Sorry this is getting up late. I tried to upload it last night, but something was messing with the uploading process. It didn't work this morning either, but after much confusion and communication, hopefully this time it will work.
Chapter 73 - Communication
But their first sleep without any urgent mission on the horizon didn't fall smoothly. Curled beneath the warm blankets, Jolinar woke first when the alert sounded just outside the lack of door in their chamber. She blinked, as Sam woke a little more slowly, then held the blanket to her chest and grabbed the robe that sat by their bed. It was barely slipped on when a Tok'ra stopped in the doorway.
"What is it?" Jolinar asked quickly.
"Security has failed, but it is something you will be most called to," said the Tok'ra, waiting as Jolinar stood and pushed her hair back.
~How could that be?~ Sam asked, but Jolinar's frown spoke the question aloud for them.
"It is Quetesh's host," the Tok'ra explained as they walked quickly down the halls, the alert flashing and the sound annoying. "She incapacitated two guards by the rings when they refused to grant her access to the surface. We believe she is up there now, but the gate is guarded."
"So, like Cordesh," Jolinar said, half under her breath.
~What is Vala doing?~ Sam wondered, worried for everyone involved.
"We have spent no time with her, so we do not know how to deal with this," the Tok'ra explained. "Garshaw asked for you."
"Of course," Jolinar said, the last of sleep bleariness gone from her eyes, even if her mind felt a little heavy.
It only took a couple minutes to get to Garshaw, and the Grand Councillor spoke swiftly. "Vala Mal Doran cannot leave like this; she is behaving unstably, and is a risk to both us and herself."
Sam nodded.
"I was afraid of this, even after what you seemed to accomplish," Garshaw said with a sigh.
~Why does it have to be so difficult?~ Sam wondered. But now was not the time. She and Jolinar ringed to the surface, and met the pure dark of the sky, full moon and stars giving long shadows to every rock and dune.
Four Tok'ra stood by the gate, not letting Sam's presence distract them from their task.
*She will be waiting nearby, we may assume,* Jolinar said, addressing their task. *But what can she be thinking?*
~Maybe she isn't, I don't know.~ But Sam did know that this didn't feel right.
Jolinar scanned the horizon, but she couldn't get into Vala's head to know where she'd head. After standing for a moment, her eyes finally adjusting to the lighting, she decided to go on instinct. It was more than a guess, all things considered.
Vala wasn't Cordesh, however. Jolinar had barely gone two hundred yards from the gate when she caught a glimpse of movement. She darted silently after it.
Her feet patted almost without sound across the soft sand, and she'd almost caught up to Vala when the woman turned around.
"Vala, do not run," Jolinar asked, putting out a hand.
Vala turned sharply to dart away again, but tripped over the unstable surface. Jolinar stepped forward to grab her hand, hold her still. But Jolinar didn't see Vala's hand clench in the dark, and so was completely off guard when Vala punched her sharply across the jaw. Jolinar's head snapped back, and she felt more shock than she should have, given how desperate Vala had already shown herself.
"Vala," Jolinar started to say a second after, still not letting go, but Vala's fist came up again and Jolinar didn't have time to think, she just shot her own punch back at Vala.
Vala breathed in sharply at the hit, but stopped trying to escape, bringing her hand up to her face. Sam regretted the action, and Jolinar didn't need much convincing, but now they had nothing—Sam took control to step closer to the now-still Vala.
"We aren't your enemy, Vala," she said softly.
But even in the dark, Vala's eyes were wide and bright with fright. "Let me go," she ordered, voice shaking.
"Vala, wait," Sam tried again.
But Vala tried to yank her hand away, and only succeeded in toppling Sam over, so they fell crashing to the sand. Vala choked in a breath, and started striking out again, trying to push Sam away. "Hey," tried Sam, but the first strike hit her stomach, and her breath caught in her throat. She held Vala's shoulders, but another strike hit her, and another.
Vala's breaths were coming in fast, no plan in her actions. *What now?* Jolinar asked.
~I don't know; she's terrified of capture.~
But that gave Sam the only idea she had, so she just held on firmly to Vala, gritting her teeth as she gripped the woman's shoulder and refused to let go. Vala pummeled all the strength she could into Sam, but her breaths turned into sobs, and her strength faltered.
