helllo...so school started and therefore i have not updated as i should...sorry but as you know the tale is winding down and therefore...things are slowish so forgive me...however i see a sequal coming on soon...with kings and turks...perhaps undead sheriffs?? just kidding....but he did it before maybe he can do it again...so hope you all like this i have got some rob/mar loving...for reall this time so thats cool...and we get closer to the answer of what to do with clara...thank you jonasluva, gizzysgirl candyflossgirl...Liisa...cindy...alll of you are sooo sweet...please read review enjoy

Disclaimer: I do not own robin hood bbc...but i do own the joy i felt due to BBC America's showing of Robin Hood season 3 on Sept 12th!!! (so robin hood no....joy yes)

Chapter Thirty Two: My Choice

"What is your answer Guy?" Marian asked.

Guy closed his eyes and sighed.

He put down his sword which made Marian very happy.

"Guy?"

Guy wanted Clara. He needed her. He wanted to give her everything he owned. He had given her his soul already, there wasn't much else he owned. But, though he knew he needed her he did not know if she needed him. Did Guy truly deserve someone that special and beautiful?

Guy was a monster waiting to attack any innocent bystanders.

What if that innocent bystander was the child he loved?

What if he hurt her because he got angry one day and lost his temper? Guy glanced at Marian. She was not a murderer. She would not lose her temper with her daughter. She did not kill men in cold blood because of ambition. Because of the promise of power and glory.

Not that glory mattered to Guy anymore.

Marian would raise her better than he ever could. And if he was broken then so be it. If he was weakened, then that was that. If every pinch of goodness that dared to occupy Guy's essence was ripped from him than that was the way it was supposed to be.

Guy took a deep breath.

Saying no meant an end to Clara.

Saying yes meant an end to himself.

So Guy, as always, thought of the girl he loved, and not his own needs. Perhaps, on retrospect, this was not normal Guy behavior. But, things had changed since the black days in Nottingham. Guy had grown into a different man. He had been made anew.

The killer cared now.

The murderer loved now.

So now, he was prepared to give up everything, all the pieces of his heart that could love, that could be good, and all for the child of his heart.

Guy looked at Marian. "Yes."

Marian's eyes widened. Robin's heart leapt in his chest.

"Can you say that again?" asked Stephan.

"Just a little louder," asked Much who was grinning from ear to ear.

The last thing Guy wanted was a repetition of his death sentence. But, it did not matter anymore…anything mattered.

Guy nodded. "Yes, I will second the annulment."

Meg looked at Guy and saw his pain. She was sure that he was not this sore over loosing Marian. If he was truly sore he would not give up that easily. Come to think of it, if he really loved Marian, he wouldn't have stopped here in Meg's house.

He stopped for Clara.

He valued her well-being over his own. Obviously, he would have known that any delay could mean that something like this would happen.

The gears in Meg's mind began turning swiftly as the pieces of this puzzle began to grow clear.

All that Guy had said and had reacted to, suggested this.

It was Clara.

Guy had wanted to run away with Marian so that he could be with Clara. His stalling of the annulment, his second guessing, was also for Clara.

He cannot lose her. If he loses her then he will lose every ounce of goodness. He will lose everything.

Meg looked down at the child she held. How could something that innocent cause so much trouble? And yet, at the same time, this child caused goodness in a man who lived decades of evil. Meg could not fathom that kind of power. The power a child has over a parent.

She held no power over her mother she was sure of it.

Otherwise her mother would not have left her, her husband, and her country far behind.

Meg chanced a glance at Guy. How could he do this?

Guy's heart was pounding. His head was pounding. Why was he doing this? Why? Why? What possible reason could he have for this?

Then he saw Marian turn around and smile at Robin.

He saw Robin smile at Marian.

They were in love.

Was that why he has said yes? Was that the reason for his brain to choose that word over the other, more negative, word? Their love? A love he knew he would never experience. Now that Clara was gone, he was sure that he would never be happy.

No. He knew why he had said yes.

It was not for the woman who did not love him. It was for the girl who loved him too much and with too much innocence. It was for Clara that he sacrificed his happiness.

Now Stephan was walking towards the three of them with Much by his side.

Stephan stood in front of Guy and Marian. "I need to ask you a few questions."

"What?" asked Guy.

"Firstly, who was the priest that married you?"

Guy shrugged and looked at Marian.

"I don't remember," she said. "A priest that was in the castle."

