Chapter Five: Tell Myself You Never Loved Me

Author's Note: Shout out to my best friend kaitlinklaine for all her alerts and favorites and reviews! The dream sequence that takes place during the story is in italics. As always, I don't own Glee or any of the Glee characters. The chapter title comes from Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac. And since today is Wednesday, don't forget to wear blue for our favorite tall, awkward, Canadian, actor, drummer, person.

When Rachel woke up a few days later, she could tell something was wrong. She had a weird feeling in her stomach, a headache, and she was pretty sure she had a fever.

Rachel Berry was sick, and that hardly ever happened.

She forced herself out of bed and stumbled downstairs to force some food down before work.

"Whoa, Berry, you look horrible." Puck said looking up from his breakfast of Lucky Charms and Fruit Loops mixed together.

"Shut up, Noah." She took a sharp inhale and had to grab onto the corner of the island to keep from collapsing.

"Rach, are you okay?" Finn said, reaching out to try and guide her to a seat.

"I think I just have a little cold. I'll be okay. What time did Sylvester say she wanted us to be there?"

"There's no way you're going to work today. I'll stay here and make sure you're okay." Finn said. "You go back to bed, and I'll bring you up some toast."

"But I can't miss work. The patients, the internship…"

"There will be more patients in the future, and you won't lose your job. Even though Sylvester is tough on all of us, she thinks highly of you. And the Chief adores you; you're like the daughter he never had with Emma. I even heard him say that to Emma in passing one day. So unless you royally fuck something up, you won't lose your job at McKinley." Finn said. He debated going over to where she was sitting and picking her up to take her back to her room, but that's something a boyfriend would do. And while Finn and Rachel were back to being best friends, they weren't quite at that point in their relationship.

"I still can't miss work. I probably ate something funky. Food poisoning isn't contagious. I just need to take some medicine and I'll be fine." She stood up from her stool and gripped onto the corner of the island for support.

"No, Rach, there's something wrong with you. So, either you can walk yourself upstairs and go back to sleep, or I'm picking you up, taking you to bed, locking the door, and leaving for work. Take your pick."

Rachel bit her lip and looked at Finn through her bangs. "Fine. I'm going back to bed. But if Sylvester gets mad at me, you can tell her that it's all your fault. And yours too, Noah!"

"What did I do?"

"I don't know…accessory to the crime. For not telling Finn that I'm fine." She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl and stomped back up to her room.

"Rachel, what are you doing in bed?" Tina asked, peeking into Rachel's room. "You're going to be late to work."

"I was told that I'm not going to work because of a little stomach issue when really all I have to do is take an Advil every few hours."

Tina came further into Rachel's room and sat at the end of her bed. "Is everything okay?"

"Well, I have a slight stomachache and it kind of hurts every time I move. I woke up this morning and had a small fever and a headache. But I'm pretty sure the headache is from dehydration."

"Do you mind if I do a quick exam on you?"

"Be my guest. If that means I can go to work, you'll be my freaking savior." Rachel moved over on the bed and Tina sat down next to her. The first place she touched on Rachel's stomach, she screamed out in pain.

"Yeah, I think you get to go to work today. But you get to be the patient, not the doctor. I think you have appendicitis."

"Appendicitis? Why didn't I think of that. Of course that's what I have." Rachel slumped back into bed. "But how can I get to the hospital when I can barely move."

Tina thought for just a minute. "I know! I'll be right back. Don't move." Tina ran out of Rachel's room.

"Don't move? Are you kidding me? Totally not funny."

A few moments later, Finn and Puck were standing in Rachel's doorway.

"Don't just stand there. Go help the poor girl who has appendicitis get off the bed and into the car." Tina said. Finn and Puck snapped out of the daze that they were in and went over to pick Rachel up from the bed.

"Noah, you are not touching me. Back away." Rachel snapped. "Knowing you, you'll try and find a way to feel me up and it's not cool, especially since I can barely move." She turned her attention to Finn. "Please be gentle because the pain is some of the most excruciating pain I've ever felt before."

"I'll try my hardest. I can't believe I didn't realize you had appendicitis. That is like, the most basic medical procedure ever. And the signs are so obvious."

"Can we stop talking about missing the signs and stuff because I kinda want my appendix out before it bursts and I die."

"Right, sorry, Rach." Finn leaned over the bed and gingerly picked Rachel up and she curled into his chest.

"Now, let's get to the hospital." Tina said, leading the roommates out of Rachel's room and out to one of the cars in the driveway.

"Hudson, Puckerman, you're early for work And what's up with Berry? She looks sicker than a dog." Sylvester said when they arrived at the hospital.

"She has appendicitis. She needs surgery ASAP." Puck said.

"How long have the symptoms been here?" Sylvester said, guiding Finn over to an empty hospital bed. He carefully put Rachel on the bed and Sylvester started taking her vitals.

"She started complaining about them this morning. She just thought she had a cold. I told her she was going to have to stay home from work and she got mad. So she went upstairs and Tina figured out what it was."

"Well, good for her. And for you, Berry, we're going to get you into surgery right away. Puckerman, go apologize to the patient in 1214 and tell her the surgery will be at noon today. Hudson, you're going to help me out with the appendectomy. And let the Chief know that Rachel is going into surgery and tell him to call Leroy and Hiram to let them know."

The two interns nodded and ran to do what Sylvester told them to do.