*It is catharsis,* Jolinar said, emotions dawning on her as she could finally breath without being struck. *She pushed away her fear and hatred, and it manifested as this.*
~We're a Quetesh substitute?~ Sam asked, horror drowning out some of the aching pain from Vala's attack.
*And we are not responding, not accepting her request to fight back.*
Vala crumpled on the sand, gasping hard, without any further recourse. Even in the dark and the near-chaos, she didn't try to escape again. Sam loosened her grip, just half sat next to her. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I'm sorry we stole your revenge from you."
"Don't," Vala managed, voice tight, face shadowed by the backlighting of the moon. "It wasn't mine to take. I didn't fight before. I can only run now, but not even—"
"You were running, yes," Sam said, Jolinar's tone bleeding through. "We gathered that."
"I have nothing here," Vala countered, flinging the emotionally saturated words at her.
"So you just run?" Sam asked, almost incredulous. Vala just lay on the sand, silent. "This is ridiculous," Sam continued. Disgust was rising, not for Vala herself, but for something that couldn't easily be articulated, and all Sam knew was that Jolinar felt it first. "So maybe your family is dead, maybe you have no friends, maybe you're just afraid that even this nightmare is too good to be true. But after all we went through to destroy Quetesh, this is what you're going to do with that gift? Run away? And then what, keep running, forever?"
Vala sat up. "I don't have much alternative, do I?" she said, a fake lightness in her voice as she tossed a hand towards Sam.
"Don't say that," Sam said, pointing a finger at her. "You didn't even ask, so how can you know?"
"You are Goa'uld," Vala protested.
"And you know that isn't true," Sam said back. "But even—even if you were so upset, why didn't you just tell someone? Why not ask for help, or even ask for another place to go? Why attack innocent people on your escape as if you were a criminal? Vala, have you thought at all about what you've been doing?" Even as she said it, though, she felt Jolinar appreciate the irony, and her accusation might as well apply to her and Jolinar. And that stung, now that she addressed it.
"I couldn't know if you'd let me go—asking would give away too much," Vala said.
"We're not Quetesh," Sam said firmly, and watched as Vala's defensive stance tightened. "There's no need for trickery."
"But what now?" Vala asked, almost a demand.
What now indeed. The question was uncomfortable for them all.
"You need to figure out what kind of life you want, and then make it happen," Sam said after a second. And then, in not a particularly gentle gesture, just a bold one, she put out her hand to hold Vala's again. "And we're not going to make you do that while you're on the run."
Vala looked at her, all the weight of slavery and exposure to a devious mind clearly hanging as baggage in the back of her mind.
Sam's frustration, more with herself than Vala, she now realized, waned. "Please?" she offered, a little more honest. "Please stop running."
"I hit you," Vala said, with a slight tip of her head.
"I'm not dead," Sam said, and managed a weak smile.
"I didn't want to," Vala admitted.
"Well, if you can help me up, that would be good," Sam said, wincing now that she thought of it.
Vala got to her feet and tentatively lowered a hand. Sam breathed out slowly as she rose, feeling Jolinar already starting on healing the would-be bruises on her torso. Then, in a moment that Sam had not expected, Vala offered her arm. Sam accepted the support; not necessary for her physically, but she had figured out by now that Vala needed to be wanted. So, leaning on her shoulder, they started walking back towards the rings.
"Quetesh is dead and gone, you know," Sam offered as they walked, feeling the ache of the marks of Vala's panic start to fade. "Her kingdom is fallen. You have a whole life to plan."
"I have nothing to even start with," Vala said barely loud enough for her to hear.
And then, Jolinar could identify her sympathy. Memories threatened to flood on her, the first baby steps after a life of tyranny, with nothing she could pull on to help her. Suddenly she could sympathize with a host. "Nothing wrong with a clean slate," Sam said, and in a way it was to all of them.
Vala didn't speak again, but Sam knew what to do for now.
ooooooo
"Team breakfast again?" Jack groaned, but taking a seat at the large commissary table anyway.