Guy looked at Stephan. "Does it make a difference?"

"I was just wondering for curiosity's sake."

Marian rolled her eyes. "What would a real question be?"

"Who gave you away? Who were your witnesses?" asked Stephan.

"The same person," said Marian, "Allan."

"I assume he is around here somewhere," said Guy in a monotonous voice.

Now Robin, like Meg, noticed his bitterness. He raised an eyebrow. If Guy did not want this, then why had he said yes?

What was going on with Guy?

He had jumped in to stop Robin from his confession, but he had not killed him. He could have, and yet he did not. There was something eating away at Guy's newly found goodness, and it was not Marian leaving him.

Robin knew that. He could see that.

And Meg saw Robin's eyes scan Guy for any clues as to the true reason for all of this.

"He is here," said Robin. "I am not sure where."

"I'll help you look," volunteered Meg, before Much could say anything.

Everyone suddenly turned to Meg.

"What?" she asked innocently. "Look," she pointed to Stephan, "you need to stay here to oversee this annulment." She then turned to Much, "You need to stay to make sure that they go through with it." Then she looked at Guy and Marian. "I assume you both know why you need to stay right?"

Meg walked to Guy and handed him Clara. She winked at him and then followed Robin out the door and into the midday sunlight.

"So why did you come with me?" asked Robin who had stopped walking to look at the woman he had just met.

Meg bit her lip. "Because you had that look in your eye."

"What look?"

"You saw that there was something wrong too," said Meg.

"Wrong with what?" asked Robin confused.

"With Guy," answered Meg.

Robin nodded. "There is something wrong with him. But I cannot put my finger on it."

The two began walking again. "I think I know what it is."

"Care to share it with the group?" asked Robin.

"Clara."

Robin furrowed his brow. "You think so?"

Meg shrugged. "From what he has told me about her, the way he acted back there, it does seem that way. To me at least."

So then Robin thought back to when he had seen Guy. Seen the new Guy.

He had seen him broken and torn, not because Marian was at sword point, but because Clara was. And Robin had taken into account too that Guy had nearly fallen apart when Robin said Clara was his child. That probably killed Guy.

So, when Robin told him the truth, Guy had repaid by telling him about Marian's true feelings.

And then Robin thought it would have ended there.

But Guy must have realized something later that night. He must have realized that he would lose her. The little girl who held onto his heart in her tiny palm was going to take his heart and leave him.

Things started to become very clear to Robin Hood.

He looked at Meg. "I think you are right Meg."

"We need to find Allan, and then we will sort this out," she said.

Robin nodded. "Do you hope for this annulment like I do?"

Meg blushed. She said nothing.

"Answer me one thing."

"What?"

"Gisborne?" asked the hero. "Really?"

Meg nodded. "Is it that hard for you to believe?"

Robin nodded and grinned. "Yes. Guy of Gisborne is a murderer! You saw what he was capable of, he has done far worse things back in England."

"He was a killer I do not doubt that," said Meg. "But he is not now. Not unless he has to become a killer to defend those he loves. He did not kill you Robin, he did not want that kind of deed on his hands, because of her."

"Clara," said Robin.

"Clara," echoed Meg.

There was silence until Meg said, "We need to find Allan."

"And you need to answer my question," Robin reminded.

"Guy and I have similar pasts. We have both felt abandonment and loneliness. We have both felt anguish and pain. I do not think it was an accident that he came over last night."

"You believe in fate?" he asked the girl.

"You believe in fate," said Meg.

Robin raised a brow.

"You believe that you and Marian are destined to be together, otherwise you would have given up searching for her," explained Meg.

"We are meant to be together," said Robin.

"And you do not think that Guy is meant to be with someone?" Meg retorted.

Robin shrugged. "I confess I did not. Though, perhaps I should have considered that someone would be able to see his goodness."

"Let's look for Allan," suggested Meg.

The two of them began calling out Allan's name until Allan saw them and waved them over.

He was with John. They were trying to ask people if they had seen a man who looked like Robin walk by. But, it was going pretty slow since neither man knew French.

"Oi!" called Allan.

Robin and Meg walked to where the two men stood.

"Who is this?" asked John pointing to Meg.

"Long story," said Robin.

"Long what?" asked Will. He, Djaq, and Eve noticed the presence of their leader and walked over to him.

"Sh!" said Allan. "Robin's about to tell us a story about a girl."

"Robin!" Djaq shook her head.