"Where am I?" Rachel asked. She looked around and saw she wasn't in the hospital, or the operating room. Instead she was standing in what appeared to be a courtroom.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, you are on trial that will decide your fate with Finn Hudson."

"My fate with Finn? He's my best friend, and he always will."

"Oh give it up, girl." The judge came into the room and took her spot. "My name is Judge Mercedes Jones, and this is the bailiff, Mr. Samuel Evans. Now, where is your counselor?"

"My counselor? I don't even know why I'm here. I'm just supposed to be having my appendix at McKinley Hospital in New York City. Not having a court session about my feelings for Finn. Which, might I add, are one hundred percent platonic. I don't have any romantic feelings towards him."

"Objection, Your Honor." Rachel turned to her left and saw her hardest teacher from med school, Cassandra July, sitting at the prosecution table. "There are multiple pictures proving that things are more than platonic. Exhibit A, twenty minutes ago, you leaned your head on Mr. Hudson's chest."

"Um, yeah. I was trying to be more comfortable. I have appendicitis."

"Exhibit B, the hurt look on your face when he brings home when he brings one night stand Megan."

"I was just surprised. Even best friends are surprised when people have one night stands with bleach blonde tramps. And I still don't see what this is trying to prove."

"Ms. Berry, we're going to play a game. I'm going to say a word, and you have to say the first thing that pops into your head. Ready?" Cassandra said, walking over to where Rachel was sitting. "Work."

"McKinley Hospital."

"Friends."

"Rachel Green."

"Not the TV show, you idiot. We're trying that again. Friends."

"Kurt Hummel."

"Love of your life."

"Finn Hudson."

As soon as she said Finn's name, her mouth dropped open and her jaw about hit the floor.

"I rest my case, Your Honor. The girl is in love with Finn Hudson."

The judge turned her attention to Rachel. "Now, why do you think you don't love Finn Hudson?"

"Because he doesn't love me. What he did today…he did it because he's my best friend. Not because he wants to be my boyfriend. And a few nights ago, he came into my room to tell me he found his dream girl. And even though he thinks it's me, I really don't think it's me. He feels like he loves me because I'm giving him a place to stay and it's a lot cheaper than any place that's actually near the hospital. And if he really loved me, he wouldn't have hooked up with Megan. Your Honor, I'd much rather stay friends with Finn Hudson than start a relationship with him."

"And why is that?"

"Because the last relationship I was in ended badly. And I don't want that to happen to Finn and I. I care about him too much and I…I…"

"Just spit it out, Berry, some of us don't have all day." Cassandra said, examining her nails.

"I love him. I love him so fucking much. And I kept telling myself that I don't love him or that he doesn't love me because I'm scared. I'm scared of us breaking up and ruining our friendship, and I'm worried about things going wrong that shouldn't go wrong. But mostly I'm scared that I'm not good enough for him."

"Well, Ms. Berry, I'm here to inform you that it's my opinion that none of those things should happen to you. However, the Fate Sisters and I haven't been getting along the last few months, so they probably won't listen to me, but I think even they can see how much the two of you are meant to be together. So, I'm demanding that once you get out of surgery, you talk to Mr. Hudson about your relationship. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now, they're taking you out of the operating room so our time here is done. I hope everything works out between the two of you because you have the cutest couple name ever."

"A couple name?"

"Yes, Berry, a couple name. You take a few letters from his name and a few letters from your name and smush them together."

"That's enough, Cassandra. You're dismissed." Mercedes turned back to Rachel. "Yes, that is a couple name. And your couple name with Finn is Finchel."

"Finchel? You're right, it is pretty cute."

"Good, Ms. Berry. Now it's time for you to let go from this so you can tell that boy how you really feel about him."

"Finn…" Rachel said as she started to come back from the anesthesia.

"She's waking up. Page Dr. Sylvester." one of the nurses said. Rachel vaguely recognized the voice.

Rachel blinked a few times, trying to get used to the florescent lights. "I need to talk to Finn."

"He's in a surgery right now, sweetie." Rachel blinked and saw her dads sitting on the hospital chairs.

"What are you doing here?"

"Will personally called us and said you were going into surgery. So we came to see you and make sure you're okay."

"When can I talk to Finn? Do you have any idea?"

"Right now." Finn said, out of breath. "I ran all the way here. Glad to see you're awake. Sirs," Finn said, acknowledging her dads sitting in the chairs. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. Better. Tired." Her head started to fall back against her pillow before she bolted to sit upright. "I need to talk to you. Alone." She turned her head to where Hiram and Leroy were sitting.

"Leroy, would you look at the time. I think we need to remind Paige about the one patient…" Hiram started.

"Oh, right. Most definitely. We'll be back in a little bit, sweet pea." Leroy said, walking over to Rachel's bed. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and her dads left the room.

"So, let me check on your vitals to see how you're doing."

"Can you not be Dr. Finn Hudson and instead be my best friend Finn Hudson for like five minutes?"

"Is everything okay, Rach?"

"I love you. And I know I said I didn't want you to be some rebound that I date to help me get over Jesse but the truth is, I was over Jesse even when the two of us were dating. I love you and I want us to be together."

"You're sure about this?"

"One hundred percent sure. I love you, Finn Hudson."

"I love you, too Rachel Berry." He licked his lips and looked down at her.

"You can kiss me if you want to." Rachel said, squirming around in the bed to get more comfortable.

"I want to." And with that, his lips crashed down onto Rachel's in the most searing kiss she had ever experienced.