"A breakfast of friends, O'Neill," Sha're offered with a small smile, sitting across from Daniel and sitting Shifu on her knee.
Jack glanced around the table, seeing Teal'c, Mckay, and Dixon more fully now. "What's up?" he asked suspiciously.
Daniel didn't want to ruin his meaningless grumpery with something more serious, but it had to be done. "A government agent is being sent to evaluate the Stargate program in a week and a half."
"Again? Isn't that becoming a little cliche?" Jack always managed to keep gravity from his tone, no matter what his eyes said.
"Yes, but so are the disasters that happen on most missions," Mckay said with a frustrated sigh.
"This hasn't been a good year so far," Daniel said. He hadn't added it all up until hearing the news, but it didn't surprise him.
"Earth's still here," Jack protested. "Which given the odds, is quite...something."
"Bureaucrats can't see that far," Dixon said. "They see things like people lost, resources lost, opportunities lost. We haven't made any new allies and we haven't brought back anything important. In fact, most of the things we brought back bit us in the ass."
"What about that Goa'uld thing you did to Teal'c," Jack asked, looking at Mckay.
Mckay's eyebrows rose almost hopefully, but Daniel decided to cut him off. "It only works if we have a hand device or a healing device."
Jack made a buzzing hum for a second. "If they wanted more discoveries, they shouldn't have limited our gate travel," he said.
"Okay, wait a minute," Mckay said, putting up a finger. "Isn't it something that we may know of a group also trying to destroy the Goa'uld?" He glanced at Sha're for reference.
"No, what is something is that we don't even know what this guy is coming here to do," said Dixon.
"I don't like this," Jack said flatly. "I don't care if we get out of this okay or not, I don't like feeling under a constant watch."
"It's certainly not good business," Mckay said, turning his attention back to the breakfast the rest of them had abandoned.
Daniel looked to Sha're for an opinion, but from where she had stood, most of the luck had been good. And maybe something would happen to change the rest of their opinions as well. Daniel could only hope.
ooooooo
"I do not want to stay here," Vala still insisted, even after everything had been explained and excused. "The feel of—everywhere," she said, waving her hand around the back of her neck.
"Naquadah," said Sam, as they sat in the Tok'ra mess hall. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that." And though the more casual tone seemed to soothe Vala more than any sympathy, Sam could remember her own first days on the Tok'ra base, how it had almost felt unsafe.
"I remember my homeworld," Vala said, drawing her gaze away from the quiet surroundings to look at Sam. "Its name at least."
"That's good," said Sam, perking up.
But Vala shook her head. "I have no family there. No one who would trust that—"
*The Tok'ra know of worlds where former hosts are welcomed,* Jolinar said. *They are quiet, simple, out of the way.*
~And Vala is none of those. Just look at her, she is itching to do something, she just hasn't found a way to feel safe about it.~
*What do you think of Dorieth? Would they not trust our word that she is released?*
~Not yet, Jolinar. I don't know what they would think, but Vala certainly isn't ready.~
"Are you talking to her?" Vala asked, half curious and half suspicious, pointing at Sam's head.
"Yes," Sam said. "Jolinar is a friend, we talk about everything."
"That makes no sense," Vala said with a shaky, dismissive laugh.
"I remember thinking that," Sam said, voice trailing off with the thought.
"Why can I not leave?" Vala asked again, leaning forward. "You have not said."
"It's not safe for you, for many reasons," Sam said. But she sighed, and pushed a strand of hair out of her face, feeling that it was a perverse situation that made talking to Vala easier after they had exchanged blows. Jolinar found that almost amusing as Sam spoke. "Look, Vala, I don't have much more idea than you have. Truthfully, I don't even know what I'm doing. Quetesh—threw off everything, and I'm still trying to align it all back to normal."
Vala closed her eyes, shaking her head shortly. "I know, and I do not want to remember."
"It's okay," Sam said, looking Vala in the eye. And it was true, she had forgotten just how Vala's face once made her jerk away in defense. "I'm just thinking, maybe I'm trying too soon."
"But what else is there to do?" Vala asked, frowning. She looked around. "I will not stay in bed anymore. I have slept enough for three lifetimes."
