June 30, 2009~

The rain pounds heavily against the roof of our dormitory at the orphanage. Lily stares out the window and leans against the cold glass, her breath leaving perspiration on the surface. "Ugh," she groans.

I place a quilt on the edge of my bed and sigh. "What's wrong?"

"It's raining."

"So?"

"We can't go outside tonight." Lily gets up and flops down onto her bed. "Stupid forecasters said it was supposed to be nice out."

I shrug. "It'd be dark by now anyway. Besides, it's after dinner and they wouldn't let us outside."

"They usually do," Lily snorts. "Actually, they always do. Especially during the summer."

I purse my lips and continue to fold my laundry that the nuns set out for us. "I'm sorry about you weather mishap, Lil."

"Yeah, yeah." Lily pauses. "Does that Eddie kid still come to talk to you?"

A soft pain reaches my heart and I look down. "He left a few days ago. He had to go home. But he said he'd be back very soon."

She shakes her head. "That's what they want you to think."

I shoot Lily a look of anger. "You don't know Edward like I do. He knows my mother."

"Hey didn't your mom say the same thing when she left you? 'I'll be right back.'"

"It…doesn't matter," I choke. "Mom was busy. She's still alive, and she'll be here any day. And Edward will be here too. He seems very sincere." I have to keep convincing myself that Edward was going to come back. If I don't convince myself, he'll never come.

"Yeesh. Don't be so snappy," Lily defends.

"You have no idea what it's like to have a mother!" I sputter before I realize what I am saying. "You have no idea, Lily! Your mom left you here when you were a baby, so you never knew her. Me, I knew my mom. Her name was Bella and she loved me. She still does and she wants me back!"

Lily narrows her eyes at me. "Oh, so you're so special now because you knew your mother?! What does that mean? Are you insinuating that my mother doesn't love me?!"

"That's not what I said!"

"Oh, well sorry I misheard you. 'Cause it sure sounds like that!!"

"I never said anything like that, Lily!"

"My mom could come back any day now! She was just too young! That's all; just like you. Just because a stalker didn't show up to tell me my mom was okay doesn't mean that she's dead."

"Edward's not a stalker," I growl. The heat rushes to my cheeks in fury.

"He scared the crap outta Mable in the library, Ness. He wasn't even allowed to be here. He wasn't even allowed to be talking to you! It's not allowed here."

"Well sorry I'm not the St. Scholastica's Human Handbook!" I hiss.

"I've been here longer than you," Lily snarls. "I know way more than you do. Heck, I could probably live out here in the wild longer than you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"It means that I'm way tougher than you! My whole life I've been surviving on my own. No one ever loved me like a daughter. I was left here on the steps like some sort of Harry Potter character, never to be seen again! But you? Oh, no, God forbid if you were left out on the steps here. Someone call the police, Nessie's been left out on the steps of an orphanage!"

"Just shut up."

"You were a spoiled brat when you were with her!" shouts, tears welling in her silver eyes. "You had everything. I had nothing and no one!"

"I wasn't a spoiled brat! Bella just tried to give me everything she could because she felt bad."

A tear rolls down Lily's cheek. "Oh yeah? When was the last time you got a Christmas present?" she asks, her voice quivering.

I hesitate. Is this a trick question?! "Um…when I was four, I guess."

"The last time I got one was the Christmas when I was in my mom's womb! I wasn't even alive yet! I was just a nuisance in my mom's life. I was just a wretched little thing that was making her fat!!!"

"How is that my fault???!!!"

Lily belly-flops onto her bed and buries her face in the pillows, crying.

"Fine," I say. "I'm leaving. I'm going down to the lobby, where people might actually want to see me." And with that, I storm out of the room fuming.

Part II:

Lightning illuminates the shadows of the room and sends flashes sprawling across the wooden floor. I snuggle deeper under the covers of my bed and slowly drift off to sleep…

It is bright and sunny outside in a huge meadow. The sun penetrates through the grey clouds and sends rays streaming down into the grass where I am standing. A luscious forest surrounds me, blossoming with green leaves and flowers. All of a sudden, I hear footsteps behind me. I turn and see Bella standing there in a long white dress with her dark brown hair draped over her shoulders.

"Mommy?" I whisper I look down at myself. My tiny features and squeaky voice tell me that I am four years old again.

"Renesmee, dear," Bella greets warmly. "Where have you been?"

I shrug. "I don't know. Where have you been, Mommy?"

Bella sighs and takes me into her arms cradling me against her chest. "I've been protecting you, love."

I cock my head. "Protecting?"
Bella's expression turns grave. "You aren't safe with me, Renesmee. I tried my hardest, but I just can't keep you out of harm's path."

"What do you mean?"

"I can't keep you, love. I'm sorry."

And with that, she gets up and begins walking away, but suddenly we are in…our old apartment in Seattle? Bella is walking toward the door as I run to her and yank on her hand.

"Momma, where are you going?" I ask anxiously.

But when she looks down at me, her face is not Bella's.

An angel face glares at me with glowing red eyes and dark, chin-short hair framing her face. Her skin is so white that it is almost transparent.

"Hello, Nessie," she growls. "I just figured I'd drop in to say hello."

Suddenly, I am much taller, about this girl's height. My hair is shorter, cut to my upper back, and I have long jagged side bangs. My voice is deeper as I reach out for the door but feel a sharp pain in my wrist as the girl slaps it and snarls at me.

I run back through the kitchen but she chases right after me, glass shattering to the floor as she tries to grab me.

"Come back, Nessie! You can't run from all your problems!" she shouts after me as I sprint, panting, into Bella's closet. I shut the door and crouch behind the thick hanging coats in the way back. Who is this psychopath? I ask myself silently as I hear her approaching closer.

