Chapter 62 - Infirmaries
Mai'tac—Lantash, what happened?
I do not know, Larys; they were trying to escape when I found them.
If they were awake then, it increases their chances.
Increases?
Lantash, you must wait outside, Samantha and Jolinar need urgent care.
...
Rosha is coming, Jolinar, and she will ask once more.
I cannot give up.
And I cannot bring you down with me. The Jaffa will be on her heels, and you must leave. You must survive and return to our people.
All three of us may yet escape, Elista—we are still strong.
Not enough, Jolinar. Not enough.
I am Tok'ra. I do not use my host as an escape.
You are Tok'ra, and so you do what your host wishes, and the rest is for the good of all. I am not asking, Jolinar, I am telling. If you resist more, I will use all your guilt against you—please, Jolinar, do not push me to that. You must leave.
I—
Rosha is coming. Accept her offer, and live.
Then was all this torment for nothing?
It was for the good of the Tok'ra, that you will carry till your dying day.
And what of my promise to you, Elista?
Fulfilled, Jolinar. Now leave, before I must face my death knowing I condemned you. Do not watch. I do not want your last memory of me to be of guilt. Go!
...
She is not in a coma, nor even fully unconscious. Our devices are giving us trouble.
Larys, do not look at us like that...
Martouf, Lantash, you must not hold on so tightly. Nothing is certain yet. She is weak and gravely injured, but above all a poison runs through Jolinar. Quetesh has given her something not deadly to symbiotes, but something much worse. It keeps her from healing and what has now seeped into Samantha's veins reacts strongly against our healing device. If we try, it will certainly kill her.
So then—
If they live, it will be on their own power. Jolinar's system is overcoming the poison, if slowly, and Samantha's body is slowly working towards a natural healing. I do not know if we can give them enough strength to finish, but they are not dying yet.
How long until...something certain is known?
Long enough that you will need rest, and more than you get by their bedside. Martouf, rest. You are not the only one concerned. At least Selmak is wise enough to know when it does more harm to wallow in worry.
...
Is the pain temporary?
Oh, Rosha—oh, no.
Then you must live as if it doesn't touch us, or we may as well not live.
That is impossible.
Then pretend it is not. Let's just pretend that nothing is impossible, Jolinar.
And when it is, Rosha?
We'll know it then, and it won't matter what we know. But for now, I want us to succeed. We will succeed.
Until I lose you too.
I'm not going any time soon, Jolinar. And if that's all you're going to think for that time, then it's going to be a downer the whole way. We can do anything, Jolinar. Just push away the pain, and live. Live.
...
Past and present blurred in a cloud, the accompaniment to Sam and Jolinar's fight with death. They couldn't consciously know what it was, even as their minds sought the memories that only seemed random. All they could do was fight, figuratively back to back, all weapons at hand, warring the specter of death that grabbed at them with no break.
ooooooo
"It's been a week and a half," said Thomas, circles under his eyes. He was sitting farthest from the gate.
Matthews ignored him, jaw set as he dialed the Alpha Site again. "Two weeks, Thomas. That's the deadline."
The campsite on P3X-808 lay in disarray. At first they'd tried to keep it neat, with little else to do. But even Daniel started to go mad with the busywork, and now it was all the waiting game. Wait long enough that the leaders on the Alpha Site would give them what they needed—something to do.
Lewis flicked rocks on the ground with his toe. SG-6 was all required to be by the gate at every update, just in case there was some urgent mission. Sha're and Shifu still slept in her and Daniel's tent, as Sha're had tried to do for the past few days. Shifu did not change his behavior just because Earth might be destroyed, but with nothing else on the schedule, Sha're could steal her hours of sleep at many more times.
Daniel paced, knowing that Dr. Donald was watching him and annoyed, but needing something to do. He couldn't sit like the rest of them.
Finally the wormhole engaged, and Matthews sent his GDO signal in for verification.
