenny.

"I don't know, I don't think she works like that."

"Do you like her?"

"What? Are you insane? I'm crazy about her! She is fantastic and makes me feel like I'm on top of the world! And I have the feeling I can make her feel the same way." Kyle nodded at me, appreciation shining in his eyes.

"Is she trustworthy? In spite of her whorish tendencies."

"Oh yes! She is! She's just always been…popular I guess and had taken advantage of it."

Kyle snorted in laughter. "Like Kenny." I felt a heavy weight drop in my stomach.

"Yeah, like Kenny." I admitted softly.

"There's your answer then. You're obviously hung up on this girl, you should talk to her. Maybe you saw it the wrong way. It would be a shame if you would lose a girl over something stupid."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." Kyle had a way of solving my problems in just a few sentences.

"But I do feel the need to say, as your best friend, that if I ever find out that this girl is cheating on you.." He balled his fist.

"Relax, dude." I grinned at him, and grabbed his wrist, forcing him to relax. "Thanks for listening, dude."

"So, are you going to tell me who this girl is?" He kept grinning at me.

I panicked a bit. "Not now, maybe later. 'kay?"

"Sure, that's fine. You do know I'm really curious now?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Later, though. Really."

"So, are you okay now?"

"Yeah."

"Want to sleep here?"

"Yes, please."

We got ready for bed and I texted my mom saying everything was fine and that I was sleeping at Kyle's place. I was somehow disappointed I hadn't gotten a text from Kenny, but I remembered I had said I wanted to be alone. He was just giving me my alone time. I should man up and face the consequences. Maybe I could get Kenny to stop dating other people. The idea made me really warm and giddy on the inside. Who would have ever thought that Kenny, of all people, could make me feel like that? There was also the chance that Kenny would say no, but I pushed that thought away for the time being. But my talk with Kyle had made me realize that the idea of having Kenny all to myself was strangely appealing. I decided to text him as Kyle was doing his whole bathroom routine.

"Hey dude. Sorry for my outburst, I had a lot on my mind. Maybe we can talk tomorrow?"

I had tried to avoid the whole 'we need to talk' thing, not wanting to sound like a chick. His reply was instant.

"It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow at Kyle's right?" Oh right, the sleepover at Kyle's. I knew Kenny was working during the day and I had practice, we would probably only have time to see each other then.

"Yes. Though too bad the other two are there as well ;) " the thought of seeing Kenny made me excited and I couldn't control my flirting.

"Maybe Kyle can distract Cartman. Or we can have another sleepover with just the two of us."

"That sounds great. Let's pick a date for that tomorrow."

"We'll do. Looking forward to it ;)" I grinned at Kenny's now familiar flirting and quickly put my phone away as Kyle entered his room again.

"Oh? What's that smile?" He smirked. "Texting your mystery girl?"

"Maybe." It was hard to wipe the smile off my face. We climbed into bed together and he turned off the lights.

"I'm really curious." Kyle was grinning and turned towards me.

"Geez, Kyle! Can't a guy have a little secret?" Normally he would just laugh and tease me some more, but now he was oddly quiet.

"Yeah, I guess." I lifted myself up on my elbows on looked down at him.

"Kyle…" He finally met my eyes. He could read me but I could read him too. He was feeling guilty about something. Now I really wanted to know.

"What?"

"What are you hiding? Come on tell me! Don't make me tickle you!" I added as a threat. The fact that he was ticklish always came in handy in these types of situations.

"No! No! Okay!" He scooted back, holding up his hands. "It's just…"He sighed. "Can I tell you later? I'm not sure how you will react to it." He looked really uncomfortable and skittish.

"What? Kyle! Dude, you can tell me anything! You know that!"

"I know, I know." He looked away. I hated it when Kyle was all squeamish. "I'm just- It's like you with your mystery girl, you know?"

"Does it have something to do with lying about Yom Kippur?" He blushed amazingly red at that.

"You knew about that?"

"I figured it out a little later, but yeah."

"Y-yes, it has something to do with that."

"Just so we're in the clear." I said "You're not terminally ill or have knocked a girl up or something?" He laughed at that.

"No, no. It's nothing like that!"

"Good." I lay back down and closed my eyes. "Because I would hate to try and convince Cartman to give you another one of his kidneys. It would kill him, but I think we can overlook that."

Then I blurted out:

"Speaking of Cartman, he isn't the reason you lied, is he?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, something is up with you and you always fight with him. I thought that, you know, you maybe found a way of resolving your...tension."

"What, what...what?!" He backed away, looking offended.

"It's just that-."

"NO!" Kyle looked really angry. For a moment I wasn't sure whether he was angry at me finding him out, or that there really was something else.

"Even if I-, Cartman?!" He couldn't form proper sentences, he was that angry.

"I'm sorry! But he got so angry when Clyde said that he got the hots for you, that I thought, maybe behind our backs the two of you-."

"Don't you even dare say it!" Once again he gave the impression he wanted to throw me out of his bed.

"Why do you always say this kind of stuff when we're in bed?!"

"Jeez! I'm sorry okay!" I was starting to get angry too. Something was obviously going on that he was refusing to tell me. Maybe it was something big, maybe it wasn't. But the fact that he didn't want to tell me was making me angry. And scared.

"I'm worried Kyle! Why won't you tell me?"

"Oh, you're one to talk! Why didn't you tell me you were sort of dating someone?" That made me silent.

"I'm not- I'm not ready to share it yet." I mumbled.

"Yeah, well. Maybe I'm not ready either." The tension disappeared and Kyle looked calmer, as if his rage had slowly faded away after my statement.

"I will tell you, though. Okay? Just later."

I understood and nodded.

"When we're both ready."

He nodded at me.

"Cartman, really." He scoffed. He shifted closer so that his head lay against my shoulder. We were both tired and I noticed how he was already drifting off. I mumbled sleepily:

"But if you really do need another kidney we could tell him that news tomorrow. I'm sure that between the three of us we have enough strength to hold him down." The image of the four of us wrestling came to mind, then as I drifted off it changed to just me and Kenny wrestling. With a huge grin on my face I fell asleep.

Aw, poor Stan. All emotional and doubting, but that is the way he tends to be. A good, old fashioned sleepover is next :) Always nice!