June 25, 2009~
A few days have passed ever since the man scared Mable and me in the library. The feeling of being stalked has worn off a little bit, but that eeriness of being watched hasn't quite left yet completely. Finally, Lily, Violet and I decide to play outside near the river a little bit.
"Have you ever been cliffdiving?" Lily asks, smiling cleverly. Violet and I exchange nervous glances. "Never," we reply in unison.
"Well, you won't be able to say that anymore." Lily skips out the huge brass doors and into the field of high yellow grass swaying in the hot summer breeze of the afternoon.
"Is that why were wearing these ridiculous wetsuits?" Violet jokes, her black and blonde streaked hair glowing in the sunlight.
"Yep. We're gonna have a blast! It'll be to celebrate the end of fourth grade," Lily grins triumphantly. "And, third grade too for Violet."
My cousin smiles. "Thank you, Lily."
We race down to the river bank and dip our bare feet into the icy black water. "It looks a little rough today," I call out cautiously, letting the coldness chill me to the bone.
"It's fine," Lily answers, care-freely. She leads us up to the top of the cliff and sniffs the salty New York State air. "It's perfect," she claims, stripping down to her wetsuit. I follow her action, but Violet stays dressed. "I'll just watch you guys," she mutters, plopping down somewhere.
Lily trots to the edge of the cliff and peers down into the churning water. Her pearly teeth glisten in the midday sunshine and she grabs my hand, pulling me to the edge. "You gonna jump?" she asks, beaming.
I nod. "Okay," I agree as a rush of excitement shoots through me. "Are you sure this is safe?"
"Perfectly fine. I've seen the older girls do it all the time. I watch 'em. It looks like they sure do have a lot of fun."
"How much older?" I ask nervously.
Lily hesitates. "Well…like fourteen and fifteen year olds. But it doesn't matter. That'll be us in—what? Four years? Piece o' cake." I stroll carefully to the edge and I look over as Lily watches. I hold my breath as I ready myself to jump. The great southern wind whips my hair around my pale face. Ominous thunderclouds brew dangerously in the far distance.
"Whacha waitin' for, Nessie?!" Violet shouts to me. I turn to face her, who is sitting on a busted up log about ten feet away from me. Her deep golden-brown eyes sparkle with anticipation.
"You're coming with us," I insist, wrenching her off the log and dragging her to the edge of the rocky cliff.
"No, no, please! I'm afraid of heights!" she begs.
"No you aren't," I correct, grasping her hand. "This will be fun!"
"Please, Violet?" Lily pleads. Her short white-blonde hair is let loose for once, and it blows wildly in the ferocious wind.
"No, you guys go on without me," Violet says.
Lily and I exchange glances. "Okay, fine," Lily manages.
"Thanks guys," Violet breathes.
Then Lily smirks and in unison, we say, "Denial!" I grab Violet's wrist, as does Lily, and we pull her to the ledge. Violet squeals. "Please don't make me!"
"Aw geez, Vi, you didn't put your wetsuit on for nothin', did ya?" I ask playfully.
"Yes, I did," she croaks, but Lily rips her sweater off and tosses it onto the log beside ours'.
"Would you jump even if today was your last day to live?" Lily says.
Violet snorts in reply.
"I take that as a yes!" Lily declares and grabs my hand excitedly. I snatch Violet's and feel the sweet-smelling breeze brush my hair from my forehead. The thunderclouds begin to clear and the sun's God Rays poured through the grey puffs. The deep river water stirs beneath us, a hundred feet away.
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Violet mutters as she shuts her eyes and holds her breath.
"To another great school year!" Lily shouts over the roaring wind. We step forward as the wind blows the clouds as quick speed through the blue sky, revealing the late afternoon sun as they part. The glare from the sun hits me just as I take my last gulp of air.
But then…a brief image of a familiar woman flashes through my mind: her chestnut brown locks fly around her pale face. The wind picks up and suddenly she runs forward, leaping off the cliff she is standing on. For a second, she is flying through the air, until she drops uncontrollably into the dark grey sea water beneath her. She struggles to claw her way to the surface as columns of silver bubbles engulf her…
"You ready, Ness?" Lily asks. Her innocent silver eyes are full of question.
I float back to reality and blink hard. "Of course! Let's go!!"
"Three…two…ONE!" Lily hollers as we sprint forward and jump into the air!"
"WOO HOO!!!" I scream. "Fifth grade, here I come!" But then I hear something…someone saying: "No, Renesmee, don't!"