The answer was loud enough for them all to hear on the radio. "Oh thank god you've contacted this early. Good news, SG-6. We're going home."
Everyone's head jerked up, and Daniel almost tripped as his step caught. He stared at the gate, watched as Matthews opened his mouth to speak, closed it, cleared his throat, and tried again. "Say again, Alpha Site?"
"We just had contact with Earth."
"Yes!" Lewis jumped to his feet, punching the air.
Daniel felt his breath catch in his chest, the tension leaving his limbs.
"Really?" Matthews asked, after he had to clear his throat again.
"Yes sir. If you'll just come through, it's kind of a long story, or so we hear."
"Absolutely," said Matthews. He put the radio down, turning to the group. "Gather your basic things; we can leave the major clean-up for later." A wide grin framed his broad face. "We're going home, guys."
Daniel found his brain, and made his way the few steps back to the camp swiftly. The tent door opened before he got there, and Sha're poked her head out, hair all askew.
"What is it?" she asked.
Daniel swept her in his arms. "Earth isn't destroyed," he whispered in her hair.
"Oh Daniel," she breathed out, squeezing him close.
"We're going to the Alpha Site to hear the news, right now," said Daniel. "Can you come?"
"I will just pick up Shifu," Sha're said, smiling brightly for the first time in at least a week.
Daniel let her go, following her in the tent to grab the bag that had Shifu's things in it. He turned around, and there was Sha're with Shifu whining tiredly in the blanket in her arms. He put his arm around her shoulder, and they walked quickly to the gate. The rest of SG-6 was through, but Matthews had waited for them.
"Today was our lucky day," he said, grinning.
And with that, they walked through together.
ooooooo
Jolinar woke first, if it could be called waking. Her mind found the sensations of reality instead of the surreality of the dreamworld. Not a memory, not a dream. She thought she might regret it as soon as she felt pain, but she didn't.
She felt her body well-supported by pillows, the soft feel of bandages over the wounds she could remember. She breathed in, felt the pull on the stab wound, and felt the tightness of the healing wound on her face. But it was a low throb, barely there. The burn and buzz of the torture stick and the poison were almost gone, and she felt the splints on her fingers, resting just to the side of her stomach. Her mouth wasn't dry, and she didn't feel starving somehow.
Her eyes didn't want to open, and she tried to look for Samantha. She was still asleep, and for all her protesting, Jolinar knew that Sam had taken the harder beating. Jolinar knew what she was expecting, and if it was worse it was only because she couldn't heal anything. Even the hara'kash, though designed to hurt her alone, had been nothing she wasn't able to foretell. But Samantha had not only been unscathed by this in the past, she had borne a heavier burden as Jolinar lay almost unconnected. She'd fought with every last strand, and Jolinar didn't know how to appreciate such effort.
She could feel her host still deep in exhausted slumber, and Jolinar felt the pull herself. This moment of euphoric lessening of pain was an illusion, and Jolinar could feel the deep damages still remaining. She hadn't fought back the poison enough to heal.
This time she welcomed the darkness to cover her and Samantha, let them heal in the oblivion. Just before she lost reality again, without opening her eyes, she heard and felt someone by her side. Was it her mate, his worry overcoming his duty? It was nothing she hadn't done in the recent past, but part of her did not want to be so selfish as to accept it here. But perhaps it was her host's father, and Selmak, and that was almost as comforting a thought.
Sleep took her again, and she felt secure in it.
ooooooo
Daniel breathed in the scent of the gateroom as he stepped through to the SGC, more than two weeks since he'd last been there. Mckay stood waiting for him.
"Good to see, Rodney," said Daniel, putting a hand to the man's shoulder as he descended the ramp, Sha're on his other side.
"Yeah, well, I have a hard time understanding what it's been for you," Mckay said, not flinching under the touch. "Two weeks, really?"
"Believe me, I counted every day," said Daniel. "Jack and Dixon?"