"Oh god, no," Sam said with half a laugh. "That's the worst. But, you know, there's other things you can do here. I can show you all sorts of things. For one, I noticed last night that your fist was all wrong; it's why your knuckles split." She nodded to the small bandage on Vala's hand.
"And?" Vala turned an eye on her.
"And, we can work on getting you some more defense skills," Sam said. "It's something to fill the time, until we figure out exactly what we need."
"Is that all?" Vala's eyes hadn't exactly lit up, but she hadn't recoiled either.
Sam sighed. "It doesn't have to be." She felt Jolinar right with her as she continued, "But I don't feel like looking to the future anymore. We won a big war, and that's going to have to keep me going for a while yet."
Vala nodded slowly, then looked back up. "Tell me, how did you win the battle?"
Sam smiled; she didn't mind reliving that over and over again. The more she talked, though, the more she felt unqualified and lost. Jolinar eventually pointed out, she was offering advice to Vala that she hoped would work for herself. But it satisfied in the moment; Sam found herself enjoying Vala's company, now that the former host had been pushed to find her voice, and Vala seemed to almost eat up every bit of attention and interest pointed her way.
Martouf and Lantash came through the gate that evening, and found Sam in the mess hall again, covertly telling Vala which were the Tok'ra foods to avoid, and which ones didn't take much effort to taste good.
"Back so soon?" Sam asked.
"Of course not," said Lantash with a shake of his head. "We are only a hologram."
Vala's brow narrowed and she reached out a finger to poke his shoulder. He was perfectly solid, and she made a small dark noise under her breath before picking up her tray again.
"Things must be going well, if you're being teasing again," Sam said, biting back a small smile at the straightforward manner Vala cut away equivocation.
"Well enough; there is much news. May we join you?" Lantash cast a cautious glance Vala's way.
Sam met Vala's look, read the relative ease there, and then nodded to Lantash. They sat at their usual table, Sam pulling an extra chair for Vala to sit next to her.
Lantash had a look that said he was pleased with the day, more open than usual. He also seemed to have more words to say, but paused for a second, meeting Sam's gaze.
"Well?" she asked, taking a bit of her food. Both she and Jolinar had not forgotten the last mission; much as they had been too weary to continue with it, the subject could hardly leave their mind.
"I am thinking if maybe the Council is right after all," Lantash said, still meeting her gaze. "I had not thought so before, considering the good fortune that manifested. However, I now realize that were it not for your schemes, we should never have had to draft contracts between humans and Jaffa who cannot agree on the proper alliance."
Jolinar found herself more interested. "Is it come to that indeed?" Sam felt a moment of pleasure to realize that Vala had not flinched even a moment to hear Lantash and Jolinar speak.
"Most certainly," said Lantash. He sat back in his chair with a light sigh. "And the Council is not at all sure that I—or Martouf, rather—should be focusing my efforts on such a task that does not serve our greater goal. Again, it is your enthusiasm imbued into these people that gives us little other option. The Council might have taken that other option, left it all alone, were it not for my presence in this mission."
"Do you regret now reinstating your status as operative?" Jolinar asked shrewdly.
"Regret, no, reevaluate, yes," Lantash said. He sighed. "Martouf and I both are glad to have a more traditional approach at the end of this mission, or at least traditional for us."
"How exactly has it gone?" Jolinar asked.
"Bra'tac and his Jaffa returned to Chulak, as you might remember," said Lantash, steepling his fingers on the table as he talked. "But they returned yesterday with more purpose. Bra'tac has had a dream of a Free Jaffa nation for many years now, which is more than any of those from Quetesh's forces could say, and even more than Sha're's people who are among the human population. He said that Chulak is already organized, and participants should all withdraw there until everything is settled. But his Jaffa are not inclined to welcome those who are not Jaffa."
"Even after the battle?" Jolinar asked, incredulous.
Lantash vaguely shrugged. "As it now stands, there is some organization on Dorieth among the humans who were formerly slaves, even more on Chulak among the Jaffa, and a random assortment on the world where we assembled, which is now being renamed Calmah Tealc. Bra'tac did speak highly of the humans, though, mentioning others who had aided the Jaffa in the past and proved valuable allies. It was enough that Martouf could convince all of the leaders to agree to be allies. I believe integration would be their wisest choice, but so far it is not looking favorable."