"Violet!!" another deep male voice cries. Violet doesn't notice her name being called, though. So we fall, screaming for joy, as two unknown people mourn the fact that my cousin and I just jumped over that cliff in an act of recreation.
My breath escapes from my lungs as we fall. The wind is so strong that it blows my bronze hair back and whips it around my face. Lily shrieks once more, then we plunge into the deep unknown…
I feel the iciness spreading through my feet, then shoot up my legs and devour the rest of me. We are immersed in the piercing, frozen water of the river immediately, and the liquid floods my ears. But I continually recall the distressed call of the man. His voice was…oddly familiar. How did he know our names?
Maybe it was the Headmaster. That crazy old coot didn't know fun if it smacked him right in the face. Or maybe it was my stalker that scared Mable? What does he want with me? I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!!
I fight my way to the surface, breaking through and gasping for air. Lily and Violet pop up too.
"That...was…AWESOME!" Lily exclaims excitedly.
"I'm never doing that again," Violet pants. We tread water and splash each other playfully as the sun breaks through the last of the stormy clouds.
Then, something yanks me under the surface. I cough and twist through the water, my foot being pulled by something.
"Nessie!" I hear Lily and Violet yell desperately. I reach into the nothingness, trying to grab algae or rocks to bring me back. My breath is shortening as the water burns my throat and lungs. Suddenly, I black out.
Part II:
My head is throbbing. It beats with my pulse, swelling each time and making me dizzy. I open my eyes to see Violet and Lily sitting on a chunk of driftwood, wrapped in towels. They are dripping wet and have worried but stubborn expressions on their faces. They are…sideways? Which way is up? I turn onto my back and stare into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.
His whole face is stunning and so familiar. His eyes are like Violet's—golden topaz. They shine beautifully and his bronze tousled hair is absolutely perfect, despite the drops of water that drip down his face. His skin is a chalky white, like mine, and it sparkles like a thousand diamonds in the midday sun.
"Hello, Renesmee," he says, and his hypnotizing voice is as smooth as velvet. A soon as he speaks, a flash of images come to my mind. Then, it slows on one particular image…
A sterile room with a woman on the table is the setting. Her stomach is huge but she is in immense pain. She spazzes and jerks with every shock of agony. There are people running all around her, two in particular being a man with tan skin and black shaggy hair. The other has messy bronze hair, but his face is blurred. I try my hardest to see clearly, but I get nothing.
The woman's face is slowly turning blue as the blurred man growls, "CPR?"
"Yes!" the Native American boy shouts.
"Get her breathing! I've got to get him out before—" His voice is cut off by an awful, sick cracking noise. I jolt away from the table as her legs cripple.
"Her spine," Bronze chokes in horror.
"Get it out of her!" Shaggy snarls, flinging a sharp object at Bronze, "She won't feel anything now!" Suddenly, he bends over her and presses his lips to her mouth, breathing out huge puffs of air. A horrible shredding noise sounds throughout the room as blood splatters to the floor. I scream without noise and cover my ears with my hands, shutting my eyes.
"You stay with me now, Bella!" Shaggy yells at the woman. Bella. The name of my mother…
Her eyes were wheeling as I scramble to the door, my clammy hands grasping the knob. I try to pry it open, but as hard as I twist it, it stays shut. "Someone help me get out of here!" I scream, blood dripping down my clothes from what splattered on the floor.
And then, Bronze has something in his arms. Not something, but someone. A baby.
"Renesmee," Bronze whispers, his voice trembling.
"Let me…," Bella croaks in a broken whisper. "Give her to me…Renes…mee. So…beautiful." I slowly approach the table, cowering in fear at everything that is happening right in front of my eyes. The baby's matted bronze curls are thick and dark against the clumped blood. Her porcelain face is indeed beautiful, and her eyes are a warm milk chocolate. Under her cheeks are a flush of red—blush. She smiles, revealing her brilliant white teeth lying behind her shell-pink lips. But I realize something very, very wrong.
The baby girl is me.
*flashback ends* (Disclaimer: all Breaking Dawn quotes/characters/scenes in this section of the story are Stephenie Meyer's)
"Who are you?" I stutter nervously.
"I am Edward," he says. Suddenly, a jolt of flashbacks occur again. My head aches and I try to shake everything away. I rub my head and sigh audibly. "Are you alright?" Edward asks, his amber eyes meeting mine worriedly.
"What happened…?"
"You were pulled under by something," he says, his smooth voice only so recognizable.