"Teal'c's keeping watch," said Mckay, beckoning towards the hall. "They should be up soon, though."
"I'm still confused," Daniel admitted as they walked. "All I heard was that everything was fine, damaged but fine. And because of a black hole here?"
"No, no, no," Mckay corrected. "The black hole was not here. That's a, impossible, and b, inescapable."
Daniel smiled. "Yes, I know that. That's why it was confusing."
"Ah, good," said Mckay. "I've had to correct so many idiotic assumptions...no, the black hole was only putting some of its effects through the gate. Enough to pull us all in, but not enough to destroy the gate. Neither is a shape charge, also."
"How did you figure to use that?" Daniel asked. "Do I even know what a shape charge is?"
"Probably not," said Mckay lightly. "But you don't need to. It was my idea—well, Jean helped a bit, but it wasn't hard to see that the military was wrong. It was just finding out what was right. Do you know they thought the self-destruct would help?"
"I don't think I was told that," said Daniel, thinking. "So our way home really was on the line—we guessed something other than a black hole, but still."
They entered the recovery area of the infirmary and Daniel saw Jack and Dixon. He hadn't been too concerned, after he'd been urged to relax so many times, but it was good to have visual proof that things weren't too bad.
"So Jack and Dixon stayed to blow it up?" Daniel asked, more quietly as they joined Teal'c by their comrades' sides.
"Oh no," said Mckay. "The general wouldn't let Dixon go, since he's got a family. It was Jack and some military guy he knew who did die. Dixon was knocked out by a flying bit of metal drawn to the gate, as we made our way out of the mountain."
Daniel couldn't help a smile at that.
Sha're leaned over to him. "Dan'yel, I wish to get Shifu to sleep."
"Go ahead, I'll wait here," Daniel answered, nodding. "If they wake up, I'll call you back."
"Thank you for saving our lives, Doctor," said Sha're on her way out, almost a playful look on her grateful smile.
Mckay took it straight, pausing with his mouth half open. "Uh, sure. It was my planet at stake, you know."
"Doesn't mean we're not all grateful to you and Jean," said Daniel honestly. "We really thought Earth might be lost."
"Well, it could be if we ever try to contact that planet again," said Mckay. "We calculated that it will be years before the time dilation makes it so that the planet is actually destroyed."
"So that gate address is off limits," said Daniel.
Mckay gave him a look. "Yeah."
"Do you know what the Pentagon thinks of the whole thing?" Daniel asked, realizing the greater issues. Earth had almost been destroyed. That wasn't really acceptable in the new status quo.
Mckay shrugged. "Can't really know."
"Captain Carlsworth seemed most appreciative," commented Teal'c, his first words since their arrival.
Daniel glanced to him. "Who?"
"Oh him," Mckay said, smirking. "Some young military aide, said that the time dilation meant that the base wasn't using resources for those two weeks, and that budget cut should make up for the near-Earth-destruction thing."
Daniel smiled again.
"Daniel?" Jack's voice came, slightly cracked but questioning all the same.
Daniel and Mckay turned to the bed.
"Hey Jack," said Daniel. He smiled at the Colonel's slightly incredulous face. "Did I miss anything?"
The facetiousness brought Jack back to reality. "I made it?"
"Yes, yes, you did," said Mckay. "Teal'c here pulled you out in time."
Jack let the words sink in for a second. "Thanks," he said, looking to Teal'c.
"You are welcome," said Teal'c simply.
"It worked, by the way," said Mckay. "The energy jumped gates after the shape charge went off, and we shut off the gate. Oh, and it's been two weeks for everyone else."
Daniel was slightly amused to see that hit Jack more than the rest. Jack let his head plop back on the pillow. "Two weeks. I think I'll sleep in, okay?"
Mckay shared a look with Daniel, who nodded. "Well," the scientist said, "you're going to have to do something while we install the new trinium-enhanced iris."