"You can't hide from me," the demon girl hisses, peeking through the crack in the door. All of a sudden, she rips the doors off their hinges as I make a desperate break for the front door. My sweaty hands claw frantically at the locks. There are about twenty of them, all sealed shut with weird lock combinations and latches and keys.

"No, please," I beg. "Not now…please open…"

"Oh, Nessie," Demon coos from the kitchen. Her feet step across the shattered glass as she nears the door. I panic and decide to give up with the locks, making a break for the window.

"You can't keep running!" she echoes, dashing after me.

I make it to the back window in my old bedroom as a little girl, fling the latch open, and swing the windows open. Below me, the city is alive and moving quickly.

"Nessie," Demon growls, approaching behind me.

I turn hastily to find her jumping at me. I gasp and duck away from her, shielding my face with my hands. Then, everything goes black.

"Nessie?! Nessie, where are you going; what are you doing???" a familiar voice cries, grabbing my shoulders.

"Let go of me, Demon!" I shout, clawing desperately at the large door knob on the big brass entryway to the orphanage.

"Nessie!" the girl hollers as I begin running down the slippery wet steps of the building. Rain dumps from the sky like a waterfall and splashes on the ground. When I reach the bottom of the steps, I try to run from the Demon but fly forward and splash in the mud. Water washes over me and the sloshing brown dirt cakes in my clothes and hair. My eyes snap open and I stare up into the black sky suddenly when I realize that I'm dreaming. Lily appears next to me, drops sliding down her face and drenching her clothes.

"W-where am I?" I stutter, running my hands through my knotted locks.

"We're outside in the rain," Lily whispers, her voice barely audible over the roar of the wind and downpour. "I think you were sleepwalking." She pauses and looks down at her feet, her soaked hair separating into drippy strings. "Ness, are you still mad at me?"

I blink a few times and squint through the sheets of rain to get a good glimpse at Lily's hard-to-read-expression. From my vague vision, I see a bit of sadness carved into her childlike features.

"Of course not," I say quietly.

"You called me a Demon," Lily murmurs.

I stare at the ground for a very long time before answering. "It wasn't you, Lily. I was dreaming. There was a demon girl in my dream…I'm sorry you misunderstood."

Lily nods. "It's alright. Hey, Ness, I'm sorry about before too."

I look up at her, the rain cutting into my eyes as it poured from the night atmosphere. "It's okay. I know you mean it. You wouldn't do it on purpose."

She sniffles and looks down at me, beads of rain sticking to the edges of her long eyelashes. "Your mom is still out there, Ness. She'll come and find you. She loves you." Lily sits down in the mud beside me and I place my head on her shoulder. "Your mom will come too, Lily. No one can just be left here."

"Yeah, they can. Like me," Lily says, hesitating at first, but then she continues bravely. "My mom Rena was the captain of the cheerleading squad in her senior year at high school. My dad Alex was the star quarterback on the varsity football team. After the championship game, they went to a friend's party and didn't know what they were in for. When Rena found out she was pregnant, she was angry at me. She didn't see how it was Alex's fault, even though it was way obvious, and she blamed everything on me.

"Alex wanted to help Rena after she started taking drugs to keep herself calm. He tried to tell her it was bad for me, but she wouldn't listen. She took a lot of pills every day to stay relaxed. Everyone tried to stop her, but then she ran away from home. I don't know where she went, but eventually Alex found her and threatened to call the police if she kept taking these pills, because she was killing his child. Rena didn't care; after I was born, she simply got up and left the hospital. Just like that. She left Alex there with a newborn baby and no clue how to raise a child. So Alex brought me here a few days later and that was that."

I sit there, shocked. I had no idea that Lily had such a sad story; she never mentioned anything about her parents. "How do you know all this?"

"Sister Rosemary told me, because she was here when I arrived ten years ago. Alex told her."

"Oh, Lily," I say softly. I wrap my arms around her. "I had no idea. Really, I didn't."

"It's okay," Lily sniffs. "Sister Rosemary just told me a few days ago."

"There's still hope," I promise weakly. "Alex sounds like he loves you. He must miss you."

Lily shakes her head. "He doesn't love me. He just didn't want to see Rena kill me because I was a human being. I was his human being." She sighs and looks out into the dark swaying trees. "He didn't do anything. He just stood there and stared at me like I was an alien or something. And he panicked. He didn't want to be known as 'Alex the Daddy'. He still wanted to be 'Alex the Quarterback'. So he abandoned me. He didn't even try."

"Take it easy, Lil," I say quietly, trying hard not to upset her fragile emotions. "He was eighteen when this happened. He's still just a kid. Give 'em a break."

I flinch away, expecting Lily to backfire with some awful comment, but instead she remains motionless and says, "Yeah, you're right. Alex was just a kid." She shakes her head. "He's probably married by now, so he's never coming back."

"Think positive. I still think Bella will come. And Edward will come back and bring me home to Washington where Mom is." I inhale deeply, thinking about how wonderful life will be when I go home to Bella again…

"C'mon," Lily says, taking my hand and dragging me to my feet. "We better get inside before any of the nuns see us."

"Okay," I reply, grinning. I follow her inside, but my bare foot squishes something into the mud; a chain.

"Oh, no! Lily, my locket!!" I cry over the approaching thunder. I reach down and pick up the broken chain necklace of my golden locket. Tears well in my eyes as I stare at the dripping metal hopelessly. The picture of me and Bella is drenched in goopy mud. The man's face is still blurry.

"Lily, it's broken. No one can fix it now."

Lily guides me up the steps and through the brass doors. "We'll fix it in the morning, Ness. Right now we have to go to bed."

Then, I woke up.