Violet rolls her eyes. "Yeah, it was somethin' all right," she mutters. She gestures toward the man.
"It wasn't me," Edward says defensively. "You should be lucky enough that we were there, because I saved her."
"We?" I say, a little disoriented.
"Yeah," Lily snorts. "And that big scary dude over there." She motions to the big bulky muscular man with the same white skin and gold eyes. He has dark curly hair and dimples. He and this "Edward" guy look like they are up to no good.
"What are you doing here? On an all-girls' orphanage campus?" Violet asks, approaching us cautiously. The big man sits down on the log next to Lily, but sends Lily's side catapulting upward. She slides down at bumps into him, shaking with fear as he studies her carefully.
"You shouldn't be here," I say standing up. I waver unsteadily, but catch my balance. "The nuns will punish you."
"Nuns?" the big man asks incredulously.
"Yeah. Nuns," Lily snaps, scrambling over to Violet and me.
"Goodbye. Thank you sir," I say as we jog back to the large open prairie where the buildings are.
"Wait!" Edward calls. He appears in front of us with his friend so fast, you could "butterscotch" and he'd be there in front of you before you even said "utt".
"What do you want from us?!" Violet demands. Edward locks eyes with me. Again, a flashback: a girl with wavy brown hair who looks like Bella is in the corner of a ballet studio, writhing in pain. Blood is all over the wooden floor. A pale man with cropped sandy hair saunters over to her and kneels down. Bella begins to pant as her arms shake violently. The man takes one of them and with a knowing smile, bites down on her wrist. She screams in anguish, and as fast as lightning, a man jumps from the high shattered window and tackles him. They plow through the floorboards, the wooden beams flying everywhere. Then the tackler grabs his enemy by the collar and shoves him into a mirror with his foot. The glass buckles and shatters to the floor...
*flashback ends*
I look away from Edward's face and at the long blades of grass instead. "See?" Violet continues. "You make her sick just looking at you!"
"Renesmee," Edward repeats. There is another set of flashbacks. Shorter ones, just pictures and places I've been to and seen in another life. It makes my head spin.
"How do you know my name?" I barely manage to whisper. Edward takes a deep breath before continuing. "I know your mother," he says. "Bella."
Then, I quiver and a million pictures run through my mind again. One in particular sticks in my head: a little girl with wild auburn curls splashing red and black and blue paint onto paper with her bare hands. "Look, Mommy!" she exclaims, pointing enthusiastically to the picture.
"Wow! You have such amazing talent!" a thin, average-height woman says. She has long wavy mahogany hair and topaz eyes. Her skin is chalk white.
She looks like Edward.
*flashback ends*
But then I realize that she is the same woman in all my other memories. The girl leaping off the cliff, the one giving birth, the one in the ballet studio...the one that I suddenly remembered when I first awoke here.
My mother Bella.
Now even Violet and Lily are frozen. They stand motionless beside me and stare at Edward in disbelief.
"B-Bella?" I stammer.
Edward nods slowly.
I collapse into the man with a giant hug. He strokes my wet hair gingerly. "Is she alive?" I say.
"Yes," Edward replies. "She is indeed alive." I burst into tears and let the man comfort me. Edward lets go of me and looks me straight in the eyes. "We have some talking to do."
Part III:
Edward and I sit on the large rocks overlooking the restless dark grey river. It looks like an ocean.
"So...," I begin. "You say you know my mother—Bella. How?"
Edward hesitates. "Your mother and I are very, very good friends. We always talk." He pauses. "She had a hard time giving you up. A very hard time."
"Then why did she do it?"
He doesn't say anything for a long time. "Complications. It's hard to raise a family when you're young."
"How old is she?"
"Um...twenty-eight." It sounds like a lie, I don't argue.
"She had me when she was eighteen." I shudder and grasp the golden locket around my neck.
"Yes. Do you remember her at all?"
I breathe in, close my eyes peacefully, and smile, as if smelling her sweet skin again. "Of course. I was four when I arrived here, so I do have vague memories of her. Long, wavy brown locks...honey-gold eyes...chalky white skin...a beautiful smile..." I sniffle. "We used to spend so much time together. Especially in the end. It was just the two of us, living in an apartment in Seattle. She took me everywhere with her. Shopping, playing, and laughing; every day was a good day with her. Then one day, everything fell apart..." My eyes stare blankly in space as I recall that one day.
"Tell me more," Edward demands, almost hungry for more information.