Daniel blinked. "Wait, new iris?"
"Oh, did you miss that?" Mckay asked.
"The black hole sucked in our iris, man," said Dixon from the other bed.
"Ah, you're awake too," said Mckay. "Good, good. But it didn't literally suck—that's not really the way to describe the pull of gravity."
"Listen, I just woke up," said Dixon, a bandage around his head giving him the war hero look. "Let me go back to sleep before you go off on science, okay? Science almost killed me."
Mckay rolled his eyes, but shut his mouth.
"I should check on Sha're, then," said Daniel. The information, though relieving, was quite a shock to him. He wondered if Sha're would need Mckay to explain more about the black hole—then again, she might have learned that already. And they needed a new iris. That was something else.
"Crisis over, back to being shortchanged," said Mckay with a sigh, following Daniel out of the infirmary. Teal'c stayed behind, something Daniel found momentarily fascinating. "Then again, we do have a mission in a week and a half."
Daniel shrugged. Earth was safe—what else mattered in the end?
ooooooo
Sam started to wake, not with the feeling of restfulness, but with a heavy weariness in her very core. And yet, it was better than before—that was wrong, but somehow comforting.
She found Jolinar immediately, sleeping less soundly and waking immediately. Sam felt instantly how much more whole she was, and the renewed connection made even the weariness acceptable.
~Are we okay?~ she asked.
*We are moving that way,* Jolinar said, the thin quality of her voice on Quetesh's ship gone, and the fullness back, even if the vitality was still just out of reach. *Quetesh did not fully damage me; I am nearly returned to normal function, if not health.*
A bit of the weariness seemed to dissipate the longer Sam was awake. She sighed inwardly, relieved that it was not just a hope and a dream. ~Jolinar?~
*Hmm?*
~I'm sorry for all this.~ Sam didn't know why it had come to her now, before she was even fully awake. But somehow she remembered that they had only found Quetesh on Sam's desire, for Sha're's sake, and that was all because of Sam too.
There was a pause, but it was one of incredulity. *I would not have had it any other way, not were worlds offered.*
Sam took a deep breath, a certain freeness in her lungs at that. Some pain was gone, but also the tension. ~I missed you there for a while,~ she admitted.
*Likewise,* Jolinar said simply.
A lump rose in Sam's throat, but she wasn't strong enough to focus on this yet. Whatever this was, whatever they had just escaped together. Whatever wasn't resolved simply by running away. Sam was fully awake, and now her mind drifted to things physical.
There was a soft light beyond her closed eyelids, but she didn't want to open them yet. She went through her body mentally, feeling each part and limb, and gingerly assessing the resting pain. Most of the stinging and burning from the superficial cuts was gone, now that they were covered and felt to be healed. Her hand was stabilized so that no involuntary twitch would give her pain.
And then she noticed her face. She breathed through her nose, but even the little muscle movements felt tight, pulling against the cut. ~That will scar,~ she thought, envisioning the stitches-like bandage that would be needed to hold it together. Jolinar didn't understand immediately, and it only took Sam a second to realize why and be confused on her own. Wait, scarring? She could just barely recall her first arrival here, and the healing device that had dealt with almost everything in minutes.
*Something must be wrong,* thought Jolinar with a small surge of worry. She couldn't feel what it might be.
Something was teasing at Sam's memory, something that told her she should probably know the answer. Had she heard it, or guessed it? Why couldn't she remember now?
She noticed her brow wrinkling by the tightness increasing on her face, and she immediately smoothed it out. That still hurt. She and Jolinar heard a rustle by their side, and then a gentle brushing touch on her arm that thankfully didn't hurt.
Her eyelids flickered, and the light wasn't too much, so she barely squinted as she opened them. Above her, the familiar crystal of Tok'ra ceilings. Beneath her, the soft supporting comfort of their infirmary beds. And as her peripheral vision cleared, there was a face she'd always be happy to see.