"It is not like that," said Meg. "I'm in love with his love's husband."

"And in English that means what, exactly?" asked Allan.

"She is in love with Guy," answered Robin.

"What?" Will almost spat.

"Come again?" Allan blinked.

John shook his head wordlessly.

"Guy?" asked Djaq.

"That is sweet," said Eve.

Everyone gave her and odd look.

"What?" she asked innocently. "I'm in a really happy place right now. Sorry." She fondly looked down at her stomach. There was something inside of her. And it was going to be lovely. It would have a lovely and caring mother. And it would have a father filled with passion and love.

Yes, Eve was absolutely happy.

"Go on," said John.

So Robin explained what had happened while everyone was silent. He said that Marian loved him and he loved her. He recalled how he had fought Guy until Marian found Stephan.

"So," said Allan, "she finished our errand didn't she?"

"Not quite," said Robin. "You need to help her finish it."

"Me?" Allan pointed to himself.

"What does he have to do?" asked John protectively.

"You were both the witness and the man who gave Marian away at her wedding. You need to speak to Stephan and answer his questions. Which means you need to follow us."

"We're coming too," said Will.

"All of us," said John.

Robin nodded. "My gang, I am sorry to continue leaving you in the heat of the moment. I doubt that it will happen again."

"Now that you have Marian," said Will.

Robin looked at Will. They had seen so much together. Now they would end this once and for all.

Everyone walked back to Meg's house.

Meg walked beside Robin. "We need to figure out what to do."

"About what?" asked Robin.

"About Guy and Clara," said Meg. "Especially Clara."

"What can we do?" asked Robin.

"If you take Clara with you," said Meg, "Guy will never recover, we both know that."

"So you suggest that I leave her here with you and Guy? That would destroy Marian," said Robin.

Meg nodded. "I know. I know. This is not simple."

"Simple is far from the word I would use," agreed Robin. "And, to make matters worse, we do not know what we shall find in the journey home."

"What do you mean?" asked Meg.

"Things have changed since you have left home," said Robin. "Though the evil has been defeated, I fear that we shall return to a still evil Nottingham. The sheriff probably appointed one of his henchmen as ruler and—"

"If you think that fast your head is likely to explode," said Meg. "One battle at a time."

They were at Meg's house. She opened the door and found everyone exactly where she had left them.

"Sorry," said Robin, "did we miss anything important?"

Stephan rolled his eyes. "Not really."

Guy looked at the eager faces that were about to publicly watch him suffer. He was still holding Clara gently in his arms, almost like he was unwilling to let go of her. "You brought all of them did you? Don't have any extra men running around?"

Robin normally would have rebounded with a witty joke. But he was solemn as he looked at Guy. Meg was right; Guy did look so sad and miserable. Like his entire being had become like a barrel of Greek fire. It was waiting to be lit up and…and then…

There was no telling what would happen next.

"Where do you need me?" asked Allan breaking the silence and walking over to Stephan.

Stephan and Allan began talking about Guy and Marian's wedding.

While the two of them talked Guy suddenly felt a poke on his side. He discreetly turned his head and saw Meg standing behind him.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"Not the time Meg," Guy whispered back.

"Guy you are giving up the only thing you hold dear in this world," Meg whispered quickly. "Why do this?"

Guy ignored her question. He walked closer to Marian and farther from Meg.

Marian looked at Guy as he stepped closer to her. He was still holding Clara. She smiled at him and asked him if he wanted her to hold the baby. At least, she said, while they went along with the annulment.

Guy was in a daze.

Marian repeated her question. She said his arms must be worn out and she did not mind holding Clara.

And Guy wanted to say no.

He wanted to plead to this woman to have one last minute with his child. One last minute to hold her, in his arms, and love her forever. Though forever appeared like such a short time now…

But, to Meg's anger, Guy handed Clara to Marian.

Stephan now began the proceedings for the annulment.

He cleared his throat as he looked at Guy and Marian. "There are four main reasons for why annulments are valid. The first reason is that the marriage contract, was, itself, invalid. The second reason is if one of you has been married before, which I doubt." He paused briefly hoping for a laugh, or even a slight chuckle, but the room was silent.

"Tough crowd," he muttered under his breath.

"Anyway, the other two reasons are, basically one of the parties lacked intent on the marriage."

"Intent?" Much interrupted.

"They did not intend to marry," explained Stephan, "because they were forced, or for some other reason." He looked at Marian. "Were you unwilling?"