"She was on the phone late at night with a woman. I believe the woman's name was Alice." Just then, another flashback: a small, pixie-like girl with spiky black hair warm topaz eyes, and the same white skin. She was grasping my hand, pulling me along, excitedly saying, "C'mon, Nessie! We're gonna go buy Mommy an awesome birthday present!"
*flashback ends*
"All I remember is hiding behind the wall and listening to her distressed words. She was crying so hard that I couldn't understand most of what she said...but I do remember her saying something like, 'How did they track us? How?! What do they want? We made a promise not to fight over her!' And then I realized that the 'her' Mom was referring to was me. My first thought was that someone was coming after me, even if it meant breaking some sort of agreement. And then, I thought that maybe this 'person' was the reason Mom and I were on our own in the first place. So that night, I crawled into Mom's lap and let her sob against me. I don't think she was technically crying, because there were no tears. But she was sobbing heavily...and she just held me. She shook and quivered and coughed and choked breathlessly. I'd...I'd never seen her so devastated in my entire life. She held me so tight, as if someone would swoop in right then and there and grab me from her. And I was scared...
"Then, all I remember is her walking me up the steps of this orphanage on a dark, cloudy day. Her hand was coiled around my wrist tightly, and for the first time I realized how rocklike and cold her skin was. So...so cold—like ice. She talked to a nun behind a desk in a small office for a little bit. Then she knelt down in front of me, held my shoulders, and said..." I freeze.
"What?" Edward insists. "What did she say??"
"I...I don't remember," I say miserably. "I don't know." Then I stiffen and my eyes stare blankly. Images flash vividly before me, like someone flipping through the channels at ultra-speed. It halts on a vision of Bella standing before me. Her amber eyes interlock with mine, and she looks deeply stressed. I find myself feeling six years younger, like a four year old: the day I entered the orphanage.
As the memory starts, I mouth Bella's words perfectly, reciting them to Edward all while hearing them play in my mind: "Renesmee, Mommy has to leave for a little while. You're going to stay here until I come to get you. It's fun here, I promise; there are a bunch of other girls who will become your friends. I don't know when I will come to get you, but I want you to remember that I love you so much. Be good, Renesmee."
Edward sits in silence for a second, brooding about who-knows-what. Then he says, "What did you, or she, do after that?"
"She kissed my forehead, got up, and walked out those big brass doors. I haven't seen her since. After she left, I was never the same. Me being young, I didn't know when she would come back. I was hoping within a few hours, but that obviously didn't happen.
"A few days after I arrived at the orphanage, Violet here showed up. A very pretty lady with blonde hair, white skin, and gold eyes brought her. But she left, too. She looked a little like Mom, with the skin and eyes. When we found out that our last names were both 'Cullen', we figured we were cousins. We didn't know for sure, but we both had pale skin. And Violet had the same eyes as Mom."
"I see," Edward says.
"Do you know my aunt, Violet's mom?"
"Yes," he almost grumbles.
"Do you know when our moms are coming to get us?"
Edward sighs sadly. "I don't know."
"Oh." I look at my feet and sniffle.
"Do you remember anything about your father?"
"His name was...Edward." I look up at the man in amazement. "Are you my father?!"
"Um, no," Edward says very quickly. "Coincidence, I swear." He pauses. "Do you know anything else?"
I try to think back. "No, to be honest."
For a second, Edward looks insulted. "That's a shame."
"It is," I agree half-heartedly. I open my locket gently and look down at the picture of Bella, me, and my father. He has reddish-brown hair, but his face is completely blurred. No matter how many ways I look at it, the cloud always stays opaque.
"Bella looks the same," Edward says, staring down at the picture with me.
"She does?"
"Yes. She misses you a lot."
I pout. "Then why doesn't she just come and get me? She knows where I am."
Edward shakes his head. "It's not as easy as that. Trust me."
I bite my lip and look down into the icy water. "I better be going."
"Of course," Edward says, helping me down from the rocks after leaping off lithely. "I'll see you tomorrow." He gives me a crooked grin and walks me back to the building, where his friend is with Violet and Lily.
"Let's go, Emmett," he calls to the man like he is his dog. "Goodbye Nessie and Violet."
Emmett waves, and then they are gone.
All through the night, I thought of Bella more than I ever thought I would. I toss and turn in my sleep, imaging her smiling face and her comforting laugh. Everything about Bella makes me more and more homesick, but at the same time it makes me long to see Edward again.
Then, I woke up.