"Samantha?" Martouf asked hesitantly, as if even a noise might damage her.
Her eyes almost closed as she had to hold back and not smile. Her lips barely moved, but she could speak. "Martouf."
His touch strayed from her arm to her bandaged hand as he sat by her right side. She couldn't feel it there, but the knowledge was enough.
"Jolinar and I—we are alive," she said, voice small as she was careful to shape the words. Her head almost started to throb at the sudden sound, but not quite.
"After much worrying on our parts, I think we finally believe that," Martouf said, the hint of a weary smile on his face.
Sam needed a deeper breath after her words, and before she could speak again. "Why are we not healed?" she asked, frustratingly unable to speak at barely more than a whisper.
Jolinar was at the back of her mind, slowly examining the underpinnings of this health, looking for the answer in all the clues. But she hadn't found one, and waited with Sam for an answer.
"The poison you were given," said Martouf, brow creasing as his hand gently covered hers. "When we tried to use the healing device, the reaction was disastrous. We could have lost you both from that alone, had we continued. All we could do was provide the nutrients and hope that your strength, Samantha, would carry you until the poison was defeated by Jolinar."
That sounded vaguely familiar, but more, it made sense. Jolinar had not felt this weary since she recovered from the Blood of Sokar, and even though Sam had more experience with a continual weakness, somehow she had grown to expect something else in these past four months. No healing device, and Jolinar said that she could tell her own healing powers were not restored to her yet, which explained the rest.
But then—Sam's mouth turned in the slightest bit of a frown, all she could manage without courting pain. They were somewhat healed, she could feel it. If that was all her own body's doing... "How long have we slept?"
"Four days," said Lantash, and they had not noticed the change.
Their minds reeled—had it been that bad?
Lantash noticed the surprise in her face. "Samantha, you and Jolinar were traversing a very thin line between life and death," he said, looking her in the eye. There was the deep pain of long worry in there. "It is testament to your strength that you have even awakened this much."
Jolinar could comprehend it now, and Sam was starting to. But almost two weeks. It had been almost two weeks since Quetesh had come to Dorieth. And at that word, she felt an involuntary tension, almost a shudder running through her. No, she couldn't even think it yet. She closed her eyes for a second, and let Jolinar come forward. She seemed to understand this more.
Jolinar didn't think it, but in a way Sam understood just from the emotions that she remembered what she'd told Sam in that prison cell. About the time she'd wanted to keep hidden. The long recovery, that had never been fully completed, only abandoned and brushed over for the sake of living a semi-normal life. Jolinar knew that there was much similar here, even if she'd only realized it now.
"My love," she murmured. Lantash smiled, and bent to brush a light kiss to her forehead. "What now?" she asked.
"Now I let Selmak and Samantha's father free from their worry," Lantash said. "That is all the now you need."
And Jolinar knew that. It had been an automatic question, borne of duty, but she couldn't feel it. She wasn't strong enough yet.
~My father,~ thought Sam, suddenly remembering. All those days, and she'd never once considered what would happen to him if she hadn't made it. For all that she'd expected it, she never truly comprehended what it meant.
*And now, it is not so easy to accept as an idea,* Jolinar said quietly.
They were not so ready to give up life. Assuming they found it again—for now they needed to survive, fully.
Jolinar's eyelids started to droop. "Thank you," she murmured, not knowing till know how much she'd wanted for them to be saved.
"For failing until the last moment?" Jolinar heard Lantash's words, even if her eyes were almost closed so that she did not see his face. "I cannot accept it."
The lump settled firmly in Jolinar's throat, and it was far too much emotion to handle now. But she felt loved and safe, and for the moment she had no duty to consider. As she and Sam survived, they could accept this love with no distractions.
Jolinar swallowed, as the love she felt was the last impression on her mind as she fell into healing sleep again. She barely even noticed that Sam's love was with hers, and Sam's confusing thoughts on that fact completely escaped her.