Sam wondered how the Tok'ra would view the outcome of this, in political terms. And she wondered how well these tiny nations could survive on their own after showing such insolence to the Goa'uld. "What of the ships won in the battle?" Jolinar asked.
"That is a difficult point," Lantash said with a slow nod. "But one thing which has been resolved is the entire population involved in this revolution. The Jaffa held in prison on Dorieth were given the news of what happened at Selenis, and then the sight of the multitude of Jaffa standing free gave them the final push to wish for freedom. Also, some humans from Dorieth made their way unbeknownst to us to another world, a breeding world as they called it."
Sam and Jolinar listened even closely, but from the corner of their eye saw Vala shrink momentarily, casting her eyes downward as if not sure she wanted to hear more.
"It also has been freed, due to a resistance already set in place by some of Sha're's people held there," Lantash said. He paused, a slight grimace on his face. "There was some difficulty given how many lives were lost, including many Jaffa. From that world, only a few have turned to join Bra'tac and the others."
"This can't go on forever, though," Jolinar said with a frown, surprised and pleased, but worried at the same time.
"No," Lantash said in firm agreement. "Which is why I returned here. The momentum must halt on its own soon, but Martouf and I believe that you giving your opinion on the matter would make it easier and sooner. Which is needed, given how little organization is set up."
Jolinar nodded slowly. In a quick assessment, Sam saw no problem inherent. It would be a short matter, something necessary given how they and Vala now stood. "We will do that," Jolinar said aloud.
"Does it not feel odd to you, separate so long from a mission that has been nearly all your work?" Lantash asked. "It feels odd for Martouf and I, as if we are coming in on the tail end and managing only small official business."
"It is not something I would be comfortable with," Jolinar said, short and honest as she looked him in the eye. "The negotiation."
"So I might have guessed," said Lantash with a small smile. "Shall I see you tomorrow then, on Calmah Tealc?"
Jolinar nodded.
Lantash glanced around the mess hall, though for no apparent reason. "Martouf is telling me that there are other things that call us, though honestly, I think both of us would prefer to spend the rest of the evening with you."
Jolinar gave him a short look, holding back as much of her smile as she could. "Come now, go, take care of yourselves. I already have company."
"So you do," said Lantash, smiling at Vala, who was now looking up again.
"Oh," said Sam, coming quickly to the front. "Vala, this is Lantash and his host Martouf. Martouf and Lantash, this is Vala Mal Doran."
"It is an honor to see your true self," Lantash said with a slight head nod.
Vala nodded back. Then Lantash excused himself from the table, and Sam turned back to Vala. "I was planning to show you the firing range tomorrow," she said.
"I cannot shoot," Vala said with a slight crease of her brows.
"Yes, I hoped I could teach you," Sam said, tipping her head. "It's something well worth learning. And, well, it's something I do sometimes when I am frustrated and don't know what to do about it. But you could figure it out on your own, I'm sure."
Vala didn't say anything for a second, then something in her eyes cleared. "Yes," she said. "If it is allowed?"
"There are training weapons," Sam said. "Besides, you can't try to escape again until I have a chance to see how natural your aim is."
"I believe I have very keen eyes," said Vala, the hint of determination in her tone more playful than not.
"That works, then," said Sam.
Vala gave her a small look that Sam couldn't read, neither smile nor frown, then shook her head and continued eating with a more pondersome one.
*She is not like Sha're at all,* Jolinar said.
~We don't need a Sha're right now,~ Sam answered, as she took another bite of food. ~And she didn't need us, and that's a good thing. This is about Quetesh, and about finishing off that last little bit she has over us, and Vala too. Jolinar, this is what we need to be doing. Wiping every last influence out.~
Jolinar could think of a few questions relating to that, but she didn't ask them. No point in it. Deep down, a wound still festered; they and Vala had had too high a price exacted from them. Even with Quetesh gone, they had to convince themselves that it was over.