Marian bit her lip. "Is loving another enough proof?"

Stephan shook his head. "No it is not enough proof, unless you have an accountable witness to attest to your feelings."

Allan raised his hand. "What about me?"

Stephan rolled his eyes. "So, besides giving her away, and being a witness to marriage you can honestly attest to the annulment?"

Allan nodded. "Yeah."

Stephan looked at Robin, and then at Allan again. "Allan you need to swear to me, that the account you give of Marian's words is the truth. I do not want you to be a good friend right now," he chanced a glance at his brother and back at Allan, "I need you to be a good man."

Allan scoffed. How many times had he heard that before?

Too many?

Absolutely too many.

"Well you want the truth then?"

Stephan nodded.

"Just before the wedding started she talked to me privately," said Allan, "she told me, that she did not love Gisborne. She was thinking about Robin, and she wanted me to tell him that. She was marrying Guy, for Robin, so that she would be alive which was what Robin wanted."

"That's true," said Will jumping into the conversation. "I talked with her about that earlier."

Stephan nodded. "Okay, so the annulment is valid. And, on those grounds I do not think even God would wish to interfere. So you are officially no longer married in the eyes of the church or God."

And there it was.

In those two sentences Guy and Marian had broken from each other completely.

Finally.

Guy looked briefly at Marian.

She is holding Clara.

That was how it was going to be then. Guy bit his lip.

Marian, oblivious to Guy's pain in her own happiness ran to Robin and hugged him with her free hand. She kissed him on the lips.

And Robin felt blissful.

Until he saw Clara look up at him with her all knowing eyes.

The entire gang started crowding around Robin cheering his good fortune and Marian's as well.

Guy was left alone with Meg by his side.

"You did it," she said soberly.

Guy nodded. His insides were collapsing. His heart was breaking. He could barely stand on just the support of his two legs.

He did not even feel the ground underneath his feet.

He let Meg wrap her arm around his waist for support and courage.

And, in the midst of his rejoicing Robin saw Guy crumble. He excused himself from the happiness around him. Marian noticed he was going to leave and caught his arm in her hand.

"Where are you going?" The sadness was written on her face. They had been together only for moments, and now he was leaving again?

Robin smiled at her. At the love of his life. "There are still things left unsorted."

Marian was not quite sure what her love meant. But she nodded and let the gang swallow her up with their questions and comments.

Robin, the hero of Sherwood, the lover of justice, walked over to the man who had been unjustly denied what he wanted. And, though he did not know how, Robin felt his heart go out to the cold-blooded killer, now turned human. They had both been broken and brought to their knees.

And that brought them together.

"I need to talk with you for a moment," he said to Guy.

They stepped out of the house and into the street.

"What do you want?" Guy asked.

"To talk to you," said Robin.

"About what?" Guy was not in the best of moods.

"I want to thank you Guy," said Robin hoping to start this conversation well. "If you had not said yes I…I don't even like to think of what would happen to me."

Guy said nothing.

Robin continued, "But, I can imagine I would feel something like you feel now."

Guy looked up at Robin. He raised a eyebrow. "I have no idea what you are talking about."

But Guy was nervous. Did Robin know?

"I think you do," said Robin coolly. "Because I know how I would feel if someone heartlessly took away the only thing in my life that meant something to me. The only thing that made me a good man. When Marian was gone it felt like, like, I had the wind knocked out of me all the time. I could not breathe, or think, or even smile. I wished for coherent thoughts, or sentences. And I was cruel to those who only tried to love me. And I swear to you Guy, I will not let that happen to another man."

Robin waited for Guy to respond but Guy was still silent.

"I will not let that happen to you Guy," said Robin.

Guy looked at Robin as one of the dead. "You already have."

Robin shook his head. "No, I want to help you."

"How can you when it is because of you that I am broken?"

"I did this to you?" Robin pointed to himself. Perhaps Meg was wrong. Perhaps Guy, all along loved Marian and he was just the selfish arse he had always been.

Guy scoffed. "You took her away from me."

"You took her away from me!" exclaimed Robin passionately.

"You do not know what is the matter if you think this is about Marian," said Guy.

Robin put his hands on his hips. "I know it is about Clara."

Guy's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Meg guessed it," said Robin, "and I thought about it. It all made sense. The reasons why you fought the sheriff so bitterly, why you seemed shattered when I said she was mine, why you abandoned your home in the middle of the night, and why you gave her the annulment."

Guy smiled. "You cannot explain why I gave her the annulment."

Robin shook his head. "I can." In his head he was thinking quite hard about proving that point. He was beginning to see that clearer too.

"It is because," said Robin, "because you felt that you did not deserve her."

Guy was pretty shocked that Robin guessed that. But he did not want the outlaw to know how right he was. That would make Guy vulnerable. That would make Guy visibly shattered, on the outside. He relied so much on his dispassionate exterior. He never thought that anyone, especially Hood, would ever figure him out.

And so well too.

"You said yes to the annulment," said Robin, "because you love your daughter so much. You do not think that you can deserve to raise someone that pure."

"How could you possibly know that?" asked Guy.

Robin bit his lip. "Because I have felt the same feelings."

Guy raised a curious brow. "Really?"

Robin nodded. "In the first weeks when you took Marian away, I considered not going after her."

"You're joking."

"I'm serious, I loved her with all my heart, but, I wondered if I deserved her. She is so amazing, and beautiful, and brilliant, and she deserves so much more than to live the life I lead. You could have given her wealth, security, comfort…all the things that I could never guarantee."

"So," said Guy, "what changed?"

Robin looked at Guy thoughtfully. "I remembered that I had a voice to my life. I remembered that I couldn't just let things happen to me, or let things happen. You know, from the past, I do not let things go by easily."

Guy nodded in agreement.

"So, why should I let that be any different from how I lead my own life?"

"Why are you telling me all of this?" asked Guy.

Robin put a hand on Guy's shoulder. "Tell Marian how you feel. Tell Marian what you want to do about Clara. She will understand, I am sure."

"You are sure?" Guy asked in a mocking tone.

Robin shrugged. "She is your child too Guy, you get some say."

"And how would that work?" asked Guy. "She leaves with you for England, and visits me at Christmas?"

Robin shrugged. "Do you want me to warm her up a little?"

Guy shrugged nonchalantly.

Robin walked back into the house. Marian was waiting for him with free hands. Djaq was in charge of holding little Clara. She smiled down at the sweet child nestled in gentle sleep. Though she was happy that Marian brought this child into the world, she was also slightly jealous. First Marian, now Eve too was pregnant.

Djaq wondered if she would ever have the chance to have her own child with Will.

Will, because he understood her so well, put his arms around her waist and kissed her on her cheek. "One day my love, one day."

While Will consoled his jealous fiancé, Robin and Marian embraced each other as if it was the very first time. He kissed her passionately on the lips forgetting his past anger and misery entirely.

"It has been forever," she said quietly.

"I knew I would find you," he whispered in her ear.

She giggled. "And soon we shall return home, my darling, together."

Robin nodded and released her from the embrace. But he still held onto her hands. He was finally with her; he was not willing to let her go that easily, not again. Not ever again.

Marian was quick to notice something was wrong. "What is it?"

"Guy," said Robin.

Marian bit her lip. "Robin, I thought you did not care…" Her voice fell with shame and sadness.

Robin chuckled. "No, it is not like that. You were right, I do not care. But, I think he needs to talk with you about something before we leave."

Together they walked outside, past the happy outlaws who rejoiced, to Guy. Guy was waiting for them outside and his eyes widened when he saw Marian, without Clara.

"Where is Clara?" asked Guy.

"Djaq is holding her," said Marian.

Guy nodded.

"Tell her," Robin mouthed to Guy.

Guy took a deep breath. "Marian, I need to tell you something. I love her."

"Meg? I figured as much," said Marian. "If you are happy with her Guy, then I am—"

Guy shook his head. "No, I mean yes, but I did not mean Meg. I meant Clara. Marian, if you take Clara back to England, I will not be able to live much longer. I need to see her, to raise her, she is part of me, Marian, just as she is part of you."

"You want me to let her stay here with you?" asked Marian. "Then I will never see her, then I will feel less whole."

Guy and Marian looked at each other, both feeling shame and regret at the other's anger. They were both tormented by the tiny creature who brought them such joy and happiness.

Robin cleared his throat. "Can I offer a suggestion?"

Both parents nodded.

"Come back with us Guy," said Robin. "We can kick out whoever the sheriff put in his absence, and we can make you the sheriff of Nottingham. That way Clara can stay in England and will see both of her parents equally. What do you think?"

And what do you think...they shall think?? sheriff of nottingham?? whats going to happen with meg?? has robin lost his mind??? love you all!!!!!!!!!!